BRIAN

I walked out of the loft, not to go see my loving mother, but to smoke a fucking cloud of waste that might somehow manage to wrap around Joan’s house. Realistically, Justin keeps pestering me about how second hand smoke would be bad for his babies. Walking up to his car, I already know it's going to take several cleanings to get that smell out. Mikey was walking towards me but backed away when the wind shifted.

I stood there thinking about how I plan to get from boyfriend to fiance, because yes, this is something I actually planned to ask, not tell him. It’s just, I could see he expected me to ask right now, and yeah I want to, but I also want the twat to have to wait for it. I liked the fucking shirt he shredded to prove a point. So my plan is to make him think I’m going to ask but not do it until he’s suffered a little. Smiling until the wind shifted again and you know, they might not be big, but good God they stink when they want too.

When I see the squad come up the sidewalk, I know it’s time to keep Justin from whatever his new idea is, which means running to beat them to him. Getting in the door and slamming it shut. I look for Justin, not seeing him anywhere but hearing him in the bedroom.

“Marco, put the shirt and cologne away.” Justin tells him.

“But we wanted to have a shrine, and this is like the shirt that used to say ‘Brian on the prowl’.” He tells Justin.

“Now it’s the shirt that won’t make it back from the cleaners.” Justin growls.

“Which means you should give it to us.” He tells Justin.

I walk in and rescue the shirt. I wore it because it looked good, and okay, because guys gave it up when I wore it. Justin got the look that said, guard my shirt or it’s history. The retort I wanted to say stayed in my head, because Justin’s the master at finding a way.

JUSTIN

I let the shirt go because well, there's the ring and he really does look good in that shirt. At least I'll let it go unless it somehow leaves the house without me. Waving Marco away, I really wanted to tell him that as the leader of the PJ Queens, it's time to find him a pet. I had to get him some benadryl when the hives started again, which to Marco meant seeing the sacred bed, then me dragging him out of said bed, then him seeing the shirt, and the rest should have been obvious.

I follow Brian and that shirt out, which meant the squad squealing, and everyone but MM trying to figure out why.

“Are you wearing it?” Daphne asks when I kept my hand behind my back trying to get it off.

“Honey, I'll get Drew to send you pictures of the Brown campaign. Justin really doesn't want to show you his ass.” Emmett tells them, not realizing what they were talking about.

“Yeah we’ll take them, but Justin has a little show and tell.” Marie tells me smiling. The damn thing is stuck.

“Can I try it on?” September ask desperately.

“Honey, jock straps are really not made for girls.” Emmett tells her, and really he doesn’t need to tell everyone what I’m wearing today.

“The RING, Emmett.” Alexia tells him, practically peeing in her pants.

“Baby, you share way too much with the girls, and girls those are made for boy parts.” Emmett tells us. Oh my god that was supposed to be a secret too. I’m never taking Emmett shopping with me again.

“UM... What?” Poor September never really paid attention when the girls toured behind the curtain in the sex shop.

“Emmett, Brian got Justin a ring… FOR HIS FINGER!” Daphne yells when Emmett seems to still be having a hard time getting this.

“Brian… ring… not the one you bought as...?” Emmett stopped when he and everyone else noticed me waving madly and shaking my head no.

I pull the hand out because Emmett needs to be distracted, not that Brian wasn’t staring at the area the other ring went, and no I’m not wearing it, I just kind of thought it would be… if you can’t figure it out, my blushing would tell you.

“Baby’s engaged!” Emmett seemed to be announcing to all of Pittsburg, and the squealing squad finished off the eastern seaboard for me.

“Not yet, because I still haven’t been asked anything.” I tell them, but you know once they get on something, nothing I say matters anymore.

“Marco, get the Queens, we have an engagement party to plan.” Emmett tells him, and what about the part where I’m not really engaged? Is there a party for sort of possibly if someone asks me?

I tried to follow them out but Brian grabbed the back of my pants. It was really not funny when the sides ripped and everyone turned. I ran but you know, ass hanging out really didn’t get missed by anyone. Brian, who was holding my stripper pants, was absolutely no help. He is so not getting the show I planned later. I leapt in the bed and my nightmare came true, I was in bed with four girls, not a penis but mine on the bed.

“I’m kind of jealous, you know in pants we know there’s a little JLO going on, but shit, it’s like, better.” Alexia tells me.

“Justin, do you ever tan?” September, who keeps trying to pull the blanket asks.

“Did you see the package?” Marie, of all people asks, I’m so not believing my innocent Marie is staring as if I’m going to show and tell.

