It was midnight, and Justin was turning restlessly in bed. He knew he would not be getting any sleep tonight and who knows until when.

He turned back to face Brian's side and ran his hand on the cold, empty space. His chest tightened as a cold shivering fear had blanketed around it. The fear intensified as he thought of losing the man that should have been lying there next to him, the man who loved to sleep with his nose up Justin's neck all night long.

Justin couldn't stop the tears from flowing again. He knew this would happen, sooner or later, Brian would hate him not just because he lied about their past, but also how they parted the last time they see each other before Brian's accident.

Being alone seemed to be inevitable for him. It was sad to think that when Brian had become the man that Justin always knew he was, when they were really having a life together and committed to each other, everything would slip away from him just like those dreams that he always had at night. The dreams where he and Brian were so blissfully content with their lives, but at the end of the night, he'd wake up to face reality and his empty apartment-- all alone.

He glanced at the digital clock and it read 1:26 am. This was the first time they had slept away from each other since they first got together and it's killing him inside.

Few minutes after, he wiped his face and bravely took his phone from his night stand. He was hoping against hope that Brian would send him another message, but when he checked-- he had not. The last message that Brian sent was about eight thirty that same evening saying, “I need some time away.”

That message confirmed his biggest fear, that somehow, somewhere, earlier that day, Brian had learned about Justin and his piles of lies. He had learned how his legal partner had been nothing but a liar and deceiver, just like Michael and Debbie.

Justin stood up and went to his studio. He was there when he couldn't calm himself after talking to Seth earlier that day. He spent the rest of the evening there hoping Brian would come home and talk to him. But when his phone vibrated in the evening, Brian wanted to do the opposite.

He could not blame his partner, though. He could not fathom how he would react to this sick joke if it was done to him. And so, Justin just painted something that depicted his turmoil.

He contemplated getting something to eat, he hadn't eaten since that morning with Brian. He and Seth hadn't touched their lunch that afternoon as Justin was bursting out his predicament.

That time though, he felt like his gut would turned out just for the mere thoughts of putting something in it. In the end, he decided to just continue to work on the painting that he had started earlier.

He prayed that when everything was all said and done, he hoped to God that Brian would find a way to forgive him. 

His hands started cramping after few hours of non-stop painting, and when he checked the wall clock in his studio, he was surprised to see that it was already quarter before six.

He quickly washed his brushes and tidy the room up a little bit, then he did the same with their bedroom and took a shower after. Justin was thinking how he would miss living in this house with Brian, the memories they shared in each nooks and crannies, the laughters with Gus that seemed filled the big house, and the promises they said to each other-- it would all fade away together with the love that Brian had once given to him.

Justin tried to ignore the fact that he was stalling for time and wishing with every bones in his body that his partner would come home and drive him to his work like he always did every single morning.

But when the clock hits 6:45, his hope had crashed down on him. He left their house with heavy heart.

Seth was on him the second Justin came inside the door. He was looking over Justin's shoulder expecting his ever present partner to be following behind. But when no Brian had come in, Seth looked at the distraught face of his friend who only shook his head confirming that Brian wasn't with him.

“What happened?”

Justin shrugged his shoulders and said, “I honestly don't know. He didn't come home all afternoon and just texted me in the evening that he needed time away. No explanation, but I guess, we both know what could have happened yesterday that made him run away from me.”

“Someone has told him. He found out from someone.” Seth said frowning.

“Most likely.” Justin said sorrowfully.

“What are you going to do?”

Justin shrugged again, “I guess, I just have to wait for Brian to come home. Or maybe he will message me in my phone, at least. He'd tell me whatever he decides, wouldn't he?” Justin sounded like he was seventeen, and Seth couldn't help but hug his friend.

“Of course, Justin. Brian will not just abandoned you. You two are legally partners. God, I hope it wouldn't get to the point where you have to dissolve it.”

“Highly unlikely.” Justin sadly said.

“Hey, why don't you go home and take some more rest. I'm guessing you didn't even have a blink of sleep last night.”

“No, I need to be occupied, Seth. I can't sit all day waiting for Brian to come home, I'll wear the carpet down.”

Seth nodded, but he kept an eye on his friend. It looked like a simple blow could knock Justin down.

Justin had it going for a couple of hours until his hands had badly shaken. Seth insisted then, saying he really needed to sleep. He was relieved when Justin didn't put any resistance to it, and Seth called a cab for him.

Seth was actually worried for both Brian and Justin. They must've been hurting so much, because no one could hurt you more than the one person you loved the most. Seth was afraid to think what would happen to his friends if they couldn't fix this problem they had.

***

Brian stretched his long, lean body like a panther waking up from his slumber. The thing was, Brian didn't sleep the whole night he was lying in his bed at the loft. His mind was elsewhere and he knew deep inside that his body sought for the warmth that he was used to lying with every night. The warmth that his partner exuded beside him.

Partner. Yeah, Justin was his partner, and he was apparently the only partner he had in his entire life. All the lies and bullshit that Michael had been sprouting at him since he woke up from his coma, was nothing but a deceitful and selfish way to get what Michael had always wanted.

Brian didn't know how he was fooled by Michael for so long and no one had known about it. Surely his other friends wouldn't just stand there letting the mother and son duo playing with his head, would they? He could understand why Debbie supported Michael's madness but it didn't mean he was just letting that go just like that.

And that was what he couldn't get about Justin. He was just letting Michael and Debbie stepped on his head, and Brian didn't know why. And that made him question everything that he shared with Justin.

But if he was being honest, there was nothing fake about Justin's feelings for him, he was so sure about that, he could definitely feel it. And for the three months that they shared, he could easily say that Justin had no mean bones in his body, and he was one of the most genuine person he had the pleasure of meeting.

The biggest question was, what made his partner keep this kind of important information from him? Brian wanted an answer, he wanted Justin to tell him why he felt the need to hide their past relationship.

Listening to Ben, he got that their past relationship wasn't really ideal. He had hurt Justin in a way he wouldn't give him the love and attention that he deserved. Instead he treated him like a fuck buddy who was a convenient to fuck whenever he fancied to. 

Justin was so young and somehow still had this fantasy about romance and boyfriend, picnics and flowers, and Brian didn't give him any of that. Until Justin sought those things from someone else and apparently cheated on him. 

