ALEX

I arrived at the party late, so it wouldn’t seem as if I was waiting for Lindsay to show up. Everyone seemed to be talking and having a good time. I looked around and didn't see Lindsay in the crowd, but Michael was there on the couch with his arms crossed, and I guess you could say confused. I stood looking where Michael was and saw Ted and the recent stud standing together talking to some guys. Ted tilted his head toward the bedroom when he saw me. I left Michael on the couch because he'd always been rather transparent in his obsession. Getting to the bedroom, Lindsay was looking through the empty closet and drawers, I had a feeling she'd already searched most of the room. Walking by her I went in the bathroom to wash my hands and came out to try to start a conversation.

“It's Lindsay right?” I ask.

“Do I know you?” She asks.

“I think we've seen each other around, I know Brian.” I tell her.

“Did Brian invite you? I've been waiting for him to get here.” She tells me.

“You know Brian, he shows when he wants to.” I tell her.

“Lately he barely bothers, he really should realize if he wants to be a father to our son, then I expect him to show me he wants that.” She tells me.

“I heard he has another child?” I threw out there.

“Which just shows you how careless he is, he never bothered to know the child. At least with Gus, I made him do what any responsible father should. I just couldn’t do it again with another child.” She tells me.

“How would that be your responsibility?” I ask.

“Are you kidding? Brian left it all to me. I tried to get Justin to see that he couldn’t have it all.” She tells me.

“So he told you to handle it. You're right, he isn’t very responsible.” I tell her.

“Brian has to tell Michael what to do. I just know when I have to do things. I couldn’t let Justin think he could have a career and a baby. Unlike Brian, I didn’t want Justin’s dreams to end, when he could have waited. Justin could have found someone else later if he wanted a child. All having Brian’s child would do was ruin all the things I tried to help Justin realize.” She tells me.

“You don’t think Justin could have been able to juggle parenting with a career, a lot of people manage to do that?” I ask.

“He's a child raising a child, he couldn't understand, the way we would. He really had the life everyone dreams of, and couldn't do what he needed to do to realize it. He should have listened to me because he ended up the way I knew he would.” She tells me.

“He might not have wanted the life you dream of.” I tell her.

“Why wouldn't he want the respect of everyone? No one likes to feel like they never did something people could see and finally be proud of you for, instead of comparing you to someone else.” She tells me.

“I guess Justin’s parents were always comparing him to his sibling?” I ask.

“They didn’t care about him, it's why I took him under my wing. How could they not see he'd be more than someone who disappointed them?” She asks.

“Didn’t Deb actually let him stay with her?” I ask.

“She was probably upset that Michael once again wasn’t going to get Brian. I really think she kept Justin at her house to help Michael. In a way I hoped it would work, because Michael could have saved Justin by taking his place as Brian’s toy.” She tells me.

“I guess I never saw Brian being all that interested in Michael. Michael had been around for years, but their relationship never developed beyond friendship, at least that was how I saw it.” I tell her.

“Brian likes what he couldn’t get easily. Justin should have figured out Brian was going to lose interest when he made it as easy as Michael did for Brian to use him and toss him aside when there was a willing ass to take their place. I learned to not let Brian think he could do that to me, I guaranteed my place.” She tells me.

“How?” I ask.

“I gave him immortality.” She tells me.

“By having a child with him? Justin did that too, didn’t he?” I ask.

“Justin didn’t need to copy me.” She tells me.

“I doubt he saw it that way.” I tell her.

“You don’t understand, no one does. I tried to make Brian see it, but he acts like I took something from him. He never cared enough about Justin that it should matter to him. I have to find a way to stop him.” She mumbles.

“From what exactly?” I ask.

“Doing what he already did, ruining another person who should have become more.” She tells me.

“Did Brian do this to someone else?” I ask her.

“He does it to everyone. I was going to be a great artist, but he got in my way. Instead of focusing on what I should have been, I was trying to keep up with Brian’s never-ending party. I thought when I got off the ride called Brian and met Mel that I would be able to get my life on track, but instead, my art wasn’t where it was supposed to be. Mel wanted us to have stable lives and couldn’t see painting as a way to do that. I had to give up everything.” She tells me.

“Because of Mel or Brian?” I ask.

“With Brian I was still able to feed my muse, but I didn’t have time to do anything. With Mel, my muse didn’t have the freedom to develop. I didn’t want that for Justin. I kept an eye on him, hoping that I wasn’t going to see my life happen to him. I almost left Mel to stop Justin, but I couldn’t.” She tells me.

“Why couldn’t you?” I ask.