“MARCO, IF YOU WANT THE SHIRT, GET THEM!” I yell.

Marco wanted that shirt but I just need the girls to be distracted long enough to grab the pants I might have drunkenly tossed over the lights the other night. Reaching up and hoping the girls don’t overpower Marco, before I get them, yes, ass covers accomplished. NO, Daphne, who can multitask, grabs them and almost my blanket. Hey, Marco needs to teach me how he bends like that, because somehow he did this bend and swoop that had Alexia and September on the floor.

“Once you're off the bed you can’t get back on.” I tell them because it’s just a rule, well it’s my rule.  

They get up and stomp down the steps waiting to see who was going to win. I looked over at Brian who had the shirt thrown over one shoulder and my pants over the other. Are the guys really betting on who wins?

We were down to Marie, and yes, I cheated by sliding my leg over and throwing her off, but Daphne’s always played to win, and I think even the shirt wasn’t going to give Marco enough incentive to win. I watch as Daphne uses some impressive leg muscles to toss Marco from the bed. Guess the shirt stays, or not, because Brian threw it to Marco.

“So what do I win?” Daphne ask me.

“I didn’t really get that far.” I tell her.

“Brian?” She asks him.

“You get to take Justin shopping for his suit when I decide to ask.” He tells her.

What? HOLD ON, I’m wearing the ring and he’s now saying he’s not asking right now? Then it occurs to me that I could get out of this yet. I just have to make sure we are never anywhere that could have him popping the question. That should be easy, I mean really, unless he’s planning on popping it at like work or Babylon, everywhere else I can get my Queens to help me get away.

“Justin, it will happen and you will get used to it.” He tells me.

Did I say anything out loud? I look over and they all nod. I grab the covers and slowly slide underneath because he’s going to make me want this too.

“Justin, really it’s not so bad.” Daphne tells me.

I just kick her off the bed.

TWO DAYS LATER AND STILL NO PROPOSAL

Marco, Pablo, and Lenny met me at the diner. It was decided that Marco couldn’t lead my group without a pet. I got an idea and even looked it up, Brian stared at the screen when I typed “If you're allergic to cats does it mean skunks too?” but seemed to stop caring when I said Marco needed a pet. We found a breeder and she agreed to let Marco come over and make sure he wasn’t allergic. I think the other two were just bored, apparently the new stud wasn’t as accepting as the real stud of the whole PJ/slipper/pet thing.

When we got to Lorie’s house and met Lightning I was trying to figure out how to get one of my own.

When I texted Brian, the immediate no told me he wasn’t going to budge, but Marco was excited. He wasn’t itching and decided right then and there to get on the list for his kitten. We left after a few hours because come on, we were playing.

Brian called and told me, once again, if I wanted to be fed, meet him at this really romantic restaurant. Okay it’s just this weird Italian place that I like, although everyone else thinks sucks, I mean they have a meatball the size of my head, what’s not to like? It’s suspicious, but maybe I could convince Brian to get a skunk instead of a fiance.

And you know, I sat there waiting and waiting but he starts talking about eating Sunday dinner with Mom and Deb, then something about us going to Vermont came up, so I sat up and pushed my ADHD down, because it was time to pay attention so I didn’t accidently say yes, but he’s like telling me that he wanted to invite the guys for an end of the year ski trip. Not once was there any mention of the ring that seems like it’s superglued to my finger. I was about to say something when Brian scowls, I turn to see Bitchy giving us a sour look. Maybe this place does suck, because she’s wearing the uniform.

“Brian. Still a faggot?” She asks, not very quietly, well she sneered it so there was just no way to be quiet.

“Claire, still unemployed?” Brian asks, and I’ll admit I’m confused because she’s like a waitress right?

“No, see this uniform says I have a job.” She tells him.

“No, see your boss is one of us faggots, and I think he’s waving at you.” Brian tells her and yeah, the owner isn’t looking very thrilled at the moment.

“Hey, aren’t you the asshole who stole my cat?” How did she get past the interview?

“No, I’m the guy who decided sealing up cats in a box like they were waiting for Fedex, made you a bad owner.” I say it really loud, because I see the blue hairs, and you know some of them have cats that are as spoiled as mine.

“She what?” The one with the cane asks, getting up and go granny, she could book it.

Too bad Claire seemed to be able to haul ass faster, I think Granny had game. She came over and kissed my cheek for all of cat kind. I texted Lightning with a big please attached, but no, all I got was

My HBF is spending way too much time with my BF.