When Brian still hadn't caved to verbalize his feelings for Justin, the blond chose to left him for someone else. And Ben told him, before he left to Tibet, Brian and Justin had already broken up for two months. Almost a month after Ben’s departure, Brian had his accident. So, most probably, Justin was still with the guy when Brian had his amnesia.

But then, Justin had seemed to isolate himself from the gang, tried to have a life away from his Liberty Avenue family. Ben had confirmed that Justin quit his job at the diner just a day after their breakup, and Justin was never seen at Liberty Avenue before Ben went to Tibet.

Brian was sure he never came to visit him at the hospital, surely he would remember a face like that even if he was in dazed. Justin must've heard about his accident, but as far as he was concerned, Justin never came to see him. 

So, it seemed like there was this big hole in the center of all things concerning Justin. Brian knew that there was missing pieces of this tangled mess that they were in, and that was what made his partner to choose to act like they hadn't met before.

But they were together for nearly two years, and according to Ben, Justin was living with him for almost a year before they broke up. And Justin should have told him that the morning they first met.

Ben had actually helped him clear some things that didn't make sense before, like how he never really felt any romantic feelings for Michael even after trying so hard to do it. Ben had also made him feel like the douche, narcissistic and heartless asshole that his friends had always called him. 

He couldn't believe how he was treating Justin before, and despite all that, his partner had endured being with Brian for almost two years. For him, it was already a testament that Justin must've really loved him that much. 

That knowledge actually had been one of the reasons he couldn't face his partner the previous day, and Brian was really hurt from what he learned about the deceit and lies from the people that he loved.

When they arrived at Ben’s apartment, he started telling him about himself as he lead them to his kitchen that resembled Justin's apartment before, but Ben had actually owned a dining table.

“I'm a professor at Carnegie Mellon before I decided to go to Tibet and joined a group to study the life in there. I met Michael in his comic book store when I was looking for something that could help me in my class. He just opened the store, he had bought it from the previous owner and all thanks to you.” Ben said while filling the carafe to make coffee. He sat in front of Brian while waiting for it to finish.

“What do you mean?”

“You see, Michael was dating a chiropractor before he met me. I don't really know much about that time, but I think you pushed Michael off of the Kinney cliff the night of his 30th birthday party at the loft that you actually arranged and paid for. You gifted him that night with a classic first issue of Captain Astro before it all went south.

“You two had a falling out-- I heard from Emmett that it was actually Debbie's idea that you let Michael off of your clutch to give him the chance to be happy with someone else. So he decided to go with the guy to Portland when he asked Michael to go with him.” Ben was suddenly looking at him with worried eyes.

“But before he could get on the plane, you called him from the hospital where Justin was brought for some serious incident making Michael missed the flight. But he still went later on, though, it didn't really take him long to come back and broke up with the chiropractor. 

“So, when he came back, he was out of job and his mother was bugging him to find one. But you gave him an idea using the gift you gave him on his birthday. You sold the rare comic issue on eBay to the highest bidder and Michael used the money to buy the store.”

Ben stood up as the coffee finished gurgling and poured the black liquid into two cups. Ben sat down again after giving Brian the other cup.

“That was the time Michael and I started dating, which didn't make Debbie happy and I guess it made you and your other friends uncomfortable, too.”

Brian frowned at that, Ben was a good guy for what he could tell from the last hour they have been talking, he was a college professor so why wouldn't they want him for Michael?

“I know what you are thinking, Brian. But Debbie and all of you had the right to worry. You see, I'm HIV positive. So…”

“But you are always safe, right? We don't have the right to judge anyone, but Debbie must be thinking about Vic.”

Ben nodded his head understandingly.

“Yeah. Anyway, we were together for over five months before I decided that I didn't want to be a placeholder. After over three months of dating Michael, you and Justin broke up, and the couple of months that I stayed after that, Michael felt like he was a single man like you.

“He was in love with you, Brian. I mean, I guess I have known it since the beginning of our relationship, but I thought it was something more to do with you than it was of Michael. He couldn't seem to get over you. And I cannot be with someone that's in love with someone else while sharing the bed with me.”

“Ben, was I giving him reasons why he seemed to latch on to the hope of us being together?” Brian really wanted to know what's Ben take on this.

“Honestly, I think at the beginning of your friendship, you were intentionally giving him crumbs just for you to have a hold on him. I think it came from the fear of losing what you have been used to than any other else. But it was mostly before Justin, because when I met all of you, I don't see that anymore and you've been with Justin for over a year before I came to the scene. I have that information from the snide remarks around the dinner table, not from an actual visual evidence from you. You didn't want to admit that before, but you were head over heels for Justin.”

“I still am.” Brian whispered.

Ben smiled, “Yeah. I guess you still are. If you had your accident on the last week of August, I wouldn't have known that because I left the first week of the same month. But you know, Michael tried to contact me after a year I left, I was in Thailand already that time and had an access to internet. We exchanged emails once in few months, but he never mentioned you or your accident. I just actually came back a month ago, a little earlier than I have originally planned. I'm going back to teach at Carnegie.”

“It's great Ben. I think your travel has helped you a lot.” Brian really liked the man, Michael was stupid letting this one go. Not that Brian wanted him for himself, no he didn't, his heart only belongs to only one man-- Justin. It seemed that Justin had always had his heart from then until now.

“It did, massively. Justin was actually interested learning about my trip, you know. He saw the pamphlet on my table when he was there waiting for Michael in my apartment before. They made this comic about a gay superhero, Michael write the story and Justin illustrated it. You know, Rage?” Ben waited to see if Brian had any idea. But Brian shook his head. 

“Well, Rage was a hit. Anyway, he was at my apartment waiting for Michael, and he saw it, asked me about it and we got to talking until Michael finally arrived. Then he always want to talk about it with me whenever we had the chance of talking. It came to a point where it wouldn't surprise me if Justin would suddenly say he wanted to come and join the trip. I was still undecided that time, but leaning towards going.”

Brian still wasn't saying anything.

“Honestly, Brian, I think Justin was so confused and somewhat hurt from the things that was happening to you and him. That was towards the end of your relationship, I guess he was tired or had already given up on you loving him the way he wanted you to. 

“You see, you weren't the easiest man to live with, or to love and share your life with. Justin was so young, he was only seventeen when he first met you and you were his first for almost everything. I wasn't there, but I heard that at the beginning, Justin was just happy to get any attention from you. You had him at your mercy, fucked him whenever you fancied him, but kept him in an arms length.

