Chapter 3

Chapter Text

"Seriously, Doc," Brian said, frustration dripping from his voice. "There has to be some explanation."

The doctor looked up from Brian's file and sighed. "The tests I've done so far have come up with nothing. Is there anything you haven't told me? Anything that might help me narrow the search? Anything at all? Otherwise I'm going to have to simply say that it's psychological. I can give you a referral to a—"

"Stop right there," Brian huffed. "No need to get a shrink involved. There may be… well, there is one thing that does it."

"Well?" the doctor asked impatiently. Honestly, getting information out of this man was like trying to draw blood from a turnip. You would never know that Brian had come to him for help.

Brian sucked his lips between his teeth and looked away for a minute or two before taking a deep breath. "I can only get an erection if I'm near a specific person."

"And can you achieve orgasm while thinking about this person?" The doctor asked.

"Yes," Brian sighed. "But not while I'm with another person, even if I'm thinking about him. There's something weird about that, isn't there? I mean, you've been my doctor for years. You know my sexual history. I've never had a problem like this before. It's like my body is betraying me. You have to fix this!"

"Hmmm," the doctor said distantly as he rechecked the test results. "There may be… But that seems highly unlikely. The pattern fits, but…"

"Doc!" Brian shouted to get the man's attention. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"There may be a condition that I hadn't thought to test for," the doctor replied. "It is quite uncommon, and usually shows up in those persons who are drawn to law enforcement or military careers, usually two betas or an alpha and a beta. This condition seems to be linked to persons with a need to defend and protect those weaker than themselves."

Brian shrugged. "I look out for my friends and I don't mistreat subs."

"Perhaps that is enough for your part," the doctor nodded. "But it doesn't explain the sub. I'll have the nurse draw some more blood and I'll have the lab do the proper tests. I'll call you tomorrow with the results."

"Doc, what is this condition?" Brian asked.

"Oh, well, I'd rather wait and see how the tests come out before discussing it," the doctor said. "Suffice it to say, it is not life threatening."

Brian held back a growl. He'd been hoping to get answers today, but it looked like it would be at least another day before he knew anything. Maybe he was crazy. Maybe he did need a shrink.

"Fine. You have my number."

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"Are you sure you don't want to go out?" Mikey asked Brian for the sixth time. Brian was, frankly, sick of the question. Yes he wanted to go out. Yes he wanted to find some hot stranger and bury his troubles in some nameless sub's ass. But the last twelve times he'd tried he'd ended up having to blow the guy because he couldn't get it up, even when he'd tried thinking about that blond twink he couldn't get out of his mind. That was not how he wanted to spend the night.

"I'm positive," Brian finally said. "What's wrong with spending an evening in for a change?"

"Nothing," Mikey shrugged. "It's just not like you. You haven't really been yourself for weeks. Not since…"

"Don't say it." Brian warned with a growl. "We aren't mentioning him ever again. I told him how it was going to be and he left. He's gone and not coming back again."

Mikey shrugged again and picked up a piece of pizza. "So you want to get high and watch NCIS? That Michael Weatherly is really hot."

"Sure. Whatever."

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Brian kept his cell phone with him at all times the next day. He was on tenterhooks waiting for his doctor to call. He was distracted in the staff meeting in the morning. He was distracted through the meeting with the art department in the afternoon. And when five o'clock finally rolled around, for once he went home on time and didn't even bring any work home with him.

He stared at his phone once he was back at the loft. Why hadn't the doctor called? Was there really something wrong with him? Was it some incurable disease? Would he never be able to have sex again? Fuck! What the hell would he do with himself if he couldn't go out tricking every night? Watching TV with Mikey once in a while was one thing, but he couldn't imagine doing that every night for the rest of his life. If he couldn't fuck, they might as well just euthanize him and get it over with, because life certainly wouldn't be worth living any more.

He was staring so intently at the phone that when it did ring, it took him a moment to realize what was happening. "Hello?"

