Part Four



The staff meeting had turned into an unofficial cocktail party held in the restaurant at the top of the high-rise building that housed Ryder Advertising. Justin was surprised by the number of people present; he hadn’t realized there would be so many. And, as Brian helpfully pointed out, they all worked for them now.



“I want to thank you all for coming today,” Marty Ryder said, gaining the attention of everyone present with his hoarse voice. “As I’m sure that rumors have been circulating these past weeks, I doubt it will come as a shock when I tell you that I’ve decided to retire and sell the company. What you probably don’t know is that one of our own will be taking up the reins. Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor purchased the Ryder Agency and Brian will be taking over as CEO as of Monday. Brian, would you like to say a few words?”



Brian nodded and walked up to the small dais. He looked over the room and, when his eyes came to Justin, gave a small smile. Justin didn’t pay much attention to what Brian was saying, knowing it was mostly about what they would need to concentrate on in order to make a smooth transition. Instead, he let his mind drift to his art and began cataloguing who in the room would make a good model for his next project—not that he would ever actually use one of their employees, but it was something to do. He was surprised, therefore, when he heard his name being called.



“Justin?” Brian said with a slight smirk, knowing he had caught his partner daydreaming.



“Sorry?” Justin said with confusion.



“I was trying to introduce you,” Brian teased quietly so that only those closest to them could hear. “You could at least pretend to be interested in what I have to say.”



“Sorry.” Justin mumbled as he joined Brian on the dais.



“As I was saying, Justin is half owner of the company, but will not have much to do with the daily operations,” Brian continued loud enough for everyone to hear. “Would you like to say anything, Justin?”



“Not really,” Justin said sheepishly. “I’m not good…with public speaking.”



“Okay,” Brian said. “I guess that’s everything. Enjoy the refreshments folks, and feel free to approach me with any concerns you might have about the transition.”



Justin took a deep breath and let it out slowly, glad that most of the people had turned their attention to the buffet and bar and away from him. Cynthia, Brian’s assistant came up to Justin and helped him with introductions as various employees came to greet him. Brian was being inundated with questions and congratulations, so Justin was grateful that his lover had thought to ask Cynthia to shepherd him through the gauntlet of people.



“It’s nice to meet you,” Justin said for what felt like the hundredth time as he shook the hand of a man in his early thirties. He was one that Justin had contemplated using as a model, but up close, he realized that he was all flash and little substance, a trait that would show through in both photograph and paint.



“If you don’t mind me saying, you seem awfully young to become co-owner of a major advertising agency,” the man, whose name Justin had already forgotten, said. “Besides investing in business, what do you do? Are you in school?”



“I’m…an artist,” Justin said. This man was making him uncomfortable, but Cynthia had stepped away for a minute and he could come up with no polite way out of the conversation.



“Ah, I see,” the man smirked. “Isn’t that just a euphemism for rent boy?”



Justin’s eyebrows raised, “No it is not.”



“Sure, kid.”



“Justin, I see you’ve met Mark, he’s one of our graphic designers,” Brian said as he joined them, making Justin sigh with relief. “Mark you could learn a thing or two from Justin here. You remember that piece in my office you were raving over last week? That was Justin’s.”



Mark seemed taken aback and Justin smiled at Brian. “I didn’t know you’d hung that.”



“Of course I did,” Brian smiled. “Now I interrupted your conversation. What were you boys discussing so intently?”



“Whether the term artist is a euphemism for rent boy,” Justin said in his guileless way, making Mark blanch.



“Really?” Brian said and narrowed his eyes at Mark.



“I…I…”



“You should know Mark, it’s not very bright to insult your employer,” Brian sneered. “And your reasoning is flawed.”



“How so?” Mark pulled himself together enough to ask.



“If I was kept… how could I pay… for half the company?” Justin asked. “Forty-nine percent, to be… precise.”



“I’m very sorry,” Mark finally said, his face flushed with embarrassment.



“Go away, Mark,” Brian said, shooing the other man with a casual wave of his hand. “And remember, just because there is alcohol provided, does not make it a smart idea to overindulge at an office party.”



“Yes, sir.”



When he was gone, Justin burst out laughing. “I thought he was going to pee his pants when I told you what he’d said.”



“Yes, well, at least he knows now to keep his trap shut,” Brian smirked. “Are you ready to get out of here?”



“I thought the party was supposed to go for another hour?” Justin asked.



“It is,” Brian said. “But we’ve done our duty, and without us around, the staff can actually enjoy themselves.”



“Then I’m ready,” Justin smiled. “Just let me thank Cynthia.”