“But the kid was brave enough to out himself to his father who threw him out, they said you let him stay at the loft but I guess you weren't just used to share your place with anyone. Because when the loft was ransacked by burglars, you threw him out without batting an eyelash. If it wasn't for Justin's friend, I never met her--”

“Daphne.”

Ben nodded. “Yeah, yeah, Daphne. If it wasn't for her, who knows what had happened to Justin traveling alone with no definite plans and destination. She came to tell you that Justin went to New York to be a go-go dancer. Then it was Debbie who insisted that you must go and retrieved Justin from doing something stupid. You found him and let Debbie take him and that's where he lived for few months.

“When I joined your circle, I remember thinking how could Justin take everything, I thought that he must have really loved you to agree to the kind of relationship you two had. You see, you two weren't monogamous and you were tricking right under Justin's nose. I could see that he really wasn't into it but he didn't have a choice if he wanted to be with you. 

“But it was his first relationship and still a teenager, and deep inside, teenagers wanted romance, flowers and dates. But you didn't want any of that, refused to give in even for his birthday, which by the way same day as mine. The only birthday that I spent with you all. 

“Michael gave me a surprise party, while you gave Justin a hustler. I heard him discussing it with Mel and Linds, and I heard they brought him to a violin recital earlier as a gift to Justin. That's where he met Etha--” Ben tried to stop himself before saying it, but Brian had already get the gist of it. His blood ran cold through his veins. He couldn't believe what kind of life he had given Justin before.

“That was about the same time Justin and Michael had their comics printed. You were going to give them a launch at Babylon. Michael had already told you about what he saw one time on the street, it was Justin and Ethan kissing. He was furious, though, I told him not to interfere with you and Justin's relationship, but you know Michael, he didn't take my advice. Then at the launch, I don't know what happened at first but Justin was happy at one moment then he was looking distraught the next. In a blink of an eye the ‘guy’ was coming to meet him in the middle of the dance floor, then with one sad and resigned look at you, he went out with him.

“I heard later on about what really happened, the girls said, you asked them to call Justin to you but when he found you at the backroom, you were fucking yourself. He saw you having sex with Rage and maybe that was his last straw. He left that night and went to live with the guy, leaving the luxury of your place to something that you always call, a dump.

“Michael make it his mission then to bring you back to your old self, the ‘no regret, no apologies and no trick twice’ kind of Brian. And you two would conquer the clubs and parties all over Pittsburgh. Michael was spending all his extra time with you and when I called him out on that, he admitted that he'd always, always love you. That he'd be there whenever you needed him and that you'd come first from everyone else… Including me. That was the time I ended things with him.”

After that, Ben had taken a shoe box from his closet and handed it to Brian. When he opened, he saw it was full of pictures. He slowly went through it and few pictures had actually made his eyes a little weepy.

One picture in particular had him almost jumping to his truck and drove home to his heart. It was Justin carrying, by his estimation, a six months sleeping Gus in his arms. It was taken in Debbie's kitchen, and his kid was contentedly drooling on Justin's shoulder. His partner was holding Gus so gently and he was kissing his small head.

He looked at Ben as if asking for permission to take the picture with him. Ben though, reading him too well, nodded his head at him.

Brian left soon after that, promising he would meet Ben for a drink or two in near future. 

Brian was too distressed and agitated to go home, and so, he decided to just go to the loft and calm himself down.

When he arrived there, he sat at the sofa for quite sometime and actually been staring at the picture all that time. Then, a thought had crossed his mind. He quickly stood up and went to his closet.

He noticed he didn't have any pictures of him and Justin around the loft after his accident. It could be because he wasn't really a fan of displaying things like that, or Michael had actually hid some of it if he had one lying around before.

If Ben had a memory box, it wouldn't be impossible for him to have one, too, right?  And so he turned his closet upside down in hope to find something that resembles a box, but there weren't any hidden at the back or even at the top shelves. 

He sat in his bed frustratingly and tried to think. If he had something important he wanted to keep away from prying eyes, where would he keep it?

“Think, think, think.” He said loudly at the empty place.

“If I have a nosey friend like Michael, who had an access to the loft anytime, I would keep my box somewhere safe where no one knew. A secret place.”

So he trudged to all the sides of the loft that he thought could have a secret hiding place, he even tried checking under the sink and the wall behind his flat TV, but there was none. He noticed the sky was already dark and went to the bedroom to check the clock, it was already seven o'clock.

Then his eyes flickered to the platform bed and just stared at it for quite some time, something was nagging at the back of his head and he knew he was closed to finding something.

He crouched down at the side and ran his hand on the smooth wooden frame, he was actually feeling the surface of the bed for any signs of secret hiding place, but he sadly couldn't find any.

Then he stepped back down to the kitchen and took a bottle of water from the fridge. As he was twisting the cap, his eyes landed on the stairs to his bedroom. He drank the half of the bottle before trudging to the stairs and crouched down on the floor.

Then instinctively, almost like he knew all along, he just pull the two sides of the bottom stair and it slid forward effortlessly. And there it was, his secret hiding place, and he had found it. He found it with his version of memory box of his own, too. 

Taking it with him to the bed, Brian opened the lid with a shaky hands. There, he found a few things inside. Unlike Ben’s box that was just full of pictures, his had a variety of things.

First he took a rolled paper and checked it, it was a sketch of himself sleeping in bed with his dick hanging out. The signature at the bottom was, JTaylor 2000.

Brian stopped to admire the drawing and it almost made him feel like he was watching himself sleeping. He looked so peaceful and relaxed, his lips slightly curving into a smile, he must have still feeling the mind blowing orgasm that Justin had given him.

After few minutes of staring at it, he set the sketches on his side and trying to figure out what he was looking next. It was a reddish brown scarf with off white edges that felt stiffy to touch. He studied the color and it made him realize that it was actually a stain, a blood stain.

He quickly dropped the item to the box like it actually burned him. He recalled something Ben had told him earlier, he mentioned Justin was in a hospital for some serious incident. He knew he should've asked for some details, but he was just too agitated at that time and had lost focus on the matter that was deemed important.

He took it back and set it together with the rolled sketches. The next one in the box was some kind of a stress ball. Brian held it in his palm and squished it. He set it aside after a while.

Then he found an envelope addressed to Justin from PIFA. He opened it and read, it was an acceptance letter to the school. Other papers were attached and Brian was stunned to read that it was a receipt payments for few semesters at the said art school. It had his name in bold print and signed as the payer.

