Chapter 46 - The Reaction.

"Wait! No, really, wait a second here," Michael physically blocked anyone who started to get up to go congratulate the boys, holding out his hands like a frantic traffic cop at a six-way intersection during rush hour in downtown Mexico City. "Just wait one fucking second. . . Wait. . . Wait, I . . . Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait . . . No fucking way, just wait a minute. . . Wait, wait, wait . . . . Wait . . . . . Wait . . . . . Wait . . . "

Justin watched in bemusement as Michael's head kept jerking back and forth, looking first at Brian and then back at all of the family who he was trying to keep at bay. With every utterance of the word 'wait' the dark brunet head would twist around faster and faster. Pretty soon, Justin could see creases forming along the lines of Michael's neck where the muscles were twisting as his head spun back and forth. Then the creases ruptured and blood started spurting out when, finally, with one excruciatingly loud 'WAIT', Michael's head spun around so rapidly that it popped right off his neck and his headless corpse collapsed onto Debbie's now-stained linoleum floor!

Or, at least, that's what Justin imagined happening as he watched Michael flailing around ineffectually as he tried to come to terms with Brian's big secret.

"Brian," Michael eventually managed a word other than 'wait'. "I don't know what to say. I mean, are you sure. Are you absolutely sure about this?"

"Um, yeah," Brian replied, lost as to where his friend thought he was going with this in light of the rather blatant evidence - Brian's belly - protruding right there in front of everyone.

"Michael, Sweetie," Debbie questioned her clearly delusional offspring. "What exactly do you think Brian's not sure about. I mean, if that's not pregnant, then I'm Mother Theresa and you're the product of immaculate conception, honey!"

"Ma! Just shut up a minute, will ya?" Michael rudely demanded of his mother, turning all his attention back on the focus of his concern. "I'm serious Brian. What if this is . . . something else? What if you're really sick or it's like cancer or something? Or maybe it's like some kind of infection that you need to have taken care of right away. This could be really bad, you know? It could be really serious. We need to get you to a doctor right away."

"Shut the fuck up and let go of me, Michael!" Brian shook the smaller man's hands off his arm where Michael had grappled onto him, intent on hustling Brian out the door and directly to the hospital. "You're being pathetic! Of course I've already been to the doctor. And of course I'm fucking pregnant, you idiot! It's a baby for fuck's sake, not some bacterial growth. What the hell are you thinking?"

"B-b-but, Brian," Michael refused to be shut up. "I don't understand. . . . How?"

"Sunshine? You're good with the science stuff," Brian turned to the man chortling away at his side. "Do you want to take this one?"

"Sure, Brian," Justin put a serious look on his countenance and then turned to the spluttering Michael. "You see, Michael, it's actually very complex and technically amazing. . . " Justin took a deep breath and then glanced around to make sure he had everyone's attention. "I fucked Brian, the condom broke and because Brian here is a genetic miracle, he got pregnant."

Justin's delivery was perfect and everyone in the room roared with laughter, except, of course, for Michael.

"But, Brian. . ." Michael still refused to see reality. "Brian, you never . . . You didn't . . . You wouldn't . . . "

"Fuck, yeah!" Brian said, nodding emphatically. "I sure as hell did. In fact, I would, and have, done it repeatedly. Little Sunshine here is one hell of a top, if I do say so myself. Of course, I taught him everything he knows."

The renewed bellows of laughter almost completely drowned out Michael's whining, "No. You never bottom. You told me you never bottom . . ."

"Michael, we already went over this part," Vic managed to say through his own laughter, draping one arm casually over his nephew's shoulders as if taking him into a confidence. "I thought that I explained all this when Deb and I first told you that you were gay. But, I guess I must have neglected part of your education somehow. You see, gay men generally LIKE to take it up the ass. That's kind of the whole point."

At this point, Emmett was literally screaming with laughter and you couldn't really hear any more of Michael's feeble objections. The defeated Michael sank down onto his knees as if he was going to begin praying for guidance from some unknown god of gay wisdom. The defeated look on the man's face inspired even more raucous laughter from Emmett, who ran out of breath halfway through an hysterical shriek, fell off his chair and incidentally dragged Ted down with him. The two writhing, laughing convulsing men rolling around on the floor elicited even more laughter from the crowd and then the whole thing got a bit silly after that.

Almost everyone in the room other than Michael had joined in laughing at the spectacle at some point - even Melanie was eventually induced to a chuckle or two at the bizarre things Michael was saying. The only person there who wasn't in the least bit amused was Lindsey. While everyone else, including her partner was taking the news pretty well and seemed heartily amused by the crazy situation, Lindsey sat silently frowning at everyone from her chair.

When enough of the ridiculous silliness had abated that she could get her opinion heard, Lindsey finally spoke up. "I'm so glad all of you find this so amusing. But, I don't. Really, Brian, what the hell are you thinking? I mean, YOU, of all people can't be thinking you're going to have a baby."

"We've just gone through all this already, Lindz. Were you not paying attention?" Brian tried to hold on to his temper as he again explained the facts. "I AM pregnant. This big bulge under my shirt is a baby - not a fungal growth or alien parasite or a honking huge tumor. It's a baby."

