Alex pulled Miguel into a hug and gently rubbed his friend’s back. “Hey, I’m sure you guys can work out anything. I’ve seen the way he is around you.”

Miguel took a shuddering breath. “I know he loves me. I know that. And it really wasn’t his fault that I stupidly tried to kill myself. I mean I don’t blame him, but I’m afraid he might blame himself.”

Alex stepped back and pulled Miguel over to the sofa and sat down. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Miguel sat down and stared at his fists. His fingers were clenched with so much pressure that his knuckles were white. He took another breath and started talking in a monotone voice, almost as if he were speaking about something that happened to someone else. “The first time I saw Jake, he simply took my breath away. I just knew that I had to make him mine. Then I met Sunshine. You really can’t help liking Justin, even now, but back then…he was just so adorable. Jake was in the middle of a scene, so I chatted quietly with Justin and found we had so much in common. I felt like I’d met someone who could become a very close friend. When I saw Jake walking towards us, my heart didn’t know whether to stop or beat hard enough to leap from my chest. I just knew he’d seen me and decided he wanted to get to know me, but he walked behind Justin and hugged him tightly. I think my brain stopped functioning for a short period because the next thing I knew, Justin was introducing me to his Master…HIS Master.”

Miguel took another shuddering breath and continued. “My parents had died just a month before, and I was finding it pretty difficult to come to terms with them being gone. I’d just turned twenty-one and had all this responsibility thrust on my shoulders. I couldn’t tell who was my friend because they liked me, or if they wanted to be friends with me for my money. Then there was Justin who was someone I knew I could get close to, and he was with the man of my dreams. Jake only had eyes for his Sunshine.”

Alex placed a hand on Miguel’s knee and squeezed. He could feel his friend’s pain and wanted to offer some sort of comfort.

“After some idle talk, I found out they’d been together for three years, so I figured there was no hope for me at all. Then, I got the surprise of my life when Jake walked away to talk to some friends. Justin leaned in really close and asked me if I’d like to join them. Well, I wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity like that. It was an amazing night. I know it sounds crazy, but I left feeling like the only man I’d ever be able to give myself to belonged to another. I was so confused. I had all these feelings coiling inside me and I felt as if I would die if I didn’t let them out. The only problem was, I had no idea how to do that. I walked back into the family mansion, looked around at all the empty rooms, and wondered what the hell I was going to do with myself. I found myself in my parent’s bedroom just walking around mindlessly. I don’t remember going into their bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet and taking out my mother’s prescription of valium, but I know I must have done it. I don’t even remember swallowing the pills. I do remember sitting on the bathroom floor, staring up at the ceiling, feeling nothing but the erratic beating of my heart, and wondering if I’d find happiness in the next life.”

Miguel turned his head and looked into Alex’s eyes. “I wasn’t scared. I didn’t pray. I just sat there wondering how long it would take. I found out later that our housekeeper had heard me come home and she was worried about me. She found me passed out on the bathroom floor, called 911 and held me until they got there. I woke up three days later, got transferred to BryLan Hospital, and spent the next three months trying to come to terms with my life and what I’d done.”

Alex shook his head and pulled Miguel into another hug. “I can’t imagine the amount of pressure you must have been under. I’m just happy you worked through everything. I’m honored to have you as my friend.”

Miguel’s lips turned up into a little smile. “Fuck Alex, I tell you a little story and you turn all lezzy on me.”

“Well, I didn’t want to say that the only reason I love having you around is because you’re so much fun to pick on, now could I?” Alex raised an eyebrow and bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing.

Miguel sputtered and tried to hold back the laughter until he just couldn’t. He leaned back and laughed. “Now that’s more like the Alex I’ve come to know and love.”

“Miguel, I think you’re stronger and more in touch with yourself than most of us, and it’s because you went through all this. I don’t think Jake will see you any differently.” Alex shook his head.

Miguel sighed. “I just don’t want him blaming himself. Hell, I’d have done it sometime. It just so happened that I did it on the night I met him.”

“Jake is a very intelligent man. I’m sure he’ll see the truth if you tell him.”

“I hope you’re right, Alex. I’ll never try to take my own life again, but if I lose him, I won’t have much of a life to live.”

“I know what you mean. I hate the thought of having to tell Chris about the things my father did to me.” Alex stared toward the kitchen.

“You can tell me.” Miguel reached over and squeezed his friend’s arm. “After all, I just unloaded on you.”

Alex shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.“Not much to tell. I mean it’s just your basic ‘father can’t face the fact that he’s gay so he beats the hell out of his son until the kid is old enough to fuck’ scenario.”

“I can’t even imagine how hard that would be on a child.” Miguel shook his head.

“Yeah, well I got through it.” Alex shifted his position.

Miguel noticed the slight flinch as he reached out to touch Alex again and pulled back. “I really think it would help if you talked to someone. If not me, then maybe Brian or even go see a professional.”

