CHAPTER 54: CHRISTMAS CARDS, GROOMZILLAS, RESULTS AND COMING HOME

LOUNGE – THURSDAY LUNCHTIME

EMILY

Daphne has expressed and Vince and Francine are feeding Cara and Aaron.  The family, for now we have been subsumed, have been great and left us all alone with them for a couple of days so that they bond with us.

The grandmothers have been on food since Daphne went into hospital but as Del is going back to New York tomorrow, Zee has booted them out.

“Excuse me but can I have my godchildren now?”  Brian demands.

“Yes, where would you like them?”  Francine giggles.

“Upstairs.  Justin you can come too.”

“Why thank you.”  He scoffs, earning himself a glare but follows him grinning.

Less than two minutes later Francine is back.

“What’s going on?”  I ask her and she shrugs. Vince and Daphne are chuckling.  “Okay, what’s got you two laughing?”

“You’ll see.  Mr T might not agree with it but he knows his man enough to just let him get on with it.”  Vince smiles.

“Get on with what?”  Del demands.

Our answer comes when the door opens and Justin comes in with Cara and Brian has Aaron, dressed head to very tiny toes in Gucci!

“What?”  Brian settles down on the sofa.  “You’re never too young for Gucci.”

“Kiddo only you!”  Debs laughs.  “The dry cleaning bill is going to be immense and…”

“Oh no-no.”  Brian interrupts.  “This is for this.  And the rest is for when they are going out, not for normal everyday wear.  I’m not that impractical”   He huffs.

“The ‘this’ is for our Christmas card.”  Justin adds.

“Christmas card?”  Gus echoes.  “Papa, what are you talking about?”

“Everyone go and get changed.”  Brian orders.  “The outfits are in the side room.”

“Brian what are you up to?”  Faal calls out as he leaves.

“You’ll see.  Emily, when you’re done with yourself, can you help Zee and Emmy with the furballs?  And Zeus, can you and Sol sort out the room that was the Gallery Room.”

“Oh long tall fellah, are you going to harness your inner butch-bitch?”  Del snorts.

“Maybe.”  Brian smirks.

I trot to catch up with Del.  “What’s going on?”

“You’ll see.”  She grins and then bursts into laughter at the sight of the array of Christmas inspired outfits.

After two laughing hours, we are coming out of the Gallery Room. I’m not sure how many photos were taken but Debs, Brian, Zeph and Carl are in the office sorting through them.

“Okay what is going on?”  I demand.

“We’re sending Christmas cards out nice and early.”  Faal chuckles.

“I gathered that but why?”  I laugh.

“So that they can stare at them for a very long time.”  He replies lifting an eyebrow.  “But if you don’t want Cara and Aaron to be included then…”

“Oh no.  Send it to her.  Definitely!”  I guffaw as realisation dawns.  “We must all sign it too!”

“Been meaning to ask you...”  Zee links arms with me and steering me towards the kitchen snickering.  “Has Helbert been done?”

“No.  But Fuchsia has been.  We want to breed for him but not right now.”

“Ah.  You and Faal are of the same mind. Shame he had Claude done and not Storm.”

“Why?”  I help her gather the glasses and then grab the wine.  “Zee, why?”

“Seems we’re going to be grandmas.”  She replies, in mock annoyance.

“No!”  I gasp.  “Helbert!  You should be ashamed of yourself!”  I chide him. He opens one eye before yawning and curling back up.

“You’ve met Faal.  I swear to God he encouraged him!”  She gripes.  “Though that being said, they are going to be gorgeous if they come along!”

“Ohmygod.  Zee, I’m so sorry!”

“What for?  It solves the Fennec fox problem that Matt and Hunter have. Go save Hunter’s ego and casually mention that you spotted them at it then he can back out of that idea gracefully.”

I regard her for a moment before smiling.  “I can see why Lindsay would hate you.”

“You mean apart from being Black and being with Faal?”

“Oh no I don’t…”

“Honey, been in this skin all my life; you know when someone is being like that.  She may have dressed it up but it was a small part of it.  The rest was just pure jealousy and confusion.”

“Confusion?”

“Couldn’t understand why Faal loves me despite my crassness.  She didn’t see he loves me because of it.  And that’s why she is so jealous of you.  You don’t have her WASP upbringing or her privileges but you had acceptance from your family and that stuck in her craw.  She tried to bond with me when she found out how much Luther hates me.”

