Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain

Once or twice was enough , but it was all in vain

Time starts to pass, before you know it you're frozen

But something happened, for the very first time with you

My heart melts into the ground, found something true

And everyone's looking round, thinking I'm going crazy*

Pittsburgh, March 2007

Fuck! If I don't finish this shit, I m going to miss my plane and have one seriously pissed off blond to contend with. And no one needs a "Stormy Sunshine," equipped with mumbles, grumbles and the silence. The silence or monosyllabic answers are the worst. I think I would just rather him yell but then we've always been better at non-verbal communication. Fortunately there has been a helluva lot of that these past six months. That night in September seems like it happened almost a lifetime ago. The ironic part is that I had spent part of the day in Toronto and at the last minute decided to book a flight to New York. Justin's address was fairly easy to get by threatening Theodore to fire him or to kill him if he didn't keep his mouth shut about why I wanted the information in the first place. I knew I could trust him but it always helped to have a little extra leverage with Ted especially where Michael and Emmett was concerned. Although he's happily married to Blake, I always thought he still carried the torch of unrequited love for Michael. Emmy Lou would end up trying to play matchmaker if he knew and that I didn't need or want. So it was easier for me to just threaten Ted under the penalty of death to keep his mouth shut about Justin and I. God knows we'd already had enough interference over the years and whereas sometimes it was a good thing, most of the time it wasn't- it was more of a nuisance.

"Cynthia, can you call Fred in the Art department and tell him if I don't have the slides for the new Brown campaign in five minutes, he's fired."

"Sure, Brian. Meanwhile, Michael is here to see you."

"Fuck! Send him in. Let's hope he makes it quick. I've gotta get to the Loft, grab my bag and catch that fucking plane. Have you put in the call to the car service yet?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kinney, but did I just meet you yesterday?" Cynthia answered snarkily. Strangely I like it when she does that.

"Alright, I forgot for second who I was talking to. Get to Fred and let me deal with this shit. And tell Ted I need to see him, too. He'll know why."

What the fuck does Michael want this time? Ordinarily, I wouldn't be so annoyed but I'm already running behind schedule due to the incompetency of others and sometimes he...

"Hey, Mikey. What brings you by?" The sooner I move this impromptu meeting along, the sooner I can go.

"What? I have to have a reason to stop by your office now?"

"It's not that but I'm extremely busy so what's wrong?"

"Nothing actually. Ben and I was hoping you could carve out a little time from your schedule to join us for dinner. We have an announcement to make." He smiled brightly at me, looking so hopeful.

Part of me feels really bad for having to decline but the other part...H'm not so much. Justin and I have been reduced to nightly phone sex for the past three months and our window of opportunity is more important right now. Nothing short of Gus will stop me from getting on that plane.

"Sorry but I have a plane to catch in about three hours."

"Oh. Where to this time? Gay Mardi-Gras in Australia or are you zipping across the ocean to Ibiza again?"

He's still smiling but it's a little tight now so I know he isn't happy but hey.. I haven't really been part of his world for awhile now in the same way I used to be. I can't say I regret that because my priorities have changed and we're just on different paths in our lives.

"What kind of announcement?"

"Ben got asked on a book tour. It seems his book "The Gift Giver" has reached international success and the publisher has book a tour over in Europe."

"That's great, Mikey. My congratulations to the Professor. When do you leave?"

"See that's the thing, Brian. We're leaving Sunday."

Ted walked in with his head buried in the file I was waiting for. Before I could alert him to my unsolicited guest he spoke. "Brian, Cynthia said you needed to see me like now before you miss your flight to New York."

"New York?" Michael incredulous and whiny voice reached my ears. Anytime that state was mentioned he had a bunch of shit to say and now Theodore had unwittingly fucked up the peace.

He finally looked up recognizing that it wasn't me who spoke. Schmuck! "Oh hi, Michael." He must have realized what he let slip because he did a double take looking between Michael and I. He handed me the portfolio and was about to leave the office.

"Stay there, Ted. I need to go over these figures with you." Turning toward Michael, I answered, "Yes. I am going to New York and I will not be back for the next two weeks."

"What are you going to New York for? Are you going to see that fucking twink?" He stood there belligerant with his arms folded petulantly across his chest. Part of me was tempted to put him in the corner and place a 'Dunce' cap on his head since he wanted to act like a child but no matter how humorous the image, I really didn't have time to placate him and his 'jealous mistress' routine. 

Taking a couple of surreptitious deep breaths, I'd hoped he would get my message loud and clear. Unfortunately, Mikey was always one you had to either treat with kid gloves or spell out the realities harshly. This was one of the times for harsh measures.

"First of all the ‘fucking twink' has a name. It's Justin. Secondly, it's really none of your fucking business why I'm going to New York. Just that I am. Whether I see Justin or not is again, none of your fucking business. End of discussion."

"But Brian-"

"What part of end of discussion was not clear, Michael? Now again, I have a plane to catch. I wish you a safe journey with the Professor on his book tour. Be sure to take lots of pictures and bring the kids back a few souvenirs." Crossing over to him, I ushered him toward the door during my speech and gave him the requisite kiss and hug as I shoved him none-too-gently through it. As always, he left me very little choice in how he needed to be dealt with. You would think he would have learned in all these years...

"Sorry about that, Brian. I didn't know he was even here," Ted said.

"Sorry's bullshit. He would have eventually found out that I wasn't going to be at his little dinner party tonight. Better it happened now than you all be given the third degree later. He'll get over it. Now is everything ready for my stay and the other matters?"

That seemed to snap Ted right out of his revere about the scene he'd just witnessed. "Everything has been arranged. The company apartment within the Trump has been aired out and cleaned thoroughly. I didn't think you would want to do the Langston this time. Some celeb wedding is going on this weekend and you wouldn't have been able to get in or out of the area. Anyway, I also set up a couple of Realtors appointments for you to see some properties that way you can actually feel like you're working when you aren't. We know you don't know how to relax even though you are in New York to do just that."

I'm always in awe of Ted's ability to organize the financial planning phase of my business which often includes impromptu trips and extended stays. And when did he get to know me so well? "The properties on paper look good and the specs seem like they would be met in either case. I'll check them out while Justin's busy painting or with his agent. By the way thanks for bringing these, too." I held up the slides I'd been waiting over three hours for. "Why didn't Fred bring them down here himself?"

"Brian-"

"The truth, Theodore. I promise not to fire you." I topped it off with a smirk so he would know I was serious. It's not his fault that Fred is slacking.