Alex barked out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, like a head doctor can actually do anything for you. Been there, done that, thank you very much.” Alex saw the pain that crossed Miguel’s face and remembered the man just told him he was under psychiatric care for almost three months. “Shit, Miguel. I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay, Alex. I know some people don’t believe in it, but it really helped me. I still think you should talk to someone.”

“No offense, Miguel, but I’m not sure what good it would do to talk to someone who had the perfect childhood with the perfect parents.”

Miguel smirked. “My childhood was far from perfect, but my parents loved me and they certainly never abused me.”

Alex’s head jerked back like he’d been slapped. “Well, as I said, we all can’t have perfect fucking parents.”

“Fuck! Alex I didn’t mean to imply anything about you or your parents.”

Alex shook his head and patted his friend’s knee. “I know that, Miguel. I think I’m just a little messed up in the head at the moment with all these confessions.”

Miguel nodded. “Now that I can relate to.”

Alex heard the doorbell and groaned, “Who the hell is that?”  He stood and walked toward the door mumbling, “What ever happened to calling before you drop by?”

Brian grinned at Alex as soon as the door opened. “I tried to call but you won’t answer your damn phone, so I just figured I’d see if you were home.”

“I’ve been here all morning and never heard my phone ring, big guy. Come on in.” Alex stepped back and motioned Brian into the house.

“Well, you need to learn to keep your cell phone charged and on you at all times.” Brian walked into the living room and waved at Miguel. “Hey, I didn’t know you’d be here.”

Miguel stood up and started gathering his stuff. “Actually, I was just leaving. I have some errands to run before Jake gets back into town.”

Alex gave Miguel a hug and whispered, “You call me anytime you need to talk.”

Miguel smiled and nodded. “I will and the same goes for you.” He turned and gave Brian a quick hug. “Later, stud.”

Brian gingerly hugged Miguel. “I’ll see you later.”

Alex showed Miguel to the door and got another hug before returning to the living room. “Take a seat, Brian. I have some pastries and coffee. Do you want anything?”

Brian noticed how agitated his friend was acting and shook his head. “No, I’m good. Listen, if this is a bad time I can head over to the diner.”

“No, it’s okay. I had a visit from Cole earlier and he asked some questions that I really wasn’t expecting to have to answer.” Alex motioned for Brian to keep his seat.

“What kind of questions? I didn’t realize you guys would be dragged into this mess.” Brian sat back, covered his face with his hand for a second and sighed.

“He’s just being thorough, Brian. Besides, he’s only trying to do a good job for you.” Alex sat down next to his friend.

“So what kind of questions did he ask you?”

Alex took a breath and released it slowly. “He wanted to know why I’d done a stint in juvenile detention.”

“Holy shit, man. What did you do?” Brian turned and looked closely at Alex.

“Took my old man’s car and he reported it stolen.”

“Fuck! I thought my parents would win the ‘worst parenting’ award.” Brian shook his head.

“Yeah, well my old man beat the shit out of me for years. I really wouldn’t expect anything less from him.” Alex shrugged.

Brian whistled softly. “Seems we have that in common. Jack loved to smack me around when he was drunk.”

“How did you deal with it?” Alex dipped his head for a moment before meeting Brian’s eyes.

Brian bit his lip. “I went to Mikey’s house and pretended they were my family.”

Alex nodded. “It was good that you had somewhere to go.”

“What did you do?” asked Brian softly.

“I tried to stay out of his way mostly. I really didn’t have anywhere to go.”

Brian reached out and patted Alex on the shoulder.“Well, we survived and we’re more successful than our fucked up fathers could ever hope to be. That’s a pretty sweet revenge.”

“I wish I could be satisfied with thinking like that, but most days I just want to hunt the bastard down and kill him,” Alex spat angrily.

Brian looked at Alex’s face. “He did more than beat you, didn’t he?”

Alex’s eyes darted up quickly before shifting to the side to avoid contact. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t mean to pry and you certainly don’t have to tell me a thing. I just want you to know that I’m here if you need to talk.” Brian gave his friend a little smile.

Alex hadn’t thought about his father in a very long time and all the emotions he’d felt back then seemed to be building up inside him. He felt the tears pooling in his eyes and blinked rapidly to keep them at bay.“He was my father, Brian. He was supposed to love and protect me, but instead, he hurt me in the worst way possible.”

Brian felt his stomach lurch. He knew what the son of a bitch had done to Alex. He felt a slow burning rage coiling in his stomach along with the sick feeling. People like Alex’s father got to abuse their children, and here the girls were trying to take Gus away from him and he’d never hurt his little boy like that.“He didn’t deserve to be your father.”

Alex raised his glistening eyes and gave Brian a little smile. “Careful there, big guy. I might think you actually care.”

Brian rolled his eyes and pulled Alex into a tight hug. “I do care, you little twat, but I’ll deny it until the day I die.”