After Brian's meeting adjourned, with the school board members saying that they would take a vote later that afternoon on Brian's fate, I spent the rest of the school day feeling like I had a swarm of bees in my stomach. I couldn't even eat lunch, I was so fucking nervous.

Daphne could sense something was wrong as I sat at our lunch table and stared at my greasy piece of pizza.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I wanted so badly to tell her everything about me and Brian, but I knew I couldn't. It wasn't as if I did not trust Daphne to keep it a secret, as I had always been able to confide in her about everything, but never anything that big.

I shook my head slowly, unable to look at her. "Nothing."

"Bullshit, you look sadder than you did when Jack died at the end of Titanic," my best friend said.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I cried my fucking eyes out when he died and still do every single time I watch that fucking movie. No tears today, though."

"Then what the fuck is wrong?" she demanded to know.

I shrugged, deciding to tell her what was bothering me at that very moment. "I'm just worried about whether or not Mr. Kinney will be allowed back at school. It would really suck if he were fired, especially if it were partially my fault."

"Yeah, that would greatly reduce the amount of eye candy around here," Daph admitted.

"What about Glen Reeves?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "What's going on with you and him lately, anyway? I thought you'd be sitting with him instead of at the Nerd Table with us."

"Hey," September said in a defensive tone. "We are not nerds; we are young, sophisticated intellectuals."

I looked at September and asked, "Okay... how about the ‘Yuppie Table?'"

She smiled and nodded. "I like that."

Daphne glanced over her shoulder at the Jock Table where Glen was sitting with his buddies. "I told him that I wanted to sit here with you today since you've been gone from school for so long. But as far as what's going on with us... I don't know."

"Have you guys done the nasty yet?" I asked.

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. "That's none of your business."

"Oh come on, I tell you everything," I claimed, the guilt of my secret love life scratching at me once again.

Daphne leaned in and whispered, "Well, we've fooled around some. He wants to do more and so do I... I think. Only, he's a lot more experienced than I am and I do not want to come off as a total freak who doesn't have a clue."

"So practice first," September interjected, making both Daphne and I jump as if we had forgotten she was even there.

"Nah," Daphne said, wrinkling her nose. "I've heard horror stories about the first time. If the guy isn't careful, it can be really painful."

"Ugh, you have no idea," September said. "When me and Jeremy did it the first time, it hurt so much. The next time he wanted to do it, I told him that I wished he'd been gentler before and he was all, ‘That's why I don't like doing it with virgins - you girls are so fucking whiney.'"

"Maybe if you did it with someone who was also a virgin, it wouldn't be so bad," I offered.

"Someone like you?" Daphne asked.

"Aww, that would be so sweet," September cooed. "Who better to lose your virginity to than your best friend?"

"September, I'm gay," I pointed out.

"So? That's even better!" September all but shouted. "You won't have to worry about it being weird afterwards, because it'll be purely physical. Think of it as a favor you're doing for each other."

Daphne and I looked at each other with slightly curious expressions before the bell rang.

I saw Daphne again during English Lit class where our sub Mrs. G was trying her best to interpret Hamlet. I wished like hell that Brian was there and hoped that he would be back very soon.

Daphne passed a note to me during class that said: Are you thinking about what September said?

I honestly was not, but I gave Daph a slight nod anyway. She must have noticed that I was bothered by something and guessed that had to be it.

I had my Economics and French classes before the school day was over. As always, I met Daphne at her locker so she could drive us home.

We spent the short ride to her house with Destiny's Child serenading us with songs from their Writing's on the Wall album.

Daphne pulled into her driveway and cut the engine in the middle of "Say My Name."

We sat there for a few seconds, neither of us moving to get out of the car before she said, "Would you actually... do it?"

"Do what?" I asked, although I knew and was hoping to prolong the inevitable conversation.

"You know - swap virginities with me?"

Fuck.

I fake-laughed as I stared at the dashboard. "That concept has always sounded so weird to me, as if your virginity is an actual thing you can just hand over to someone like it was a piece of gum. Like, here you go, enjoy."

Daphne giggled. "Yeah... but would you?"

I finally looked at her. "Daph, must I remind you that I'm a fag?"

"I'm well aware, but you've never fucked a guy before," she stated as if it were something she was absolutely sure of.

"No, but I'm not totally inexperienced," I confessed.

Her mouth dropped open. "When... and with who?"

Fucking fuck. I really needed to learn when to keep my mouth shut as Brian had suggested to me more than once before.

"It's whom," I said, correcting her as I often did when she used incorrect grammar.

Daphne scoffed. "Whatever, you fucking geek. Tell me."

I unhooked my seatbelt and grabbed the top handle of my backpack at my feet. "I have a lot of homework to catch up on."

She grabbed onto the sleeve of my coat before I could escape.

"Oh no, you don't. You're not going anywhere before you tell me who you've..." She paused and gasped. "Holy shit, not that Emmett guy?"

Hell, Emmett already approved of me using him as my fake boyfriend with my mother, so I may as well...

I sighed. "Yeah."

Daphne looked almost disgusted. "You said that he wasn't your boyfriend! You even got all pissed at me when I even suggested it!"