"Well if honesty is what you want, here it is, Bri: You have been an asshole for the last three weeks and I mean that in the most loving way possible." He expelled a harsh breath and rolled his heavenward in classic Ted Schmidt fashion. "Look...no one other than Cynthia and I know the reasons you have been extremely harsh with the staff. So go to New York and deal with Justin. When the time comes to get back to running the company, maybe you'll be calmer."

"Who says I'm not calm? I work hard and I expect everyone else to as well. I don't think that's so unreasonable, Ted."

Ted looked at me squarely, something I just noticed he's rarely done in the last month. Jesus is he right? "No one denies that you work just as hard if not more than the rest of us, Brian. In fact many- myself sometimes included- admire your tenacity and determination to succeed and move this company forward. That said, you can be quite a tyrant."

"A tyrant?"

"Hitler, Stalin, Caesar and Genghis Khan had nothing on you during those moments, Brian." Damn he compared me to Hitler? What the fuck? "That said, we all know you could use a vacation. So get out of here and let Cynthia and I do what you pay us exceptionally well to do which is run the company in your absence. Go enjoy yourself and more importantly go enjoy Sunshine."

I nodded because honestly there wasn't anything else I could do. Tricking, which had always gotten me through rough patches before, especially when Justin was in California, weren't cutting it for me lately. But before I go... "Listen, Ted, about the whole Justin thing. No one is to know about it except you, Cynthia and Emmett." I just decided that Ted is going to need the kind of help that only Emmett Honeycutt could provide. He had a way that was honest enough to say what needed to be said but in a way that only a southerner could deliver it...sweetly and at the same time scathingly. I had been on the receiving end of that once when Theodore was arrested. I had to admire him for standing up to me the way he did. That's what really made me want to help Ted. I would've helped him anyway but behind the scenes like I always did. Talking to Stockwell directly wasn't in the plan until Emmett-- then Mrs. Ted Schmidt-- came into my office at Vanguard and delivered a set-down that Lana Turner would have been proud of. Even though I'd never tell him that. He's a big enough Queen already. "But tell Emmett to keep quiet about it." 

"Why? You and Justin were going to be married. It would stand to reason that you would continue seeing each other."

"Really? Did you just see Michael's reaction? If you confirm instead of pleading the fifth or outright denying it, Justin and I will be over before we can really see where this goes."

"What do you mean, Brian? Justin loves you and I'll dare say that you feel the same. Why hide that?"

"Someday I'll explain it all to you, Ted but he specifically asked that no one know we've picked up again. You and Cyn had to be included for obvious reasons but no one else. Somehow I don't think he'll mind Emmett knowing too. Other than me, Emmy Lou's his gay best friend and fits a role sort of like Daphne does for him."

"So what do you want me to do about Michael tonight? You know everyone is going to be there."

He had a point. At news of Michael and Ben's impending departure even the Munchers are going to race across the border. Shit they may already be in Pittsburgh. I fucking gotta go. "Tell the truth without telling the truth. Meaning, yes I went to New York but as far as you know my schedule is full of meetings with clients which really isn't that far from the truth."

Ted nodded his head and smiled at me. "It's not lying, if they make you lie."

"Exactly, Theodore. Now get out of here. I have a plane to catch."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile in NYC...

Trying hard not to hear, but they talk so loud

Their piercing sounds fill my ears, try to fill me with doubt

Yet I know the goal, is to keep me from falling*

There is both a blessing and a curse in having clandestine meetings with Brian Kinney. The blessing: to know that he hasn't forgotten me despite the year and a half we hadn't seen each other. It's gratifying to know that I am both desired and desirable to him and that I get to have him all to myself without the family interrupting and scrutinizing every action or the words spoken or not. The curse is that he or I always have to leave and that I have an incessant horniness that no other trick can satisfy. Yeah we have our fair share of phone sex after we discuss the rigors of our day. Hearing him cum from my words is a very potent aphrodisiac but then the man is a walking wet dream, so that's no surprise. It's just that there is nothing in this world that can compare to feeling him. Still contrary to popular belief amongst those who are supposed to know us best, it's not just sex between he and I. Although I can't deny he makes me chronically dick-hungry, he and I actually have conversations- really deep conversations- that include just about everything which touches our lives, including business.

When we started these meetings, I wasn't sure it would work. It was nice having him here every other weekend but then he got really busy and so did I. I'd had commissions to do, art openings to attend for new artists, taking a few classes to finish up my degree for art school and my own work to finish for my own show which happened at the beginning of the year. That was weird and exciting and it was more so because he flew in. No one but Daphne and my mom knew he was here and of course they'd been sworn to secrecy. On his end only, Cynthia and Ted know what has been going on between he and I. I like it that way. Too many people were involved with what we were doing; it's no wonder we fell apart. But we didn't really, I guess. Maybe it's true what I've always heard my grandmother say: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. All I know is that having the option to resume our relationship as we've defined it, has been freeing in a sense. When he and I come together it's hot and sexy and fun. There's no pressure or demands beyond an ever-ready cock. And when he leaves, it sucks but I always know that he'll be back or that I'll sneak into the Pitts unnoticed. Seeing him also reaffirms my resolve to become his equal in every way.

"Justin, what are you thinking about over there?"

"Nothing much, Daph. Did I tell you that you'll have the whole apartment to yourself for a couple of weeks?" She'd transfered here to complete her medical degree.

At first, her folks were worried about her coming here. After all this is New York and the entire city is the very definition of distraction. There's always someplace to go, something to see and someone to do. Yet Daph graduated Carnegie Mellon in the top two percent of her class regardless of all the college parties she attended. She'd even managed to blackmail me into attending a few. It was good having her here though. Lucas had gotten his dream job in Spain as a sous chef to some guy who cooks for the rich and famous over there. If Daphne hadn't decided to transfer when she did, I would have ended up with someone it would have taken time to get to know. No thank you.

She answered snarkily. "Yes you've only told me that you wouldn't be here a gazillion and one times. I just hope you know what you're doing, Justin. I don't want to see you hurt again."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes heavenward. This was the same speech my mom gave when I told her that Brian and I would be trying a different spin on our non-relationship, which will still enable me to work full-time on my career but keep the man I love beyond reason in my life. "I won't be, Daphne. Brian and I are in this with eyes wide open."

"And what if he decides this time that the arrangement no longer serves him, Justin? What if he says he's tired of traveling from Pittsburgh here and decides that it's time to go your own ways? What then?"