“That went down well, I’ll bet.”

She snorts indelicately.  “Part of me feels sorry for her though...”

“Why?!”  I exclaim.

“Because she still wants the approval of her parents but doesn’t get being a WASP is not the way to get it.  She just needed to be brave and say fuck you and walk away. Instead, she behaved in such a way that they walked away first.  I bet you she’s never been single and she will always have a backup plan so that she’s not alone. It’s sad really.”

I frown as I think back.  “You know what, I think you’re right.  I don’t think I’ve ever known her to be single.”

“She’s also an emotional coward.”  Zee continues.  “If she really had a good hard look at herself she’d realise that, along with everyone else, she doesn’t like herself.  So she prefers not to look and to dress the carcass to make the meal more appetising. But at the end of the day, it’s still carrion.”

She grabs the tray and grins.  “Come on, libations for the masses!”

As I follow her out with the bottles, I realise what she’s said.  “It’s still carrion.”  I repeat.  “Ouch!”

“Zan, Zeph and Menno, can you guys come help?”  Zee asks.

“Sure. What’s up?”  Menno takes a swig of his beer.

“Lunch and I need people who aren’t going to pick at it between the kitchen and here!”  She replies as she leaves.

There’s muttering of discontent from certain parties but knowing smirks too.

Menno comes in and locks back the doors and then disappears again and then the next thing that happens is Zeus groans.

“I blame you.”  He looks across at Daphne, who looks back at him confused.  “Rarebit run burger is coming.”

“She is trying to kill me.”  Brian grumbles, loosening his jeans.

“Surely it can’t be that…”  The rest of the sentence dies on my lips as Zan and Zeph come in with a tray each of burgers... or should I say mini high rise buildings.  “Are you kidding me?  Each? One of those each?”

ZEE

“Daph needs the protein.  However, I have vegan option with mushroom, smoked soy cheese and avocado.”  I call out and head back to the kitchen.

“What else is there?!”  Mom calls out.

“String fries.”  I reply, coming back with one tray and Menno has the other.

“Seriously, when the hell did she do this?”  Sol looks at the mountain of food.

“You put my girl on her own in the kitchen and she can create magic.”  Emmy beams proudly.

“Right vegan on the blue tray and the rest is meat.”

“Oh this is so good! Can we have the recipe for both of these?”  Steve asks and she nods.

After about 10 minutes later, we’re moaning happily.  Vince is gazing at Daphne adoringly. He has already made his way through half his burger.    

“Not a hope.”  She tells him, licking her fingers as she tackles the burger.  “I’m serious, try and take anything off my plate… and condoms won’t be an issue…”

He wisely retracts his hand.

“Oh by the way, I hate to say this but it looks like us four are going to be grandparents.”  I turn to Francine.

“Huh?”

“Helbert and Storm got a little friendly.  Twice.”

“Seriously!”  Hunter mumbles round a mouthful of food and then chews quickly.  “Storm could be pregnant.”

“Well since neither Helbert nor Storm have been done, I’d say there’s a pretty good chance she is.”  I sigh dramatically, cutting my eyes at Faal.

“So if she is, then can we have the kittens?  Mom, pretty please mom?”  Hunter bats his eyes.

“Yeah.”

The look of profound relief on Matt’s face is priceless.  He’s going to have to figure out how to say no to that husband of his. But until that momentous occasion happens, I’ll help out when I can.

NEW JERSEY WOMEN’S CORRECTIONAL FACILITY – FRIDAY AFTERNOON

NURSE’S OFFICE

LINDSAY

Finally, I get my results!  Nurse Ratchet has been withholding them, I’m sure.

“First things first.  No HIV.  You will have to come back for the 2nd test, but so far so good.”  

I let out a breath of relief.  “And there’s nothing else.  He may have been a skank but he was an honest one.  So you’re clean.”

Ten minutes later I am back in my cell, sobbing in relief.

“Peterson.”  Guard Bitch calls out.  “Your lawyer is waiting.”

I get up and wipe my eyes and stand up.  “Don’t you have any empathy?”  I sniff.

“I have empathy for the deserving. You being here means you’re not.”  She replies.

“You don’t know anything.”  I snivel.

“I know that you willingly did what you did to get in here. Nobody can make you do something you know is wrong.”

I glare at her.  “There’s a difference between being willing to do something and doing something because it’s your only choice.”

“I hear tell that you got slapped by the guy who made you do this and reported him for assault. Is that true?”

