Chapter Five:  The Lost Boy

Debbie's disappointment at not finding Justin at her house, after she and Vic left the hospital, was nothing compared to her fear.  She had sadly watched while the old confident, self-assured Justin began fading away, to be replaced by a young man who was clearly traumatized.  She was close to panic, when her phone rang.  It was Jennifer, calling to let her know that Justin was with her.  Relief washed over Debbie.  If there was anyone she would want Justin to turn to at this moment in time, it would be Jennifer.  Debbie had a lot of respect for the woman.  Although Jennifer had not warmed to the idea of her son being gay in the beginning, she came around quickly.  It was a shame that Justin's father had not been as enlightened.

Debbie knew that Justin was going to need a lot of patience and understanding, while he grappled with his feelings of guilt over what had happened to Brian.  She had spent as much time as possible, while waiting for Brian to come out of his coma, trying to make Justin see that he held no blame for the attacker’s actions.  However, it had been obvious from day one that her words were having little impact.  Justin had only avoided falling into a deep depression because he had to stay strong for Brian.  He felt that Brian would need his strength when he came out of the coma, but the discovery that Brian didn’t even recognize him had changed everything for the young man.  Debbie figured that Justin was thinking that if Brian didn’t even know of his existence, then he would have no need for his support in any way whatsoever.  She couldn’t help but notice how devastating that thought probably was for Justin when he left the hospital for home.  And now the fearful thought came to her that he might distance himself from all of the people in Brian’s life.  She prayed it wouldn’t come to that.  Justin had become as loved by her in the last year as any one of the others in their little sphere.

Jennifer hung up the phone after reassuring Debbie, worry lines evident on her face.  She could hear the same concern in Debbie’s voice that she was also feeling.  Justin had surprised her by arriving at her house in a cab.  She had spent some time at the hospital for the last couple of weeks or so, but mainly to support Justin.  She could see how torn up he was over Brian’s injuries.  She was well aware that Justin had strong feelings for Brian, but hadn’t recognized the depth of those feelings until the bashing.  She had tried to convince Justin to return to her then, not out of any ill will towards his living with Debbie, but because she wanted to keep a closer watch over him.  He had refused at that time, saying that he felt closer to Brian while living with Deb.  If that was what he needed, she wasn’t going to argue.  But now, he had shown up at her doorstep, looking like a completely different person than the young boy with the sunny smile, she had known and loved all his life.

Jennifer had waited patiently while Justin struggled to explain why he felt he couldn’t go back to Debbie’s house.  Hearing that Brian hadn’t recognized her son when he finally became conscious, and seeing the desolate look in Justin’s eyes as he spoke about it, tore at Jennifer’s heart.  He actually sounded as if he had been the one bashed by that bastard, Hobbs, and not Brian.  His color seemed paler than before, and he had obviously lost weight.  Her attempts to get Justin to eat something were wasted.  The best she was able to accomplish was getting him into her spare bedroom, which had been set up especially for him from the first day she and Molly had moved in.  Her next task had been to call Debbie to keep her apprised as to what Justin had decided to do.  Now all that was left for her was to wait… wait and see what Justin would do next, and whether Brian’s condition would improve.

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Debbie had barely hung up the phone with Jennifer, worry clearly etched on her face, when she heard the front door opening.  Michael appeared around the corner seconds later.  He noticed right away that his mom was bothered by something.  It surprised him, given that the news about Brian was better than it had been since the whole ugly ordeal began.  He would never forget the shock and horror he felt when he received the call from Debbie the morning after the bashing.  Nor would he forget the way it upended every plan he had made for his future.

Michael arrived at the house that David had chosen for them not long after touching down at the Portland airport.  David had sent a car to pick him up.  The driver had been waiting, sign in hand, for his arrival.  Michael swallowed his disappointment at David not picking him up personally, but figured there had to be a logical reason.  When he knocked on the front door of the house David had bought for them, he was surprised to find it answered by the new housekeeper David had mentioned earlier.  She explained that the good doctor would be home shortly.  She had been given instructions to give Michael a tour of the house to make sure he was made comfortable.  When asked where David was, she simply stated that the Doctor would explain when he got home.