Her words pained me but I stood stoically. Brian and I had talked about it. "Then it would be fine, Daphne. It's his decision just as it is mine. When it no longer serves its purpose then it's finished. No apologies, no excuses and no regrets; it's just done but we'll always be friends regardless."

My stomach growled again as I looked at the clock noting the time and mentally calculating how long it would take to get from the apartment to the airport. Thankfully Brian had the forethought to include me when he ordered the limo. I never would have been able to get to La Guardia Airport with my rather large duffel bag. Taking out the turkey, cheese and mayo, I grabbed the bread and got busy trying to keep the incessant growling to a minimum. I offered to fix Daphne one, too but she declined.

"Justin-"

"Daph, don't," I said the warning clear in my voice but seeing the dejected look on her face I had to ease her mind. I didn't want to see her hurt especially by my hand; not when she is trying to protect me in her own way. "Daph, you know I never make a move unless I've thought of everything and re-rationalized it then killed it, resurrected it through mental CPR and repeated the process until I come to a decision. You know me better than anyone except perhaps Brian himself."

She nodded and the tension in my shoulders relaxed marginally.I didn't think she was placated one damn bit.

"Fine but what do you want out of all this, Justin? If your career keeps the upward mobility it's gaining, you guys may not be able to see each other as much as you do now. Are you really prepared for that and more importantly, is he?"

I chewed my sandwich processing all that she said. She was right. That was the one topic we had avoided. Not because we intentionally omitted it but because we were laying out other terms and doing what we do in our own way- he presents a scenario, I say ‘no fucking way'-and then we end up fucking not having decided anything. "Well it looks like we'll have something to talk about after I blow him and fuck his brains out."

"Ewww. TMI, Justin. Seriously." She shook her head and I burst out laughing.

"Don't ‘Ewww Justin' me. The grunting and squeaking mattress from your room the other night were pretty good indicators that I wasn't the only one in this apartment with dick on the brain or wanting dick in me-"

"Damn it, Justin! Now my glass of milk doesn't taste right."

I laughed harder then glad to have avoided a potentially friend-ending- well at least for three hours- argument. "Look Daph, I know you'll be worried that Brian will push me off the infamous Kinney Cliff which he has managed to throw all of our close friends and family over one time or another, including you if I recall.

"Yeah I remember being pushed off Mount St. Kinney very well which is how I actually came to be in New York with you." She laughed at the memory. "I'd snuck outside on the day of graduation to call you but ran into Brian instead which I thought was strange at first. He'd bought me a check as a graduation gift. You always said he believed in celebrating accomplishment and he said he couldn't think of one better than me graduating college. We sat down and he asked me what my plans were. I asked him for an impartial view on telling my parents that I wanted to study here. Before I could give him all the reasons my folks would not agree, your mom had come to look for me and found us. When I introduced him to my parents, he boldly said that we were just speaking about me continuing my education at Weill Medical College or NYU. They were dumbfounded because I had yet to bring it up. I wanted to drop straight through the floor but it worked out. Had he not put me in that awkward position in the first place, I don't think I would have ever told them what I wanted as opposed to just living how they wanted me to live."

"Yeah, Brian has a way of doing things that requires the people he considers friends- family really- to live their best life."

"Well you're making strides everyday, Justin. He would be proud of you."

I nodded. "I've learned to accept that he may never tell me that but he shows it."

"I know he does judging by that silly, goofy look that you have on your face."

I laughed. "I don't have a goofy look on my face. The last thing I can be in reference to Brian Kinney is doe-eyed and innocent. I'll leave that for Michael."

"Speaking of which..." she picked up my cell phone which I hadn't even realized was ringing. "You should call him back. It says four missed calls."

"Yeah I guess I should. You don't think anything happened with Debbie do you?"

She shrugged as she handed me the phone.

"...Hey Michael. Everything okay?"

"...Why would Brian be here with me?"

"...Oh-I hadn't heard he was coming to New York. I think it's great that Ben has a book tour. When do you leave?"

"...Wow Sunday, huh? That soon? Sorry I won't be able to say goodbye to Ben."

"...Honestly it isn't any of your business if he and I see each other or not but if we do, we do. If we don't we don't."

"...Look Michael, Brian is a grown man. He does what and who he wants. If you have an issue with that then you should probably talk to him about it."

"...You know what I'm not doing this with you. Have a safe trip, Michael. Goodbye."

"I take it Michael is none too happy that you and Brian will be occupying the same state."

I shook my head. "Michael isn't happy that Brian and I are occupying the same continent but he can just get the fuck over it. He's seriously co-dependent. I mean here he is married, legally in Toronto and in a civil union here in the States, yet he still feels that he has a monopoly on Brian."

"And do you feel that way, too?"

I rolled my eyes at her question but answered honestly. "It took me a long time to figure out why Brian refused to acknowledge that we actually have or had a relationship. It keeps us from hurting each other or harboring ill will of any kind especially if we don't work out for whatever reason."

"But you've hurt each other anyway so I'm not understanding," she said.

"He only hurt me when I didn't see what he was trying to show me. I hurt him by refusing to see it. By not having an acknowledged ‘lock' on our relationship, we both had the freedom to choose each other daily as opposed to being in something we didn't want to be."

"But he still asked you to marry him?"

"Yeah. In part because he thought it was something I wanted. The other reason was he was scared to lose me. at least that's how I saw it at the time."

"Brian? Scared? Have you been smoking that eighty bucks for an eighth of chronic he smokes? You must have hit that good shit really hard to think Brian Kinney is scared of anything."

I laughed. "No, I haven't touched the stash he left me. I just understand him a lot better now and certainly better than our so called friends. The fact that he wasn't willing to lock me into something which no longer served me was the greatest gift he could have ever given me. It gave me freedom."

"So where does that leave you both now? Do you still want marriage?"

" It leaves us exactly where we want to be; with each other but without the worry of obligation. We may revisit the idea of marriage someday but it's not really a priority for me anymore. Brian and I really aren't like Mel and Lindz or Michael and Ben. We see life differently than they do. It's enough for me to know that he loves me, whether he acknowledges it verbally or not and I think it's always been that way for him, too. Actions show what words hide most of the time. Speaking of which...I better get myself to the airport before he thinks I'm not as anxious to see him as he is to see me. He should be landing in about an hour."

"'So what happens if either of you begin to want more?"

