Chapter 19 - Justin’s Meltdown.

There was no talking in the Jeep on the drive back to the loft. When they arrived, Daph made a quick exit, leaving Brian and Justin to brood together in peace. Upstairs, Brian shrugged off Justin's half-hearted attempt to start a conversation and went directly to the bedroom. He stripped and curled up on his side in bed without saying a word.

Which left Justin standing alone in the middle of the loft with no idea what to do next. He was too angry and hyper to sit, but didn't want to pace or do anything else that might make enough noise to disturb Brian if the man was resting. He wanted to climb into the big bed and comfort Brian, but didn't know if his efforts would be welcomed or if he'd only be making things worse. He wanted to go right back to Debbie's and lay into her and Michael and all the rest of the insensitive cretins who had ruined this night, but he knew that would be a really bad idea in his present emotional state. He wanted to scream. He wanted to throw things. He wanted to hit someone.

But, what Justin ended up doing was sketching. His art had always been his primary means of emotional release. And he needed that release now more than ever. So he sat down right there in the middle of the floor in the loft, pulled his sketch pad out of his bag along with a piece of charcoal and started drawing the beautiful image he still had in his head of Brian holding a sleeping Gus.

Justin hadn't a clue how long he was sitting there, drawing and stewing over everything that had happened that day. He lost all consciousness of his surroundings, carried away by the tender image that was appearing under his charcoal and his chaotic thoughts. He wasn't aware he'd been quietly crying until a warm throw was draped over his shoulders and he felt Brian sitting behind him, pulling his cold body back against the strong warm chest.

"You're going to ruin that drawing if you keep dripping all over it," Brian breathed into the soft hair at the nape of Justin's neck.

Justin looked down and saw where his tears had dribbled onto the corner of the picture and smudged part of the drawing. That was what finally broke him - seeing his perfect picture of the beautiful man holding his sweet little son marred by the wetness. That's when Justin turned his head into the comfort of Brian's chest and began to sob uncontrollably.

Considering that Brian had virtually no prior experience trying to comfort someone who was crying, he actually did a pretty decent job of consoling Justin. He managed the holding and lightly patting on the distraught man's shoulder. He made appropriate shhhhhing noises and occasionally said 'there, there'. These were truly all signs of huge emotional growth in the reserved man. But what Brian was NOT prepared for was how easy it was for Justin to segue from the standard 'it's okay' to the opening up of the floodgates allowing for all out emotional, soul-baring discussions.

"It's okay, Justin. Whatever it is, it will be okay". Brian opened that fateful door.

"It's NOT okay, Brian! It's completely fucked. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I'm going. I haven't got a clue what you plan to do and I'm scared shitless you're going to try to keep me away from our child. And I'm so tired, I can't keep this up but then again I can't leave you all alone with nobody to support you. The family is completely useless and I can't trust Michael not to get you into the kind of trouble that might be bad for the baby or for you. So, how can it possibly be okay? How?" The Justin floodgate of emotions was officially open.

Brian could duck and cover, he could flee from the scene screaming or he could try to delve his way through the morass, trying to sort things out logically as he went. Brian was a courageous man and gallantly went for option three, without really thinking it through. He was brave but just a tad bit foolhardy.

"Come on, Sunshine. It's not as bad as all that. Hey, I'm the one that just turned thirty. If I can survive that, topped off by a party given by my nearest and dearest friends who apparently hate me, you'll get through whatever's bothering you." Brian said, trying to approach things logically but with humor.

"What am I going to do if you try to keep me out of our baby's life? I couldn't bear to have it be like with you and Gus. You love him so much Brian but you hardly ever get to spend time with him. I don't want that for me or for our baby."

"Justin, I would never do that to you. I know you'll be a great father and I do want you to be part of the baby's life. We'll figure it out." Brian tried to console the worried youth but his words just brought on a fresh spate of tears.

"Yeah, right! You say that now, Brian, but how exactly is it going to work out? I don't know where I'll be living. I don't even know where you'll be living. You can't possibly stay here. The loft isn't exactly baby-proofed. But if you leave, how will I ever see the baby? Where will you go?"

"And what are you going to do once the baby's born? Are you going to be able to keep on working? How? Who will take care of the baby during the day. And how will you be able to work with a newborn keeping you up all night? And even if you put the baby in child care, you're going to have to cut back your hours because nobody's going to keep a newborn for 60-80 hours a week. Plus, kids that grow up their whole lives in daycare without enough parental attention have a lot of emotional and psychological problems."

