Chapter 1

^^^^^^^^

"Dad!" Gus shouted as he flung the door of the house open.

"It's me, Sonny Boy," Brian laughed. "You wouldn't be a tad excited about our trip, would you?"

Gus threw himself into his father's arms and hugged him tight. All of the teenage reserve and cool of a fifteen year old was forgotten in Gus' enthusiasm to take this trip with his father.

"I'm ready. Let's go," Gus said pulling back.

"Don't you want to say goodbye to your mothers?" Brian smirked.

"Um … sure, I'm sorry. Bye, Mom and Mama," Gus said giving each of them a quick hug.

"You look after him, you hear," Melanie said with a glare at Brian.

"I intend to," Brian replied keeping his temper in check. He didn't want to ruin this for Gus, even though Melanie still knew how to push his buttons.

"You better fucking do more than intend."

"Mel," Lindsay said, trying to diffuse Melanie's hostility.

"I will take care of my son," Brian said through gritted teeth.

"I'll bring you back a present from New York City," Gus grinned, hoping that would put Melanie in a better mood. "Don't ruin it, Mama," he said with a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"We want you to have a good time," Lindsay said quickly. "Don't we, Mel?"

"Of course," Melanie said grudgingly, "although I don't see why after all this time your father sees the need to disrupt our lives by dragging you away on this so called vacation."

"Mel…" Lindsay tried once again.

"Where's your suitcase, Gus?" Justin said from the doorway. No one had paid any attention to him up till now, and he had heard just about enough.

"Right here," Gus said grabbing the handle and pulling it towards the door. "Bye, everybody," he added as he hurried through the door with Justin. He wanted to get going before somebody decided that he shouldn't be going at all. Justin helped him put the suitcase into the back of the Cherokee beside Brian's. Gus climbed into the back seat.

Brian gave Melanie a withering look and headed for the car. He wanted to tell the bitch where the fuck she could get off, but he wanted this trip with his son more. So, he bit his tongue and turned his back on the source of anger and frustration. He climbed into the passenger seat beside Justin. He turned to look back at Gus who was holding Bree's hand while she sat in her car seat. He was whispering to her.

"You okay, Sonny Boy?" Brian asked.

Gus looked up. Brian could see that there were unshed tears in his eyes. Melanie still had the knack of hurting them all. In fact, she seemed to have refined it to a fine art over the years.

"I'm okay," Gus said softly. "Bree's giving me a pep talk."

"She is?" Brian laughed to ease the tension.

"Gus goes on vacation just like me," Bree said proudly. That's what they had told her about where her dada was going and why. "You can swim and see the lighthouse and wide the twain," she told Gus.

"That's train, Squirt," Brian corrected her. He wanted her to get those r's right before she got any older.

"Train," she repeated carefully.

"Good girl," Gus said leaning over to kiss her cheek.

Bree giggled happily. "Dwink woot beer and eat booberries," she added matter of factly.

Brian groaned. "I'm sure we will, Squirt," he said giving up for the moment. "Maybe Daddy can work on those r's with you while we're gone."

"Of course, Daddy will have nothing else to do," Justin said huffily.

"You're okay with Dad and I going away, aren't you, Justin?" Gus asked with a worried look on his face.

"Don't worry, Gus. I think this trip is a great idea for you two. I just don't want a certain someone taking me for granted." He looked pointedly at Brian.

"Take you for granted? Never! In fact, have I thanked you for driving us to the airport?"

"Not in the last ten minutes," Justin grinned.

"Then let me say once again how gracious it was of you to offer to drive us," Brian said with his crooked grin. He leaned over and kissed Justin's cheek.

"I couldn't leave you to ride with the Munchers all that way, and then have them wait with you till you went through the security gate," Justin chuckled.

"I am eternally grateful to you for that," Brian replied sincerely.

"Me too," Gus said from the back seat.

"Your moms are just worried about you going off on your own … well, technically with me," Brian corrected himself. "They're afraid you're growing up."

"Well, I am."

"I know you are, Sonny Boy, but your mothers aren't quite ready to face that fact…yet."

"Do you think they ever will be?" Gus sighed.

"We can only hope," Brian said looking back at his children. They both would grow up. There was nothing he could do to stop it, no matter how much he might want them to stay the way they were.