"I guess we'll discuss it when and if that ever happens but for right now I'm content just to have time with him, uninterrupted and uninhibited. I think we've both earned that." I grabbed my garment bag and duffel, gave Daphne a hug and kiss and left the apartment.

But nothing's greater, than the rush that comes with your embrace

And in this world of loneliness, I see your face

Yet everyone around me, thinks that I'm going crazy*

"Mr. Kinney's plane should be arriving on time, Mr. Taylor."

"Thanks, Sal. I think I'll try to take a brief nap before we get there. Can you wake me about ten minutes before our arrival?"

"Sure thing Mr. Taylor."

I laid my head back and closed my eyes but sleep didn't come easy at all. My mind was filled with the well-meaning questions Daphne had asked and the vicious probing of one Michael Charles Novotny. I swear if I could have gone through the phone and choked him, I would have. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to respond to his snide comments and subtle innuendos. His whiny voice grated on my nerves as hearing someone scratch on a chalkboard would. For some reason, he refuses to let Brian grow up without his interference. I guess I could say the same thing about Lindsey, too but it's a different kind of box Lindsey's placed him in. With Michael, it's like Brian can't even take a piss without him having to know about it or he must try to talk Brian out of an action he has nothing to do with. Hopefully he won't reach across the ocean to try doing the same. All of them are guilty of placing limits on Brian and yeah maybe I've been a little guilty of that, too. Part of me wanted him to change and then when he did, I got scared. He was turning into a Stepford fag when I just wanted the person I'd fell in love with under a street lamp so long ago. Based on the examples of relationships before him, it was no wonder why he became a pod person.

What should have only taken twenty minutes on the Bruckner/Grand Central Expressway ended up taking forty-five minutes to reach La Guardia in East Elmhurst. For some reason, the same construction that had began when I first arrived almost two years ago, still isn't complete but whatever. The traffic just trying to find the correct terminal from the highway was enough to make Brian queenout. He was never the most patient man I'd ever met. I practically jumped out of the car while it was still moving in order to reach the baggage claim on time. I never brought him to the airport when he was leaving, preferring not to think about his return trip to Pittsburgh but I absolutely had to be here for his arrival. I arrived at the baggage claim for Liberty Air just as he was coming out of the passenger area. I watched his eyes search for me; saw the immediate recognition and instantaneous heat flare in them. I felt the urgency of his walk as he reached me, pulling me into his embrace. Inhaling deeply I smelled the hint of his aftershave, his cologne and the scent that was uniquely his own. Home. It was what Brian always was to me. Home.

"Hey," I said reluctant to let go but also realizing that we had to get out of the sea of humanity swarming to pick up their own luggage.

"Hey Sunshine," he said his eyes holding mine captive. God I have missed this man.

"We should probably get going. Traffic was a bitch getting here. I'm almost sure it will be about the same or worse getting back into Manhattan."

We grabbed his garment bag and headed toward the exit. The silence would have been awkward if I didn't know what he was thinking especially when he looked at me. Every nerve ending on my body stood at attention as he continually perused me. Never one to feel intimidated in the presence of Brian Kinney, I returned his regard, biting and licking my bottom lip and making my intentions explicitly clear. He got the message, indicated by that sexy eyebrow lift he does and the subtle twist of his lips. Sal finally pulled the car to the curb and Brian tossed his luggage carelessly in the trunk of the limo. Climbing in behind me, he kissed me urgently and I returned it. God have mercy but he felt so damn good. Brian pulled away from me briefly as Sal pulled out into traffic.

"How long before we reach the hotel, Sal?"

"Based on the time it took us to get here, I would say about forty-five minutes to get to the Trump in So Ho, Mr. Kinney."

Pressing the button to roll up the partition, Brian leaned into me again. He held me firmly as he dragged me across the seat to straddle his lap.

"Careful of your suit, Brian. The last thing you want to do is go into the hotel in a rumpled Armani."

"Fuck the suit," he said succinctly.

I laughed because I couldn't help it. It was such a Brian to say. "Although we both know you belong there, you might as well look like you do."

"Well what about you? You look like an artist."

"I am an artist," I reminded him laughingly. "Besides there are a lot of galleries down there and I bought my Boss suit just in case. I figured if we were going out for dinner, I'd change beforehand."

"Do you want to go out for dinner?" he asked applying his lips just under my chin where he knew I liked.

"I would rather be dinner."

"Damn you're wicked. First you all but tell me I can't fuck you in here then you offer for me to bite, lick and swallow you." He punctuated each word with the accompanying action as I tried over and over to suppress the moans bubbling up.

"I learned from the master," I said.

It was Brian's turn to laugh. "Good one, Grasshopper. So what would you like to do since we have to wait to fuck?"

I thought a moment and then smiled innocently. "I just said that you couldn't get rumpled. I never said I couldn't blow you."

Brian smiled back at me while shaking his head. "Still incorrigible. Well go to it and who knows...I may even have time to return the favor from the way this traffic looks."

I slid off the bench seat onto my knees in front of him. My eyes drank him in, some part of me refusing to believe that he was really here and not just another of the numerous wet dreams I'd had since September last year. He must have had the same feeling because when he grabbed my nape, his fingers dug in creating a painful pleasure. Suppressing another moan, I leaned in and kissed him. Kissing Brian was like watching him eat ice cream. Enthralling. Seductive. Sensual. He tasted faintly of smoke and Johnny Walker Black label and that special something that is undeniably Brian. I can't understand how I've managed to live without the taste of him these past months. The moan I've been trying to keep at bay finally passes my lips as our tongues wrestle briefly for dominance until I let mine be caught, captured and subdued. I could almost cum with the way he sucks my tongue into his mouth. As with every time I kiss him, I welcome the foggy and faintly dizzy feeling, as if he's pulling tension I never knew I had out of me only to replace it with a slightly intoxicated feeling. He feeds me his moans as I whimper trying unsuccessfully to get closer. My hands which are planted firmly in his hair grip and pull at the strands desperately, flexing my fingers against his scalp as the kiss picks up in speed and intensity. My temperature spikes as he explores every nook and cranny of my mouth and throat. The craving to taste the rest of Brian is uncontrollable and honestly, I don't want to control it. I want to indulge it, revel in; unleash that which has been held in check for far too long. He creates a thirst and hunger in me that can never be satisfied completely. He is the only one I have met or hooked up with that can render me totally and completely insatiable. Even after he has fucked me so hard and so much that I can barely stand, sit or crawl all I want is... more.