"I could help you with the baby, if you let me. But I'd need to live somewhere close to you. What if I can't find someplace I can afford wherever you move. I could stay at Deb's, at least it's cheap, but it's getting harder to stay there and not kill them all especially after how they all acted tonight. But, I don't really make enough money to get a real place. Besides, I should probably save as much money as I can to pay for college next year, that is assuming its even going to be possible since my dad's refusing to pay for me to go to a fairy boy art school. Plus, if I do go to school, how am I going to be able to help you with the baby. And how am I going to get enough money to pay for school and an apartment and help with expenses for the baby. Fuck! There's no way I can do school. I'll have to get a full time job. But then I still won't be able to help you watch the baby, unless I work nights, maybe . . ."

Brian had tried to stop Justin's tirade several times without any success. The more the boy talked, his worries going around and around in circles, the more confused and worried Brian started to get too. Finally, using the most effective way he knew to silence the boy, Brian grabbed Justin by the shoulders, twisted his body around so he could see the tear stained face and kissed the babbling boy hard and deep until all his protests ceased.

When he thought Justin would finally stay quiet, Brian released his lips, but holding up one index finger to mark his place. "Justin, I need to ask you two things before we go on, okay." Justin nodded and sniffed. "First, do we have to have this conversation here on the hard ass floor? Wouldn't it be better to talk somewhere softer and warmer?" Justin nodded again but didn't start to move until he'd heard Brian's second question.

"Okay, good. Now, can we please just deal with only one of the fifty thousand odd things you just brought up in under ten seconds? I'm starting to get freaked out listening to you, and we obviously can only have one of us freaking at a time. I can handle dealing with just one thing tonight. Then we'll fuck and then we'll get some sleep because we're both exhausted. Then, maybe tomorrow, we can take on one or two other problems. How does that sound?"

"Good," Justin relented.

Brian unfolded himself gracefully and then pulled Justin up after him. The two men padded over to the big comfy bed that they'd spent so many hours in together over the past months. Brian pulled Justin's clothes off efficiently and then tossed aside the small blanket he'd had wrapped around them on the floor. Brian crawled under the covers and then held a corner of the duvet up for Justin. The tired young blond crawled in too and then scooted over until he was in his favorite spot with his head resting on Brian's shoulder, one arm reaching across the other's belly and their legs entwined.

"Okay, Justin," Brian kissed the top of the thatch of thick blond hair. What do you want to deal with first?"

There was just so much, so many uncertainties, it took Justin quite a while to figure out one single issue that they could start with. However, he settled at last on what, in his mind, was one of the biggest questions, "where are you and the baby going to live?"

"I've actually been thinking about this quite a bit," Brian stated with some confidence. "I think I'd like to find a house. Nothing all-hetero-heaven like what the munchers have but someplace big enough for a family and with a yard for the kid because . . . I don't really know anything but I thought . . . A kid might like a nice yard to play in."

"That sounds nice," Justin offered a little hesitantly. "Where is this house going to be?"

"I don't exactly know yet, but I'm not planning on leaving Pittsburgh," Brian assured the worried youth.

"That's good," Justin stated still unsure of so many variables though.

"And, Sunshine, I want the house to be big enough so you can have a studio there for your art. And maybe a nicer kitchen so you can cook. Maybe even a big jacuzzi tub in the master bath, too, since you seem like the type who'd like a long soak in a bubble bath . . . " Brian was watching the effect his words had on the boy with a small affectionate smile on his beautiful lips. "How does that sound to you? Did I miss anything? Hmm? Is there anything else you'd like in OUR house, Justin?"

"Our . . . Really? . . . OUR house? Are you serious Brian? Are you sure?" Justin was trembling with excitement at Brian's announcement, still not completely sure that Brian wasn't teasing.

"Shut up, twat. Of course I'm sure. I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't sure," Brian hugged the trembling youth with gusto to emphasize his words. "Besides, we couldn't have the kid growing up and eventually noticing that one of its fathers had to Break and Enter every time he came to visit! I have no idea how we'll work this, Sunshine, but I do want you there to be part of the baby's life. So, what do you say? You want to shack up with me, Sunshine? Since you've already knocked me up, it's the least you could do."

