Chapter 11

Saturday morning, the kids were still asleep and the adults took full advantage of the 'grown up' time alone. When John and Bobby and Brian and Justin finally emerged from their respective bedrooms, they broke out into giggles. All four men shared the same 'well fucked' look and they were all extremely relaxed. Cynthia had made Brian promise to take the day off from N'rgy. Brian needed to recharge the creative juices, so to speak and spending the time with his family was just what the doctor ordered. Ted and Cynthia were planning to put in a half day at N'rgy going over the other ad proposals. The art department at Kinnetik had the preliminary mocks up all done awaiting Brian's approval and that could wait until Monday.

"What's the plan for today?" Brian asked, scanning the faces of his family, rubbing his hands together.

"You mean after the kids wake up?" Bobby snickered. The kids were still asleep but their hungry stomachs would soon get them up.

"Yeesss, after the kids wake up," Brian snarked as he rolled his eyes.

"We can go to the park," suggested Justin.

"Didn't you get enough of the goats the other day?" John asked as he hung up the phone with room service. If they were going to have a lazy day then they might as well go all the way and let the food come to them.

"Maybe, but Patrick hasn't seen them," Justin added.

"I haven't seen them either," Bobby contributed.

"Oh for fuck's sake! You people grew up in a farming town. Didn't you have enough of all of that?" Brian couldn't believe that they all had left the wilds of the Pennsylvania countryside only to come to the big city in search of goats.

"He does have a point and it is kind of cloudy out," John agreed. Brian relaxed a bit. He wasn't in the mood for goats. "I know! I haven't been to the Bronx Zoo in decades. They have many indoor exhibits and I'm sure we can pick up umbrellas at the gift shop, if it's going to rain. The kids will love it."

Brian let out a pained moan and they all laughed. "What's the matter, Brian, afraid of an ittie bittie goat?" John goaded his brother.

"You can be replaced, you know," Brian growled.

"I don't think so," John growled back. "You'll feel better after you have your coffee." A knock on the door signaled their breakfast had arrived. John signed the check as Justin and Bobby woke up the children. Brian arranged the food on the table.

*****

"Tell me again why I agreed to this?" Brian pleaded to John. John was maneuvering the 'beast' through the streets of Manhattan heading toward the Bronx. The kids were strapped in the back with Justin and Bobby squeezed in. Patrick was bigger and didn't require a child seat but he was strapped in next to his dad. Bree was regaling her cousin regarding the feeding of the baby goats and lambs and about the importance of sharing.

"Brian, stop whining. The kids will have a grand time. You enjoyed yourself when you went to the zoo with Gus, didn't you?" Brian had to agree. He did have a great time with Gus. Brian knew he'd have just as good a time with Bree and Justin. Briana and Patrick would love the exhibits. He just wanted to razz his brother a bit.

"Are we there yet?" Brian whined then Justin reached over to bop him on the head.

*****

The Bronx Zoo is huge so Bree had little trouble convincing her Dada to take the zoo train once around the whole park. However, Patrick took a lot of cajoling and begging from Bree to get him on the Sky Tram. He held onto John as their car ascended high above the zoo. By the end of the trip, Patrick was begging his dads to let them take the return trip. The weather was cooperating so they were able to walk through the African section and the Asian section. They especially enjoyed the Rain Forest exhibit. They all stood in awe watching the huge but graceful black panthers resting on their tree branches.

"Now they have the right idea," Brian mumbled as one panther yawned widely, stretched then went back to sleep on his branch. Brian stood in his own silent reverie, admiring the large sleek black cats. He imagined taut muscles under the soft black fur.

"Dada! Come, Dada, see the pond with me!"

"Okay Squirt, whatever you say." Brian took Bree's outstretched hand to let her lead him to the pond.

Up close and personal, Bree and Brian gazed into a pond. The pond was surrounded by thick observation glass allowing the observer an unobstructed view.

There were large fresh water Amazon fish, turtles, brightly colored birds flying around and hopping on the branches.

"Dada, look, frogs!" Briana pointed to a row of about four frogs all piggy backed together. To Brian the frogs reminded him of an orgy he had attended, a daisy chain of hot men all linked together.

"Dada?" Bree grew up with frogs but she had never witnessed frogs acting this way. "Dada? What are the frogs doing?" Each frog appeared to be humping the frog preceding it. Several parents who were admiring the same exhibit with their kids, turned, waiting for Brian's response.

"Um, I, er..." Brian was barely able to handle the sex talk with Gus. There was no way he was going to be able to explain humping frogs to a three year old. "Bree, I think I hear your daddy calling. Let's go find him." Brian picked up the curious little girl and quickly walked away from the pond and its frogs.

"Bye, froggies," Bree waved, as the frogs faded from her sight.

"Brian?" Justin watched as Brian made a beeline out of the Rain Forest Pavilion and out into the air. Justin quickly followed.

