JUSTIN 

This was not how I saw the reception going, I mean we had like, dancing and cake, but nope, somehow I'm now buying out the tomato juice section of Big Q. I'm never going to get Brian to agree to a skunk now. It's not my fault, even though I know Brian thinks it is. 

See, you know how I kind of told Brian that Thunder was attending. Well apparently there was a skunk in the woods, which wouldn't have been a big deal, but like, MM came out and said Thunder was missing. So Marco like formed a search party of PJs and the guys. I really have to thank Brian for making me stay because we were the hosts. So everyone was kind of looking in the house and the woods while we danced, and Drew called them back so he could officially propose to Emmett. Only like, Quinn comes out of the woods like the the hero of the hour telling everyone he found Thunder. Marco ran with the PJ’s and MM to go get Thunder. Everyone else wanted to see Emmett squeal with delight when Drew proposed. 

I was standing by the backdoor talking to Blake about possibly of you know, forgiving Twink kissing Ted, when the Squeal of Delight was interrupted by screams as the PJ’s and and MM ran out of the woods. I was distracted when Thunder came out and sat at my feet, picking him up, I tried to show everyone, but they were all being chased by a skunk that wasn't Thunder. I think the big clue was when the breeze shifted, or possibly when the uninvited skunk felt the need to spray anyone who stood still. Well for some reason it looked at Brian and must have seen the potential of becoming a fur hat if it dared, so the other one walked away from Brian.

I handed Thunder to Blake because it was headed towards my cake, but Brian caught me just as our uninvited guest turned and ran under the table set up for guests to sign in. Which I don't care what anyone says, Satan and her cult deserved what happened. I mean really, come to my reception to protest the marriage that already happened and you deserve what you get. Well I don't think that was why the skunk sprayed them, but hey, it did. I wonder if like the cult would form a running team, since they booked their ass out after the skunk chased them. 

Which is how Emmett, Blake, and I got volunteered to go get the tomato juice, we didn't stink. Of course Emmett was giggling in glee that Quinn got the worst of it. The moron tried to leap on the screaming skunk, but missed. The skunk didn’t, I’m not sure if tomato juice will get it off his face. I looked around, because they are not coming into my house smelling like that. I just couldn’t figure out what to put them in.

“Baby, I found something but we might need three or four.” Emmett yells from the toy section.

When Blake and I brought the three carts around, Emmett was pointing at pools. 

“They’re only like six foot wide and two feet deep, but we just need something for them to stand in.” He tells us. 

Sounded good to me, so we bought like six. Then went to the checkout where the chick didn’t even blink at the assortment of pools and tomato juice. 

“So... skunk?” She asks. 

“Yep, crashed my wedding reception.” I tell her. 

“Did it get on skin?” She asks.

“Yeah, right in the face, I couldn't have planned it better.” Emmett tells her.

“Do you have peroxide, baking soda, and dish detergent?” She asks, looking at something on her phone.

“Why?” I ask 

“It says it will get the smell to become odorless.” She shows me on her phone.

Blake and I ran to get the stuff, even though Emmett protested. I stopped and picked up a couple Slip and Slides because they are going to have to rinse off after and what better way than to slide. Then after spending a few hundred to de-skunk our guests, I sent Satan an email, but only because she deletes all I send. Maybe it will teach her that I do send helpful advice, or See the Light will just actually be the stinky group I tell everyone.

When we got back, Emmett told us he would handle Quinn, and we could set up the pools. Blake and I ran in to change into something other than our suits. Brian seemed to be the cruise director. Actually, more like he wasn’t getting dirty. So the tables were moved and like pools and half naked people were everywhere. Blake and I were asked to explain the whole slip and slide and in the middle of my explanation, Brian just walked away and told them to do it. Really it should have been self explanatory. 

Everything went according to plan and soon the smell lessened enough that eating cake didn’t sound as gross. So like, I cut the cake and ate Brian’s piece and mine then ran and leaped on the Slip and Slide. Then like everyone kind of did it, and it would have been great, but then, like MM decides to add dishwashing soap to the Slip and Slide without warning anyone. Let’s just say there was distance sliding going on. Poor Quinn ended up in the woods, with Emmett laughing up a storm. Did I mention that for Quinn, Emmett like didn’t mix the peroxide with the baking soda like we read, but kind of dumped it in Quinn’s hair. The weird red and rust streaks aren’t horrible, but I think it was poison ivy he landed in. Whatever, it made Emmett happy on my happiest of days.

Mom wanted to toasts to be done, so she like stopped Brian from sneaking me away and called for everyone to say something. 

EMMETT

“Brian, you managed to get him to the altar, never thought anyone would be crazy enough to marry you, but then I guess you needed someone with Baby’s special brand of crazy. Have fun and call if you get bored.” 

Brian glared at Emmett.

TED

“Um, I honestly have to say I couldn’t think of anyone who deserved Justin more than Brian. Good luck and if you need bail money, call.”

Why would Ted think Brian needed bail money?

MM

“A few years ago, I would have said Brian wouldn’t have married anyone unless it was… well, so Justin isn’t so bad. Although you know, we could have all gone with you guys to Cancun.” 

We were so going to have to go back to Big Q, cause I like, burn. Thanks MM for ruining my surprise!

SEPTEMBER

“The girls and I would like to say, it’s not fair. I mean we all get like dressed up and you know out of bed, and Justin manages to land you. OUCH, congratulations Justin, even though…

DAPHNE

“WE WANTED TO SAY WE ARE HAPPY FOR YOU.” She wasn’t look at us, but September.

“I also wanted to add that anyone who needs to know how Justin did it, needs to apply with the squad as we are accepting applications for GBF’s.

MARCO

“Daphne, me, and the PJ’s will talk to you guys later. Justin you are our Prince and we will diligently follow the example you gave us in landing the King.” 

“What, never get dressed, show up for work willy nilly and possibly plan world domination?” Brian mumbles.

MOM

“Brian, thank you for finally giving me a son-in-law to torture Craig with. Justin, maybe actually listen to Brian and don’t get in any trouble in Mexico.”

“MOM!” I yell as we get up to go.

“Listen to me? That’s a pipedream.” Brian comments.

“I listen, it’s just you never want me to do anything fun.” I tell him.

“Gagging you was fun.” He tells me, pulling me behind him.

“You just wait, one night I’m going to gag you.” I tell him getting in the car.

“Can’t wait.” He smirks.

I waved as they discovered that birdseed sticks to you when you’re still wet.

Skunk Smell Remover:

1 quart hydrogen peroxide

¼ cup baking soda

1 teaspoon dish detergent (Dawn works the best)

Mix together and wipe it on. For fur or hair, rub it in. Rinse well afterwards.

This really does work. Tomato juice does not.