As the weeks went by, I found myself spending more and more time with Brian and spent less and less thinking about my parents. Shit… it was hard for me to think about little else when Brian kept turning up everywhere.  He would throw rocks at my bedroom window in the dead-ass of night, show up at school to have lunch with me and Daphne, hell…he’d even shown up for the first few days Craig’s trial.  In fact he started coming around so often, that I almost expected him to set up permanent residence.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining or anything, but it just strikes me as odd that for a guy who claims to be against longstanding attachments of any kind, he just couldn’t seem to stay away.  At first I just thought it was because he was bored or some shit and didn’t have anything else better to do; at least that’s what I kept telling myself anyway.  But then he would kiss or touch or hold me in ways that made me feel it was much more than that.

Brian Kinney was definitely a walking contradiction of emotions that constantly left me feeling blissfully confused, like working a puzzle that couldn’t be completed because so many of the pieces were missing.

Daphne asked me what I thought it all meant one night after he’d accompanied us to see the movie Basic Instinct, which by the way had way too much hetero sex for my taste….but I digress. Brian had managed to land himself a job at a local factory and made decent enough money to afford the latest model Jeep Wrangler, so when he came over offering to take us for a spin in his new toy we jumped at the chance.  

Daphne and I were lying across her bed when the mention of how he’d kissed me senseless before leaving brought the subject up.

“I’m not sure what it means Daph,” I told her quite honestly “I mean….one minute he’s all over me like a fucking  cheap suit, not that I mind, but then he’s pushing me away acting like I’ve hurt him in the worst way the next,”  I sighed.

Daphne looked at me with a sympathetic smile and said “Then why don’t you just deal with it straight from the shoulder, just ask him bottom line exactly what he wants.”

“I don’t know if I can do that Daph. Brian isn’t exactly the world’s most approachable person you know.”

“True….but that still isn’t a good enough reason for you to be afraid to tell him how you feel Justin.”

I knew she was right, but what if I lost his friendship or whatever the fuck it was we had in the process? Was that a risk I willing to take? If I was honest with myself the answer was no. Maybe that’s why he had left so suddenly that night, maybe he was just as afraid to face his feelings as I was.

“Justin I just got an idea,” Daphne said interrupting my musings “Why don’t you ask him to the prom”

I looked at Daphne as if she had suddenly sprouted a second head; there was no way in hell I was going to ask Brian to the prom. As I thought more about it, he would probably turn me down anyway. I quickly turned away so that she couldn’t see the hurt and sadness that I was sure was clearly shown on my face.

“Daphne are you crazy? What would he come as my fucking chaperone, and besides I wasn’t even planning on going”

“Justin how can you not go to prom…..it’s like a rite of passage, the ultimate high school experience.”

I looked to her and sighed, I know she means well but Daphne couldn’t possibly understand my reasons for not going. Prom was for straight students who could be seen with their dates without having to endure criticism or ridicule or being told that they’re going to hell because of who they chose to love. The simple fact of the matter was that a little faggot boy like myself wouldn’t be welcome at such an event.

“Daph….prom isn’t for people like me.  Even if I wanted to, you know I couldn’t invite Brian as my date.”

“….”

“What? You don’t seriously think that Mr. Anthony would allow it do you?”

Daphne hesitated a brief moment, seeming to consider how she should answer my question without coming off as an insensitive bitch. I actually found this to be quite amusing because Daphne was never one to hold her tongue for anybody. Her brutal frankness was one of the things I loved most about her, and I damn sure didn’t want her to start being coy now.

“Who gives a fuck what Mr. Anthony or anyone else for that matter, thinks or feels about who you decide to bring to prom Justin?”

“That’s easy for you to say Daph; you don’t have to hide who you are. Look it’s getting late and I really don’t want to talk about it anymore okay?” Daphne huffed out an annoyed breath but thankfully didn’t bring the subject up again. I gathered my things kissed her cheek and headed for home, all the while thinking about how I was going to ask Brian to the prom.

Grandma Annie was already in bed asleep when I got home, so I quietly made my way upstairs showered and got into bed myself. It seemed as if my body had just started to relax and wind down when I heard the familiar tapping at my window.

“Sunshine……Justin, are you awake?”

I groaned softly not wanting to leave the comfort of my warm bed, but also not wanting to leave Brian hanging either. Reluctantly, I managed to drag myself out of bed and opened the window for my midnight caller. I leaned out slightly and was immediately assaulted by the cool night air, I could feel the goosebumps starting to form on my skin, but the smile in which Brian greeted me with warmed me just as quickly.

“Brian what the fuck are you doing here? Do you have any idea what time it is?” I whispered harshly to my own ears; but probably sounded more like whining if Brian’s laughter served as any indication……Christ, let me stop to check and see if my nuts have really dropped yet.

“Who the fuck cares what time it is Sunshine,” he chuckled which was really starting to work my fucking nerves. Why was I always his little source of amusement? I mean, if he wanted a good laugh he could always watch the TGIF line up on ABC for fucks sake.

“I care Brian. I have school tomorrow so I ask again, what do you want?” I swear if he laughs again or even lets out an inkling of a chuckle, I will be performing my first castration.

“You are so fucking cute when you’re indignant, can I come in?”

Sighing heavily, I motioned him to the front door but warned him to be quiet as not to wake Grandma. As soon as he came inside, he pushed me up against the door and kissed me as if he were a man starved. I temporarily lost myself in the kiss but suddenly remembered where we were.

“Brian….”

“Say it again,” he whispered huskily “My name sounds so good coming from your lips like that”

Damn….why does he have to go and say shit like that? I guess there’s only one way to keep it from happening again….here goes nothing.

“Brian….would you go to my senior prom with me?”