*Knock, Knock, Knock*
“Justin you need to get up or you’ll be late,” I hear my Grandmother call through my haze of sleep. After taking a moment to stretch and a glance at the clock, I reluctantly stumbled out of bed to give her a proper good morning.
“Morning grandma, is there any coffee?” I asked which earned me a look of reprimand for having a caffeine fetish at such a young age. It’s been a daily ritual since I moved in with her a year ago. Every morning I ask for coffee and every morning she scolds me and says “No healthy seventeen year old should need help in the energy department.” But she gives it to me anyway and today is no different.
We sit at the table in silence for a while as she reads the morning newspaper, I can tell she wants to talk, but I have no interest in the subject she has in mind. It’s Wednesday and that only means one thing…a visit from my mother. I really have no desire to see her being that she is part of the reason I’m here with Grandma Annie in the first place. I do give her credit though for at least giving the impression that she gives a fuck about me. My father on the other hand, he could give a fuck less about me or my wellbeing and let me just say, the feeling is completely mutual.
It’s not just the visit from dear old mom that I’m dreading, it’s the accompanied visit with the social worker that has me all fucked up. I still remember the day I walked into my house and saw Diane Harris (my overbearing social worker) sitting on my couch
One year earlier (1992)
I had just finished lunch and was on my way to Geometry when Dean Scott stopped me in the hall.
“Justin, I need to speak to you in my office, don’t worry about being late you’ll be excused.”
I couldn’t imagine what I’d done to warrant a visit to the dean’s office. My first thought was that it had something to do with my recent coming out. Dwight D. Eisenhower High was a fairly conservative school whose student body was mainly made up of the children of the local doctors, lawyers and other pillars of the community in Decatur, Illinois. Needless to say the resident fairy was as welcome on campus as a kid in a kissing booth with mono.
“Am I in some kind of trouble, sir?” I managed to ask once my ability to speak had returned.
“No, not at all Justin but it is very important that I speak with you now.”
I could sense the urgency in his voice and it did nothing to quell my nerves. I nodded and followed him to his office. Once we arrived he offered me a seat in one of the ridiculously uncomfortable plastic chairs he had lined up against the wall. He then sat down behind his desk and cleared his throat before he proceeded to speak.
“Justin, there’s been an incident regarding your parents.”
Holy shit! I never expected this to be about my parents.
“What about my parents? Are they hurt?”
“No….” I could tell Dean Scott was reluctant to tell me but didn’t have a choice in the matter, so he took a deep breath and continued.
“They’ve been arrested. Apparently your father has been dealing drugs to support his business and hiding it in your home.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I just sat there staring, feeling every ounce of color drain from my face. I knew my dad could be an asshole, he practically kicked me out when I told him I was gay but this….I didn’t think that the fucker would stoop so low and what did my mother have to with it anyway?
“If my dad was dealing the drugs, what the hell does my mother have to do with any of this?”
Dean Scott gave me a look that said ‘watch your fucking mouth’ and I lowered my eyes in apology.
“Calm down! The police just took her in for questioning I’m sure she’ll be fine. In the meantime, I’m sending you home; your grandmother should be there to meet you.” He gave me a sympathetic smile as handed me a campus pass to go home.
I walked back to my locker to put the books I wouldn’t need away before going home. I was standing there so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize I had company.
“Earth to Justin…” my best friend Daphne sing-songed to me.
“Oh, sorry Daph I didn’t notice you there.”
“Gee thanks a lot; it’s so nice to know I have the power of invisibility.” Her smartass remark was totally lost on me as my mind drifted back to my parents.
How the fuck did he hide it all this time? What’s going to happen to my mother? What’s going to happen to me?
I brought myself out of my musings and turned to Daphne deciding not to insult her further with my justifiable distant attitude.
“Daph, I have to go home I can’t tell you about it now but I promise that we’ll talk later.”
“Oh my god! Justin, is everything alright?” I could see the worry and concern etched on her face and wished I could tell her everything was fine, but I still wasn’t too sure of that myself.
“Shit, I sure hope so,” I offered giving her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before closing my locker and then heading for the double doors to exit the building.
“You better fucking call me Justin.” Daphne yelled after me as I walked away. Once I got outside I literally ran the seven block distance from the school to my house, but the closer I got the more nervous I began to feel about what I might see. I had visions of police tape, fingerprint dust and general destruction everywhere, so imagine my surprise when I walked in to see my grandmother sitting on the sofa with a rather large but kind looking black woman. As she stood and offered her hand to formally introduce herself, I gave a weak smile and out of common courtesy offered my hand as well.
“Hello Justin, My name is Diane Harris and I’m a social worker with DCFS. I know you have lots of questions, and I promise I’ll do my best to answer each one as truthfully as possible.”
I nodded in understanding as she began to read what appeared to be the police report detailing the charges associated with my parent’s arrest. After sufficiently perusing the report, Diane retrieved a legal pad and pen from her attaché case and started to ask questions.