BRIAN 

“Look I honestly don't mind, and if you could see your way clear to blow me, you can stay under my desk all day.” I tell Justin, who for some reason is sitting under my desk.

“I'm officially cutting you off, you let them take me.” He tells me, ducking back under my desk. Which with the open sides just defeats his purpose. Really, he had to bring his cats too?

“Justin, Mother Taylor just wanted her baby to have footwear. She really begged, and well, I couldn’t let her be all sad.” I know I’m laying it on thick, but if it gets his mouth to working where I need it, then I'll pave all of Pittsburgh.

“That’s such a sweet thing for an idiot to do, but you realize Mom started looking for shirts for you. Apparently she and Deb decided you need more color in your life. Enjoy the rainbow wear.” He tells me, depositing Sunny in my lap when Regina started to look pissy, and really, that I can tell that just tells you how much time I’ve spent trying to get this relationship off the ground. Wait, did he say rainbow wear? Time to reign Deb in.

Michael comes stomping in, slumping in a chair, he looks under the desk. “Hey Justin, if I’d known you were in here I’d have brought the triple meat cheese steak here instead of to your office. Finish blowing Brian, so I can talk to him.” Justin always gets slightly confused when Michael does something nice, but usually, like now, he reverts back to ‘MM Mode’ which had Justin okay again.

“I’m hiding from the enemy right now, so trot your ass to my desk and get my sandwich.” Justin tells him and at first I think he growls, but no, Sunny suddenly has a spine, and claws.

“I know it’s up for debate whether or not I’m using my balls today, but if Sunny’s claws sink any further, I’m cutting you off.” I tell him.  Justin snatches Sunny and then seems to think I need petting. After I give him the glare, he unzips and rubs me all kinds of ways. I look up to see Michael standing there with what has to be at least sixteen inches… of sandwich.

“I swear, I need to get me one of those desks.” Michael is a dead man, because Justin removes the wonderful hand and slinks to the other side to reach for the sandwich. Hopefully he’ll be in a better mood when fed.

“Michael you ruined the chance to see us in action, so can you tell me why you're here?” I learned not to ask but tell Michael things, or we’d be here for hours trying to get what he wants out.

“Ma wants to have a dinner at the house for your twink’s mother and is inviting some guy Jen thought I should meet. Ma just won’t listen that I’m so not into love and relationships, so I figured you and the guy could skip dinner and come with me. I heard there’s a white party at a local hotel.” He raises his eyebrows which only makes it look like he’s constipated. I look under my desk at Justin who grabbed my thigh. 

“MM’s like a party killer waiting to happen, can we go and bring the girls, it could be a new experience for them to get there before MM ruins it.” He tells me.

“I make a party, not ruin it.” MM sneers, but Mother Michael takes over. “Justin don't hoover it, you'll choke.” Then he gets up and grabs the soda Justin started storing there. The polite ‘thank you’ just kills me when he's still under my desk, and not for any good reason. 

“I just don't want to waste my time on some college professor when there are plenty of men out there.” Really, the slouching just makes Michael look like a ten year old. Somehow Michael managed to get Justin out, because he jumped in a chair all excited.

“Benny’s coming?” Justin asks, just short of bouncing in his chair. I'm starting to think I don't like Benny.

“Who?” MM sneers, which really never worked for him and still doesn’t.

“Benny, he’s like my first stalker crush, he was like the hunk of the campus. He’s kind of all teachy, but well, in the interest of our non relationship, I was kind of the student who had to ask questions after class. Although he really thought that was why I was there, but now I’m not like his student… which doesn’t matter because I’m committed to the non relationship.” Justin tells us, but I think Mom and I need to have a talk about the competition she’s brought to Pittsburgh.

“I have no problem taking him for a spin on the MM express… Fuck, I meant the Mikey express.” Justin smirks because he managed to get Mikey to slip up and call himself MM. “Just don’t be jealous when my moves work, BW.” Mikey has been trying, but no one is willing to hurt Justin’s feeling by calling him Boy Wonder. Justin told me it just shows how little originality points MM gets that he can’t get anyone to follow his lead.

Mikey leaves, letting me know we need to check out the hunk, and I glare when Justin is just too happy about this. 

JUSTIN

I can’t believe Mom got Benny to come, but then he’ll probably still act like I’m a child, I’m not really. I look up to see Brian glaring and I tilted my head and realized that Brian really is better looking and well exciting, and doesn’t seem to wince at anything I do. Benny is like the anti-Brian, he’s like all serious and shit, I’ll admit boring, it was all I could do to stay awake in his class most days. He also tends to be attracted to like total trolls, who act like assholes because they managed to land the hunky professor. Why he always seemed surprised that said troll turned into asshole troll, has always puzzled all the kids on campus. 

“He’ll probably be all over MM.” I pout, but then I realize I have a hunky guy to make the professor realize I could land hotness. I overheard him and one of the troll boys saying that no one would date a guy that can’t even get out of sleepwear in the morning, and okay it was troll boy, but Benny really didn’t contradict it. 

“Why would I even care? I mean you're like way hotter and don’t let anyone say shitty things about me. You even bought me Duckies, which makes you way better than a teacher who got me addicted to ‘Stay Awake’ because his speeches were in no way exciting, you know, like you are.” I tell him. Brian seems to be happier, but I think it’s because Regina and Rocky are cleaning Sunny. I pick up Sunny, because she’s just really too young for Rocky to be cleaning that area.

Brian offered to take my mother with us to Deb’s, I hope he’s seeing the spring catalogue for mens wear in her purse, it’s the wedding edition. I tried to grab it and throw it away but Mom shifted the bottomless purse and it slipped all the way into the ‘tunnel of lost items’. I think she actually has like all my teeth, after I lost them, she isn’t a psycho, somewhere in that purse.

I’ve been texting Emmett about all things Ben, we agreed to share any news and really, Emmett’s texts are way less porno than my not boyfriend’s. Although lately it’s about how to muzzle a lesbian, Emmett’s come up with close to fifty ways. 

My mom was giving me the ‘do not hit on your teacher look’ and I point at Brian. Like I’m stupid enough to give that up for a man who barely noticed me. Which only leads to her asking Brian if he likes the new Armani line. I crossed my kitten slipper and refrained from ‘I told you so.” 

The minute we pull up, Mom runs up like she didn’t just spend half the day with Deb. MM walks up wearing what was so like, sixties player. The shirt was at least a button up, but the polyester seems to be offending Brian. The chains and boat shoes just complete the look. Maybe MM should have clued in when Carl mentioned wearing an outfit like MM’s for a Halloween party and I think I’m right because Deb smacked Carl’s ass, and sorry but it hurt to hear, although Carl was all smiles.(S&M is for all ages)  I follow Carl in because I want to see if he’s mastered the art of sitting after Spanking Deb attacks. He starts looking at the kitchen chair and I grab a small pillow which he gratefully accepts and gingerly sit down. Only, unlike me he was still smiling about it.

Brian drags me to the couch to wait with all the others for the guest of honor, or unsuspecting victim, in the MM set up game. When he arrives it was almost embarrassing that I was having a hard time remembering what made him so special in my eyes. I mean, he’s got the goods, but it’s wrapped in boring. I look at Brian who smirks when Ben comes in.

“Hey Ben, long time no see, Miami right?” Brian tells him. NO, NOT MY TEACHER.