BJBJBJBJBJ



Justin opened the loft door to let Debbie inside. Her visit was unexpected, and both he and Brian were rather surprised that she was there given that it was a Sunday and she was usually busy doing the family dinner with Vic and Michael right about then. Of course it might have something to do with the fact that Brian and Justin had decided not to go following their confrontation with Michael.



“Sunshine! You look good,” Debbie smiled and gave Justin her usual hug. When she released him, she went over to the sitting area where Brian was lounging on the sofa. She sat on the chair and Justin moved Brian’s feet and sat at the end of the sofa. Brian smirked as he put his feet back up, this time on Justin’s lap.



“So what’s up Deb?” Brian asked.



“I think I should be asking you that,” Debbie said. “I thought we had a standing appointment on Sundays?”



“We did,” Brian admitted as he sat up and faced Debbie. “But things change.”



“Like my son being a prick again?” Debbie said with a frown.



“If you already know the answer, why ask the question?” Brian asked smartly.



“I don’t know the answer,” Debbie retorted. “When I asked Michael what was up, he clammed up, the little shit. If you had done something, he’d have whined all afternoon about it, so I figured it must be something he did.”



“Does it really matter why?” Justin asked. He was reluctant to let Debbie put herself into the middle of this. He knew that she cared about him, but Michael was her son.   Surely it would be easier for her not to be involved.



Debbie gave Justin a sad knowing smile. “It matters, sweetheart. You and Brian both matter.”



Brian cleared his throat. “Michael said some pretty unforgivable things to Justin the last time he was here. I made it very clear to him that he wasn’t welcome back unless he had a serious shift in his attitude towards our relationship. Towards Justin specifically.”



Debbie nodded. She could imagine some of the hurtful things her son might have said. “Well, then I understand why you wouldn’t want to come around when you know Michael will be there. But don’t think this gets you out of family dinners. We’ll just have to figure something else out.”



“Why don’t you and Vic come here for dinner once a week?” Justin asked. “I love to cook. Or we could take turns. And maybe you and Vic could pose for me. I’d love to do a portrait of the two of you.”



“Well that sounds like a wonderful solution, Sunshine!” Debbie enthused. “And Brian can’t sneak away early if we’re at his house.”



Brian gave mischievous smile, “I’m sure I could find a way.” Debbie and Justin both scowled at him, so he relented. “But I won’t. How about Wednesdays?”



Debbie smiled. “That’s perfect. We’ll be here at six to help you cook, Sunshine. And plan dinner for seven. And we’d love to sit for you. I don’t work Tuesdays, and Vic usually keeps that day free as well. We could come by then.”



“That would be great,” Justin smiled.



“How is your work going?” Debbie wanted to know.



“You should show her the portrait you just finished,” Brian smirked. Justin had finished it on Saturday and Brian had been quite pleased with the results. It was stylish and sexy and still had an edginess that would appeal to many critics. The fact that it made Brian look good didn’t hurt either.



Justin smiled and led Debbie over to where the canvas was still drying on his easel. He carefully removed the cloth and watched Debbie’s reaction. He wasn’t disappointed



“Oh, Sunshine!” Debbie gasped. “It’s amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it before. The colors and textures…and the way you used the photographs…it all blends together and looks like one picture.   How did you make the photos look like that?”



Justin shrugged shyly, “I did a bit of work on the computer before I had them printed.”



“Don’t let him fool you,” Brian said as he came up behind Justin and wrapped his arms around the younger man. “He was very meticulous about the whole thing, taking measurements so that the pictures and painting would be in proportion, matching colors and textures. It was a very painstaking process, and one he did mostly in his head. He had more than half of the painting completed before he even got back the first test prints.”



“You’re going to show this, aren’t you?” Debbie asked. “Something this good should be on a gallery wall. Hell, it should be in a fucking museum.”



“We’ll see,” Justin said. “It’s not easy to get a show. And I need more work before I go out trying to get one. I’m not even sure how I would do it, considering my issues.”



“We’ll get you a show,” Brian promised. “We’ll work together to make sure it happens.”



Justin smiled but changed the subject. “I’ve decided to look for a model for my next piece. I was doing mostly still-lifes at first, but I think this technique is more effective with the human form. So I want to find a model.”



“You could ask friends first,” Debbie suggested.



Brian laughed. “I don’t think so. No offense, but I have no desire to have Ted, Emmett or Daphne naked in my loft.”



Justin nodded. “It would be uncomfortable.”



Debbie shrugged. “I suppose. But it won’t be uncomfortable having a naked stranger around the place?” She looked from Justin to Brian, both of whom had incredulous looks on their faces, and shook her head. “Never mind. Forget I asked.”