"Bri, are you okay?" There was a thin sheen of sweat on Brian's brow.

"Fine," Brian snapped as he handed over Bree to Justin.

"You don't look fine," Justin observed.

"Promise me one thing, Sunshine."

"Anything."

"When Briana is old enough for 'the talk,' promise me that you'll be the one to give it."

"Sure, Bri," Justin blinked at Brian and then at Bree who blinked back with a matching bewildered look. Brian shook his head and went off in search of a snack stand. He was in desperate need of water.

Once the "frog" incident was behind them they had a good day at the zoo. They got snacks for the kids when they were hungry, having had a late breakfast. Finally Bree fell asleep in her stroller and they decided it was time to leave.

Bobby wanted to stop by Kinnetik N'rgy and see what the new digs looked like. John was happy to do that, being proud of all he had accomplished in the few days they had been there.

Brian phoned Simon to see if it would be all right to stop by their place for a few minutes, since they were going to be in the building. Simon was happy to hear from them and said he would love to see Bobby and Patrick again. John maneuvered the SUV through traffic and pulled it up safely in front of the brownstone.

Bobby got out and looked at the façade. "Very nice," he said.

"You don't think it's too staid and old fashioned?" Brian had to ask.

"No, I think it's tasteful and out of the ordinary. I like that you didn't go the highrise route."

"Thank you, brother-in-law. I'm glad someone feels that way."

"We all do, Brian," Justin added.

"Yeah, I guess the young whippersnappers that I'm trying to work with for these video games are giving me a complex."

"A complex?" Bobby asked.

"They make me feel old," Brian whispered to him.

"Bite your tongue," Bobby reacted. "They should be horse whipped until they see the error of their thinking."

Brian laughed. "You always know how to make me feel better, Big Red."

"Any time, Brian."

"Uncle Bri, I want to see your new office," Patrick said.

"Sure thing, Little Red. You can see all the work your Dad has accomplished already."

"Good," Patrick said as Brian used his key to let them in.

Simon came out of his office when he heard the voices in the foyer. "There's some of my favorite people," he laughed as he gave hugs all around.

"Unca Simon, Unca Simon," Bree called from down below while she tugged on his pant leg. She always got left out because she was short.

"Hey there, little missy, how's my favorite girl?" he asked picking her up and giving her a big smooch on the cheek.

"Good," she giggled.

"How would you like to come upstairs with me? I think Uncle Ken has a cookie with your name on it."

"Yay, cookie!" she responded clapping her hands.

"Anyone else who wants a cookie, follow me." He started up the stairs carrying Bree. Justin followed behind while the others went into Brian's new office.

When they got upstairs the apartment was filled with the delicious scents of cooking and baking.

"I have warm cookies right out of the oven," Ken declared as he hugged Justin and gave Bree's cheek a little tickle.

"I hope you didn't make these specially for us," Justin said.

"I'm good, but not that good," he laughed. "You only called twenty minutes ago. I was right in the middle of a batch when Simon told me you were coming. However, I did pull out enough chicken for all of you to stay for dinner."

"Oh, we didn't mean to impose. We can eat at a restaurant," Justin said quickly.

"Pshaw, you'll eat here with us, and you'll enjoy it," Ken laughed.

"I always enjoy your cooking," Justin admitted. "Thanks for inviting us. We're a pretty big group."

"We'll manage just fine. We don't get that many chances to see all of you, so we're doing this." Ken nodded emphatically and Justin felt he couldn't refuse. "Boys," he called up the stairs. "Cookies!"

There was a great clatter and thumping as Ray and Jeff came barreling down the stairs and slid to a stop at the counter.

"Hi Justin, hi Bree," they said as they grabbed stacks of cookies.

"Hey, save some for our guests," Simon told them.

They handed a cookie to Bree.

"Bree, want to come up to the roof with us?" Jeff asked.

"Yes," Bree said her mouth full of cookie.

"Patrick's here too," Ken said. "They're looking at the new office."

"Send him up too," Ray called as he and Jeff took Bree up the steps.

"Only one cookie for Bree," Justin called.

"I wouldn't count on that," Simon laughed. "She can be very persuasive and the boys are a pushover."

Justin groaned. "I guess this one time won't hurt."

"Coffee's ready," Ken said as he poured a mug for each of them and then started another pot for when the others came up.

Justin picked at his cookie and sipped his coffee. The two men looked at him knowing something was wrong when the usually talkative Justin was silent and the usually hungry Justin was picking at his food.

"What's wrong, Justin?" Ken asked. He cocked his head at Simon indicating that he should leave.

Simon got the point and said, "I'm going to go down and check on the others. I'll tell them that coffee's on." He beat a hasty retreat.

"Okay, Justin, tell me what's going on," Ken instructed.

