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Author's Chapter Notes:

Justin has returned home and is slowly letting the past back into his life, but a chance meeting may affect his future.  Meanwhile, Brian is learning more about his missing year and is about ready to include the story of Justin Taylor too.

 

Justin hurried down the hallway on his way to class.  He had been home for a little over a month and was just beginning to feel more like his old self.  He still had his dark moments… more like dark days on occasion, but he was learning to accept the darkness and move past it as best he could.  He made it a point to avoid Brian’s crowd at first, but Jennifer made sure that everyone knew he was back in town to attend the Art Institute.  They decided that if ‘Justin wouldn’t come to the mountain, the mountain would come to him’, so to speak.  Giving in to Jennifer’s advice, they decided not to come all at the same time.  She made it clear that this might be too intimidating or overwhelming for her son if they came en masse.  In a very real way, he felt he had lost everything he had, or might have had with Brian for good.  The pain of that, combined with his continued feelings of guilt, were still too raw.  Being in the company of everyone at the same time, who shared in his last year with Brian, might prove too much to handle. 

 

Debbie was elected to pay the first visit.  Her connection to Justin was more than just about Brian.  She had not only treated him like a son, but actually did think of him as one too.  By the time she left Jennifer’s house, the two made headway in re-establishing their close bond.  Justin had to admit that he missed her brash, yet totally honest ways.  They agreed to meet occasionally, as long as it wasn’t somewhere they were bound to run into Brian.  Justin declared that he simply wasn’t ready to face Brian yet.  Despite Debbie’s insistence that she knew Brian didn’t blame Justin for what happened to him, even without understanding who he was to him, Justin couldn’t get past his feelings of guilt.  The sheer fact that Justin said he wasn’t ready ‘yet’, rather than stating he ‘never’ wanted to run into Brian, gave Debbie a glimmer of hope.  She left somewhat satisfied with the outcome of their first get-together, since talking at the courthouse.

 

Over the next week or so, others came to visit Justin at his mother’s house.  First Emmett and Ted arrived.  Justin found himself thoroughly enjoying spending the time with the two men he had come to love as benevolent ‘Dutch Uncles’.  It didn’t hurt that neither man tried to impose their opinions on how Justin should handle his future, with or without Brian in it.  They kept the tone of their visit light, just as it usually was before the bashing.  Next came Mel and Lindsay, bringing baby Gus with them.  Justin felt such a warm tug in his heart when seeing little Gus.  He’d never forget his role in naming the baby.  It brought out a moment of pride in him.  The girls only talked about how Gus was growing, then asked questions about Justin’s schooling.  The fact that they cared so much about him, helped Justin to shake off a tiny bit of the depression that hung over him like an ominous dark cloud before a storm hits. 

 

Their visits, and the way they treated him, helped Justin to begin classes at PIFA with a bit more optimism for the future.  On this day, Justin was experiencing an excitement that had been ripped away from him the night of his Prom.  The only thing that would have made it better would be in having the old Brian, memory intact and unharmed, to share that feeling with him.  As often happened, Brian was at the forefront of Justin’s thoughts as he made his way towards his first class of the day.  He suddenly slowed when he heard music coming from the open door of the room next to his.  There was something so haunting about the sounds pouring from the room.  It was a violin, which had never been one of Justin’s favorite instruments.  However, the piece that was being played fit Justin’s mood to a tee.  It seemed almost melancholy, yet with a hint of comforting anticipation in it.  Justin stopped, then moved towards the door.  He had to see who was playing with so much feeling.

 

A peek inside the room revealed the slender form of a young man who appeared to be around Justin’s age.  He was dark where Justin was light.  He held his violin as if making love to it.  His eyes were closed as he swayed to the music he was creating.  Justin felt drawn to the young man’s creativity.  Without thinking, he took a few steps into the room, caught up in the sounds being produced.  Then, suddenly, the music came to an abrupt stop when the young man opened his eyes and saw that he had an audience.  He didn’t look surprised to see Justin standing there, just the opposite.  He seemed pleased to have someone watching him.

 

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to interrupt you while you were practicing,” Justin apologized.  “I just had to find out where that beautiful sound was coming from.”

 

“So you think my music is beautiful?” the young man asked.

 

“Yes, yes I do.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard that piece before.”

 

“You haven’t.  It’s my own composition.  My name’s Ethan Gold.  So, what’s yours?”

 

“Justin… Justin Taylor.” 

 

“Well Justin Taylor, are you also a student here, or are you just visiting?”

 

“Yes, I’m a student too.  As a matter of fact, I’m now late to my class, which is right next door, thanks to you.”

 

“Next door, huh?  So, you’re an artist?”

 

“I like to think I am.”

 

“Do you do portraits?  I’d love to have you do mine.”

 

All of a sudden it dawned on Justin that the stranger, this Ethan Gold, might be flirting with him.  He liked the feeling that he was attractive to someone again, even if it wasn’t the one person he really wanted to find him attractive.  Brian popped up in Justin’s thoughts again, as he did so many times, even when Justin tried hard not to think of him.  His thoughts were interrupted by Ethan.

 

“I asked if you would like to draw me; that is if you are into doing portraits.  I have my first CD coming out soon, and I could always use your sketch on the label.  I could even pay you for it.”

 

Justin was taken aback.  He hadn’t drawn any portraits of anyone since doing Brian’s.  No one else ever inspired him the way Brian always had.  He wasn’t so sure he wanted to draw anyone else.  Yet the thought did intrigue him.  Plus, it might be nice to finally make a little money from his work. 