According to Ben, Justin had been thrown out by his father and he remembered Justin telling him once that his father moved his mother and sister to Syracuse or something.

Then why was Justin attending the community college instead of PIFA? Yeah, of course-- money. He was paying Justin's tuition up until he got into his accident and forgot everything. And it all came back to the mammoth question, “Why didn't Justin came to see him at the hospital and tell him about them?” Based on the last receipt, it was paid just two months before his accident and he was well aware that they weren't together at that time anymore.

He set those papers aside and took a couple of pictures from the box. The first picture was them together in a gallery or something, with Brian's arm placed possessively on Justin's chest while he was biting into the young man's ear. Justin was smiling happily and Brian felt the longing in his chest to have his partner in his arms.

The other picture was of a sleeping Justin on their bed, arms wrapped around the sleeping Gus on his chest. The picture was so surreal, it was an epitome of heaven on earth. Just looking at it, Brian felt his heart fluttered in his chest. It made him emotional looking at the two people who he loved the most lying in each other's arms peacefully.

He wiped his eyes and set the pictures together with the others on the bed, then he took the last piece of item inside the box. It was two tickets to Hawaii, both for him and Justin. But what made him so confused was the date of the departure written on the tickets, it was dated two days after his accident.

Why were they going to Hawaii when they weren't even together back then? It was impossible that they were back together. If not, Justin should've been the one on his side when he woke up from his coma, instead it was Michael who played the distressed wife to his sick husband. So, no, he was one hundred percent sure Justin was still with the other guy.

Brian started to feel the onset of an headache. This was too much for him to take in one day and despite the anger and hurt that he was feeling for Justin, he was still missing his partner, his heart, the man that he thought as his husband. 

He knew Justin must be worried sick about him but as much as he wanted to go home and be with him, he just couldn't. His mind was playing like a broken record, the voice saying, “How can you do this to me, Justin?” could be heard over and over again inside his head.

He wanted to think, he wanted to sink everything that he had learned that day into his head. And after learning the truth, what would this do to his already shattering relationship with the people he called his family? What effect this could have to the future that he was building with his partner? 

He was so terrified yet so furious. He just wanted this all to go away, so he'd be able to continue his life with Justin. But Justin hadn't yet to give him his side, and Brian was admittedly so frightened to know what else Justin had to say.

He glanced at the clock and found it was half past eight o'clock. He decided then to send Justin a message saying he wanted a time. He knew Justin would be up all night stressing about this, as Brian would be up all night stressing over it, too. But he needed to do this, he needed to be alone.

Justin would understand, he'd be perturbed but still respect what Brian wanted. That's one of the reasons he loved Justin, he knew when to be persistent but he also knew when to back off if needed.

Justin must've had an idea what was happening. His partner was instinctive and sensitive enough to feel that Brian had known the truth somehow. 

He collected the items and put it back inside the box and just placed it beside him in bed. Then he just lied there on the top of the duvet and looked up at the ceiling.

Now, everything about Justin being skittish, edgy and jumpy especially this past few weeks had made all sense to him. The sudden breakdown at the diner after Vic’s death and the uncharacteristic quietness that he knew something was bothering his partner.

Justin must've been dying to tell him about them, the guilt of keeping something so vital like this must be eating at his partner's conscience. He now knew why Justin insisted on the stipulation to their legal partnership, on why he was always ending their future decisions with Brian being the only one could break them up.

“Why didn't you just tell me the truth, Justin?” He whispered to the ceiling. “Why do you have to hurt me like this?”

It was blatantly obvious now that there was something that made him stop telling Brian about them. Something that even Brian knew would have the biggest impact to everything that had already been happening that day. And that realization made his gut tied in a knot, Brian was afraid to know and Justin was afraid to tell him.

He turned restlessly all night long and before he knew it, it was already six thirty. Brian had to literally grip on his front shirt to squelch the pain in his chest realizing Justin was going to work alone for the first time since they got together.

This wanting to be alone hadn't done anything positive as far as he was concerned. It instead only gave him a serious chest pain and lack of sleep.

Brian stood up and took a shower instead of wallowing some more. He decided to go to the office and be productive there at least. He could think of his next action later on, but now he needed to see what suit he had left at the loft that he could use that day. Thank god, he left a couple of them there.

Cynthia came into his office after Brian sat down for fifteen minutes, she had a cup of Starbucks coffee in hand when she came in. Brian could swear his heart had flown out to the roof of the building thinking who had brought the coffee for him. Cynthia had known Brian not having coffees anymore in the morning for few months now. So…

“Brian...” She started to say something but she noticed her boss was looking expectantly at the open door. “Brian?”

“What?” He asked flickering his eyes back to Cynthia.

“Are you expecting someone?” She asked looking back over her shoulder.

“What? Uh-- who gave the coffee?”

“Well, you were earlier than you used to be, looking deprived from sleep and caffeine, so… I bought one for you. Actually, it's the intern, but… you know.” She smiled sheepishly.

Brian felt a little disappointed, but he smiled at his assistant and thanked her for being thoughtful.

Cynthia nodded and stared at him like she was about to say something.

“You want to say something, tell me.” Brian prompted.

“Don't take this the wrong way, but, are you okay? You look like you haven't slept or eaten in awhile-- I mean, you did eat and sleep, right?”

Brian looked at her thoughtfully and shook his head. “No, I haven't. The last time I sleep was yesterday night with my partner and the last time I ate was yesterday's breakfast with him, too.”

Cynthia arched a perfectly lineup eyebrow but chose to remain silent. Brian stood up, walked to the door and closed it.

“Sit down, Cyn.” He asked politely, which his assistant did without words.

“I have some things to ask.” Brian started after he sat down.

“About?”

“Uh, about my-- ex-boyfriend? And you can call him by name, I'm okay with it.” Brian eyed her and he could see how the simple words puzzled her.

“Okay… what do you want to ask about Justin?”

Well, that confirmed it. Not that he didn't believe Ben yesterday, but a confirmation from another unbiased source could cement everything.

He cleared his throat and asked, “Just tell anything you know, the first time you heard about him from me-- just anything.”

Cynthia was looking more confused, but she was a wise woman and so, she just told Brian what she could remember about Justin.

“The first time I heard about his name was when a sophisticated woman came to you with a duffle bag, later on I heard you angrily mumbling about some stupid twat and equally stupid father. I asked what's the problem with the woman, you only answered, Justin Taylor.”