"I feel so stupid talking about this. Brian said it was all right."

"Obviously whatever it is is still bothering you. Tell me and you'll probably feel better."

Justin couldn't stop himself. It all came tumbling out about Henry Higgins and going to the pub and getting drunk and almost letting Henry kiss him and what Brian said about tricking and how bad he felt about the whole thing.

"My, my, you have been a busy boy since you arrived in the Big Apple," Ken said patting Justin's hand.

"I just feel so awful. Brian was great about it, but I don't really agree with what he said about us being gay men and fucking happens. I love Brian. I don't understand why I was attracted to Henry. It's Brian that I want, but I also wanted Henry. I'm so fucked up." Justin shook his head dejectedly.

"You're not fucked up at all."

"How do you know?" Justin asked looking up into Ken's eyes.

"Remember when we visited you and you introduced us to all your friends and family?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I had the same kind of feelings about one of them that you had for Henry."

"You did? For who?"

"I shouldn't probably tell you, but what the hey! It was Drew, Emmett's delicious man. God, he made me hard just looking at him. Of course, I was luckier than you. He didn't even notice that I was there. And I would never have acted on the impulse anyway. But it didn't stop me from thinking about it," Ken said with a wistful look in his eye. "A girl can dream, can't she?" he laughed. Besides, I like Emmett way too much to try something like that. And I respect what Simon and I have. I wouldn't risk ruining that for anyone or anything. But I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we can have the kind of feelings you're talking about, that animal attraction, that lust for someone else. But that doesn't mean we have to act on it."

"Yeah, I guess so, but Brian sort of gave me permission to act on it," Justin said with a frown.

"Do you think that means he wants you to?"

"No, no, I don't think so. But it bothered me that he said it at all. I really think it would ruin what we have."

"I tend to agree with you. Are you thinking that maybe Brian has been tricking and that's why he said that? Sort of excusing himself?"

"You know, strangely enough, I don't think that's the case. I know Brian is faithful. When he commits to something, he really means it. You should see all the offers he turns down."

"I can only imagine," Ken laughed. "But then, what's the problem? Are you worrying over the fact that you didn't immediately turn down this Henry chap?"

"Yeah, I should have known better."

"Don't you get lots of offers too?"

"Yeah, but not as many as Brian."

"So, why is this time different?"

"Because I wanted to go with Henry? I almost did."

"Would you go with him now if he asked you again?"

"God, no!"

"So what's the problem?"

"Um … nothing I guess." Justin frowned mulling over what Ken had just asked.

"Justin, you're feeling guilty, and you have no reason. Nothing happened. This Henry seems to have taken you by surprise, and your resistance was low."

"You called him 'this Henry'. That's what my mother used to call Brian."

"This Henry?"

"No, 'this Brian'," Justin giggled. "Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I feel better."

"Good. Tell me more about what your mother thought of 'this Brian'?"

"Knock, knock," Simon called from the doorway. "I come bearing friends and this little one." He had Patrick slung over his shoulder and was tickling the boy's side. Patrick was giggling uncontrollably.

"Put him down, you big bully. Let the poor boy have a cookie," Ken instructed.

Simon obliged and Ken got up to pour more coffee for everyone.

Justin watched the interaction between the two men. He did feel better having talked to Ken. Ken and Simon had the kind of relationship that Justin liked to think that he and Brian shared. It was good to know that Ken felt the same way Justin had … and about Drew too. Justin had to smile at that. Drew was one good looking man, but he had nothing on Brian, that was for sure. Justin looked at Brian who was putting sugar in his coffee. God, he loved that man.

Justin made his final decision. It was all right to look at other men, but for Ken and Simon and Justin, it wouldn't be okay to touch. Justin understood that now. And in spite of Brian's words, he thought Brian felt that way too. He had new understanding about how he had handled Henry's advances, and he wouldn't make that mistake again … should the occasion ever arise.

"Were they all duly impressed with your new office?" Justin asked moving over to where Brian stood by the counter. He took his place beside his man and let their shoulders bump together gently.

"Yeah, I think everything's going to be fine. John has worked miracles, and Ken's artwork and my new slogan are going to knock the socks off these young upstarts."

"You knock my socks off every day," Justin chuckled.

"Ditto," Brian smirked.

"Ken wants us all to stay for dinner and he wouldn't take no for an answer," Justin told him.

"Maybe we should run down to that bakery and get some of those cupcakes for dessert. Will that place still be open?" Brian asked Ken.

"I think so. The pickings might be a little slim by this time of day, but that would be great. I have ice cream and cookies for dessert, but ice cream and cupcakes would be even better."

"Want to go for a walk with me, Sunshine?"

"I'd go anywhere with you, Brian."

"Me too."

Brian took Justin's hand and everyone in the apartment watched them walk out together. They all knew something significant had just happened, but Ken was the only one who fully understood what it was.