Michael was impressed with the house at first.  It was quite large, with five bedrooms and four bathrooms.  There was a kidney-shaped pool and jacuzzi out in the back-yard, with all the poolside amenities for comfort.  A large grill and small outdoor kitchen set-up was off to the side of the expansive patio.  The landscaping of the half acre property was immaculate, with beautiful trees providing plenty of shade.  Everything about the house screamed, ‘money’.  It was the kind of house, with all its top notch high quality furnishings and décor, that Brian would probably love, but it felt a bit too much for Michael.  It was a far cry from the humble home his waitress mom had provided him throughout his childhood, or the even more humble home he had shared with Emmett on his Big Q salary.  He also noticed that, despite the fact that many of his things had been sent on ahead to Oregon, few of them were visible in the house.  It really didn’t feel like home, but he told himself to give it time.

How was he to know there would be no time for adjusting?  David did arrive more than an hour later.  He dropped his coat on the side table at the entrance and hurried in to locate Michael.  As quickly as he could, he explained how his son had needed him after getting into a fight with his mother over some petty grievance.  Michael listened patiently, but couldn’t help wondering if David would neglect him now that he had his son back in his life full time.  It was obvious that David was exhausted, so Michael decided to table any questions about the location of his own personal items.  He had planned to have a long talk about their future together over breakfast, especially how he had no intention of letting David support him financially.  The call from Debbie changed everything.  The last thing David said to him when he left him at the airport for the return flight, was that he should spend the time back in Pittsburgh re-evaluating his priorities.

Michael intended to do just that.  Right now his priority was to make sure Brian was going to be okay before he even considered returning to Oregon.  If that disturbed David, then so be it.  For now he needed to find out what was bothering his mom.

“What’s wrong, Ma?  You look as if Brian has fallen back into a coma.  I just left the hospital.  He was doing a lot better.  So, what’s up?”

“It’s Justin.  He doesn’t want to come back here for now.  This thing with Brian not recognizing him has hit him hard.  He thinks it would be better to separate himself from all of us for now.”  Her voice sounded strained.

Without hesitating, Michael responded.  “I think that’s the smartest thing he’s done since meeting Brian.  It’s a lot smarter than asking him to attend his Prom with him.  We all know how that turned out.”

Debbie’s mouth dropped open.  Michael failed to notice the look in her eye as he went on.

“If he hadn’t been so selfish, wanting to show off his prize catch to all his little friends, this never would have happened!”

Michael never saw it coming.  Debbie slapped him so hard his left ear began ringing.  She had slapped him in a motherly way countless times for decades, but this was different.  None of those other smacks had actually hurt.  This one did!

“Ma!  What the fuck!”

Debbie’s eyes were blazing.  “Shame on you, Michael Novotny!  You know damned good and well that Brian NEVER does something he doesn’t want to do.  It was his choice to go to that Prom, not Justin’s.  And who would ever expect some idiotic homophobic prick to go so far as to try and murder him over a dance?”

“I didn’t….”

“Didn’t what?  Didn’t mean to be an asshole?  Do you really think that Brian would appreciate you blaming Justin for something like this?  Isn’t it bad enough that Justin is blaming himself?  That’s why he left the hospital without trying to talk to Brian, and why he isn’t coming back here.  Don’t you see?  Justin is lost now.  Not only does he blame himself for the bashing, but now he sees that Brian has blocked out all memory of his existence.  Even though Brian lives, he might as well be dead to Justin now, because everything they were to each other… everything they meant to one another is gone and no one knows if it will ever come back.”

Michael felt guilty.  He loved Brian and he knew how the man felt about Justin.  Debbie was right.  If Brian hadn’t lost his memory, he never would have wanted anyone to blame Justin for what happened.

“I’m sorry, Ma.  You’re right.  The only one who should suffer for this whole thing is the bastard who put Brian in the hospital.  I’ll talk to the others.  We’ll do our best to reassure Justin and work to see that the guilty party pays for what he did.”

Michael sounded truly contrite.  Debbie’s glare softened, but the steel was still in her voice.

“Oh, he’ll pay.  He’s out on bail for now, but he’ll pay if it’s the last thing we do.”

At least that was what she hoped for.  The trial was still weeks away, but for now it was more important to keep an eye on Brian’s progress, and pray that the missing memories of the young man who had finally opened up his heart would return.  If not, she knew that the old Justin might be lost to them forever.

To be continued…………….