BRIAN

I left the whole locked door alone, but that and the other phone bothered me. Justin was in the kitchen when Hannah and I walked in the house from practice. Hannah and Trina wanted to practice in the backyard. I waited until they left to finally ask him about the whole thing.

“What’s behind that door?” I ask him.

“What door?” He asked, confused.

“The one that stays locked.” I ask him.

“My studio, it just became a habit to lock it when Hannah started playing with toxic paints. You can go in there.” He tells me, handing me the keys.

I went to the door and opened it. The ceiling had large windows and the walls were covered in paintings. I walked around and saw that Justin not only still painted, but had become even better with time. He came in, looking at the walls.

“I always knew you were good.” I tell him.

“I’m better now.” He tells me.

“That’s always been one thing you never doubted about yourself.” I tell him, seeing the phone sitting on a charger.

“My father has that number.” He tells me.

“You still talk to him?” I ask him.

“Once in awhile, but we don’t really talk about anything important.” He tells me.

“Does he know about Hannah?” I ask him.

“Yes, but he also knows that he won’t meet her.” He tells me.

“That’s why you won’t let her answer this phone?” I ask him.

“I just don’t see the point in them talking. He never has anything to say about you that she needs to hear.” He tells me.

“How many of these are in your show?” I ask him, finding ones of me.

“All the ones except the set of you and me.” He tells me.

I look through the paintings of us and see where he had our relationship painted into a series. I saw myself the way Justin must have viewed us. “It was lonely for you?” I ask him.

“Not always, there were times when I enjoyed our lives. We weren’t together long enough for it to really bother me.” He tells me.

“So everything was shit, was it?” I ask him.

“Brian, no matter what anybody wants to believe, you let me see what’s out there, without guilt for wanting to be with other men.” He tells me.

“I wasn’t going to tell you how to live your life.” I tell him.

“What do you think?” He asks, waving at the other paintings.

“You're a genius, but you never needed anyone to tell you that.” I tell him.

We walk out of the room and Justin left the door unlocked. “I only locked it out of habit.” He tells me.

“Or you were afraid Hannah and I would come in and organize it.” I smirk.

“Do me a favor, don’t. I know where everything is. Where I put it.” He tells me, seriously.

MICHAEL

I went to see Ted, because I didn’t have anyone to talk to. The diner was closed for remodeling and no one was around to hang out with at Woodies. I couldn’t find Brandon anywhere, and Lindsay was getting on my nerves when she kept asking to stay at my new apartment. She didn’t get that I wasn’t there to wait on her hand and foot the way her she seems to expect. I got across the street from Ted’s apartment when Brandon pulled up, and watched Ted come out and get in Brandon’s car. I was shocked when Brandon kissed him and drove off. I started after them, but the car was gone before I could tell where they were going.

This had to be some kind of joke, why would Brandon bother with someone like Ted, when he could have anyone he wanted? I went to find Kevin and Jason to find out if this was some kind of joke on Ted. They were playing pool at the table that used to be Brian’s table.

“Where’s Brandon?” I asked, to see if they know.

“Wherever he decided to go, it’s not like we keep his calendar.” Jason tells me.

“Please. Like you don’t all tell each other what you do.” I tell them.

“Why would we do that? I mean, yeah if we were meeting for the night.” He tells me.

“Friends tell each other everything, but then maybe you aren’t as close to Brandon as you think you are. I mean, if you were, he would tell you he went on a date tonight.” I tell them.

“Okay, but really is there some reason you think we care?” Kevin asks me.

“He picked up the friend I told you about, Ted… you know, the boring accountant.” I tell them when they seem to not know who I was talking about.

“Again, why do you think we need to know?” Jason asks.

“Do you think it’s going to help his status as a stud by dating an old guy?” I ask.

“I think you following him around like a love sick puppy was much worse.” Kevin tells me.

“I’m not in love with Brandon.” I tell them.

“Dude, Brandon couldn’t make a move without you practically hanging on top of him. Why would you stand around watching him getting a blow job, or call as if you were his wife to tell him every second of your day? It screams to everyone you somehow think he wants you.” Kevin tells me.

“My other friends never minded. Brian always wanted to know everything.” I inform them.

“You sure he just didn’t want to hurt little Mikey’s feelings.” Jason tells me.

“Don’t call me that.” I warn him.

“I thought you wanted your friends to call you that, Mikey.” Kevin tells me.