“That was his mother?”

“Yeah, I think so. I think Justin was thrown out of their house and was crashing with you. Many things happened, Brian, mostly weren't so great-- you resisted with all your might to get involved with him but in the end I guess you gave up and just let things go on. But not necessarily mean you stop tricking, drinking-- no boss. You also still fucking some clients here and outside Pittsburgh. In short, you were still you, but having a seventeen year old waiting at home every night. 

“Justin almost never call here, unlike Michael and Lindsay, Justin knew the words emergency and urgent. And when we talked, he was so polite and friendly. After awhile, he became someone that you always mentioned here and there-- like ‘oh, that food would make Justin drool all over the carpet’ or ‘get me that same application, Justin would love it for school projects’ or ‘Justin would know twenty different kinds of red, why are those idiots in art department know nothing?’

“I could see the difference in you, you know. It was so subtle, but it was there-- you loved him, Brian. You'd rather kill yourself than admit it to all especially Justin, but we know, well at least me, that you loved him.”

“Cynthia, did you know if I ever tell Justin that I loved him before?” This was killing Brian, putting back some pieces of puzzle about him and Justin were decidedly painful.

“Not really sure, but it's unlikely you would tell him that, Brian. You didn't even admit you were in a relationship. I think that was one of your problems, you know-- you were this stud who fucks whomever he liked. You do whatever you want and if someone got a problem with that, you'd say ‘fuck them’.”

Brian took a sip from the warm coffee, then said, “Did you know if we broken up before my accident?”

Cynthia furrowed her brows at that. “You weren't really open with your personal life, you know, but now that you mentioned it, I kind of think that you two might have broken up even months before your accident.”

Brian stared at her, focused on her every word.

“I told you about you mentioning Justin's name here and there, right?” She didn't wait for Brian to answer. “Months before your accident, roughly three months maybe, I noticed that you were more grumpy than ever and working long hours, like really long hours-- 80 hours a week long. I never had a call from Justin for a long time, but he really didn't call that much-- but you, you didn't mention his name in months. 

“Then I asked you once, I asked if Justin was doing okay. You blew out on me as if I asked if you murdered the pope. You told me to mind my own fucking business and your personal life was not something that I should be asking. You yelled and bit my head off, you demanded not to ask any questions regarding your life ever again and you made it a point to tell me that I should be minding my own life not the other's.”

Brian was gaping at Cynthia. He was really a grade A asshole.

“Brian, are you okay? I mean, did you remember anything?” Cynthia was worried.

Brian shook his head, “No, I haven't.”

“Why are you asking about Justin?”

He shrugged his shoulders and sipped his coffee again, which was cool by now.

“All I have was the version of Michael. I just want to know about your take on it.”

“Okay, I hope everything's right with you and your new boyfriend.” Cynthia smiled.

“We are trying and… I'm trying to be the best partner.” 

Cynthia looked sad in a split second, but she nodded at him and said, “You are a great man, Brian. Your partner is lucky to have you.”

“I'm the lucky one, you will understand after meeting him.” Yeah, whatever was happening to their lives right now, how much pain he was actually in, if given a chance to do his life over again, he'd still choose Justin to be ‘his heart’. He just really loved him so much.

And despite the hurt Justin's lying had cost him, it didn't mean he would just forget the good things his partner had done to him and his son.

He wasn't saying what Justin did was okay or that he would just forget about it, it honestly hurt him more than what the Novotny's made him feel and it was because he loved Justin so much that he couldn't fathom he could hide something so important to him.

Cynthia nodded and stood up from the seat. “Well, I guess, I'll go back to work now.”

Brian smiled and sincerely said, “Thank you, Cyn.”

Cynthia left his office and left him to do his work. The day had been busy with meetings and overseeing the progress of their early Valentine’s campaign. Brian had barely even have time to eat lunch, but he kind of like it, he at least had no time to think about his life.

At four o'clock though, when he just came out of his last meeting, Cynthia told him that Lindsay was on the phone.

He sat down on his chair and lifted the receiver, “Hello, Lindsay.”

“Bri, hey, uh-- how have you been?” 

“I'm good. How's Gus?”

“He's fine, Brian. Uh, I called to remind you about the dinner tonight. It's six o'clock. It's a bit early but I like Gus to eat with us.”

Brian closed his eyes and massaged his temples with one hand. He wouldn't introduce Justin to anyone unless they would settle about their problems first.

“Is there any problem, Brian?” She asked condescendingly. Her tone had an edge to it. It was as if she was expecting him to call it off in any seconds now.

Lindsay was playing with him, what would it be, he'd see it later on. “No, no problem. See you at six.”

He ended the call without waiting for her answer.

The true colors of his friends were showing one by one, he didn't know what was Lindsay's plan for tonight, but Brian would make sure she'd know who she was messing with.

He returned to the loft and shower, checking the closet one more time for a change of clothes. He was on his way to Mel and Lindsay's house at quarter before six.

Before he could even park, Brian knew that Lindsay had invited the rest of the gang if Ted’s car had anything to say about it. It was parked next to Melanie's sedan.

Well, he guessed the ball was rolling and Lindsay thought that she was the one playing it.

He knocked and Melanie opened the door for him. She was looking over his shoulder for someone but didn't see anyone.

Brian ignored her and strutted to the living room, expecting the others to be there. And they were there, sporting the owl like expressions, hungry for gossips and entertainment. If he wasn't so pissed, he would have laughed so much. This people were seriously in need for a life.

“Brian! So, where's the mysterious new boyfriend?” Lindsay asked from the couch which she was sharing with Debbie and Ted.

“He is busy. So, I came alone.” He said, arching his eyebrow up.

Michael snorted from the armchair. Brian looked at him, narrowing his eyes until Michael looked away from the intensity of rage he shot at him.

“Brian, I don't appreciate you not doing what we've agreed to do. It's unethical.” Lindsay chastised in her waspy way.

“You do realize it's so unethical of you to tell me that this dinner would just be with you and Melanie, but then you go and invite all of them? I want you to know that I don't appreciate being lied to.” He said it with pointing stare at Lindsay, then he shifted his eyes to Michael, who squirmed on his seat, then to Debbie who looked away quickly after meeting his eyes.

“Linds? What's Brian talking about?” Melanie asked from the doorway.

