BRIAN

I just followed a very silent Justin into the loft. He kicked off his shoes and then off went the shirt. When the pants went flying, I came out of my haze.

“What are you doing?” I ask, curious but not really wanting him to stop the floor show.

“I figure that instead of dreaming about what was most likely incredible sex, I’m at least going to get a night I can say yes, it was really that fucking good.” He tells me and YES, we a have lift off.

I’m not arguing, I’m going to show Justin that yes, we were that good. I threw my jacket off and Justin took my shirt and tie with him and walks away as I stare at the ass I still remember. I didn’t waste time when I heard the shower turn on, the shower sex was really amazing that night. I walked in and Justin was leaning his head back in the spray. When his head straightened I was staring into huge pools of blue. He held out his hand and I took it and let him pull me in. I kissed the lips that were still as soft as I remembered and let my hands trail down his arms and trail around to caress the ass that I’ve thought about over the years. Justin’s hands were lightly touching my chest and trailing down then back up as he leaned in and licked my chest and then up to capture my lips again. Holding the porcelain skin against my darker self, it reminded me of light and darkness. He released my lip from his teeth and started back down until he was on his knees and brought his hands to my cock and then lower to massage my ball, and for a second I was self conscious about it, but when he took it in his mouth, I just let the sensation take over. His hand went to my ass and I felt his finger teasing my rim as he took me all the way down his throat. I put my hands on the wall as Justin licked, teased and nibbled me to the point where the wall was the only thing holding me up. I almost cried out as I felt something that I hadn’t felt in too long, and gave him a taste of me. Justin didn’t stop until I was ready to collapse to the floor, but my relief that I was still ready to go kept me standing as I lifted him to his feet and turned him to show him my appreciation for giving me this back. I lowered myself behind him and spread the generous globes to get to the place that would drive him crazy. Flattening my tongue I rimmed completely around him and then used the gel to lube my fingers and teased him before standing and inserting my finger and then when he moaned in pleasure I inserted the second and third. He turned his head and joined his lips to mine as I used my hand to massage him open for me. I grabbed a condom and put it on after taking my fingers from that tight opening, and when I started pushing through, Justin pushed back so that I was bottomed out before we held still. Then he moved and I began thrusting into him. As we both moved and it was more needing than finesse, Justin stroked himself in time with each inward thrust. When he screamed and stilled, I kept going as his body shivered from too much, but I felt my orgasm coming again and I needed to feel something that had been missing for so long. I joined Justin, panting and using him to keep us standing. Kissing the back of that golden blond hair, I knew my life wasn’t going to be complete without him. We dried each other and didn’t bother to get dressed but laid in bed together staring at each other. It’s true, you do see the future in someone's eyes.

JUSTIN

I came here angry, but I just don’t know what to think anymore. I’m not ready to call this love, but it’s close. I think part of my problem is that I grew up hearing how Grampy and Granny just knew almost from the beginning that they were in love. It made me think that if it’s meant to be, you know without having to jump over minefields, but all my life I never really felt like someone was ‘the one’ that I could live my life with. Is Brian the one? I don’t know, but I’m closer to saying that somehow he fits. He stared at me as if trying to read my thoughts, and I didn’t do anything but let him. 

“How do you really feel about the possibility that you're about to have your life all front page news?” Brian asks me.

“I don’t like it. I like that I can do my own thing without people reporting it the way Grampy’s life was.” I tell him.

“How did he keep you and your sister out of it?” He asks me.

“We didn’t do anything that had him bailing us out of trouble. Grampy told us that if we wanted to be famous for being spoiled rich kids and ruin our lives that he wouldn’t support that. Grampy was too important to Molly and me to ever want to disappoint him. He didn’t raise us with unlimited spending and thinking that our education is a joke. Which we could treat that way, but he believed you work for what you want, and instilled that in us. I think the only thing my Mom ever did to disappoint him was to marry my dad. He threw her a divorce party when she finally had enough of Dad. Granny and Grampy love Tuck because he’s a really good person. Molly and I love him because Tuck loves us as if we were his. Unlike my Dad, who doles out attention and love only when we do something he approves of.” I tell him, because my Dad will show up eventually to kiss Grampy’s ass.

“It sounds nice. The only person who ever cared about me was Deb.” He tells me and I wanted him to tell me something, because if I’m considering this marriage, I want him to tell me. “My actual family isn’t much, not just because we were poor but because my mother and father should have never gotten together in the first place. My father used his fist for any reason, dinner not on the table, I got a black eye. My mother too drunk to remember his cigarettes and hopefully I didn’t need to visit the ER. I will always wonder how he managed not to kill me.” He tells me looking at the ceiling.

