Chapter 34 - Now You See It, Now You Don't!

Brian put in some long hours over the next couple of weeks on the Calvin Klein ads. Part of his campaign strategy was to move away from the idea that you had to be a model to look great in designer clothes. This should work especially well with a brand like CK that already had a broader appeal and just needed to expand its market shares. So, he was on the look out for gorgeous, hunky looking men with average, ordinary jobs to use in his print campaigns. Brian happened to know a LOT of guys, so this wasn't too difficult a task for him.

By the end of the second week, Brian had assembled a hot looking group of pretty boys from all walks of life: Policemen, Firefighters, an auto mechanic, a construction worker, an ER nurse he remembered from Allegheny General, a personal trainer from Ript Gym, a couple of random businessmen and a few professionals, and even a college professor. They were a beautiful group of men but without that fake perfectionism that you get from a bunch of models.  

Justin had meanwhile been working on his first freelance assignment for Ryder's. It was some hokey little ad for shoes, and the assignment had come with detailed instructions that didn't leave him much room for artistic interpretation, so it didn't take too much of his time. When he wasn't doing that or working a shift at the Diner, Justin was busy helping Brian tweak the CK ads or sketching out ideas for B4.

The concept designs for B4 were pretty much complete. But, since this was going to be such an important deal, Brian wanted to go in with a complete layout that was, for the most part, print ready. He would need a few more weeks before he could get the photo shoots he needed. So, for now, they were just waiting.

Brian hated JUST waiting. Brian was on the exercise bike or lifting free weights or walking on the treadmill almost constantly these days, trying to burn off his nervous energy. That meant that Justin was working double time to keep him fed right. The prodigious quantities of food being consumed at the loft because of all this were astounding. To keep them supplied with healthier alternatives, Justin found himself begging lasagnes and casseroles from Debbie and groceries from his mother. He didn't want Brian to have to resort to unhealthy takeout or, heaven forbid, junk food, when and if the mood to eat struck. He'd actually caught the normally health-obsessed Brian eating a bag of those waxy chocolate covered donuts one afternoon when he got back to the loft late. Brian shrugged and merely said, 'the baby was hungry'.

To prevent further donut incidents, Justin cooked extra large meals and then deposited half into the freezer complete with easy to follow heating instructions on each package. He made sure there were always sandwich fixings and fresh bagels on hand as well as lots of fresh fruit. He'd even conspired with Cynthia to make sure that she kept Brian well supplied with an endless supply of healthy snacks at the office. It felt like their lives revolved around eating and food these days, but Justin did what had to be done to keep his man fed.

Whatever he was doing, it seemed to be working. Brian's cute little cantaloupe belly had progressed to more of a honeydew melon size. Without his shirt on, Brian's new physique made his condition obvious. But, Justin was constantly amazed at the miracles Stitch was able to work with Brian's shirts and jackets. Anyone who really knew Brian and looked at him carefully enough could probably tell that the man HAD put on weight, but, dressed to the nines in one of Stich's elegantly tailored Armani suits, even Justin couldn't see the tell-tale belly. And with all the weight lifting and exercising Brian had been doing, combined with the fact that he wasn't drinking, smoking, doing drugs or staying out till all hours, the handsome brunet had never looked sexier.

Which went partway towards explaining why, when he wasn't eating or exercising these days, Brian was pretty much constantly fending off Justin's amorous advances. Okay . . . So, he wasn't REALLY fending Justin off. He was loving it. And even, on occasion, tempting him on purpose. It seemed that every time Brian would take his shirt off and show his growing belly, Justin was overcome with sheer lust. Once he figured this out, it was just amazing how many excuses Brian came up with to walk around shirtless whenever Justin was around. Poor Justin could barely get anything done around the loft between his constant work at either feeding or fucking Brian. It was a very difficult time for the poor horny teenager.

Brian was . . . Conflicted.