"I don't mean I don't believe you are pregnant, Brian," Lindsey plowed on all serious and concerned looking, with her most prim and respectable disapproving pucker on her pursed up lips. "What I mean is that I can't believe you are thinking about having a child. What do you plan to do when it's born? Have you thought about this at all? Obviously it's too late to terminate the pregnancy, so what exactly are you planning? Adoption? This is serious you guys. I really see no reason to be rolling on the floor laughing about what's likely to happen to this poor child."

Now it was Brian's turn to look confused and hurt. "It sounds to me, Lindsey, like you mean to question what right I have to keep my own child. Is that what you're asking? Because I never even once thought about terminating my pregnancy and there's no fucking way in hell I'm giving up my son for adoption."

"What I meant to say, Brian, was that you just aren't really what most people see when they think of a full-time parent. What about with Gus? Did you not say to me, multiple times, that you didn't want to be involved? That you only wanted to be the sperm donor with an occasional cameo appearance? I know you care for Gus, and, in your own way, you're a good father, but a big part of that is because you're not his full-time parent. With the kind of lifestyle you lead, Brian, I don't see how that would even be possible," Lindsey explained condescendingly.

"The kind of lifestyle I lead . . . Huh? And what the fuck do you even know about my lifestyle these days, Lindz?" Brian was irate and just barely keeping his temper in check. "For your information, I haven't done any drugs, drank alcohol or smoked a single cigarette since the day I found out I was pregnant. Justin here even weaned me off caffeine completely and makes sure I don't take anything stronger than Tylenol. And I haven't tricked at all since I got back the results from my first pregnancy STD screen, which was more than four months ago. I work, I come home, I sometimes go out with my friends or my partner and then I come home with my partner. What part of that lifestyle do you think is so unacceptable that I wouldn't be able to be just as good a parent as you or Mel? Hmmm? Tell me Lindz."

"We'll, I'm glad to hear that you're being responsible during your pregnancy. That's wonderful, Brian. But still, what do you plan to do after the baby's born. You're a single gay man. You work long hours at a highly stressful job and when you're not working you like to go out clubbing. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with any of that Brian. It's just who you've always been. Where does this baby fit in that life?"

"You're forgetting one important part, Lindsey," Justin stepped up and intervened in the argument. "Brian isn't just a single gay man planning on raising a child on his own. I'm the baby's father too and I'll be there helping to raise him."

"And frankly, Lindsey," Jennifer Taylor stood up and added her voice to the defence of her son and his partner. "I don't see that you have any say whatsoever in how these two decide to raise their child. I can't see you or Mel sitting back and letting anyone tell you how to live your lives or how to raise your child. So what right do you have to try and do the same to Justin or Brian? I'm sure they'll make the best decisions they can about how to raise their child, which is all any parent can say in the end. In the meantime, YOU have no right or basis to judge them. Oh, and don't forget that I'll be there to help them too."

"I'm NOT judging you, Brian, really," Lindsey tried again to get her point across. "It's just that I know you. You like being that heartless gay lothario who fucks hundreds of beautiful men without any regrets. I don't think you'll be happy giving that up for full-time parenthood."

"Uh, excuse me, Lindsey, honey, but I think your hypocrisy is showing," Emmett commented drolly.

"I think you're right, Em," Ted added, playing along. "And correct me if I'm wrong, Lindsey, but don't you have a LIBERAL Arts degree, not a conservative, prim and proper, broomstick stuck up your constipated ass degree."

"Now, now, Theodore," Vic interrupted. "I think you're being a little harsh. She's right, you know, we wouldn't want two GAY men raising a child together, now would we?"

"I'm sorry, Vic, you're right," Ted readily agreed. "I forgot. That's what we have lesbians for."

"That . . . And they're good with power tools," Emmett added helpfully with his big gap-toothed grin and his head tilted charmingly to one side.

"All right now. I think that's enough drama for now," Debbie loudly intervened. "What you're all forgetting, is that we're family here. We all help each other and support each other. Which means that Brian and Justin will always have any help they need. The same way you, Lindsey, and Mel have always been able to rely on us for help too. So, there'll be no more discussion about who's the better parent here. It doesn't matter because we're all family and we'll all help each other."

"Now, everybody get your asses back here and eat this fucking pasta that you've let get cold while you were arguing like a bunch of angry blue jays. I didn't spend all afternoon cooking so you could just stand around and admire the food from a distance. Michael, dear, get up off the floor and stop acting like a fucking five year old whose favorite toy just got broke. And you two," Deb indicated Brian and Justin, "get the hell over here and start eating. We've got an expectant Papa to feed up right!"

"Thanks a lot, Deb," Brian smiled, relieved that the argument was apparently over for the time being. "It's not bad enough that I've got Justin all over my ass about eating all the time, now I've got to fend you off, too?"

"I thought we just resolved all that, Brian," Em quipped, leaning over and draping his arms around Brian's shoulders once he was seated. "You LIKE having Justin all over your ass. Or was that UP your ass? Oops, my mistake!"

"Hands off, Honeycutt," Brian ordered, peeling the offending arms away from his neck. "Having Sunshine all over my ass is one thing, but you're not getting anywhere near me."

"Don't call me Honeycutt!" Em reiterated. "Can I still feel the baby kick, Brian?" Em said, pushing Ted out of the chair next to Brian and eagerly holding out his hands to rub the belly that started all this ruckus.

Almost everybody laughed and turned towards their somewhat cold meal.