"Well, I was embarrassed, I guess," I claimed. "I mean, he's not technically my boyfriend but we have messed around a few times. He's not my usual type but he isattractive. He's really nice and he's a great kisser, too."

I was proud that I wasn't lying about that last part.

I could see Daphne trying to restrain her abhorrence of her memory of the flaming queen she met before. "But... you haven't had sex with him yet, right?"

"No, I'm technically still a virgin," I said, that time sad that I wasn't lying about that part either.

She bit her lip before asking, "Well, even though you like guys, if you had to have sex with any girl on the planet, like if the future of the human race relied on it, could you even entertain the thought of doing it with me?"

I took a breath to answer, but she interrupted me.

"I mean, I'm not a total troll, am I?"

"No! You're beautiful, Daph. Yeah, I'm sexually attracted to guys, but I can still recognize an attractive girl when I see one. Hell, if I were given the chance to fuck Reece Witherspoon, I probably would."

Daphne laughed before confessing, "I would fuck her, too!"

"Maybe we could even have a foursome with her and Ryan Phillippe, huh?" I offered.

"That would be fucking hot!" Daphne said as we both laughed like two hyenas.

We finally calmed down before Daphne asked, "Will you at least think about it?"

"Yeah, I'll think about fucking Ryan Phillippe," I said with a smile.

She smacked me on my arm. "No... you know what I mean."

I slowly nodded. "Yeah, I'll think about it."

Satisfied with my answer, Daphne finally let me go home. I said hello to my mother, who was helping Molly with her homework in the living room, grabbed the cordless phone, and went to my room.

I quickly changed out of my school uniform into a pair of jeans and a baby blue sweater before dialing Brian's phone number, which I had memorized by that point. The line rang six times before his voicemail picked up.

"Hey, this is Brian Kinney. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks."

I had no idea what the fuck to even say but went with, "Hey Brian, it's Justin... Taylor. I was just wondering if you've heard anything about, well, you know. Um... give me a call back or send me an email. I... I hope they made the right choice. Uh, alright, bye. Oh wait, this is Justin Taylor, if I didn't say that before. Okay, bye."

I hung up the phone and smacked it against my forehead. "Fucking spastic idiot."

I then realized a few seconds later that I, the fucking spastic idiot, forgot to check to see if I had received an email from Brian, since that was the way we had communicated in the past. I nearly broke my neck tripping over a pile of dirty clothes on the floor as I ran to my desk chair to turn on my computer.

It turned out that Brian had not sent me any emails, thought I really wasn't expecting him to. I recalled the last conversation I had with him where he got pissed at me for nagging him about his drinking and drug use. I hoped that his anger had only stemmed from the chemicals in his system and that he wasn't still mad at me.

I sent Brian a to-the-point email asking if he had heard from the school board.

I paced around my bedroom for the next hour, the cordless phone in my hand as I willed it to ring, before I decided I could not wait anymore. I checked my email one more time, pouted when I saw that Brian had not replied, then put my shoes on and stomped down the stairs.

Mom was in the kitchen chopping up some raw chicken breast.

"Hey, Mom, can I borrow the car?"

"What for, honey? Dinner will be ready in an hour."

I said the first thing that popped in my head. "Emmett's car is on the fritz and he wanted to take me out to dinner tonight."

Mom turned and narrowed her eyes at me. "Emmett, huh?"

"Uh, yeah. You remember Emmett."

She chuckled. "Oh yeah, I remember Emmett... couldn't forget him if I tried."

"So, can I have the car?"

Mom sat the knife on the cutting board and sighed. "Justin... about this Emmett."

I put my hands on my hips, prepared to defend my fake boyfriend to the death. "What about him, Mother?"

Her mouth hung open for a few moments as she searched for what to say. "He's... I don't think he's right for you."

"Why not? You've only met him once and only for like, five seconds, so how would you even know?"

Mom made a creaking noise in her throat, clearly struggling with what to say next. "He's just... I mean, when you described him to me before, I never pictured... that."

"That what, Mom?" I asked, although I was more than aware of what she meant. I was sure that my mother never pictured her sweet, naïve gay son with a flamboyant fairy like Emmett Honeycutt.

I would have laughed, if I didn't have to continue with my charade.

"Look, I'm sure that Emmett is a very nice man," Mom said. "He must be, in order for you to want to spend your time with him."

"Yes, he is very nice," I said in a smart-ass tone.

"But honey-"

"As long as I'm happy, what should it matter?" I yelled, my eyes spontaneously welling up. "So what if he wears make up and colorful clothes? Can't you at least be happy that I'm happy? Would you rather I date a guy who looked like Brad Pitt but was a total asshole?"

I would date a guy who looked like Brad Pitt even if he liked skinning puppies in his spare time, but I was trying to make a point.

Mom looked down at the floor and sighed. "No, you're right, I'm sorry. It was wrong for me to judge the book by its cover."

I blinked my crocodile tears away before asking, "May I please borrow your car so I can take my boyfriend Emmett out on a date? I'll be home before nine."

Mom turned back to her dinner preparation, clearly ashamed of herself. "Yeah, my keys are in my purse. Be careful."