"Not you too, Dad," Gus said.

"Me too what?" Brian asked.

"I saw that wistful look. You don't want me to grow up either."

"I think all parents want to be able to protect and cherish their children," Justin added before Brian could say anything. "They hate to see them go out and face the big, bad world on their own."

"Yeah, what he said," Brian stated with a smirk. Justin could always say those kinds of things so much better than he could. "I want you to grow up and be the best person you can be."

Justin smiled remembering a similar speech that Brian had given to him many years before.

"Thanks, Dad, that's what I want too," Gus said.

They rode in silence after that, until Justin pulled into the parking garage at the airport. Brian had told him that he could drop them off curbside, but Justin knew that Brian would want to say goodbye to Bree, and he could hardly do that in the few seconds you had before one of the guards told you to move along.

Brian carried Bree, and Justin and Gus pulled the suitcases as they made their way into the terminal. Brian checked them in and they walked towards the security area.

"I guess we have to leave you here," Brian said as they saw the line for security up ahead.

"Have fun, you two," Justin said giving Gus a hug.

"We will," Gus replied with a grin. "And thanks for driving us, Justin."

"No problem."

Brian was whispering to Bree who giggled and then kissed her dada's cheek. "I'll be back in four get-ups," Brian told her as he handed her to Justin. "I'll miss you," Brian said to Justin. "We've hardly been apart the last few years."

"I know," Justin smiled. "I'll miss you too. Call me every night."

"I will," Brian said. He kissed Justin's cheek not caring what anybody thought.

"I'll see he doesn't get into any trouble, Justin," Gus smirked with a look so much like his father's.

"I'm counting on you, Gus."

Brian snorted as they moved up in the line. Justin was walking along on the outside of the corded barrier. All too soon they were going through the X-ray machine. Gus and Brian turned and waved to Bree and Justin who stood outside the restricted area.

"Let's get this vacation under way," Brian said as he claimed his wallet, watch and change from the X-ray bin.

"Yeah, I'm ready," Gus smiled.

"Me too," Brian said as he slung his arm over his son's shoulder and they headed to their gate.

^^^^^^^^

Brian and Gus took a cab into the city from LaGuardia Airport. Brian had made reservations at a hotel downtown, within walking distance from Greenwich Village. They settled into their room then decided to walk to one of Brian's favorite restaurants, a German restaurant on E. 20th in the Chelsea section of town. As they strolled the Manhattan streets, Gus took pictures of everything.

"Pop! Look at all these old buildings and they're smack in the middle of skyscrapers!" Gus, like the rest of the world, became fascinated by the juxtaposition of the modern buildings next to the old.

"Your Uncle John would have a field day here," Brian remarked. He also found New York fascinating.

"Has he ever been here?"

"I think he and Gordon worked on some skyscrapers when they were first starting out. I remember Claire telling me they both walked the high steel. Whatever that means."

"It means they were up there! Wow!" Gus pointed to a building under construction. On the uppermost steel beams, looking like acrobats walking a tightrope, were the construction workers.

"Hey, Earth to Gus. You in there?" Brian gently thumped Gus' head.

"Sorry, Pop, but that's cool."

"It certainly is but it's making me dizzy. Come on, the restaurant is down here." They walked along Park Avenue to E. 20th, then up to the restaurant.

The restaurant's menu was traditional German fare served family style. It was a hearty cuisine and plenty of it. Brian went for the venison while Gus braved the sauerbraten. The beer menu boasted more than one hundred different beers. Brian selected a Belgian beer that was brewed like wine from fruit. It was aromatic with the scent of raspberries and rosy pink in color. Gus gave his father a very weird look as the waiter uncorked the bottle and poured the beer into a large goblet.

"What?" Brian glared at Gus. Gus leaned in so he would not be overheard.

"Dad, pink beer? How gay is that?" They both looked down at Brian's glass then hazel eyes met hazel eyes. Father and son burst into laughter.

As they ate, Gus became rather pensive. He welcomed this time with his dad; it wasn't often that is was only the two of them.

"Pop, can I ask you something?" Brian took a deep breath. He was dreading a birds and the bees type of topic.

"Shoot."

"You told me that you knew you were gay when you were about my age, right?"

"Yes."

"But what about Mom? You love her, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. I love your mother a lot."