On one hand, Brian had never felt so cared for in his entire life. As far back as he could remember, it had only just been him. Brian was the only person he knew that he could rely on. Parents, teachers, friends, lovers - up till now, none had ever been completely reliable. In his experience, no one but Brian could be counted on to take care of Brian. At least not all the time. Yes, he'd had weak moments when he had given in to the need to let another in briefly. But every single time he'd been somehow disappointed. Even those that professed to love him - maybe, especially, those who professed to love him - had let him down again and again. Brian had never, NEVER, trusted anyone completely

And now there was Justin. He was only a fucking kid - just eighteen, for fuck's sake. He was physically small and not that strong. But, Justin had changed his whole life to take care of Brian, to keep his confidences, and had refused to let Brian exclude him. Justin had been willing to give up his entire future for Brian. Justin cherished him, defended him, sheltered him both physically and emotionally in ways Brian had never expected to find. Justin didn't judge him or ask him to change. Justin kept Brian safe. Justin both said he loved Brian and showed his love every single day. Brian found that he actually, truly, trusted Justin.

Which should have made Brian ecstatically happy, right? Then why did Brian constantly find himself doubting it all. It felt wonderful to have Justin around, caring for him. So, why couldn't Brian ever stop the nagging doubts? Why couldn't he just accept this love without constantly questioning it? Why did Brian sometimes feel so trapped?

It was like his own body had betrayed him. Brian was trapped in this body that kept him here, virtually chained to Justin because the boy was the only one who knew the secret. Brian couldn't go out and trick, he couldn't disappear to the Baths for easy anonymous sex, he couldn't go to the gym anymore, he couldn't even trust his oldest and closest friends because he didn't think they would keep his secret.

Brian HAD to trust Justin. This teenaged blond twink was all he had right now. He didn't even have the small, grudging amount of respect he'd garnered by being The Stud of Liberty Avenue anymore. And, yes, he still went out to Woody's or Babylon every so often, but it wasn't the same. He couldn't just let it all go like he used to. He wasn't quite as free. And he vaguely resented it - and the baby and Justin and his whole stupid fucked up life and his traitorous body.

So, if Brian was using his only remaining addiction, the only pain management tool still left to him - Sex - a little bit heavily, who could blame him? Justin wasn't complaining. Even on days when the young artist seemed to be walking a little bowlegged and sitting down gingerly, he never complained. Every single time he saw his hunky Baby-Daddy strutting around showing off that sexy little baby bump, Justin was all over the man. And, if Justin was giving as well as he was getting these days, nobody else seemed to be complaining either. The sex was pretty much the only thing keeping their household, or at least Brian, together.

That's why it was so completely devastating to Brian the day he discovered he could no longer see his dick over his huge protruding belly.

Justin hadn't seen or heard Brian for what seemed like a long time. They'd finished dinner a while ago and Justin had been sitting on the couch just sketching. Brian had gone into the bedroom for something and that was the last time Justin had seen him. Justin had been distracted by his thoughts about where he wanted to fuck next, trying to think of at least one place in the loft where they hadn't done it yet. That's when it finally dawned on him that Brian had been gone too long.

"Brian? Where'd you go?" Justin called out from the couch.

There was no answer. Justin threw down his drawing pad and vaulted to his feet in an immediate panic. Something must be wrong. Why wasn't Brian answering? Where was he? It wasn't that far from the couch to the bedroom. Brian wasn't there. Justin slid open the bathroom door, his heart hammering wildly in his chest.

Only to find Brian standing there, straddling the toilet with his pants around his ankles and his head leaning against his arms which were crossed and propped against the wall behind the john. What Justin could see of the beautiful masculine face was drenched with tears. Brian's shoulders were heaving with giant, anguished sobs.

"Oh my god, Brian. What happened? What's wrong," Justin demanded, panic-stricken and already sure it had to be something absolutely horrible.

"I-I-I c-c-can't seeee it!" Brian sobbed out almost indescipherably.

"What? What is it, Brian? Is it the baby. Are you hurt?" Justin had assumed the worst. "Tell me, Brian."

Brian shook his head but didn't lift it from the cradle of his arms. He was now wailing so loudly that Justin couldn't make out the few words that the clearly inconsolable man was trying to gasp out. The smaller man reached up and tried to pry Brian's face from where it was muffled against an elbow, but Brian fought him. Justin didn't know what to do. He was terrified but he didn't know if he should try to get Brian to move or just leave him there and call for emergency services.

