JUSTIN 

I stared and stared. How could he? I mean the picture of the water park was one thing, but really, pictures of him and Gus riding every ride, that's just wrong. Well I decided that if he got to have fun, well so would I. I called my phone tree and got dressed, my husband will not be in anymore pictures with lifeguards.

“Justin wouldn’t it make more sense just to give in?” Ted asks.

“Are you kidding, do you not see this?” I ask, putting my phone in his face.

“They aren't even touching.” Emmett says from the back seat.

“You’ve got to admit, before Justin, that was right up Brian’s alley.” Why did I bring MM?

“Because you have this weakness for the idiots of the world.” Blake tells me. OOPS, I really have to stop saying things out loud.

“Justin, even though I hate you for getting Brian, he wouldn't cheat.” September tells me. 

“He's just trying to stop this plan you had of acting responsible.” Daphne tells me. 

“I swear you guys are like, such a disappointment sometimes.” I tell them. 

“WHAT!” They yell. Man I think I like lost hearing in my ear.

“My actual plan was to get him to realize he could be irresponsible. I mean, I like need him to be responsible because we all know I'm going to screw up, but for once, he could run off and have fun.” I tell them.

“Wait, you told me you were going to torture him for yelling at you.” Daphne tells me. 

“And what’s the first thing you did?” Ted asks her.

“I told Brian.” She grudgingly admits.

“Exactly, I swear we are going to have to hold a class on how to plan, because you have to like prepare for HBF interference. In fact, you all are sitting with the one person who managed to keep his mouth shut.” I tell them.

“Ted never tells anything.” Blake tells us.

“I’m as surprised as you guys are that he had a secondary real plan.” Ted tells them.

“Well we all know it isn’t MM.” Daphne tells us, eyeing September, but then knowing she would have blabbed too.

“I would have kept it a secret.” MM pouts.

“Like my proposal?” Drew asks.

“Justin made me do it.” MM can really make Gussy seem like, all grown up sometimes.

“I might have wound you up, but you like, spew like a volcano. I just learned how to get you to do it.” I tell him, smirking.

“Wait, who didn’t tell?” September asks.

I think since I kind of let them rule out everyone in the scooby van I rented, it should have been obvious by now, but hey, they just couldn’t believe the Queen could keep quiet.

“It was me, or at least he used me, because he needed a wardrobe for the part.” Emmett tells them.

“So let me get this straight, or at least run it through the maze your mind seems to go in. You acted responsible because you wanted Brian to not be?” Ted asks, and really, he just said the plan, so why ask?

“Well, yeah. I mean after listening to hours of woe is me Claire. I saw me, waiting to break out of Brian. So I sat around under the umbrella making all these plans. Which really ruined the whole “Real Lives of the Men of Babylon” night I so wanted to do, but it’s still in the works.” I tell them.

“I still think that we should leave Todd a mystery.” Emmett tells me.

“Yeah, but he like wanted to get the free Advertising.” I tell Emmett, parking next to Brian’s car. I swear he needs to get over the idea someone might hurt his baby, I mean he parked like a mile out.

“So are you going to get him?” Ted asks me.

“No, you are so going to my class. Think of it as mandatory, it will save you, like a heart attack later.” I tell him, throwing a speedo at him. 

“No, I refuse.” Ted tells me.

“GET HIM.” Emmett yells as Ted runs.

I skipped along as they tackled a protesting Ted. I realized that if Ted was all serious all the time, I’d be stuck wearing shoes the rest of my life. See, I get why he and Brian get along, they both are way too serious, and it’s like one can keep the other from really having fun. Cynthia and I sat around theorizing this one night over a few margaritas. I mean, they both landed like, fun partners, and seem to think they need to live through us. 

I spotted Brian laying by the pool, with way too many guys practically prancing their asses in his face. Well I can prance, but really, I think the assholes need to see what Brian really likes. I put on my short shorts swimsuit and took off to the largest slide. Gus sees me and waves, but I’m so making an entrance today. I got to the top and had to figure out how to like slide all sexy, which really I should have thought about maybe diving, I mean, I do a mean flip. I was still debating when MM pushed me and fell in behind me. So it kind of went like this,

“I was like trying to be sexy?” I yell.

“My head is like in your ass” He screams. 

“Well move it.” I scream, when I feel like he’s trying reverse birth.

“I can’t.” He screams flaying.

“Yes you can, because you're never getting in my ass.” I yell, trying to push him away.

“Stop, I might go over the side.” He whines.

“We’re inside a tube, trust me you won’t plunge to like, your death.” I tell him, finally turning enough that he like slides past me screaming, which would have been funny, but like Emmett was behind me and I went from head up my ass to foot in my mouth. Then like when the foot disappeared, my face was suddenly in a crotch that I’m sure will get my ass killed.

It didn’t help that we were just about to come off the slide and like everyone had to stare at Emmett because he was laughing like a hyena. I mean, I guess you could consider it sexy that my shorts road all the way up into a massive wedge and my face was still in Emmett’s crotch when we catapulted out.

When I got on my feet I ran for Brian, because I swear Drew was like all growling, and really, Emmett’s car meets wall, has nothing on being bent in half. 

“So is there some reason you thought I wanted to see you blowing Emmett?” Brian smirks.

You know, I really just didn’t have it in me to laugh, so I shoved Mr Perfect Hair in the water. Only like he grabbed my foot and how did my ass end up in MM’s face again. I was going to say something, but I looked up to see Brian bent over laughing, and you know it was just what I wanted, so I swam off MM, and pulled up so that my face was like in his and kissed the shit out of him.