“Yes it is.”  I reply proudly.

“So you didn’t think to tell the police what he was making you do at the same time?  You were arrested afterwards.  Don’t play the victim when you’re not one; it’s an insult to those who really are.  In here.”

INTERVIEW ROOM

“Prisoner Lindsay Peterson has entered the room for her attorney meeting.”

“Ah Lindsay, how are you?  Have you received your results yet?”

I glare at the door as it shuts.

“Lindsay?”

“Sorry Lance.  I’m okay, I guess.  I got my results. Luckily I’m clean but I do need to get a 2nd result for the HIV.”

“Ah I see.  Do you still want to privately sue him for sexual endangerment?”

“Yes, and emotional distress.”  I add. This causes his eyebrows to go up.  “What?”

“I would’ve thought that you would sue Novotny for that.  It’s not as if Holster made you have sex with him.  Novotny knew about the holes so he has caused the emotional distress.”

“Okay so we do that.”

He nods and then slides a piece of paper across to me with a smile.  “What’s this?”

“Read it and see.”

“Prisoner trans…prisoner transfer?  Where am I going?”  I gasp.

“Pittsburgh Women’s Correctional Facility.  It was a bit of a struggle but I managed to persuade them to hold off on your fraud trial until after Novotny’s.”  He smiles at me.  “And there’s more, look at the date.”

“Saturday? This Saturday?!”  I gasp.

“Yes.  Though there is one thing.  I won’t be able to represent you so I have recommended someone to you.  You’ll meet them on Monday.”

I sink back in my chair in relief. At least I’ll be home and away from Nurse Ratchet and Guard Bitch.

QUBE HOUSE – FRIDAY EARLY EVENING

LOUNGE

EMILY

Francine is on the phone looking tense.  She mouths Tobias at me and I sigh.

Zee frowns.  “What’s up with Francine?”  She asks me as Francine drains her glass while still on the phone nodding.

“Honey is everything okay?”  Emmy asks me.

“Yeah.  Well I hope so.”  I sigh, watching Francine roll her eyes.

“Tobias Schenk is queening out over his wedding.  He’s changed his mind four times over the same thing.  And with the babies here, even with Daph and Vince helping, it’s going to be…”

Zee gives my arm a squeeze and looks across at Emmy who nods and then she walks up to Francine and pulls her to the sofa.  She presses a glass of wine into her hand and takes the phone and hangs up!

“What the hell are you doing?”  She squeaks.

“He’ll call back.”  She replies.  “The adage the customer is always right only goes so far.  He’s trampling on you and you’ve got more important people to worry over and…”

She’s interrupted by the phone ringing and she hangs up again.  Another five minutes, it rings again and I have to hold Francine back.

“Francine’s line.  No it’s Zaden, we’ve had signal problems.  She’s busy at the moment, can I take a message?”

“Zaden hi!  Can you get her to call me back? And while I have you on the line, I want to…”

“Sure speak to you later.”

“But…”

She cuts him off again and then takes out her phone and Faal starts to snicker and then beams at her.

“Never seen her actually work but have heard rumours.  Nice baby girl, nice.”  Zeon looks at her in awe.

Cynthia frowns before leaning across to Brian.  “What is she doing?”

“Getting him to call her.”

“And this helps…”

“This is Zaden.  Ah Tobias, what’s up?  Actually before you start, can I have Darius on the line too?  Oh right, well call me back when he is.”

She reaches for the wine and her phone rings again.  “Hi guys.  What do we need to discuss?  I thought we agreed that you and the boys would share the reception.  Is that changing and if so, why?”

“It’s not changing per se, it’s just…”

“Tobias.”   Darius cuts him off.  “What exactly are you talking about?  We agreed.  What are you trying to change?”

“Nothing.”  Tobias’s voice sounds smaller.  “Well it’s just…”

“Zaden, where are you?”  Darius asks.

“Portland with Emily and Francine.  And the babies.  So can you give me the exact message for them Tobias?  I take it you want to change something?”

“Yes…”

“Oh right so what’s changed in your scheme, guest numbers, order of service that means they have to change things here?”

“Well nothing. It’s just that I think we should…”

“Should.   Now that’s an interesting word.  Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should do it.  Oh by the way, since Emily and Francine are now mothers because the babies arrived early, Emmy and I will be running your wedding.  That’s okay, isn’t it?”

Silence.