My hands fly to his groin, at first rubbing him vigorously through the soft material of his slacks. The silky feel of the fabric glides under my palm as a find his member, mercilessly caressing it through his clothes.

"Justin, please-"

He's panting and I'm loving knowing that he is as desperate and turned on as I am to have his beautiful dick down my throat. His eyes haven't left mine as I continue to jerk his fully clothed cock off while I whisper for him not to come. It's been awhile for him, possibly as long as it's been for me. I can tell by his hypersensitive reaction to my touch. His last groan tells me how close he is and he's chewing on his bottom lip to keep from blowing his load in his pants instead of where we both want it. Never breaking eye contact, I go ahead and release him while relishing his reaction to not only being free from the constriction of Armani but to the cool air coming through the window I cracked to add to the sensations. Being as much a sensualist as Brian had its perks and I was always a quick study. He became even harder as the air breezed passed over the head of his weeping cock. He closed his eyes to steady himself against the feeling but I wouldn't let him regain his senses as I chose that moment to deep-throat him.

"Ugh!"

The loud grunt which escaped him was so gratifying to hear. I repeat the action, pulling him out of the hot cavern of my mouth to let the cooler air heighten his excitement before delving in again. On the downstroke I hollow my cheeks while letting my tongue massage his balls. My hands creep under his shirt to play with his nipples while I swallow around his cock. I have dreamed of this for too many nights to let it end quickly. His gaspy moans are coming quicker by the second so I back off, giving his body a chance to calm before I begin all over again. Adding a little pain to his pleasure, I run my nails firmly down the front of his chest eliciting a slight hiss from him. One of his hands is tangled firmly in my hair as he subtly tries to control the exchange by pumping his hips upward. I grip them hard to still them and resume sucking him. With his hips firmly imprisoned in my hands he can't ease himself by moving nor can he rush me. I decide to take him down my throat and keep him there, swallowing around it ever so often or lashing his slit with my tongue.

"Oh God, Justin. Please-"

I smile at him with my mouth full of him. He knows what I am doing. I'm staking my claim- marking my territory even though it has been marked for six years now. A reminder never hurt anyone especially not in the case of Brian Kinney. I acknowledge him smugly even knowing that he will find ways to pay me back for this torment which I ultimately look forward to. Winking at him, I decided to give him the release he desperately needs. Once again I set to the business of pleasing him, allowing my teeth to graze the nerve endings ever so often and causing his pelvis to jerk upward...hard. I release his hips from the prison of my hands and let him pull and tug at my hair as if they are reins while he rides my mouth hellbent for leather. It's times like these that I am extremely grateful for not having a gag reflex. It allows him to pound as much and as hard as he wants without the ‘unthinkable' happening. I notice the change in his breathing, which as become shallow, his gasps are coming in rapid succession and his pupils are dilated- looking more glittering green than brown or gold. If I could, I would jerk off while catering to him but that's impossible thanks to my own partial fixation on very unforgiving cargo pants. It's okay though because this is for him.

"Justin. Justin. Justin!"

Yes! I love it when in the midst of his orgasm, he chants MY name and no other. I missed that, missed this and all it entails. Anyone can give Brian a blow job. Hell countless people have, countless people will and countless people want to but none of them are me. As I kneel here drinking down his essence, I know that and strangely I'm at peace with it. Maybe it's because I know who holds his heart. I remember the words he spoke when he first fucked me: ‘I want you to always remember this so that no matter who you're ever with, I'll always be there.' I guess this is my way of ensuring the edict isn't just one sided and never will be. My oral fixation is telling on me- the temptation to suck him hard and drain him dry all over again is strong- but I know we have to be nearing the hotel by now. So I reluctantly tuck him back in and help him to readjust his clothes; make sure his hair shows no signs that my fingers have been mercilessly assaulting the luxurious strands so that ‘Brian Kinney high-powered business man' is firmy back in place. As for me, I'm as adjusted for this moment as I'm going to get- a hard and horny twink- at least in the gay public's eyes but Brian knows differently. It's why I'm still around and have no plans as of yet to go anywhere.

And it's draining all of me

Or they find it hard to believe

I'll be wearing these scars, for everyone to see

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away, but they don' t know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing

You cut me open and I keep bleeding love*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Pass Interference in Pittsburgh....

Ted and Emmett arrive at Vittorios for Michael and Ben's Bon Voyage party only to bear witness to the major queen-out of Michael Novotny.

"Do you know what that little shit had the nerve to say to me, Ma? ‘Honestly Michael it isn't any of your business if we see each other or not. If we do, we do. If we don't, we don't.' Just who the fuck does Justin think he is?"

Emmett just shook his head and subtly rolled his eyes. He was happy Justin decided to stand up to Michael who was always petulant and overbearing where Brian and Justin were concerned. No one had been happy to see Justin go except Michael, although he tried to hide it behind his innocent facade. Brian just went along to keep Michael from giving him shit about it but Emmett knew Brian missed Justin terribly and vice versa. When they visited Justin in New York for his first art showing, Emmett's heart broke for Justin as he covered his feelings about the one person he wanted there not appearing. Emmett would have loved to hate Brian and give him the scathing dressing down Debbie had done in his absence but he knew better. While dancing the night away at Therapy, Emmett had given Brian a detailed account of everything that happened including what Justin wore and how he looked...even if he looked like he was eating properly and getting enough rest all the while watching Justin self-medicate with E, Jim Beam and men in the backroom. When Emmett had thought Justin had enough pain management, they went out for a bite to eat along with Ted and Daphne, deliberately excluding Michael. Justin didn't need his brand of bullshit that night and he still didn't.

With that in mind Emmett let Ted step in to deal with the jealous housewife who was married to someone else. As Kinnetik's CFO, he had an uncanny ability to defend Brian and his business while still covering for Brian which would not be disputed under any circumstances.

"All ready for your big trip, Michael?" Ted said by way of introduction into Michael's rant.

"Yeah, Ted. I can't believe Brian ditched my party to go to New York. You know this isn't the first time he's done this and to top it all off, he isn't even answering his cell phone."

"Well you know Michael, Brian probably hasn't landed yet and even if he did, he has a full schedule beginning with a business dinner in about an hour. But I couldn't help but overhear...why did you call Justin?"

"I wanted to know if he and Brian had plans to see each other while he's there. Why?"

"That was my next question to you. Why should it matter to you? You're about to go to...Where are you guys going again?"