“Only my best friend gets to use that.” I tell him.

“You mean the love of your life, Brian Kinney?” Jason asks.

“Yes, I mean my best friend.” I tell them.

“Didn’t you offer to let Brandon call you that?” Jason asks and turns to Kevin. “Remember, the whole nickname thing.” He asks Kevin.

“Look Michael, none of us minded you hanging around, but we aren’t your old gang. We don’t run around worrying about what is going on in Brandon’s life every second of the day. We also don’t interfere in our friends lives. If Brandon took this guy Ted out, it’s his business, not ours. Maybe you need to get over the jealousy that your friend got a date with Brandon.” He tells me.

I left, not understanding why they think I want Brandon.

TED

I didn’t sit around worried that I was going out with a guy that I used to fantasize would want me. He didn’t leave me hanging, wondering if he was serious. He called when I got back in town just to talk. He told me that if we were going to get to know each other, than we need talk. I found out that he still had a mother but his father died when he was young. The tricking isn’t anything but fun for him, but not something he would miss if he found the right person. He admitted that when he first came to Pittsburgh he liked the attention and tricking. He told me this would be the first time he went to the opera, but he liked music in all its genres. When he pulled up in a BMW instead of a penis car, it was nice.

At the restaurant he told me that this was on him since I paid for the tickets. Le Mont wasn’t really what I expected.

“If you don’t want to eat here, we can go somewhere else.” He tells me.

“I just don’t want you to think this is what I expect.” I tell him.

“I just wanted to make sure my first date was as great as it could be.” He tells me.

“How are you feeling about working with Brian?” I ask him.

“We aren’t talking about anyone but us. Tell me about you, I feel like so far only I’ve talked.” He tells me.

“I’m an accountant, which you know. I’m Jewish, but not one in practice. I just recently made up with my friend Emmett, which was probably the most exciting thing in my life. Well, I’m going to be a father soon, by my other best friend, Mel.” I tell him.

“You're having a kid, how is that the last thing you tell me? To me that should be the top of the list.” He tells me.

“You would tell a guy your going out with the first time that you knocked up your best friend?” I asked.

“Maybe not that way, but having a kid is something I hope for one day.” He tells me.

“Most guys I know that are your age don’t even think they want kids.” I tell him.

“My mom had me when she was in her late thirties, so she’s getting up there. I want her to be a grandmother while she can still enjoy it.” He tells me.

I really needed to stop trying to compare Brandon to Brian, they weren’t anything like each other. Brandon didn’t have the kind of life Brian had, so he wasn’t averse to relationships, the way Brian had been. When we got to the Opera, I really expected him to be bored, but he would lean over and ask me when he didn’t understand something, but never seemed bored by it. He stopped in front of my house got out and kissed me goodnight before watching me walk to my front door.

I turned around before going in. “If I asked you in?” I ask.

“I’d say yes in my head, but no out loud. I want us to be sure before we do this.” He tells me, walking up to me. “I want you to know that my head is trying to win.” He tells me, kissing me goodnight again.

JUSTIN

I was in the back looking for Hannah’s shoe, when she asked me to find it before going to sleep. How she lost it when she always keeps everything in it’s place is beyond me. I looked under every bush and even in the tree, because it was no where I would expected it to be.

“Justin, I found it in her room.” Brian tells me.

“How did it get there?” I ask, coming in the through the back door and stopping when I see the table set up with wine and cheese.

“I put it back.” Brian tells me.

“What are you doing?” I ask him.

“We’ve still never been on a date. We can’t go out with Hannah here, but I could do this for you.” He tells me.

“Is there a reason you feel that we need to do this now?” I ask him, sitting down.

“We’ve barely spent time together that didn’t involve running from one place to the other.” He tells me.

“Brian, we’ve been together every night since we decided to give this another chance.” I tell him.

“I wanted to do something we haven’t done.” He tells me, handing me my glass and picking up the cheese plate.

“What?” I ask, following him into my studio, where he laid a blanket out under the skylights.

“Stargazing, talking, eating, drinking. Pick one, or all if you want to.” He tells me, sitting down.

“It almost sounds like dating.” I tell him.

“We’ll do that too, but right now, work with what we have.” He tells me, smiling.

I put my glass down and laid down looking up at the sky as Brian lowered the lights and laid next to me. I forgot the sky and looked at the man I’ve loved most of my life. “I’ll always love you, you’re my curse and my blessing.” I tell him, kissing him.