I’ve known Brian Kinney since he and my son Michael became friends when they were fourteen years old. Even back then he was an ornery, stubborn little son of a bitch; and he hasn’t changed much in the last fifteen years. Well I guess that isn’t exactly true, if anything he’s turned into an even bigger asshole than he already was...if that’s even possible. 

I initially fell in love with the kid, because the road he was traveling on was extremely rough on someone his age. His mother was an alcoholic religious freak who sat back and turned a blind eye while her equally alcoholic, abusive husband, used Brian as a human punching bag. It amazed me how any parent could show their child so little love; in Brian’s case they didn’t show him any love at all.

I’ll admit when Michael brought him home for the first time to show off his fledgling comic collection, I was a nervous fucking wreck. See, I always knew my son was gay and I knew the subsequent hassle he would have to put up with because of who he was. After all, my own fucking sister wouldn’t let her kids come to my house out of fear that Michael would molest them...or worse. So I wanted to make sure this kid my son was attaching himself to didn’t turn out to be one of those damn hate mongers, who would drag my kid off to God knows where and hurt him.

I needn’t have worried though, because fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) comic books weren’t the only thing they had in common. I was made painfully aware of this fact the day I walked in and caught Brian attempting to give Michael a hand job. The looks on their faces were priceless, and I’m sure they fully expected me to lose my shit over the whole situation. I didn’t have the heart to completely embarrass the little fuckers though; looking back on it maybe I should have.

After that, those boys were practically inseparable, hell they’re still inseparable even though they’ve grown up…physically anyway. They learned to depend on each other but the problem is, they depend on each other too damn much. Over the years Michael has made his feelings toward Brian more than apparent; but Brian obviously doesn’t feel the same way and he never will. That’s why I have to bite my tongue so hard that I taste blood every time Michael comes to me hurting over something that Brian has done.

I kept hoping that he would meet somebody, so that he would get the silly notion that he and Brian would be a couple of old queens living together in Palm Springs one day, out of his fool head. I sure as shit couldn’t have been happier when Dr. David Cameron came into Michael’s life. David was a chiropractor that Michael had been referred to after he’d taken a nasty fall at work and injured his neck. He was gorgeous, successful, emotionally available, and seemed to really love my son unconditionally. David was just what Michael needed as far as I was concerned, he symbolized stability and security not to mention the shot of self-esteem that Michael was sorely lacking. 

David wasn’t too thrilled with Michael’s obsession with Brian though. He was even less tolerant of the unfounded jealousy and subsequent hate Michael had for Justin, and it had only gotten worse after the boys had gone and rescued Sunshine from the mean streets of New York. In Michael’s eyes Justin was still just another trick who was trying to take his best friend and playmate away from him. But why the fuck should he care who’s sucking Brian’s dick or temporarily warming his bed? That’s an easy one to answer (insert dramatic eye roll) it’s because the ‘cock of the walk’ takes pleasure in giving Michael those extra little tidbits of his affection. I wonder when Brian will finally wake up and realize that Michael will never be able to let go of his crush and have a life of his own, if he keeps filling his head with empty hope….but I digress.

Then the miracle of all miracles happened, David asked Michael to move in with him. My heart jumped for joy and I started mentally counting off the heirloom pieces I was going to pass off to the happy couple to christen their home.

“Don’t break out the candlesticks just yet Ma, I didn’t say yes.”

“Well what did you say?”

“I said I’d think about it.”

“What’s to think about?”

That whole conversation had me fuming, and my darling brother didn’t make it any better by putting in his two cents.

“It’s not so easy for two men to be a couple.”

Bullshit...I knew the real score, and it had nothing to do with Michael being afraid that he and David couldn’t make a real go of it. It was that damn Brian; always dangling the carrot just close enough to Michael’s nose to reel him into believing they could have a future together. In the end it caused Michael and David to break-up.

That's when I decided enough was enough, it was time I paid Mr. Non-Commitment a visit.

“You’ve ruined my kid’s life!” I spat the words at him like a venomous snake moving in to kill it’s prey. Of course this didn’t stop Brian from making a litany of smart-ass remarks about hello kisses and not being inconsistent in the trouble making department. I could give a rat’s ass about his consistency to cause trouble, what I cared about was my son’s consistently broken heart.

“He had a chance with David but you had to go and fuck it up! It’s time for him to grow up and be a man.”

“He wasn’t having any fun Deb….and yeah he needs to grow up, but what do you want me to do about that?”

“I don’t know…something. You owe my kid something.”

Needless to say, his solution was to give Michael a surprise party for his 30th birthday...one that he would never forget, hell it actually turned out to be a party that none of us would ever forget.

Brian took careful measures to pull out all the stops, ensuring that my boy would have the best time of his fucking life. He invited the whole family (yes even Mel), an assortment of random guests, to my great surprise and delight, David, and to top it all off...a Captain Astro impersonator.

The glow on Michael’s face could have lit up all of downtown Pittsburgh, I mean I’ve never seen him so happy. There was even a fleeting moment that I thought he and David were rekindling their relationship. All hopes of that were shot to hell when I noticed a big commotion transpiring on the other side of the room. Apparently, Brian had taken it upon himself to also invite some girl that Michael works with to the party. Normally this wouldn’t have been a bad thing, but in this case it was the worst thing he could have ever done. See, no one at my son’s job knows he’s gay, and Brian felt that it was his duty to out my son to his colleague.

“The first time he and David fucked, Mikey came like...three times.”

That light that was shining in Michael’s eyes quickly flickered out after his best friend’s little revelation. David was the first one to react by knocking Mr. Kinney square on his ass, the events that followed were to be expected. First, the unhappy couple (meaning Mikey and David) made their exit, followed by the rest of the family after admonishing Brian for his abhorrent behavior.

That night as I sat and thought things through over an Irish coffee, I realized something. Brian only pushed him off the cliff because I’d basically forced him to do so. My intention was never for them to end their friendship, just to break away from each other a little. For Michael it wasn’t the fact that Brian had exposed his little secret, it was that he felt a deep sense of betrayal. The problem was that he felt it emanating from the wrong person.

Essentially my son got hurt in the worst possible way because of my own selfish wants. What’s even worse is that he doesn’t even know the part I played in the grand scheme of things. When it’s all said and done, Brian really isn’t to blame here.

Fuck me….I’ll have to apologize to the little asshole for cussing him out tomorrow when I go to the loft to pick up Michael’s presents.