"Europe," Michael answered distantly. "The book tour starts in Budapest. We'll be gone for almost six months."

"Well now see there you go, Michael. While Brian will be entertaining boring suits and working for a living, you will be touring Europe. Who do you think has the better deal?"

Emmett snickered at the veiled reference to Michael's mixed up priorities which of course went right over Michael's head. He could have stayed and worked to make the store's revenue better so that he could send Mel a bit more for little JR but he was more concerned about being with Ben for the six months he'd be away. "I think I could use a Cosmo. Ready, Teddy?"

"More than, Em. You coming, Michael?" Ted asked, walking off and not waiting for an answer.

Em whispered to him. "You handled that really well, Teddy. I'm proud of you."

Ted smiled acknowledging the compliment. "I learned from the Master."

"The Brian Kinney School of Evasion and Diversionary Tactics? Remind me to sign up for the ‘Sarcasm with Style' seminar, will you?"

Both of them burst out laughing and grabbing their drinks, Em and Ted stood by the bar watching the rest of the drama unfold until it was time for dinner. Round two of Where's Brian and Who's he doing? was coming up since Melanie and Lindsey had arrived from Toronto.

"Ted, sweetie, you up for one more? Looks like Michael just told Lindz where Brian is," Emmett pointed out and judging by the look on Lindsey's face, it was going to be two petulant children sulking at the dinner table. Lindsey and Michael literally looked like they lost their best friend.

Ted sighed. "It seems I have to stay up, working for Brian Kinney and not in a positive, life-affirming way either." He just hoped that Brian would be able to enjoy his time with Justin. It would make all the subterfuge truly worth it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Secrets and Bri in New York

They never did make it to dinner, opting to order room service instead. Brian suggested it stating that since it was their first time seeing each other in months, he didn't feel like sharing Justin not even with a restaurant full of strangers. He didn't receive any complaints in return. Justin was perfectly happy to prance around the hotel room naked while munching on whatever Brian ordered as long as it included a burger and fries. Once they'd finished dinner, Brian settled on the couch in the suite while situating Justin in between his legs. Talking softly and holding hands, Brian got caught up on the main events in Justin's life and vice versa. As was their custom they discussed business and school concerns. Although Brian was technically on vacation, he still had a few clients to see while he was in New York and Justin had a few art openings to attend, some for himself; others for newer artists. In addition to that he needed to find a new agent and another attorney. The one he had right then was a pain in his ass, not negotiating the terms of each contract in the specific way Justin laid out figuring he was just a kid and didn't know the difference.

"The idiot has costs me more than a few thousand dollars."

"How much is a ‘few,'" Brian asked.

Justin hesitated before answering. "Ball park figure by my calculations is about twenty of them. The fucked up thing is that they were willing to pay me my asking price. I really think the fucker is embezzling the money but I can't prove it."

"Well then it's time to get rid of him. Did you sign a contract?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah. It's up in a couple of weeks which is also the reason I want to find a new agent as well. I would rather sever all ties with him and those affiliated with him."

"That's smart business, Sunshine but isn't the art world a lot like publishing books where everyone knows everyone. How are you going to find another on such notice without contacts in the New York art scene?"

"I already have a prospect for the attorney. Her name is Myrna Singleton and she's a fan of my work. The reason I wanted to interview another is for comparison but honestly, I think she would work in my favor. Finding an agent will be a bit more difficult. In the meantime I started a business which has been doing okay so far. It's nothing big but redesigning company logos is another method of advertising my work and getting paid to do so. I actually run it a lot like Kinnetik in that the designs are all original and per my contract directly with the companies, they pay me a fee up front then after a year the contract can be renewed and they can decide whether they want to pay me yearly for use of the copyrighted work."

Brian kissed the top of his head. One of the things he'd always loved about Justin Taylor was his ambition and his ability to see an opportunity to make himself better. He was right not to go to Dartmouth the way his father had wanted him to, primarily because it would have been a wasted experience. If Justin had questions he would be very specific in the phrasing to get the desired answer. Other than that, the acumen he needed to make a success of himself and help his business to grow, was a skill Justin was born with and it was something no school could teach him.

"I think Lindsey mentioned something about this to me the last time I went up to visit Gus. I like the idea and if you don't mind, I'd really like to send a few clients your way from time to time. I often get clients who can't afford the Kinnetik fee so I have to turn them down. The problem is that they have the potential to be great companies but don't initially have the financial backing. She doesn't know that we've seen each other or are still seeing each other. Emmett does though."

Justin nodded. "I don't mind that she and the others don't know. Cynthia, Ted and Emmett are different cases. The first two happen to be involved in your business so it's only right. As far as Em goes, there's a good chance that he'll help Ted run interference so it's best that he's at least told where you are so he can help evade the truth as we know it."

"You don't seem worried that he'll tell anyone or let it slip."

"That's because I'm not," Justin said matter-of-factly. "The one thing you have never learned about Emmett- which amazes me really since you've known him longer- is that if you ask him to keep your confidence, he'll take your secret to the grave."

Brian slyly asked, "So-um- what have you told him?"

Justin laughed. "Nice try, Old Man but I'm not telling."

"You're sure you won't tell me of your own free will?"

Justin shifted his body around to face Brian, smile firmly planted. "Absolutely not."

"Even under tickle torture?" Brian jabbed Justin in his ribs causing his body to jerk in response.

"Not even then but you forget something, Mr. Kinney."

"And what's that?" Brian asked applying his finger to the same spot causing a little giggle to escape Justin.

"That you are just as ticklish as I am."

And an all out war was waged between Brian and Justin until they both collapsed against each other in exhaustion and horniness.

"God, I have missed you," Brian said breathlessly.

Equally exhausted, Justin answered. "It's your own fault but I understand."

Brian pulled him close, silently agreeing with Justin's assessment but he'd had things to do and he wouldn't trust anyone else to see to the renovations of Britin. He wouldn't even tell Justin that he kept the house because he knew Justin would want to pack everything up and move even as they laid there. He had a great momentum going. The house would be there when he was ready to live in it full-time no matter how long it took. In the meantime on Justin's incognito trips to the Pitts they would stay in the loft.

"Remind me to leave the new alarm code with you before..."

"Tell you what..give it to me now so I can lock it in the phone. That way we don't have to talk about the inevitable," Justin responded, trying to keep the lightness of the moments before in his voice. "Why did you change the code anyway?"

"I got tired of the revolving door." Justin looked at him as if he'd grown an extra head. "What?"