Lindsay ignored her. “They are your friends, so why not make it a dinner for all. We all want to meet the mysterious guy. But of course, there is no mysterious guy, is there? I know that from the start and now’s the chance for you to admit it when we are all present here. I don't know why you need to pretend to have a boyfriend, but now you cannot say you really have one-- and no, we don't believe your ‘he's busy’ excuse.”

“Well, I don't give a shit if you or anybody here don't believe me. I can't control your minds, think whatever you want, see if I give a damn about it.” Brian said looking her straight in the eyes.

“Hey, what do say if we all just eat and cool down a little bit?” Debbie intervened. Standing up when Lindsay looked at her and nodded.

She went to the kitchen with Emmett while Melanie sat on the couch where Debbie vacated.

“Where's Gus?” He asked looking around.

“He's in his room, Brian. He was playing train a while ago.” Melanie said gesturing her head to the stairs.

Brian turned around and walked up to Gus’ room. He could hear Melanie still asking Lindsay if she really told Brian the dinner would only be with the two of them. He didn't hear her answers when he reached the top of the stairs.

Brian hadn't actually thought that Lindsay would think she could embarrass him like this in front of everyone. He didn't know why she was even trying to do this and what she would gain from ‘exposing’ him to the rest of the gang. 

Brian was actually feeling sad more than angry to what was happening around him. He couldn't already stand Michael and Debbie, and now Lindsay wanted to join the club. It looked like he was going to lose more friends tonight.

When the dinner was ready, Brian brought Gus down and sat next to each other. The food was good but Brian wasn't really hungry, he ate the sandwich Cynthia gave him for lunch. But Brian helped Gus to finish his plate. He was doing what Justin had been doing when Gus was with them, he was making the meal interesting by making up stories about it.

Brian couldn't help thinking he was supposed to be in his own dining table with the man that he sure to be waiting for him since yesterday.

“Okay, another one, sonny boy. The captain noodle will never be seen again because super Gus is going to eat him-- ahmmm-- there you go!” Brian happily wiped the marinara sauce on his son's face. Gus had finished his plate and raised his arms showing his non existent muscles.

“I'm super Gus, daddy!” Gus said in an excited tone.

“Yes, you are. You are my super Gus.” Brian agreed giving his kid his sippy cup.

“I'm daddy's heart super Gus, too. He told me that every time!” Gus said smiling widely.

Brian heard some whispering at the table. He ignored it, instead he helped Gus to get off of the high chair that he was still using.

“Can I go play now, daddy?” He asked innocently.

Brian nodded and said, “But don't run, okay?”

“Okay.” Then he was off to go.

Brian sat back on his chair and tried to eat what was left on his plate.

“Wow, Brian, I didn't know you have that in you. How did you come up with that idea? I've never seen Gus eat the whole plate, like ever.” Melanie said from the other side of the table.

“I didn't, it was daddy's heart’s idea. You should see Gus with him, they are a hoot.” He said nonchalantly.

Michael's silverware had suddenly dropped to his plate, the loud clacking sound had gotten the attention of everyone. They all could see him looking at Brian with contempt.

“Michael, eat your food.” Debbie told him, snapping him from shooting fires at Brian.

“Yeah, Michael, why don't you finish your food? I'm sure your ex-boyfriend will be happy knowing you are being a good boy.” Brian said innocently, but his eyes were digging holes on Michael's skin.

Michael was suddenly choked on his own spit and squirmed on his seat.

“What's Ben got to do with Michael--” Emmett tried to say but he was rudely cut off by a furious and anxious looking Michael.

“Shut the fuck up, Emmett!” He turned to glare at the shockingly gaping queen.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Emmett answered the glare with a much intense one.

“Just shut your fucking mouth!” Michael yelled. He was flushing like he had a fever. “You are sticking your nose to where it doesn't belong!”

Emmett was totally confounded and insulted. He stood up and threw his napkin on his plate. “I need some air. Excuse me.” 

“But it's freezing outside, Em?” Ted asked worriedly.

“Doesn't matter, it's better to get frostbite than getting bitten by the frost man.” He stared down at Michael who petulantly scowled at him.

Then he went to take his jacket and swished through the back door to get to the back porch.

The air at the table was so thick with tension that Brian thought he was about to suffocate from it.

But then, Lindsay stopped eating and wiped her mouth gracefully like the wasp that she was.

“I'm not really comfortable letting Gus to be with a virtual stranger together in one room, Brian.” Lindsay said.

Melanie did a double take on her wife, then looked at Brian. Brian wasn't surprised by this, of course, Lindsay didn't get what she wanted, she'd going to be brat about it.

“Too bad, Lindsay-- but I'm not stopping them from spending time together. As long as my son wants to see him, I won't stop him.” Brian said sternly.

“You won't stop it, but I will.” She said in a very composed way.

“Linds, wha--” Melanie was trying to ask Lindsay but she cut her off.

“Mel, you were against this before, remember? You were the one who told Brian that you weren't comfortable with it.” Lindsay turned to look at her.

“Yeah, and I remember you telling me that we just have to meet the guy, and it's okay if Gus would be with them.” Melanie recounted, her forehead was creasing.

“She let you believed that because she thought I wasn't telling the truth. So now, Lindsay knows that it could possibly be true, she is changing her tune.” Brian looked at Lindsay. “Did I get it right, Peterson?”

Lindsay was clenching her jaws but didn't lose her composure. She was tough, he gave her that. Melanie though, looked like she was about to burst.

“Linds, I don't like what I'm hearing here.” She shifted to look at her wife.

“We can talk later, Mel. But I want to make it clear to Brian that Gus is not going with him unless we meet his boyfriend and we approved that he will be good around Gus.”

“You can't do this Lindsay. And if you meet him, what's next, telling me that you decided he is not good enough to be around Gus? That's it, right? You are just going to drag this but in the end, you already have your decision. Well, let me tell you, I'm not letting you do this to Gus and my partner. They shouldn't suffer because you happen to be the demented mother of my son.”

“How dare you calling me deme--”

“Linds, stop this, honey. Let's all finished eating, then you can talk some more after you cool down.” Debbie said soothingly. It just too bad she had been lying to him, too, not to mention the blackmailing and some other things.

“But Linds is right, Gus shouldn't be around with people that we don't even know.” Michael said like Brian wanted to hear his opinion.

“Yeah? But it's okay to surround my son to a lying piece of shit like you?” Brian growled shooting daggers at Michael. He heard Debbie audibly gasped. 