“It’s hard for me to imagine that life, Dad’s not the greatest but he never touched us in anger. Most likely because Grampy would have Jimmy Hoffa’d his ass if he did.” I tell him and he smiled at that instead of the frown he’d had before.

“It was strange that he just seemed to accept me.” Brian tells me.

“He’s just like that. When I told him I was gay, unlike my father who ignored it, Grampy just told me to be happy. He warned me that my life would be harder because no matter how much we think the world accepts us, there are still people who would place us in a category of less, but only I could prove I was more. I worked my ass off because I didn’t want to play into the hype that I was barely a man because I don’t want a wife.” I tell him.

“My family only found out because Jack, my dad, was dying. Deb thought it would bring us closer, or that he would understand me. In the end, we managed to make peace with each other, not that I think he didn’t roll over in his grave that he produced a gay son.” He tells me.

“What about your sister and mother?” I ask.

“Mom hides behind her religion, so I’m going against God. I send checks to keep her on her side of Pittsburgh. My sister seems to think I should be supporting her and the spawn. It’s just easier not to bother with any of them. Before you start trying to figure out if you can change it, I got over them when I left home.” He tells me.

“Some people just can’t be saved, but it’s hard for me not to try.” I tell him.

“You need to know that my life before was one big party, and I’m lucky that I’m not in Ben’s situation. When I got cancer, it was easy to bow out, because I felt less perfect for a long time.” He tells me, and I can tell he didn’t like saying it.

“I might not have been into the whole club scene, but I wasn’t always responsible, well I used condoms, but I was experimenting a lot. I wanted to see what it was like to do all those things I read about, so there were threesomes and well, a lot of one nighters, but I just got to the point where not being able to remember their names got old.” I tell him.

“You probably read my unauthorized biography, because it sounds like the things I did.” He tells me.

“If I did, thanks for all the helpful suggestions.” I tell him, giggling.

“So you're done playing around?” He asks me

“I want a partner not a trick. I mean, it’s fun but there are just too many scary things I see that make playing seem like Russian Roulette to me.” I tell him.

“I just wanted to see if you and I were on the same page, because I’m done with that scene. I just don’t want to be that guy who didn’t leave the party. I also want Gus to have stability, which tricking, drinking, and drugs won’t give him.” He tells me.

“I think at five he might not notice.” I tells him.

“He notices everything, and makes sure to ask what he doesn’t understand. The latest was right before you came. Mikey seems to think because he produced sperm that he’s an authority on being a father… Justin, I think Granny needs to know about Mikey.” He tells me.

“That he needs his hearing checked?” I joke.

“No, that if I’m right, he’s your mother’s cousin.” He tells me.

“I refuse to be related to that, please tell me you're kidding.” I beg.

“Mikey’s father is really Devina Devore, and you know, with the way Grampy knows everything, how did he miss that?” He asks.

“Uncle Danny’s a father? Really, I just can’t wait for Grampy to find out.” Justin tells me giggling.

“Does he have problems with Danny?” He asks me.

“No, but Devina is like a total diva. When she would come to parties Grampy and I used to make bets on how long it took for people to figure out that she’s a he. He can really convince anyone that Devina is a woman. Granny used to get pissed when Grampy would say that Devina got all the estrogen in the family. I remember Granny chasing Grampy around the kitchen trying to smack him when Devina and Grampy teased her that Devina got all the good stuff.” I tell him.

“Well he produced Mikey, so Granny’s one up by producing your mother.” He tells me.

“Make sure you tell my mom that, because she’ll need a laugh before she kills the cousin, not kisses him. God I think I just threw up in my mouth at that.” I tell him.

“Mikey wasn’t always the pain in the ass he is now, it’s just that he never managed to find a personality that wasn’t already attached to someone else. He dated a doctor, then was suddenly too good for us. Ben comes and he became intellectual, without really having the same level of intelligence as Ben.” He tells me.

“Grampy has to know, but he tends to keep things close to the vest. I wonder if Devina knows?” I ask him, because she’s never mentioned it.

“The only time she was here I know Mikey tried to find out, but Deb and Devina didn’t tell him one way or the other.” He tells me.

“I don’t want to get up.” I tell him, changing the subject because I just don’t think very highly of Mikey right now.

“Why bother, we aren’t being interviewed until tomorrow.” He tells me, pulling me to him and you know, I think I’d rather do what his eyes are promising me right now.