"Yes, yes, yes, Brian! Yes. I would love to shack up with you. Thank you. I know we can make this work. I'll get a job so I can help more with the expenses and . . . "

"Uh uh uh, Sunshine," Brian stopped this new pending rant before Justin could get started by clamping his hand over the boy's mouth. "Remember, I said we'd only deal with one thing tonight. Housing - that was your one thing. Now it's time to fuck. So no more talking unless it involves admiring my cock or begging me to fuck you harder. Got it?"

Justin nodded his head, the love and amusement clearly showing in his sparkling blue eyes, and Brian released his hold on the youth's mouth. As soon as Brian's hand was gone, Justin let out an infectious giggle and squirmed on top of his man, straddling Brian's hips. Brian let himself chuckle back at his beaming, enthusiastic Twinkie. The squirming little blond dynamo was eager to show Brian his gratitude and prove to the older man he wouldn't be sorry about the reversal of his decision to let Justin move in.

Beginning at the top, the Blond Dynamo rained down sloppy, wet, sucking kisses all over his subject. He kissed the feathery soft auburn hair, the broad, intelligent forehead, both prominently high cheekbones then moved briefly to the sweet tender ever-kissable cranberry lips. Without lingering, the Dynamo moved on, kissing, nibbling, licking at Brian's sensitive, long neck, down over the jutting collar bone and on to the strong, well-formed chest.

Dynamo Boy couldn't help lingering a bit at the tempting dark nipples, Brian's pecs so much fuller now, so lickable, sexier than ever before. Justin moaned at the tasty pleasure, causing Brian to grumble a bit, ordering the Dynamo to quit sucking his tits and get on with it. Justin grinned up at the pseudo-angry man, took one last, long swipe with the flat of his tongue across a hyper-sensitive nipple and set Brian to moaning and wiggling from the pleasure of it.

But the Dynamo Boy obediently moved on, decorating Brian's chest and belly with glistening curls of saliva as his tongue glided over the delicious, golden skin. Brian just tasted so good - Justin wondered briefly if it was possible that his skin was truly sweeter to the taste than before or if it was merely his imagination. He moved over to the cute little navel and buried his tongue in it, pressing his face down into Brian's still flat and taut stomach muscles. He couldn't wait till that belly started to plump up a little, giving some outward sign of the treasure hiding within.

Brian was now starting to squirm a little, protesting the DB's too slow progress. DB was happy to oblige his lover's wishes and immediately shifted his body lower so he could concentrate on the meat of the situation. But, first he buried his nose in the thatch of soft chestnut pubes at Brian's groin and inhaled deeply. Justin had been giggling to himself ever since Brian's comment about how tricks didn't smell right any more, but secretly he agreed with the sentiment. Nothing and no one smelled as good to him as Brian. That musky, sweaty, ripe maleness triggered something deep within him that screamed out a primal roar of 'MINE' every time he breathed in his man. It wasn't something conscious that he could ever control, it just was and he thought he never would be able to give it up.

While he was still reveling in the heady aroma, a warm, stiff presence made it's need for attention known by tapping at a blond cheek. The Dynamo turned his head to greet the insistent visitor and proceeded to kiss the plump plum-colored head of the magnificent cock he found waiting for him. Brian sighed as the DB turned his attention to this most needy appendage.

Justin got to work. He started by trailing light kisses all down the long solid shaft and then proceeded to lick his way back to the top. He nibbled a bit around the prominent ridge and then kissed and licked again at the top, exploring everywhere with his eager tongue. The gorgeous cock, enthusiastic to be again the deserving center of attention, twitched and leapt up to meet each long wet swipe of Justin's tongue.

However, the Dynamo Boy was interested in having more than just a passing acquaintance with Mr. Cock tonight. No mere blow job was going to cut it. The Dynamo wanted all of Mr. Cock inside him. He wanted to ride that cock long and hard and all night long, if it was possible. So, politely kissing the friendly little bugger, Justin moved away enough to grab the requisite supplies, dressed Mr. Cock in a fine latex suit, applied enough lube so he was all glistening prettily, and then the indefatigable Dynamo impaled himself on the glorious cock and rode and rode and rode, wildly and with great gusto, much to Brian and Mr. Cock's delight.

Everyone thereafter seemed to agree it had been a lovely way to seal the deal about their moving in together.