Brian was trembling with anger, he was trying to compose himself since he came to the house and find Michael and Debbie sitting in the living room looking like innocent guests. 

He didn't want to be consumed with his anger especially when his son was only at hearing range, but he couldn't help it when Michael was acting like he was concerned for Gus’ welfare instead of his own wicked agenda. It made his blood boils.

“What--” Ted was looking around the table in bewilderment.

“It must be satisfying to see our children grow up to be vicious, right, Debbie? They still have our support to be cruel and manipulative son of a bitch. That's what you called a true ‘mother’s love’”. Debbie was about to open her mouth, but thought better of it at the end and shut it.

Brian had no appetite after that and stood up from the table. “I'm getting some air, too. Better to be around snowman than frigid bitches. Excuse me.”

Brian was thankful his jacket was just at the back of his chair. He shrugged it in, then went to the same way as Emmett took a while ago.

“I said no, Lindsay!” Was the last words he heard from Melanie before he closed the door. Lindsay must be boiling to be called demented and frigid bitch in just a matter of minutes.

He looked around the porch and couldn't see Emmett anywhere. He must've gone to Ted’s car or walked home, he wasn't really sure but the weather was freezing cold. Emmett was a responsible adult, Brian knew he could take care of himself. He was not being an asshole, he just knew Emmett wasn't stupid.

He stood at the corner wooden railing with his back to it. Time like this was what made him thankful that he had made a life away from his old friends. A life where he shared with someone like Justin, someone worth going home to. 

Setting aside their present issues, Justin had always been someone who truly loved and understand him, someone he would want to spend the rest of his life with. And if he had a say in it, he would be with Justin until his last breath.

With this thing happening to them, Brian truly believed that they could get past through this. He was hurting, yeah, and he was still hurting to the point it made him tear up thinking his partner could keep things this important to him. 

But he also knew that Justin had reasons why he did that. He truly believed in his heart that Justin didn't do this because of selfish agenda or taking advantage of his incapacity to remember some part of his life. 

It just saddened him though, that his partner didn't feel secure to think he could tell Brian anything, and that Brian loved him enough to try to listen and understand. Justin must be thinking of Brian before, the one he couldn't communicate and wouldn't want to communicate with him. 

Brian had promised Justin that they would fight for each other and whatever secrets his partner had still been keeping from him, he'd try to be opened mind and listened to it, he'd try to understand it. Brian wouldn't do anything unless he heard his partner’s side.

Admittedly, this could cause them a set back, for sure. But Justin was worth the effort to try and fixed this rift between them. It might take time to get them whole again, but nothing could stop him from loving his partner, his husband, his heart. 

Even his amnesia had tried to keep them apart, but it didn't win. They still found their way into each other. So, Justin might have done something awful to him before, like cheating on him, but it wouldn't stop him from forgiving ‘his heart’ and continue loving him.

His eyes had gotten misty from thinking about Justin, he missed him so much and he was longing to hold him, kiss him and just be with him. Justin must be worried sick of him, too. They hadn't been apart for this long since they started seeing each other and Brian wanted to go home. He wanted to be with the man that own his heart.

He took his phone off from his pocket and texted Justin. He felt so bad that he made him so worried and he knew his partner was already on edge. God, he must be thinking that Brian wanted to get away from him. God, no!

His fingers were furiously working as he typed, “I'm coming home to you, mo chroí. I'm so sorry for making you worry, but I'm coming home to you. I'll always come home to you. I love you.”

Brian stared at his phone as he tried to get his bearings back. It vibrated after few minutes and his heart had almost stopped after reading the message. What had he done to his partner?

The message said, “Thank god you're coming home. I'm so scared that you'll never want to see me again. I'm so sorry for everything. I hope you will give me a chance to tell you my side, and whatever you decide, I promise to respect it but I'll always be here waiting for you, Brian. Because I love you so much. You are my life.”

Brian kissed the phone as if it was Justin's forehead.

And that's how he was when Emmett saw him. Emmett was staring at the scene in front of him so fascinatingly.

He cleared his throat in warning, he didn't want to startle Brian. He seemed to be so emotional at that moment.

“Brian…” He tentatively called.

Brian ducked his head to the side, Emmett surmised he was embarrassed getting caught in an intimate act with his phone.

“It's okay, Brian, your secret is safe with me. I'm sorry if I interrupted something.” Emmett stood a few feet away from him.

“That's okay. I was just texting my partner.” Brian sighed, “I want to go home.”

“Yeah, we should go, you know. And Brian, I'm sorry to be here-- we actually didn't know about the dinner being exclusive for you and the girls, she invited us saying you were going to introduce your boyfriend. I don't think she believed you, though. I think, she was expecting you to come alone. And you did.”

“I know. I just-- honestly, I don't want to bring him and meet you all at this point in time, you know. Nothing personal, Emmett, but it's just not the right time. I don't want to subject him to the insanity inside that house right now, and believe me if I say he will cause a very none too happy reactions.”

Emmett nodded, “Yeah. Michael would go ballistic. What the fuck is wrong with him? Well, I think it's because I told him yesterday that I won't help him to talk to you when he asked me to call you. I told him I don't buy his shit for accidentally overdosing and I won't in anyway participate in his sick games with you.”

“He's not too happy, I guess?” Brian said, he didn't know it could be this good just talking to a friend.

Emmett snorted, “Anyway, I'm so happy that you finally found someone, you know. I thought you will be with-- uh, sorry-- sorry, Brian. I should really stop thinking about the past, you know. You are happy with your new life, so I should leave the past behind.” Emmett looked contrite.

“You mean, you thought that I will be with Justin for a long time?” Brian helped him to continue what he was about to say.

“Yeah, that's what I meant. He was a part of your life, I'm happy that you at least know about him.” 

Brian smiled painfully, “Yeah, of course. I want to know some important parts of my past and as I've learned, Justin was one of them.”

“Yeah, he was, Brian. It was only less than two years, but the impact he had in your life was to me way more than the people that you've known all your life. Too bad it didn't last. I've always thought he was perfectly made for you.”

“You liked Justin, Emmett?”