“Brian would have found out about it. It was so close that he would have, but Justin let the opportunity go once again. He could have still made that show, there were other people who could have stayed at the hospital with the kid while Justin was showing the art world who he was. Instead, he missed the show. I showed up in New York and once again saw what Justin gave up. The contacts he would have made would have given him the chance to see the world. I would have given up everything to have what he was practically handed.” She tells me.

“Why didn’t you try then to show everyone what you could have done with the opportunity? You were there and could have furthered your dream.” I ask.

“I can’t do what Justin does. For him it’s almost as if he doesn’t know he creates masterpieces. He sketches with a pencil and you can see what it would become in paint. His paintings are so lifelike and pull you in. He never seemed to see it as hard, to show his vision. He would have opened so many doors that only some artists will ever open, I wanted to be the one who helped him. It would have been magnificent.” She tells me, almost as if imagining this world.

“Why are you talking to a shrink?” Michael asks, looking between Lindsay and I.

“What?” Lindsay asks.

“Alex’s is the guy Brian used to talk to when he had some crazy idea there was something wrong with his life.” Michael tells her.

“Did Brian send you here to talk to me? Because you need to tell him that nothing is going to stop me from keeping Justin away from him.” She tells me, getting up and leaving angry.

“She doesn’t get that it’s Justin who’s in the way.” Michael tells me, sitting down.

“You can’t get that Brian never saw you as anything but a kid who would never make a life of your own. Michael, everything in your life happens because you want the world to stand still. Justin was never the reason Brian didn’t love you the way you wanted. You didn’t see that your best friend wanted someone to stand up to him, not constantly kiss his ass.” I tell him what everyone saw.

“He had everything, and Justin was changing the rules.” He tells me.

“Brian changed the rules, he was starting to see that his life didn’t have to end in Babylon. Justin gave him a reason.” I tell him.

“He never loved Justin, because he left him behind. I was still allowed in Brian’s world.” He tells me.

“He knew you couldn’t be hurt by staying, he cared too much to hurt Justin. He wanted Justin to have everything he didn’t think he could give him. He gave you the same opportunity, but you couldn’t even try. I believe Brian was hoping one day Justin would meet him again, only Brian would then be able to give Justin what he wanted. You see, Brian listened to you, but he talked to me.” I tell him, leaving.

I knew what I was dealing with, but who would she hurt to be at Justin’s side, was the problem.

BRIAN

I was outside mowing the lawn while Gus and Hannah were playing baseball. I waved when the gossip patrol walked by. I was enjoying being the one who watched the kids and the house. Justin told me that as long as I didn’t cook, I could live my dream. Miles brought Trina over and I decided it was time for Miles to be disappointed that he couldn’t be the winner in the contest for Justin.

“Miles, I thought you’d be at work.” I tell him.

“I was, but I thought I would see what being lazy was like.” He tells me.

“I hope you don’t plan many days like that, I really expect a lot from my employees. Like I told Charles, every employee will pull their weight or I’ll show them the door.” I tell him.

“What are you talking about?” He asks.

“The company that I just merged with, you know, Hawthorne. Well it will Hawthorne-Kinney tomorrow, since I own half of it. Didn’t I mention that when I talked to you?” I ask, smiling.

When Justin came home, I could tell Miles was talking around the watercooler. Only I didn’t like that Justin seemed pissed. He tried not to show it, but I know that you worry when he’s quiet. I waited until the kids were in bed, before finding out what pissed him off.

“I guess no one’s going to be surprised tomorrow.” I tell him, as he walks into the bathroom.

“Miles might be, if he says one more thing.” He tells me, and I’m relieved he’s pissed at Miles, not me.

“What did Miles say to you?” I ask.

“He told me he gets why I let you back in my life, but I was giving up a real relationship for a guy who will eventually dump me for someone else, when playing daddy gets old. I told him that was his life, not mine. I don’t think he liked it when I told him that. Of course I might have mentioned that I kept you around because you were good at everything you do for me.” He smirks, getting in the shower.

I followed Justin in and made sure he always believed it. I turned him around, grabbing a condom and lube. He put the condom on for me and fingered himself so I could watch, before turning around and impaling himself on my cock. I wrapped my arms around him and enjoyed the way he moved for us. He pulled my lips to his and sealed us together completely. He held my hips still while he moved for us. I ran my hand down his chest until I could wrap it around his cock and let him fuck my hand and cock. Justin broke the kiss, panting harder and groaning loudly when he came. He held himself up when I started thrusting faster, shivering from being over sensitive. I swallowed the moans by kissing him and came biting his shoulder to keep from screaming.