"I just never thought that would happen is all."

"Why would you say that?" When Justin hesitated, Brian encouraged him to continue. "You can be honest you know."

"It's just that for five years that code has been the exact same. We talked about changing it countless times and never did."

Brian nodded. He was right, they had talked about it and then Brian would never get around to it. Then Brian had rebelled against it saying that it was just one more thing for him to remember. There was always a reason not to change it. It was almost as if the code defined his identity in some way. It seemed like such a simple thing but the code had actually meant freedom to him. 0713 was the day soccer practice started; the day he moved into the dorm at the Carnegie and escaped Jack and Joan's clutches for good. Every time he punched in that code to the access the loft- his home- he mentally sighed in relief knowing he was one day further away from the hell he'd grown up in. So yeah, it was hard to change but not anymore.

With Michael feeling it was his duty to drop by all the time for reasons unknown, it had become a nuisance. Last week he'd stepped out of the shower, walked naked into his bedroom only to find Michael sitting on his bed- on Justin's side - reading a magazine like belonged there. Brian had kicked him out immediately. It was almost like he was looking for something; like he was expecting something. Although Brian hadn't confronted him about it, the entire situation was beginning to make him uncomfortable. He'd stopped taking tricks to the loft long before Justin left for New York and hadn't had anyone there since. Perhaps that was what Michael was looking for- confirmation that Brian was back to his definition of ‘normal' but Brian had no desire to go back to that existence. Sure he still fucked around but he did it outside of the home he and Justin shared; outside of the last place he made love to Justin (for that was what it was). Sometimes in the middle of the night while he laid there alone he thought he could still smell Justin on his sheets. He wouldn't allow anyone to take the spot next to him- not an anonymous fuck and not Michael Novotny.

"Hey." Justin nudged him. "Where'd you go?"

"Nowhere. The code is 2917 but keep that to yourself." Brian placed a kiss on Justin's upturned lips as he watched the significance of the new code sink in.

Justin smiled brightly. "The ages we met and Gus' birthday rolled into one. Who says you're not sentimental?"

"I'm not. It just seemed logical." Brian brushed it off as he usually did when he was caught doing something out of character.

"Uh-huh. You do know you can't hide from me right, Brian? But I'm willing to let you have your delusion of autonomy for now." Justin smiled before leaning in to kiss him.

Brian happily obliged so Justin wouldn't go back on his word to let him keep his own thoughts or the delusion of it anyway. Justin was right that he couldn't hide from him but it didn't stop Brian from trying or wishing that he could. He wasn't used to being read as easily as Justin could even after over a year's separation. The only advantage was that Brian could read Justin's moods as well as he understood his own. Brian deepened the kiss while using his legs to lock Justin's body against his. It felt good just to be there with him, nothing between them- no clothes, no telephone, no interruptions. By agreement, especially since it was a working vacation for the both of them, they turned their phones off for the night just to concentrate on each other. If there was an emergency of any kind both Cynthia and Daphne had the number to the hotel. Even though Brian acted like it didn't matter to him, he was damned happy Justin suggested it. Being with his lover took the stress off him and judging by the steady stream of sighs coming from Justin, the feeling was mutual.

Brian's POV

God, I love touching him. Just the feel of his skin against mine appeals to every fucking hedonistic fantasy I could imagine and some I haven't even thought of yet. He's more addictive than anything I've ever used for pain management. In fact when I'm with him, whether we're fighting or fucking, I don't feel pain. Strong emotions, yes, but not pain. It's only when I'm not with him that it's back and beyond its normal full measure because he isn't with me. My blond is a drug all by himself: his mind which is keenly intelligent, his heart which will always belong to me and his body- his ass alone...whew! Every bit of his responsiveness is mine as well as his ability to please and satisfy me mentally as well as physically. Every hitch of his breath, breathes life into me and I can't get enough of them; I never will.

I continue to kiss him roughly and more thoroughly, pulling the moans and groans from my lover with every swipe of tongue with a renewed determination to lay claim to every crook and crevice of Justin's mouth. I want him to understand everything...my constant want for him now and permanently, my other hopes that our separation will draw to a close quickly, my dreams of designing a life with him and only him, my need for him and all the other things I can't or won't say. It isn't that I don't understand Justin's need for independence-I do- but it sucks not having the only person who knows me to be so far away. And I can't shake the urgency and anxiety which spikes within me at the thought that our idle will once again end soon in exchange for power and success. I have to make every second count because ultimately right now that's all we have.

"Stand up, Jus," I say unlocking my legs from around his lithe form. He's so fucking beautiful as he looks down at me expectantly. He always had the ability to look innocent even though I know differently. I know the side of him that craves my cock, that rides it like a natural cowboy does a horse and the side that fucks like a man possessed, driven and demanding from the bottom. Is there any wonder that I can't get enough of him?

The one advantage to being on the top floor of this hotel was the unparalleled view of the New York City skyline. It inspires me to make this first night of our two weeks unique and memorable. It would have to sustain us after all. I won't lie and say that I can be satisfied by other men. I can't. I've learned that there is a big difference between sated and satisfied when it comes to sex and Justin is the only one who satisfies me. So shutting off all the lights in the penthouse suite, I open the balcony door but don't step out onto the terrace. Again, I note that look of innocence mixed with anticipation in his eyes. I know he doesn't quite understand what I'm doing yet...but he will. I hear the shivery gasp escape him as I press Justin's back against the cool glass of the big bay window. The hard tremble that wracked his body makes me smile mentally knowing that he will heat up quickly from the warring sensations I'll cause. Pressing my heated body into his, I lean in to kiss him again still feeling the slight tremble as he tries to get himself back under control. But I don't want him controlled- not at all. Justin moans as he wraps himself around me while I begin to explore his body with my hands and tongue. I bite quickly then lick at the spot behind his ear, the place I know drives him crazy with lust quickly. And that's what I want...Justin mindless with his lust for me. I love tormenting that ultra-sensitive patch of skin almost as much as I love rubbing myself against my lover. His groan as I finger-fuck his nipples has me smiling against his neck. I know what I'm doing to him as he squirms trying to get away only to writhe back into me because of the coolness of the glass at his back. It's times like this I miss the hoop earring he used to wear in his right one. Just as I'd gotten rid of the bracelet which defined me, Justin had taken out the hoop which signified his freedom and departure from his WASP upbringing in favor of what he wanted most...me. I used to tease him about being a rebel and in a lot of ways Justin was but he was also my conscience which I feared and respected. Rolling the little nubs into two hard points, I shove my tongue back into his mouth to swallow his reaction to my touch. As I set my tongue to one and play with the other, Justin is fisting my hair. I would complain that he was going to snatch me bald but the truth is I'm enjoying the slight sting of it and all it means. Justin is completely focused on what I'm doing to him and the narcissist in me is thrilled. Justin makes me want to please him it's true but to know that I'm the cause of his pleasure is almost enough to make me nut.

