JUSTIN

It did not matter how many years have passed, to him the best place in the world was in the arms of his God. His flawed but lovable personal god, Brian Kinney. As he laid in his arms after yet another round, naked and sated, his thoughts begins to go back to the question he was wondering since he saw that commercial about the new movie so he took a deep breath and take the plunge into a potential battlefield.

"Brian, did you ever think about starting over?"

"Starting over from what, Sunshine?" The typical low whisper of his lover reply to his quiet inquiry.

"You know like time travel. Say we are back at a place in time you have not met me yet, would you walk towards me under that lamppost or would you avoid me?"

"Oh, so now you wish you didn't meet me, is that right?" Fuck, not even two sentences in and already in a potential disaster zone.

"No, I can't imagine not having you hear. I love you Brian from that very first night. It's just a thought you know one of those 'what-ifs'. If I knew about that bastard, you bring there every night, or about Chicago... just those kinds of things that I wish I knew then so I can act differently."

"Where did these thoughts even come from, Justin," and that quiet whisper from Brian was the only indication of the hurt and confusion that his husband was feeling. Slowly lifting his head up from Brian's naked shoulder, he see Brian's face that was showing a mix expression of both 'lost-child' and 'self-blame'. Unwinding his arms from around Brian's waist, he place them on either side of Brian's face then move his head so their eyes connect, his blue to his green.

"Brian, stop. Stop blaming yourself. What happened was not your fault. No matter what people told you then or what you told yourself. I am saying that it was not you. You were the one to save me, you being there saved me, you are my saviour not the reason for it. You told me that it was not my fault. If it wasn't my fault then neither it is yours. It's all Hobbs. All those homophobic asshole's. Him and all those at that closet homophobic institution and his parents. Those who bailed him out of his mistakes, who never taught him anything. It was Hunt and Dixon, that Judge Russo and Hobbs. Not you, never you."

"I got it Justin. I got it. No need to start your speeches. Now, what were you saying about this supposed start over?" was Brian's reply as he slowly put his arms around me, and turn on his side so we now touch chest to chest in the middle of our platform bed.

"Just imagine we wake up one day in our younger bodies. We can redo our lives without mistakes. Avoid those wasted years in New York, make more money easier, maybe start Kinnetik early while preventing me from making the biggest mistake of my life with Ethan."

"Ah, the fiddler. No arguments there Sunshine, how you could look at him and think sex has always been a mystery that I never want to solve. But speaking of potential do overs, what about staying away from blond jocks, valet parking the car, or get your education fund out of your father's hands. No matter how hot you looked, I never liked the way you danced in front of those fags during your brief period as a go-go boy. Flaunting that ass that should only belong to me. Not to mention finally getting a chance to punch Craig."

"Why only things that happened with me? What about making sure that you have rights to Gus? Making sure that Mel and Lindsay never took him away from you without permission, that you have rights and can see him. What about you knowing to start cancer screening early?"

"We both got a lots of what-ifs. Remember, Justin. "No excuses, no apologizes, no regrets.' No matter how much of a clusterfuck our life was we have the best. WE are the Kinneys of Pittsburgh who live the dream life of heteros and queers everywhere."

"Life full of amazing sex, a large manor of my dreams, and the longest surviving relationship in the gang, not to mention our awesome kids."

"See those things that we have are just something from a dream to all those queens, A-fags, and those tricks. Nothing anyone has can compare to what we have together. We are millionaires, have a dream house with kids that are both smart and beautiful. We are both young and beautiful. In the words of that annoying blond on TV, we got the best of both worlds. Amazing gay sex while living the heteronormative life."

"No arguments there. We do fucking have the best life. But still, what if we time travel? What do we do? Are we going to keep things the same, not telling each other that we remember till we are absolutely sure."

"You are the planner in this family Sunshine. Don't you have any ideas?"

"Oh, hear that rubber ducky, Daddy said I am the planner. Who's the one that make sure to have a timetable ready every time the entire family goes out with reminders on his cell?"

"So glad that scheduling our trips is a joke to you. So don't tell me the artist in the family doesn't have some creative solution for time travel cluster-fuck."

"Of course, I do. It is actually an a-mazing one."

"Amazing? Really, let's hear it so I can tell judge for myself."

"When we wake up, once we figure out the date, the very first thing we have to do. I will track you down using my amazing stalker skills and call you at your work. I will leave a message asking for an appointment from Britin Manor. The manor is planning some anniversary party and needs your help. The year of the anniversary is how many years I remember since we met. See, the ultimate WASP, subtle but powerful plan."

"So according to your a-mazing plan, if I find myself back in time, I have to wait for a call about a 25th anniversary then I will know that you are also back in time, otherwise just go on living my fucked up life? So how am I suppose to know which number to call back, Sunshine?"

"Simple, old Saint cell means my high school's number, Liberty means the phone you first got me. New York is obvious and West Virginia means our home."

"Good job on that plan. Quick and get the job done. Now are you going to want a reward for your idea or a punishment for wasting time in talking," with that Brian;s lips was on me, licking that spot on my neck that makes me hard instantly while his hands grope my ass, his finger lightly brushing against my hole, slowly making me loose my mind. "Reward or punishment, little boy? Last chance to choose," Brian's deep voice asks me again. Gaining control of my body for a moment against the heat, I look into his eyes once again and simple tell him that I want a reward.

"A reward, little boy for your pretty brain. How about I let you suck my big, hard cock for as long as you want. Then when we both are satisfied, I will give you the best rimming of your life and if you are still good, I will fuck you. That what you want, Sonny Boy?" All I could do was nod my head and slide down my gorgeous husband's body to suck his beautiful cock so he will rim my ass with his talented tongue. Maybe, I can get another round of shower sex afterwards.

Both of them would never know how this conversation will play a significant part in the future. Fifteen years later as both of them were driving down-town to attend their 30th wedding anniversary party, 40 years after they met, they will be in an accident. The Corvette will be struck on both sides due to a van and a truck crashing into each other right in front of them and smash the windows and the bonnet of the Corvette. Brian and Justin bleeding and stuck and slowly loosing their lives because of blood loss turn to face each other into each other's eyes wanting to see that their lover will be the last thing that they see, thinking their apologizes to their children for causing them pain due to their absence as they slip into unconsciousness.