Not knowing what else to do, Justin reached over and gently raised up the long tails of Brian's shirt that were hanging down low enough to hide most of his ass as well as his stomach in front. Justin was sure he was going to see some horror - blood, something, he didn't know what. But he had to look.

He found . . . Nothing. Or at least nothing out of the ordinary. Just Brian, still standing there without pants. His lovely big round belly seemingly just as big and round as it had been before dinner. There was, thankfully, no blood. So. . . Why was Brian crying so miserably?

Justin rubbed the palm of his hand up and down Brian's back under the shirt, trying to calm him enough to figure out how to help him. It took a while, but after a minute or two, Brian finally lifted up his head enough that Justin could understand what the man was trying to say.

"I-I-I went to piss . . . *sob* . . . And I looked down . . . *sniffle* . . . And I couldn't see it . . . *whine*. . . And even . . . Even when I bend over . . . I can't see it. . . *wail* . . . Justin . . . *sob, sniffle, sigh* . . . I'm too f-f-fat to see my own Dick!" *Wail, wail, wail!*

And, with that, Brian turned and collapsed, wailing, into a dazed and pissed off Justin's arms. The angry little blond wanted to just drop him to the tile floor, but instead he restrained himself enough to carefully seat the big wailing baby on the toilet. Then Justin slapped Brian upside the head in an almost perfect imitation of Debbie Novotny.

"You ass!" Justin shouted at the sobbing pathetic heap of brunet cringing on the toilet. "I thought there was something really wrong. You had me scared shitless. I thought . . . I thought you'd lost the baby or something. You god damned, fucking, pompous, vain, annoying . . . jerk. You scared me to death just because you're getting fat? Aaaaarrrghhhh!"

Brian was so startled by this response that he stopped crying. He looked up at the fuming mad blond, completely perplexed. Justin was now pacing back and forth in the tiny space allowed by the small bathroom - which meant he could only take about a step and a half before he had to turn around. The pale alabaster skin was turned purple-red with utter rage. He was grumbling under his breath but all Brian could make out was the occasional 'pain-in-the-fucking-ass', 'ridiculous', 'demanding', 'selfish' and 'pathetic', all of which were being repeated often in various combinations and with varying levels of contempt. There were waves of angry heat wafting off the small blond body and Brian would not have been surprised to see actual steam coming out of the cute little shell-like ears.

Then Brian happened to turn to the side enough to get a glimpse of his own red, tear-stained countenance in the mirror. He looked down and saw his swollen belly hunched over his bare thighs and his pants still strangling his ankles. Fuck! Justin was right! He was pathetic and ridiculous. How the fuck did he end up like . . . Like THIS?

But, instead of pulling up more tears, the absolutely ludicrous situation seemed hilariously funny to Brian. Him bawling his eyes out because he was too pregnant to see his own dick, Justin so incensed and passionate that he was pacing in the fucking bathroom and Brian sitting there on the toilet in a mess of snot and tears without his pants on. He didn't think there'd ever been a MORE pathetic scene ever in the history of mankind. They were a fucking mess! THEY were going to be parents soon? Fuck! This just had to be a huge-assed cosmic joke!

Brian chuckled. His sad face cracked into a grin. He chortled. He even giggled. And, when Justin subsequently looked down on him with contempt at his inappropriate response, Brian laughed out loud. Justin looked even angrier for about two heartbeats and then the youth stopped pacing and smiled too. Brian cackled even louder and then actually doubled up laughing so hard he fell off the toilet. Justin had been trying to resist joining in on this inappropriate laughing, but when Brian sprawled on the tile floor, writhing in almost painful, breathless laughter, he couldn't help it.

"Fuck, Brian." Justin complained, then he sank down onto his haunches on the tile floor next to his whooping, snorting, convulsing partner.

When they both finally stopped laughing, they got up and went to bed, where they made love, inciting even more laughter since, even hard as a rock, Brian still couldn't see his own cock.