JUSTIN

I woke up to smelling something burning in the kitchen. Not realizing that I wasn’t home my first thought was that Hannah was trying to cook. It wasn’t until I got up that I remembered where I was. I took a deep breath and decided that it was time to let go of the past and see if my future was the idiot standing in the kitchen, who never learned to cook.

“Brian, what are you doing?” I ask, not believing the mess he was making.

“I wanted you to have a proper breakfast, since the first one I gave you is still not in the cards.” He tells me, waving a fork.

“That’s really nice of you, but maybe let me cook, since I like eggs without black crust.” I tell him, taking the pan and throwing it in the sink.

“Now you see why I did take out and the diner so much.” He tells me, shrugging.

“It was a mystery to me that you could be so picky about what you put in your body, but ate at the diner so much. Nothing cooked there didn’t swim in grease.” I tell him.

“I really just picked at the stuff I wanted to eat.” He tells me.

“Hannah will try anything, but quiz about exactly how it’s prepared. You should see waiters when she asks what oil they use and do they cook all the foods on the same surface.” I tell him, cracking eggs.

“Why did you come here last night?” He asks.

“I overreacted to what you said, I know you didn’t mean it the way it sounded. It’s just hard when you compare me to them.” I tell him.

“What got you to calm down?” He asks me.

“I talked it out with someone I never really talked to before, Ted. He really made me think about things in a different way.” I tell him.

“Where did you find Ted?” He asks me.

“When I left, I went to Liberty Avenue, and got out at the diner. Then I just walked. Ted found me wandering around. We talked and he told me how he saw things that happened, and it made me realize that only I saw things the way I perceived them. It’s weird to think that I never really talked to him.” I tell him, putting everything on plates.

“Ted was Michael’s Michael, he stood around waiting for something Michael couldn’t give him, and hated me for Michael wanting them from me.” He tells me.

“Why didn’t you? I always wondered about that.” I tell him.

“Michael would have been a noose around my neck. I loved Michael, but as a brother. He would never have fit into my life. We would have ended up hating each other because I would always want what he couldn’t give me. I just never loved him that way.” He tells me. “I found love in a place it wasn’t suppose to be, in a kid under a streetlight.” He tells me.

I couldn’t look at him, because I was afraid that he would realize what he just said. He said it without making it sound like a joke, or sarcastically.

“Justin, I know I never said it, and I can’t even say that I knew it then. It’s just, I missed you more than I thought I could. I left thinking that it would just fade away, but it was always right in front of me. I wanted you to live and have everything I never had. I loved you enough to let you go and find what you were looking for. I always hoped one day you would come back to me.” He tells me.

“So you let me go, hoping one day when I finished what I needed to do, I’d find you? Brian, learn to be selfish, I would have still done what I needed with you by my side.” I tell him.

“Does this mean you're willing to try again?” He asks.

“There are things that you need to understand, I don’t know if I could live here again. I can’t live with everyone trying to jump in. I won’t play the games we used to play. If you still need other men, then you do it without me being involved, and never bring them around Hannah.” I tell him.

“Justin, if we are really going to do this, other men can’t be a part of it. You deserve to have all of me, not just the parts I allowed you to have before. I need you to tell me what you meant when you said that you could have tried harder.” He tells me.

“Why couldn’t you be like other drunks and forget things you hear? Emmett wanted us to go see you and I refused, so I didn’t do everything I could have.” I tell him.

“I wouldn’t have talked to you.” He tells me.

“Brian, let’s not find a way to blame you for everything. I’m done feeling sorry for myself and you need to quit trying to find a way it’s always your fault.” I tell him.

“There’s only one other thing that I have to figure out. I came back to be closer to Gus, Chicago isn’t close enough.” He tells me.

“Brian, my job and really everything is there.” I tell him.

“Last night I told you I was retired, but I don’t see that being it for me. I want to finally start my own company. I wouldn’t mind if it was a joint venture.” He tells me.

“You want to do it here don’t you?” I ask, not sure if I could do this.

“I could do it in Chicago, it’s just that I want certain people and they are all here, but one.” He tells me.

“Is there someone in New York that you're going to court?” I ask him.

“Justin, there is only one artist I ever wanted to court.” He tells me.

“Charles will fight you.” He tells me.

“Charles got Emmett, he doesn’t get to have it all. As for where I want it to be, here, but we don’t have to live here. You don’t even have to come into Pittsburgh. I can set it up so that you can work from our house.” He tells me.

“House? Brian we aren’t going to automatically move in with each other.” I tell him.

“Then I’ll buy a house big enough that you can hide in your own room. If we are both going to raise Hannah, I want to do it in one place, not two. If you can’t live here, than I’ll do what it takes to be with both of you. I just can’t forget my son in all of this.” He tells me.

“Last night you said Lindsay is saying you were ruining my chances at fame. Do you honestly believe that is why she did what she did? I don’t.” I tell him.

“I don’t know what to believe anymore when it comes to the girls. Mel wanted to convince me that was the reason, but if it isn’t, than she would have to face the only other thing it could be.” He tells me.

“That her wife doesn’t like the competition for attention.” I tell him.

“There never was a competition, like I told her, being the mother of my son didn’t make her special in my eyes. It’s just I know that we are about to fight over Gus. I need to know if you will stand with me if I have to go for custody.” He tells me.

“You are thinking of trying to reverse giving him up?” I ask.

“I made sure if I wanted to they couldn’t say I wasn’t supporting Gus, and in essence being his father. Neither of them seems to remember that part of giving up Gus meant not cashing support checks.” He tells me.

“Is that even enough?” I ask him.

“Mel never officially adopted Gus, so yes, I can still regain custody of my son. I’ve done everything a father does for Gus.” He tells me.

“They will fight you, Mel never wanted you around.” I tell him.

“Then she should have fought to keep me from being the father, and she should have adopted MY son when she had the chance. Granted, now that they are using Michael for the next one, I think they are going to find out that me wanting to see Gus isn’t as bad as what Michael and Deb are going to expect.” He tells me.

“Please tell me you're kidding.” I tell him.

“Got the news from Gus, and Mel let me know she wanted someone who wouldn’t give them the same problems I did.” He tells me.

“Do they not realize that Deb is going to expect them to let her tell them how to do everything. That Michael is going to act like them using him, means they owe him their souls. Shit, if they paid attention to the way he is with you, they would have known better.” I tell him.

“Let them learn on their own. I want us to worry about our family.” He tells me.

“Brian where would we live if I considered this, it can’t be anywhere close by. I’m not saying I couldn’t handle Michael and her, I just don’t feel the need to have that back in my life.” I tell him.

“I’m not against Chicago, if I can get the people I want to move there, then I’ll open up there.” He tells me.

“I have to talk to Charles first, he gave me a chance and I can’t just quit on him.” I tell him.

“If I do this in Chicago, there is a chance Charles and I could talk about him joining me.” He tells me.

“Who do I have to help you get?” I ask him.

“Cynthia, who still works for Vanguard. If you don’t want head of the Art Department, Murph, and I’ve been considering getting Ted out of his closet and into the real world.” He tells me.

“Get Murph, because I don’t want the job. I’m about to have my first show in Chicago.” I tell him.

“A show?”

“I like graphics, but I never gave up being an artist.” I tell him.

“Charles was wrong, the fire was still burning in you. You just did it when you wanted it.” He tells me.

“Until I did, there was no point in doing it. Like I told you, I never do anything unless I want it.” I tell him.

“Always want things Justin, it’s something I love about you.” He tells me.

“I love that you loved Hannah the minute you knew.” I tell him, kissing him.