 

“How do you know you’ll like my work well enough to pay me?”

 

“I have a feeling I’d like anything you drew, Justin Taylor.”

 

There it was again.  Ethan Gold was definitely flirting with him.  Before he could follow through on that thought, it dawned on him that he was going to be really late for class if he continued chatting with the violinist. 

 

“Oh damn!  I’m going to get in a lot of trouble if I don’t get to class.  And you probably want to get back to your practicing.”

 

“Then you’d better get going.  I’m sure we’ll see each other again.  And maybe you can give me an answer to my proposal then.”

 

Justin turned on his heel and started to leave, throwing out an agreement to meet again over his shoulder.  He missed seeing the amused look on Ethan’s face.  He had no way of knowing that Ethan Gold was a man who loved the pursuit of new romantic adventures, nor that he was fairly certain he’d just found his next conquest.

**********************************

 

It had taken Brian a long time after leaving the hospital to feel prepared to learn about his missing year.  Before the trial, he only wanted to be told about the people he knew and cared about.  Mel and Linds brought baby Gus for a visit several times.  They surprised him by bringing up how he had become quite fond of his son after his birth, and actually spent quite a bit of time with him.  They even mentioned how he had refused, at first, to sign over his parental rights to Mel.  This felt strange at first, because Brian clearly remembered having no intentions of being involved in the baby’s life, once it arrived.  He was also surprised to learn where his son’s name came from.  However, he wasn’t quite ready to talk about anything to do with Justin Taylor yet.   He told everyone that Justin was a puzzle he wasn’t prepared to put together for the time being.  He wanted to work on learning more about the ones he already knew, and how the previous year had been for them first.

 

Michael was naturally the first to spend time with Brian, and give him the scoop on what his life had been like during the previous year.  His number one topic was all about his relationship with Dr. Dave.  Michael didn’t bother to hide the fact that Brian wasn’t too keen on the good doctor.  When he described some of the meetings the two men had, Brian was happy to hear something that sounded right in character for him.  He made a mental note to learn more about Dr. Dave from the others, in order to get an unbiased picture of why he objected to Michael’s relationship with the man.  Michael also avoided telling Brian about their temporary estrangement, which came about when Brian outed him to a co-worker at the thirtieth birthday party he threw for him.  He had no intention of letting Brian know that there was a time he was so mad at him that he shut Brian out of his life completely.  He did tell Brian about the support he gave him when Brian’s co-worker, Kip, tried to sue him for sexual harassment on the job.  When Brian asked Michael what happened to that case, he was happy to hear that the suit was dropped suddenly and mysteriously.  It appeared that no one had a clue as to why Kip changed his mind, then disappeared from sight.  It didn’t really matter in the end, because Brian knew he would never force himself on anyone, especially at work.

 

A visit from Debbie and Vic was very enlightening.  She was the one to tell him the details of his father’s death, and how the two men had come to a tenuous understanding when the old man found out that Brian made him a grandfather.  She pulled no punches when explaining how the animosity between Brian and his mother had intensified after Jack’s death, which explained why she never bothered to check on her son’s progress after the bashing.  She tried to insert some information about his relationship with Justin, but Brian wasn’t quite ready to hear those stories.  She wisely dropped it.

 

Brian was happy to get a visit from both Emmett and Ted at the same time.  It seemed the two of them were inseparable, more often than not.  That felt very familiar to Brian.  What didn’t feel right was learning of the things that had happened to them during the missing year.  When told about Ted’s brush with death from an overdose of drugs, Brian was surprised.  Although Ted was the oldest member of their little ‘family’, Brian knew he could be very naïve and a bit needy, but also not into overdoing anything.  When he heard just how the overdose occurred, it made more sense.  Then he was told about discovering how Ted had named him the executor of his living will.  His reaction to this news was no less incredulous than it had been when heard it for the first time.  Brian breathed a sigh of relief that Ted survived the ordeal.  However, he wasn’t too happy to hear that Ted had continued in his relationship with the young man, who almost got him killed, until the very day that Brian was bashed.  His surprise over Ted’s misadventures was nothing compared to the shock of hearing about Emmett’s attempt at conversion therapy, after a scare with a possible HIV positive diagnosis.  The last person he would have tapped for such a ridiculous situation was Emmett.  All the things he learned, including about Lindsay and Mel’s temporary split, along with Linds actually considering marrying a Frenchman so he could stay in America during this period, was enough to make Brian finally ready to learn all of the elements of his life during the previous year.  This included learning more about the young man, who had somehow become an integral part of his life during that year.

 

His fading reluctance to deal with the stranger, Justin, vanished completely after seeing him in the courtroom.  Brian’s curiosity was piqued at that time, and was then reinforced with the eerie feeling that Justin was a part of his dreams that he could never fully recall upon awakening.  By the time Brian was resolved to face Justin, it was too late.  The young man had left town for the second time.  It left Brian frustrated, but then he heard through the grapevine that Justin was returning to town to attend the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts.  Lindsay had already told him that Justin was a talented artist, which she enjoyed encouraging.  She also told him of sketches Justin created, which he showed them, including several of Brian.  Brian saw none of those sketches, being unaware that Michael had removed any he found at the loft before Brian came home.  Brian decided to give Justin a little time to adjust to school, remembering his own hectic first year of college.  Then he determined he would pay a visit to the school and seek Justin out.  It was time to get some answers directly from the young man himself; in particular, he wanted to learn why Justin kept away from him, if they really had once had such a close bond.

 

 

To be continued………

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