“This is where you, Tobias, say congratulations and of course it’s not a problem.  Because I will not hesitate in kicking you out of my house and leaving you to find your own venue and planners, despite everything you’ve done to help this family.”

“Tobias, what the fuck have you been doing?!”  Darius snaps.  “Sorry, we’ll call you back.”  He sighs.

“Did you just start a row between them?”  Blake asks.

“Nah, I’ve just got Darius to get Tobias to wind his neck in. To everyone, Tobias is the boss in this relationship but Darius is the top…”

“And besides…”  Faal laughs.  “Tobias is terrified of Zee. She almost made him cry.”

“Okay so who’s for pudding?”  I get a show of hands and head to the kitchen.

“Need some help?”  Faal comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me.

“Did I go too far?”  I lean back and sigh.

“A bit but it was deserved.”  He kisses the back of my neck.  “Come on, let’s go eat these lovely looking things.”

I wheel the tray, smiling to myself as everyone helps themselves.

Francine’s phone goes.  “Thank you Tobias, Darius.  They are gorgeous.  Cara and Aaron.  Okay, I’ll tell Zee, no problem.”

"Tell me what?”

“Nothing is going to change and Tobias said sorry for making you cross.”

“Aww bless him.  He thinks that was her being cross.”  Brian chuckles.

EMMY

“Why do I taste toffee, when there’s nothing but sorbet?”  Justin asks, licking at the spoon.  “Oh this is so good… Wait, it’s the spoon!”

“What?”  I demand and taste the spoon.  “Zaden, what have you done?”

“The entire dish is edible.”  She grins at me.  “Well apart from the handle.”

“So what’s the glass made of?”  Jennifer asks.

“Praline, though I think it needs to be a bit thinner.  And the spoon is toffee candy to give it some…Emmy come on, I test all the time.”

I turn my nose up and turn away from her.  “Stays off the menu and we, and I mean we, do it for Christmas?”  I pout.

“And not before.”  Zeus groans.  “I think I’ve put on about 20 pounds in four days!”

“Justin!”  Brian objects.  “You are going for a run before you come to bed.  I’m not being fucked so hard that I can’t sit down because you’ve become the fucking energizer bunny!”

“Dad!”  Gus wails.

PENNSYLVANIA UPSTATE CORRECTIONAL FACILITY – MONDAY AFTERNOON

MICHAEL

“Where are we going?”  I demand.

“You have a call.”  Comes the short reply. He opens the door and I take a seat at the table and pick up the handset, sighing as he sets the recording and nods.

“Brian?”  I begin.

“Michael?”

“Lindsay!  Lindsay, how are you?  I’m so sorry for what I did.”

“Michael.”  Her tone is cold.  “You slapped me twice. If it wasn’t for Medea, God know what would’ve happened.”

“I know what I did was wrong but can you ever forgive me?”  I plead.

“I suppose so but I don’t want to see you until I’m ready.”

“Fine.  That’s fine. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’ve been arrested on a lot of trumped up charges and have been in jail ever since.  We’re going to trial on the 6 January.  I need you to be a witness for me.  I know it’s a lot to ask but would you do it?”

“Yes.  I will.  But right now I have to go.  Bye Michael.”

I almost slump against the table in relief.  “Move it along, Novotny.”  I scowl at the guard and make my way back to my cell.

Yes, I’m starting to feel all is a lot better in my world.

PITTSBURGH WOMEN’S CORRECTIONAL FACILITY

INTERVIEW ROOM

LINDSAY

“Can I at least check the other calls I’ve had?”  

“No.”  Edwin Birch, my court appointed lawyer, replies.  “You’ve made the call you needed to.”

I sit back in my seat and sigh.  “So what do you think my chances are of getting a reduction in my sentence?”

“You do what I say when I say it, then justice will be served.”  He keeps looking through the documentation.  “Right, so we have a date.  I’ll see you in a week.  Goodbye Peterson.”

He sweeps out, leaving me staring at the empty space he’s left.

“Actually I prefer Lindsay.”  I mutter.

EDWIN BIRCH

“And I prefer not to be dealing with entitled princesses.”  I snap, startling her.  “We can’t get what we want all the time!”

As I head to the exit, I smile to myself.

I’m not one for enjoying cases but this is going to be fun.  When I was fired by the idiot, I was relieved because I just could not defend the indefensible.  But now I get to do this and this is so much better…two idiots for the trial of one.