“Brian works with models at the agency, so he can get me photos of a few and I can contact the ones I think will fit best,” Justin explained. “It’s business to them, and they are used to posing, so I wouldn’t have to train them. But Brian, can we afford that right now?”



“Things are tight, but Pittsburgh models aren’t as expensive as a national model would be,” Brian told Justin. “I’ll work up a contract with a set fee we can afford.”



Justin nodded, trusting Brian to take care of the business end of things.



“Well, I should get back to the house,” Debbie sighed. “Vic will have tortured Michael into confessing by now, so it’ll be my turn when I get home.”



Brian walked Debbie to the loft door and gave her a hug. “Thanks Deb.”



“For what?” Debbie asked, confused.



Brian gave a small smile. “For coming here today. For being there for Justin.”



Debbie gave Brian’s cheek a pinch. “Michael is my son by blood, but you and Justin are my boys by choice. I love all three of you. No matter what goes on between you and Michael, that won’t change.”



BJBJBJBJBJ



Though neither man had brought up the subject, both men were well aware that the anniversary of the attack was rapidly approaching. Jennifer had expressed her concerns to Brian, and he had done his best to reassure her, but he wasn’t all that confident in his ability to deal with his own emotions, let alone Justin’s. Justin had discussed the anniversary with Jack at his now weekly sessions, and hoped that he would be able to deal with the anniversary.



In the end, Brian arranged for the two of them to take a week off so that they could be alone and away from everything for the event. He rented a cottage at a seaside town in North Carolina and they hid away from the world for the days before and after the anniversary. Justin packed his camera and his sketchpad so he could work while Brian tanned. On the day of, Justin brought out a video that Daphne had given him months ago, but that he’d never had the courage to watch.



“What is this?” Brian asked as Justin handed him the video.



“A video of the prom,” Justin said. “Daphne gave it to me a while ago. I thought, maybe, we could watch it together.”



Brian looked at the tape in Justin’s hand but did not touch it. “Are you sure you want to do that?”



Justin shook his head. “No. I have no idea what’s on the tape. I have no memory of that night. But I know how much thinking about it hurts you, so no, I’m not sure. I don’t want to hurt you. I also don’t want to watch it without you.”



Brian nodded slowly and took the tape from Justin. “We’ll watch together.”



Minutes later, they were holding each other on the couch while they watched random teenagers laugh and dance to cheesy music, nothing like what they played at Babylon. They were all dressed up in their gowns and tuxedos. None of them knew how the night would end for Justin and Brian.



“There I am,” Justin said, and Brian saw Justin in the background dancing with Daphne. Then Brian walked into the frame and Justin’s face lit up.



Brian paused the tape. “You were so happy to see me. I remember feeling like there could be nothing better in this world than to see your face light up the way it was right then.”



“You looked very handsome,” Justin smiled. “But what is with the scarf?”



Brian frowned as he remembered tying the scarf to the rafter. He remembered it soaked with blood as he sat in the hospital waiting to hear if Justin would live or die. “Maybe I’ll tell you someday.”



Justin nodded and didn’t press the issue. Brian pressed play and watched as the two men on the screen began to dance. It was like it was from another lifetime. Like it had happened to two different people.



“We were quite good together,” Justin sighed.



“We still are,” Brian murmured and pulled Justin closer, waiting for the moment when they left the floor and disappeared from view. When it came, he stopped the tape. “We made a stop in the men’s room in the lobby for a quick fuck before taking the elevator to the parking garage. You were laughing and dancing and I couldn’t help but smile at how happy you were. We walked to my jeep and shared a kiss. You turned to go back to the dance and I turned to get into the jeep. I could see you in the mirror as I unlocked my door and I remember thinking how lucky I was to have you in my life. And then I saw him… He had the bat and I tried to call out to you…I tried to warn you, but I was too slow…”



Justin held onto Brian tightly as he felt the shudders run through Brian’s body. As difficult as it was for Justin to hear this, it was ten times harder for Brian to say. But Justin needed to hear it and Brian needed to talk about it. They had learned to deal with the aftermath in therapy together, but they had never really dealt with the assault itself, or how it made Brian feel.



“I was helpless to stop him,” Brian said as he buried his face in Justin’s hair, as he sobbed. “Then he… and there was so much blood. I wanted to beat the shit out of the fucker, but I had to help you. And you were so still in my arms…”



“It’s okay, Brain,” Justin whispered and pulled Brian down so that they were face to face. “I’m here. I’m alive. He didn’t kill me. I survived.”



Brian nodded and held onto Justin tighter. It was some time before either of them was ready to loosen their hold, but when they did, it felt like they were both beginning to heal just a little.