I felt like a total shit, but I grabbed Mom's keys and my coat before zooming out of the driveway.

I drove straight to Brian's loft and slowly circled the building, not seeing the Jeep parked anywhere. Undeterred, I parked across the street from the building and nearly screamed with joy when I discovered that the front door was unlocked.

The elevator was not waiting at the landing and in spite of how sadly out of shape I was, I ran up the three flights of stairs, completely out of breath when I reached the top.

I knocked on Brian's door, which he did not answer. I knocked again several seconds later, even calling out his name once I could breathe again and form words.

He did not answer, so I boldly tried to pull the door open.

It was locked.

I waited for the elevator to take me back to the first floor, deciding then that I was going to drive up and down Liberty Avenue until I spotted the Jeep.

I cruised around the gayborhood for about ten minutes and found what I hoped was Brian's Jeep parked just down the street from Woody's. I had to park two blocks away and hustle my ass down the slick sidewalk to the bar.

I let out a sigh of relief when I found Brian sitting on a barstool at the main bar area, but frowned when I saw that he was there with Michael. Sitting with them were Ben, Ted, Emmett, and Lindsay.

I debating sneaking out before I was seen, but my fake boyfriend's voice cut through the air.

"Oh my stars and stripes! Get your hot little ass over here, cutie!" Emmett yelled.

I walked over to the group and gawkily waved. "Hey, everyone."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Michael snarled.

"Michael!" Lindsay scolded.

He ignored her. "Isn't it a school night, little boy?"

"Yeah," Brian confirmed before smiling at me and saying, "we both have school tomorrow."

I gasped and squealed, "You get to come back?"

Brian spread his arms victoriously. "I'm reinstated immediately."

I let out a girlish scream before running over to Brian, wrapping my arms around him and planting a kiss on his delicious lips for the first time in days.

"That's awesome!" I yelled.

Brian put a finger in his ear closest to me and wiggled his hand. "Yeah, it is."

Lindsay slid off of her barstool and said, "Well Brian, congratulations again, but I've got to get home to Mel and J.R."

"Give my little sweet pea a kiss for me," Michael said to Lindsay.

"I'm surprised the old ball and chain let you out at all," Brian mumbled, hugging Lindsay before she said her goodbyes and left.

I took Lindsay's empty stool, which was luckily between Brian and Emmett. I said the first thing that was on my mind.

"So... my best friend Daphne wants me to take her virginity," I announced to the group.

Brian choked on the sip of beer he had just taken.

"She wants you to fuck her?" Emmett asked as if he was making sure he heard me correctly.

I smiled and nodded.

"Gay men and straight girls sleeping together - isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse?" Ted asked.

"Have you ever been with a woman?" Brian asked, although he was already well aware of my sexual history.

"Lots of times," I claimed. "When I was fourteen, I had sex with four girls at summer camp. When I was fifteen, I had an affair with my mom's best friend. When I was sixteen, I made it with Mrs. Elstead, my geometry teacher."

All the guys looked at me with surprised faces.

"No!" I yelled. "No!"

"You asshole!" Ted said.

Brian laughed. "Oh, trust me, Mrs. Elstead used to be quite a fox, but then she put on fifty pounds after she got married."

Emmett put his arm around my shoulders. "How do you even know you can even be with a woman? Do you even think you could get it up?"

"At his age, he could rub it against a tree and get a hard-on," Brian said.

Michael cut in and claimed that he had been with a woman back in high school... only after he gave her five bucks for a blow job because she charged everybody five bucks.

"I don't consider what straight people do in bed to be sex," Emmett said. "It's just not sex without something up your butt."

Blake, who I hadn't noticed was absent from our merry group, walked past us without stopping. Ted got up and ran after him.

Emmett leaned in and said into my ear, "Teddy thought Blake stole his wallet, but we found it between my couch cushions. Hopefully Blake will stick to his guns, not wanting to be with someone who would accuse him of being a thief, even if Teddy did have a good reason to think he was a thief."

Ted returned to finish his beer a minute later, a look of defeat on his face.

The guys soon decided that they were going to go to the diner for a bite. After everyone took care of their bar tabs and put on their coats, Brian pulled me aside.

"Come sit in the Jeep with me for a minute," he said.

"Brian," Michael brayed like an old donkey. "Come on. We're ready to eat."

"I'll meet you guys later," Brian said through gritted teeth as he pulled me to the door ahead of their group.

The two of us walked out to the Jeep where Brian promptly lit a cigarette. I lit one also and settled into the passenger seat, wishing he would turn the heater on.

"I'm so fucking happy you have your job back, Brian."

"I don't know what the final vote was, but at least five out of the nine had to vote to keep me."

"All nine of them should have voted to keep you," I said confidently. "It would have been a fucking disgrace if they had let you go."

Brian took a deep drag from his cigarette and nodded. "I have no idea why Hobbs would stick up for me the way he did. Of all people, you'd think he would be passing around a petition to have me canned."

I held back a smile, happier than a pig in shit that my plan had worked. "It's a mystery."

He looked at me blankly for several seconds. "Justin, now that I have my job back, I think it would be wise if we stopped seeing each other."