BRIAN 

I sat in my office debating whether I want to deal with Deb, who has been sitting patiently in my reception area for the last hour. Not demanding to be able to see me. Ted has been smart enough not to say anything that didn’t involve business for the last couple days. Michael has been silent, but I have a feeling he's just waiting until he's ready with his newest plan. 

P-Town changed a lot for me, and it's the reason I called Justin in the end. He was right, I didn’t call because I ran instead, to what I thought I wanted. I told Justin things in a way I never told anyone, and being the relationship-phobe everyone knows, I hid from giving more of myself than I ever had before. In one night he made it okay to say things that I hated about my life, and I wanted to lock him in with me and never let him go, so when I had the chance I went back to my old life. Only, the idea of fucking other guys didn't work like it always had. I kept trying to find a way to get Justin out of my head, which only led to me walking away from each guy. Which had Michael saying shit like they just weren’t up to my standards, loudly to everyone, to embarrass the men I was rejecting. Then trying to corner me to find out where the fuck my head was, which, when I thought about it, the answer was- with Justin. Lindsay was the reason I finally called.

“Brian, why are you even there?” She asked me.

“He made me feel.” I tell her quietly.

“It’s what someone who touches your heart does.” She tells me.

“He’s so much younger, and could have anyone, what makes me think I’m going to be the one he could stay with. I want him to stay, but why would he when he knows the life I’ve led.” I tell her.

“Because love isn’t a number, it’s wanting someone more than you want to breathe.” She tells me.

“I hate that I can’t stop thinking about him.” I tell her.

“Then do something to convince him you're serious about him, and bring the man who you love to meet us.” She tells me.

“I never said anything about loving him.” I tell her.

“Brian, you can’t stop thinking about him. Your words, not mine. What makes him so special to you that you called me to talk, in a way you never have?” She asks me.

“I told him things I haven’t told anyone, even you. As crazy as this sounds, if I could have found a way for him not to leave I would have kept him with me that day. I went to his graduation, not that he knows that, I mean what the hell was I thinking showing up when I really only just met him.” I tell her.

“My dearest friend, you fell hard for someone in one day. Avoiding him won’t change what you’re feeling, and trust me there just isn’t any pill to change it. Not running off with Michael, or playing at a game you’ve been tired of for a long time.” She tells me.

“I wonder if he will even talk to me after a week?” I tell her.

“Where is the Brian Kinney I know, because you never sit around, you go after what you want. So be you and go get your heart.” She tells me.

My heart, God, do people really fall in love that easily? I watch my friends go from man to man but never finding the one for them. Yet I met him under a streetlight, on a night I was planning on bypassing Babylon but almost wrecked my car when I saw him standing there.

I look up to see Cynthia eyeing me, so I nodded. It was time to see if I was going to lose the only mother I knew. Deb walked in, not screeching or giving her death glare, so at least I had one last chance to see her as the woman I always thought she was.

“What can I do for you?” I asked, not looking up from a flyer on my desk.

“You can let me say I’m sorry for the phone calls before, and I hope you allow me to meet your Justin.” She tells me.

“He’s not what Michael told you. I won’t put Justin through anything that could have him ending us.” I tell her, looking at her.

“I figured that out, when Ben told me he let Michael think those things.” She tells me.

“I’m waiting for Michael to show up.” I tell her.

“I told him if he did, not to expect to come to my house.” She tells me.

“This is different than I expected, you’ve always defended Michael’s actions.” I tell her.

“Brian, it’s not about Michael, but about you being happy in a way I’ve never seen you. So tell me about Justin.” She tells me, getting comfortable.

“He’s easy to talk to about anything, he gave me a chance when I didn’t call for over a week. I could tell he was just waiting for me to be the guy people told him I was, but didn’t seem to be passing judgement until I gave him a reason, which I never did.” I tell her.

“So, he managed to get past walls that I never thought anyone could.” She tells me.

“It’s hard to have walls when he didn’t give me a reason to have them.” I tell her.

“Carl and I would love to meet him, without any preconceived notions. Even if it’s just for dinner with the four of us.” She tells me.

“I’ll ask him, but maybe don’t call me a dozen times. He mentioned that he thought it was a bit excessive.” I tell her.

“Just tell him that I call that much out of boredom, when none of the queens at the diner are as entertaining as you are, but I’ll try to keep the number down.” She tells me, kissing my cheek and leaving.

JUSTIN

Just five seconds, five lousy seconds and I wouldn’t be standing here with the dickhead. Five, you know, the number before six, which was the reason I didn’t miss him. I went to get a coffee and stopped long enough to drop the napkin in the garbage and ended up face to face with Michael.

“You know, Brian isn’t going to want you when he finds out what you were trying to do to Ben and I.” He tells me.

“It’s me, not I, and since I didn’t do anything to Professor Bruckner, I don’t see Brian having a problem with it.” I tell him.

“You had Ben talking about you, because you keep running around him, showing off.” He tells me.

“I can’t help that your husband talks about me, but since he isn’t the kind of guy I go for, I don’t get what caused you to think I wanted him.” I tell him.

“Ben’s hot, and guys like you think it’s fun to fuck who ever you want. Ask Brian, it’s a motto he lives by, you’re just the flavor of the week, so have fun before you find out that he would never keep someone around if it means losing me as a friend.” He tells me.

“Okay, as interesting as your opinion is, I think I’ll let Brian and me decide how this relationship is going to work. Unlike your toadies, I have a mind of my own and can use it to make my own decisions. Right now my decision is to give the man that flew to see me a chance to prove with his actions that he wants me. If he decides you're more important, than I’ll allow you to spew to your heart's content how little I could mean to my boyfriend.” I tell him, looking over at a guy clapping.