"You knew her in college."

"Yes."

"Um, did you and Mom, a..."

Brian closed his eyes then scrubbed at them. This parenting thing and leading 'an alternative lifestyle' sucked at times. "Gus, your mom and I were kids when we met. Barely out of our teens. She was so beautiful, still is. Tall, elegant, stately, so smart and so talented. I was a bad Irish kid from the wrong side of the tracks, working my ass off trying to finish college. I guess opposites do attract. I had the prettiest girl at Penn; she had a popular jock. We thought we were in love. It was easy pretending to be straight, easier for the both of us. And we wanted to fit in. When we confessed to each other how we really felt we decided to stay friends. Close friends."

Gus thought about what his dad said. "You and Mom were, um, physical?" Brian nodded. "How was it?"

"Gus! A gentleman never tells." Brian was about to admonish his son for even asking such a question.

"No! Eiw, Dad, I don't want details. I want to know how can a gay guy be with a woman?"

"Believe it or not, Gus, being gay does not mean I can't 'be' with a woman. I just prefer 'being' with men. Your mom was one hot momma. And it was nice. She was sweet and loving. It was nice."

"And with Justin?" Brian faded off for a moment. How could he ever explain how it was with him and Justin?

"Explosions. Every time, like explosions." Brian shuddered at the thought.

"Dad, you and Mom..."

"Sonny Boy, I love your mother and I'd do just about anything for her. I'll always take care of her. I promise." Gus nodded and took a few more bites of his dinner. "Gus, let me ask you something? Why all these questions about me and your mom? Did something happen? Did someone say something to you?"

"No, nothing like that, but I wanted to know about guys who like guys and liking girls too."

"Gus, what are you getting at?"

Gus leaned in again so he could whisper. "You know I told you that I like girls."

"We've established that with your crush on Lacy."

"But did I like Lacy cause she was a girl? Or because she's a girl who looks a lot like a guy?" Brian groaned. A birds and the bees talk would be a hell of a lot easier than a birds and birds talk.

"Are you trying to say that you think you're gay or at least bi-curious?"

"What I'm saying is I'm not so sure anymore."

"What changed?"

"I went to visit Lacy at the diner and some guys must have thought I was you. I guess from the back we look a lot alike. Anyway, Grandma Debbie set them straight but they must have thought I was gay. Do I look gay?"

"I don't know. Do I look gay? Don't answer that. Gus, do we have to determine your sexual orientation tonight? I mean right now." Gus had to laugh. He had succeeded in making his dad, the great Brian Kinney, flustered.

"No, Pop, we don't. And I'm sorry."

"Sorry is bullshit. Gus. There are no concrete answers here. Maybe if our lives took a different turn, gay or not, maybe Linds and I would have gotten married. I know I love her enough to have tried to make that work. And maybe you'll turn out to be bisexual. I don't care. All I know is that you're my son and I love you. And I'll always try to be there for you. You're only a phone call away, anytime, Sonny Boy."

"Thanks, Pop, and I love you too." Gus leaned over again to hug his dad. After they broke off their hug, Brian ordered dessert.

"They make a mean apple strudel, want to share one?"

"With ice cream?" Gus' eyes lit up like a little boy.

"Can't have it any other way." Father and son shared dessert.

*****

"Hey, Sunshine."

"Hey. How's New York?"

"Big, noisy, beautiful. How are you and the Squirt?"

"Missing you, but we're fine."

"Four wake-ups, Sunshine."

"I remember."

"You in bed?"

"In the studio. Sidney called with an idea for a new show. He wants me to do a study of some of the old masters but with a modern twist."

"Do you think those masters will get pissed that you're messing with their pictures."

"No, asshole, artists do studies all the time. He just wants my take on things."

"Justin Taylor taking on Monet or is it Manet? Just as long as it isn't Van Gogh. I love your cute ears. And definitely not Lautrec, you're short enough."

"Tell me again why I agreed to marry you?"

"Because of my devastating good looks and my modesty."

"Ah, how could that have slipped my mind?"

"Not a clue. I have to say good night, Justin. We're meeting up with Simon and Ken and their boys tomorrow."

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too, Sunshine. Don't work too hard. Kiss the Squirt for me."

"I will. Night, Brian."

"Night, Jus."