I later found myself lying on the black leather couch in Brian's office, the room spinning around me as I tried to keep from ralphing again.

Brian had changed into a black v-neck shirt that he conveniently had on hand. He was sitting at his computer desk at that moment grading papers.

"I am so sorry about your shirt, Brian," I repeated for what had to have been the tenth time.

"I said that it's okay," he said, not sounding very convincing. "That's why I keep an extra shirt here, although I'm usually the one doing the puking on myself, not some tweaked out twinkie."

"But I ruined your other shirt! It was such a nice fucking shirt..." I wailed.

"You've seen my wardrobe - I have tons of shirts. Now, get up."

I looked up and saw that he was suddenly standing beside me, holding his hand out to me. I reached out to him and he quickly jerked me up off of the couch as if I were lighter than a feather.

"Whoa!" I said, grabbing onto him tightly, burying my face between his pecs. "Damn, you're strong... and you smell like sandalwood and magic."

"It's Gucci Envy. Now, let's go, sonny boy. I'm putting you in a cab home."

"No! I can't go home. I told my mom that I'm staying the night at Daphne's. Our parents think we're dating."

Brian burst out laughing. "Her parents actually let you spend the night with their precocious daughter?"

"Yeah... Daph's mom even put her on the pill so I won't knock her up."

The laughing continued.

"Fuck you," I said, pushing Brian away from me before grabbing onto him again to keep upright. "Your mom thinks that you and Lindsay dated in college, so there."

"Touché," Brian conceded. "By the way, what happened to your shirt?"

I looked down and saw all of my pale flesh, which was still flecked with silver confetti. "I don't know... it's probably being used as a cum rag in the backroom by now. Would you happen to have an extra, extra shirt up here?"

"Sorry. I guess I'll just have to parade you half-naked through the joint while we gather up Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Maybe one of them will let you crash at their place for the night."

We went back down to the dance floor, which was louder and brighter than ever. I tried to keep my eyes closed as Brian dragged me by my hand through the crowd, lest I imagine Bugs Bunny giving a blow job to the Incredible Hulk on one of the go-go platforms or something.

Brian walked me along the length of the bar, stopping to ask one of the bartenders if they had seen Ted lately. The answer must have been a negative, because I heard Brian yell "fucking Schmidt", which made me burst out in giggles.

"What?" he yelled in my face.

"You said ‘fucking Schmidt,'" I squealed, gasping for breath. "That sounds like ‘fucking shit.'"

"Yes, I'm aware," he snarled. "He probably split after Emmett found a trick to go home with."

"Ooh, lucky Emmett," I said, finishing my sentence with a burp.

And then Brian said the most beautiful thing I had ever heard come out of his mouth, even more beautiful than the time he recited How Do I Love Thee?* in class:

"Fuck... I guess you're coming home with me."

Brian took me to claim my coat from the coat check counter, walked me out to the small parking area behind the building, put me in his Jeep, told me to stay put while he went back inside to get his coat and briefcase, came back out about five minutes later, and then began driving in the direction of his loft all while I had a goofy smile frozen on my face.

"You're sleeping on the couch," Brian sternly informed me.

"Aww... you're no fun," I griped.

It took no time to get to the loft, since Babylon was only a few blocks away. My legs seemed to be made of spaghetti noodles at that point so Brian had to practically carry me into the building and hold me up while we rode the elevator to the fourth floor.

Once we got inside his loft, Brian sat me on a barstool and made me drink a bottle of water.

"I should have warned you about Anita's E," he said. "I don't know where the fuck she gets it, but it's hit or miss. Sometimes it's pure but other times it's absolute garbage. The tab you took may have been laced with PCP, meth, or some other shit. Or, it may have been pure but you're just not used to it.

"One time I took something she was touting as E and I eventually became convinced that my body was not mine anymore... like I was somehow outside of myself. I sat on one of the couches at the club for a good three hours completely unable to move, although I imagined the entire time that I was shaking my ass off on the dance floor. It wasn't too terrible until I pissed my pants because I couldn't get up to go to the fucking restroom."

I covered my eyes with my hands. "I'm never doing drugs again, ever."

Brian snorted. "If I had a nickel for the number of times I've said that..."

The next thing I knew, Brian was stripping off all of my clothes.

"Wha... what are you doing?" I asked, hoping that he had changed his mind about me sleeping on the couch.

"I'm putting you in the shower. You're covered in glitter and you reek."

"Blame Dirty Foot for that last one," I mumbled.

Luckily, Brian did not ask me to explain.

I still couldn't stand up without falling over, so Brian joined me in his big walk-in shower. My dick had been hard for most of the night, so being within reach of a wet, naked Brian Kinney was doing me no favors.

Especially when he was rubbing his soapy hands all over my body.

I gasped and held my breath when he ran a hand through my pubes, over my unbelievably hard dick, and down to my balls. I then babbled something that vaguely sounded like "holy shit, that feels so good, don't stop" before grabbing the back of Brian's head and plastering my lips on his.

He returned my kiss for several seconds, his hand still cupping my sack before pulling away.

"Justin..." he began to say.

"Get out of your head and kiss me, dammit," I growled before attacking his mouth once again.

That time he complied without a breath of protest. Better yet, his hand found my dick once again and he only had to stroke it for about ten seconds before I came. If he hadn't been there to hold me in his strong arms, I was pretty sure my whole body would have turned to jelly and flowed right down the shower drain along with my jizz.

Once I was able to move again, I clumsily grabbed onto Brian's gigantic dick and began to jerk him off. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep up a steady rhythm so he wrapped his right hand around mine and helped. Our lips and tongues danced together beautifully as we brought him off.

We spent a few more minutes washing and fondling each other before getting out and drying off with his lush red bath towels. More accurately, Brian dried the both of us off while I leaned against the sink.

He then carried my boneless body to his bed.

"What happened to the couch?" I slurred as Brian pulled the covers up to my chin.

"Shut up before I change my mind," he answered before turning off all the lights and lying down beside me.

I wanted to savor the experience of Brian spooning me, but I was out within seconds.