“So, you ready to kiss Ted’s ass so he can finance yours?” Michael asks his new target.

“No, I’ll leave Ted to kiss yours, since you enjoy it so much.” The guy tells Michael. “Hi, I’m Blake, and you must be Justin. I mean, who else would have Michael foaming at the mouth but the guy Brian has told me so much about.” Blake tells me, shaking my hand and pulling me away from Michael.

“It’s nice to meet one of Brian’s friends, so far I’ve only met two, Lindsay and Mel.” I tell him, smirking when Michael frowns.

“They’re really great girls, and Gus is Brian all over again.” Blake tells me.

“Maybe Lindsay and Mel should be told that having a drug addict around Gus isn’t something they should be doing.” Michael says loudly, to everyone walking by.

“I guess they think that everyone deserves a second chance, I mean, I’ve been clean for three years.” Blake tells me, not Michael, who doesn’t like that we are ignoring him.

“Neither of them seem to care who you were, just who you are, so I could see why they were willing to give you a chance.” I tell him.

Blake was staring behind me and I turned to see Ted walking with Ben. “If you want to leave, we leave.” I whisper to him.

“I can’t avoid it forever, I just hate that I want to be with him.” He tells me, letting Ted hear him.

“Ted’s moving on, so why don’t you?” Michael asks him.

“Not a problem Michael, hopefully Ian is all he could wish for.” Blake tells him, as another guy comes in, walking towards Michael.

“I don’t want anyone but you.” Ted tells Blake.

“Why do you think I want Ted?” Ian asks, confused. “Michael was going to introduce me to Brian.” He tells us.

“I told you that Brian would be around, but so will Ted, not that I would set you up with Brian.” Michael tells him.

“No, I told you that I wanted to get to know Brian, but you said that I should make friends with Ted so that I could meet Brian.” He tells Michael.

“Witness what I told you Ted, and enjoy it.” Blake tells him, walking off.

“Hey Professor, tell Gilligan that if he doesn’t leave me alone that the restraining order you had the school convince me not to get, will be on your desk by tomorrow. I don’t appreciate being your tool to make your husband pay attention to your sorry ass.” I tell him, running after Blake.

TED

I waited for Ben to say something to contradict Justin, but he just walked into the coffee shop. Michael stood with his arms crossed glaring at Justin as he left to catch up to Blake. What the hell am I doing letting Blake think these two are more important. I turned to follow the man who should have been first, not second to a guy whose biggest accomplishment in life was being Brian Kinney’s best friend.

“If you follow him you're only setting yourself up for disappointment. He’s never going to be happy with you when there are so many other guys that could offer him more excitement than the latest opera release.” Michael warns me.

“It’s better than standing around acting like you’re really the friend I thought I wanted in my life.” I tell him.

“Since I’m really the only friend you have; I mean you could count Emmett, since he gives away friendship to anyone, but Brian barely tolerates you, and my Ma only likes people that I want around. So you’d be giving up the only real family you have, for a guy who most likely will have you dancing with Crystal again.” He tells me.

“Fuck you Michael, and all the great advice you give.” I tell him, leaving to go back to work.

I followed Justin and Blake until they went into a building that was the new headquarters for an up and coming business, J&D designs. I saw a girl about to go in and stopped her.

“Is this J&D designs?” I ask, just to see what she’d say.

“Yes, I’m Daphne, the D, and my partner Justin is the J. Are you interested in us helping you meet your business needs?” She asks me.

“I think Ted is more interested in why Justin walked into the building with Blake.” Lindsay tells her as she walks by me.

“Why are you here?” I ask Lindsay.

“Justin and Daphne hired me to work for them. Apparently my art was just the kind they were looking for. Did Brian send you here to get Justin to work on something? Because otherwise you should get to work before your late, yet again.” Lindsay tells me.

“I need to see Blake.” I tell her.

“Ted, straighten out what’s important in your life then when you see Blake make sure it’s him.” Lindsay tells me.

I walked into Kinnetik and went into Brian’s office without invitation. I needed to tell him what an ass I’ve been lately.

“Getting back early from lunch. Just trying to impress me or did you come to lick your wounds?” He asks, looking up at me.

“How did I become someone who could screw up with Blake?” I ask him.

“You had help, but you didn’t seem to be able to see past Michael and his way of making it sound like you would be better off without someone who was younger and more attractive than you ever thought you’d get.” He tells me.

“Or you thought I could get.” I tell him.

“No, I just assumed you’d find away to let your insecurities fuck it up and once again I was right.” He tells me.

“You don’t think that Justin will give you the same kinds of insecurities?” I ask him.

“I’m not looking for an exit strategy that Justin could take, so I won’t let those thoughts win. I listened to the advice of a friend and realized she was right, love isn’t a number.” He tells me.

“Is Blake done with waiting on me to get my shit together?” I ask him.

“I think Blake would wait until the day he died if you gave him a reason to believe in you. One thing you need to understand, you fuck with his head one more time and I’ll make it so you never get near him again. He didn’t deserve the shit you made him want to do.” Brian tells me.

“How did he manage to get in the circle of Brian Kinney?” I ask.

“Not by bending over, if that’s what you're trying to imply. He needed a friend, when you weren’t being anything but a reason to want to hurt himself. I couldn’t let someone who managed to kick the bullshit out of his life let it back in. I respect him for being able to repair his life and move on to better things. Now I respect the fact that he’s a positive influence on my life and others who need someone to stand by them when they need someone to be a light in the dark for them.” He tells me. “Since I’m done with this conversation, get to work and maybe you’ll find a way to get Blake to see you as more than one of Michael’s mouthpieces.” He tells me.