"Brian? This is Doctor Miller. I got your test results back."

"And?" Brian asked testily.

"And it came up positive for the condition," the doctor said. "I would like to have you come in at your earliest convenience to discuss it."

"How about now?" Brian said. "I really don't want to wait anymore to find out what the fuck is wrong with me. This is killing me, Doc."

There was a pause on the other end of the phone line before the doctor sighed. "Alright. I had to stay for a late appointment anyway. Can you be here in half an hour?"

"I'll be there."

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"A few years ago, two doctors did a study on what we now know as Imprinting," the doctor told Brian who was pacing restlessly in the doctor's consultation office. "This syndrome is not a disease. In fact, you are perfectly healthy."

"Then why can't I get it up?" Brian growled.

"I'm getting to that," the doctor said with more patience than he felt. "Doctors Potts and Childs studied couples who have an unusually close relationship. It could almost be classified as an obsession with each other. These couples had several things in common. One, their neurotransmitters showed evidence of an unusual pattern when not in contact with their partner. Two, there was an elevated level of a certain chemical in their blood. Three, none of them were able to be aroused by anyone but their partner. They called it Imprinting."

"So?" Brian asked. "What do these Imprinted couples have to do with me? I don't have a partner and don't want one either."

"And yet your blood work indicates a high level of this chemical," the doctor said. "There has been no other explanation or incidences of that happening other than with these Imprinted couples. And you yourself admitted that there was one person who could still arouse you, even if only by thinking of him. Imprinted pairs along with a control group were tested using sexual stimulus. The control group was aroused by pretty much everything. Even straight betas were aroused by erotic gay images, and vice versa. But the imprinted people were only aroused by pictures of their partner, even those that were not erotic in nature."

Brian didn't like where he thought this was going. "So these couples, how did they end up Imprinted?"

"There are actually quite a few horror stories involved in how these couples came to be," the doctor said. "When an Imprinted pair meets, no matter the circumstances, they feel a need to be together. If one is already married or in a relationship, their spouse or partner is inevitably left behind. There are those who try to fight the pull, but invariably they must give in or risk madness. It is not impossible to ignore your body's need for physical gratification, but the mind suffers when denied what it needs. Like many mental illnesses, the root cause can be traced back to physical imbalances. In this case, the physical imbalance is a result of not being in contact with their partner."

"So, what you're telling me is that not only do I have some partner that I don't want," Brian scowled, "but if I try to deny the relationship, I'll go mad?"

"Yes," the doctor said. "There have even been instances of violent behavior if a pair is separated for any length of time."

"So why am I not crazy?" Brian said. "It's been weeks since… since I slept with that one person."

"You obviously have a higher degree of self-control," the doctor said. "But that does not negate the fact that over time, this will get worse, and you will eventually lose control of your emotions if you don't take action. Have you seen your partner since that night?"

"Once," Brian said. "He followed me out to a bar and then to my loft. I sent him away and told him not to come back."

"Oh dear," the doctor said with a worried frown. "Brian. I do not wish to alarm you, but your partner may not be faring as well as you are, especially given the fact that he is a sub. Most Imprinted pairs are betas, but there have been a few cases with an alpha and sub. In those instances, the sub tends to feel the separation more keenly than either an alpha or beta would. He may be in real danger if he thinks you have rejected him. Violence towards oneself or others is a frequent result in the case of outright rejection of an Imprinted sub."

"And without him, I'm a monk for the rest of my life," Brian sighed. "I get it."

"I've printed out some information for you on Imprinting," Doctor Miller said. "I would suggest you read it through thoroughly and quickly. Then I would suggest you seek out your partner before it is too late."

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Brian went home and read through the information over a couple glasses of Jim Beam. Then he called Cynthia and told her wouldn't be in the office for the rest of the week and asked her to reschedule any meetings he might have. He followed up that call with more bourbon while he reread all the information. When he passed out around midnight, the Jim Beam bottle was empty.