"Fuck, Brian...please," Justin moaned.

"Please what?" I needed him to tell me what he wanted. Of course I knew but his whispered words always did something indescribable to me. Plus I loved it when my Sunshine would get so turned on that he would talk dirty to me. It wasn't that he was shy; he had no problem taking what he wanted when he was in dominant mode, especially when he topped other people. He just had a problem asking for what he wanted even in this unless he was near desperate for relief and release. Even in bed, he was ever prideful. Even when he was pursuing me, he was prideful in a way that was untouchable. People like Michael confused it with desperation but I knew better. He knew he belonged to me even when I refused to accept it; knew he was the best thing that could happen to me. He was right although it would take me a long time, if ever, to admit that. "Go on, Justin, tell me where you want my lips." I bit the top of his thigh hard.

More forcefully he said, "My dick, Brian..." he pulled at my hair again, guiding my head to it. "Suck it. Now." Ahh...there's my bossy bottom.

I complied gladly taking him down my throat without hesitation. His glittering eyes locked with mine, I gave him a show while watching his eyes widen marginally when I swirled my tongue around the mushroom head only to engulf it again. He never blinked, watching my every move as a predator does his prey. I applied my teeth gently on the upstroke and heard that tell-tale sound that he liked it. I did it again and again until I felt his hips jerk into my chin as he forced more of himself inside my mouth. For a twink, Justin was deceptively well-endowed and for that alone I was grateful. His fingers disappeared from my hair and although I felt their loss, I was happy to find one set of his fingers playing with this nipple while the other was collecting saliva to prep himself for entry. Oh yeah...he was hot. I watched him as he watched me, saw the look of bliss grace his features as roughly inserted two fingers into himself; earnestly masturbating himself and fucking my mouth simultaneously. The most lustful sound escaped him. It was so fucking beautiful. He was beautiful and I knew I couldn't take much more. I needed to be inside him. Now!

Rising from my knees, I spun him quickly to press the front of him against the glass. Again I reveled in the shocked gasp coming from him thanks to the coolness from the glass now assaulting the front of him. Grabbing the lube and condom from the floor, I removed his fingers and replaced them with my own. His ass gripped and massaged my fingers as I began a slow rhythm causing him to push back into me, seeking satisfaction. I pressed the nub inside of him which I knew would cause a firestorm of sensation.

"Tell me what you want, Sunshine. Fingers or me?" He couldn't speak as I continued to drive my fingers into him more forcefully. I knew what I was doing to him while I rolled the condom down my own hardened member. I was toying with him and at the same time heightening his arousal. My body pressed his into the glass again- cold to the front, heat at his back. He pushed back into me again more forcefully. "Say it, damn it. Tell me how much you want me to fuck you." I licked his earlobe as he caught his bottom lip in between his teeth trying to suppress the deep groan. He was close to release but I wouldn't let him. I backed off to put what he wanted just out of reach. I loved edging Justin- sending him to the edge of orgasm only to deny it. It caused him to become wilder in his quest for climax. The funny thing is that I loved it when he did it to me which was often; the only man to ever do that to me. The only man I'd ever given a chance to do that to me.

"Fuck me. Fucking fuck me already!" He shouted at me causing me to mentally chuckle.

"Little boy, you have such a dirty mouth. You need a spanking." And I applied my hand just right to his perfect ass.

"Fuckkkk. Oh God, I hate you, Brian."

"Do you really?" I palmed his ass again. "Perhaps we should just stop then." I smiled as I said the words knowing that even if he said ‘yeah let's stop' there was no fucking way I would.

"Briannnn," he groaned again.

"Don't even think about it, Justin. Not until I say so."

I aligned cock with his hole, bent him over accordingly where we would derive the most pleasure from it. I held still as he absorbed the familiar sting of entry, heard the breath leave him momentarily as mouth open and eyes closed, he pushed back into me, taking me at his leisure. Once he was fully impaled, he reached back and palmed me ass hard, his signal for me to move in this position. Our height difference was to my advantage as I once again pressed him into the glass and moved smoothly into him. He fit me like a specially made glove, able to take all of me balls deep. I entwined my fingers with his as we continued the well-known dance we'd done a thousand times but never seemed to get old. His head fell back onto my shoulders as I drove him up passion's peak again and again, hearing his moans and sighs, using them as a map to tell me what he wanted.

"Harder. Fuck me, harder."

"Are you asking?" I loved teasing him until he became indignant.

"No. I'm telling you to fuck me harder, Brian. Fuck the shit out of me." He pulled me by my hair and shoved his tongue in my mouth.

Even wet and sloppy, Justin's kiss was an art. His tongue moved into my mouth in the same rhythm my cock drove into him. He moved faster and harder down my dick and I could feel the small quakes begin within him. They spurred me to give him what he wanted. With every contraction of his abdomen, I felt it at the base of my dick, another thing that was uniquely Justin. I'd never taught him that- wasn't even something I knew to do since I never bottomed except for two people- but it was something he unconsciously did that first night all those years ago and it kept me hooked.

Sweat poured from me as I labored behind him but I refused to stop servicing him to wipe it. He didn't call me ‘Stud' for nothing. He pleaded for me not to stop. I growled in his ear that I wouldn't. His channel tightened, gripping my dick like a fucking nutcracker. Finally his punishing rhythm became disjointed and I felt him gasp and hold his breath briefly before letting out a long moan/groan/sigh mix that I had come to love. It meant that he was satisfied and my ultimate goal had been achieved. I was selfish with others, not giving a shit whether they came or not as long as I gave them a good reaming in my process of getting off. With the man I was currently fucking through his orgasm, it was different....always different. His climax triggered my own as I let my head fall back, feeling the metaphorical electricity sizzle throughout my body, swirling through my balls and shoot into the condom encased in the tightest ass I've ever fucked even after all this time. I pulled him close, willing myself to stay upright, if for no other reason than to keep him from falling. Justin Taylor was a sexual marvel and he was all MINE!