Emmett looked melancholic for a moment and said, “As a matter of fact, I do. But he just disappeared, you know. He quit the diner after you two had called it quits, I think Michael had something to do with that. Kiki told me she heard him telling Justin to give us all a favor and just disappear, she said and I quote ‘Brian wouldn't want to see your face after you embarrassed him like that, Brian wouldn't want to be around some cheater like you’, unquote. He never visited Liberty avenue after, he changed his phone number and we didn't know his new address. So…”

But Brian thought he was still in contact with Justin even after the break up, up to the day before his accident. He paid Justin's tuition after one month of their break up and they had planned on going to Hawaii two days after his accident if the tickets had anything to do with it.

“Did he happen to visit me at the hospital?”

“No, as far as the gangs are concerned, he never did. That was what made us all decide not to mention him to you. We don't want you to have a backlash from getting too much information, you know.”

“Understandable.” He said.

“I know that you loved him-- Justin I mean. You tried to deny it, but it was there in your eyes. And when he was bashed, you were so devastated. I have never seen you liked that.” Emmett said forlornly.

Brian's head turned on Emmett's direction in a flash. He looked at him with abject horror.

“Bashed? Justin was bashed?” He asked with horrified face.

“Oh god, you didn't know. Me and my big mouth.” Emmett said apologetically.

“Tell me… tell me, Emmett, please.” He whispered, the pain in his voice was too evident.

Emmett looked skeptical, but he nodded. “Well, it was Justin's prom. He told us he wanted you to be his date but you flatly refused him, then he didn't want to go but Debbie and the girls had convinced him. And so he went with his friend, Daphne. A lovely lady. Without anyone knowing, you went to his prom and you danced with him. Unfortunately, one of his classmates had taken offense on that particular show, I heard you kissed him in the middle of the dance floor, with everyone freezing from watching it.

“You were in a parking garage together, the homophobic asshole struck a baseball bat to Justin's head. Luckily, you were there, Brian. If he was alone, I don't want to think what could have happened to him. He was in a coma for three days and you were there, Brian, you were there with him all that time. You waited for three fucking days until he woke up. You--” Emmett had stopped as he noticed Brian was shaking beside him.

“Brian, hey, are you okay?” Emmett asked worriedly.

Brian didn't answer but he was holding onto the railing like his life was depended on it.

“Brian, I'm sorry-- I didn't mean to hurt you. Justin got through it like the fighter he was--” 

“What the fuck, Emmett?! What have you been fucking telling Brian, you blabber mouth?! Can't you just shut your fucking--” Michael screeched from the door. But Brian didn't let him finish as he walked by him, ignoring him and went inside the house.

Brian was actually shaking, his body was feeling numb and he just wanted to go home to Justin. God, it was the incident Ben had mentioned, that fucking scarf in the box-- it was Justin's blood. Brian's knees almost given up, but he held onto the dining chair where the others were still sitting and talking.

“Brian, what's wrong?” It was Debbie, she walked to him and held his shoulder. Brian shrugged it off and walked to the living room where his son was playing with his train set, the train set Justin had given him, his Justin who had almost died from a cracked in his head. 

He wanted his partner, he wanted him, now. 

The others were all hovering at his back as he crouched down to his son.

“Daddy, why are you crying?” Gus asked innocently. He stood up in front of his father and his small hands reached up to wipe his tears.

Brian shook his head, “It's nothing, Gus. Uh, daddy needs to go home, okay? I need to go home to daddy's heart. I missed him so much.” Brian kissed his son's head. “You be good, okay?”

Gus started to cry and held on Brian's shirt, he seemed to sense the tension on Brian's body. “I want to come wif you! I want to see daddy's heart! I missed daddy's heart, too!”

“Gus, you can't go with your father. Stop crying.” Lindsay said from Brian's back. That made Gus wailed even more but Brian tried to sooth his kid, hugging him to his chest.

“You can't come with me tonight, but I promise you I'm coming back to take you to daddy and daddy's heart’s house, very, very soon, okay?” Brian said to the distressed kid. But Michael started screeching again.

“What house? What fucking house are you talking about, Brian?”

Brian closed his eyes and ran his hands roughly on his face. God, he just wanted to get home.

“My daddy and daddy's heart’s house. It's very big and beautiful, I have my room there, bigger than I have up there.” Gus said pointing up to the ceiling. “Daddy's heart makes very beautiful drawing on my walls and I have lotsa, lotsa toys there.”

Everyone was gaping at the distraught looking Brian.

“Brian-- was Gus telling the truth? Are you living in a house with your fuck buddy?! Why didn't you tell me?” Michael was hysterical.

Brian faced Gus again and kissed his forehead. “Be good, okay?” He told him.

When Gus answered, “Yes, daddy”, Brian stood up from the floor and face his friends.

“Yeah, I have moved out from the loft three months ago and moved in with my partner to a house that we bought. I need to go now. I want to go home.” Brian said as calmly as he could, but his inside was still shattered by the fact that Justin had almost died from bashing. He wanted to set their problem aside for a while, and just hold Justin to him to assure himself that his partner was still there.

“You are lying. I don't believe you!” Michael yelled, following Brian to the front door.

“Then don't, I honestly don't care.” With that, Brian opened the door and slammed it on Michael's face.

Brian ran into his truck and quickly back away from the girl’s parking spots. He drove so fast that he knew he was breaking the speed limit, but he needed to be home.

After minutes of driving, he noticed from his rear view mirror that Ted’s car was trailing him. Fuck, this people didn't know how to back off. Why couldn't they just let him be in peace?

Brian stepped on the gas harder to increase the speed more, he wanted to lose them from following him home. He wanted to be with Justin tonight, alone.

But then, Ted’s car had gone faster, too. Brian was fucking desperate and he stepped on the gas harder. When he was near the intersection, he wanted to catch the green light before it would turn red. He noticed Ted’s car was a little behind and so he slowed down a bit to cross the intersection, he was sure that they didn't have enough time to catch the green light.

Brian was on the speed limit as he crossed the road, but something had happened unexpectedly. A speeding sedan came from the right side of the road and collided with his truck in a T-bone collision.

Brian's last memory before he blacked out, was the ear piercing screeched of tires, then the impact that his truck took from the collision, it shook him to all different angles despite the seatbelt that he was fastened to.

Brian felt everything was done in slow motion. He could even hear his heartbeat as he looked so horrified at the car coming on to him. Then his head hit the window and the glass cracked and smeared with his blood.

Brian had tried to open his eyes but it felt too heavy and his body was trapped that it was so difficult to breathe. Brian fought to say something to the people who were now opening his car door, it was a struggle but he thought he successfully said the name of the only person he wished to see for the last time.

“Ju- Justin…”