Chapter Five - WTF?

Brian and Justin had to rush a bit to get out of the loft on time. Their shower escapades had run a little long, although nobody was complaining. It had been almost a week since Justin had felt that happy well-used throbbing in his ass, and he wished he had time to relish it. But he only had a few moments to wallow in his appreciation of the sensation. Then he had to root around in the back of Brian's closet for a minute until he found the spare school uniform he'd stashed there for just this type of emergency. By the time he was dressed and crawling around on hands and knees trying to locate his one missing shoe, Brian was fully attired in suit and tie, perfectly groomed as always, and already moving to strip last night's soiled sheets off the bed.

As he was pulling off the sheets, Brian superficially noted several small reddish-brown spots. 'What the hell,' he thought. Granted, Brian Kinney's preferred sexual practices weren't generally tidy affairs, and finding a mess on the sheets in the morning was par for the course, but there was something about this picture that seemed different. Brian didn't get a chance to worry about it too much, though, as he was immediately drafted to help with the search for Justin's missing shoe. He wadded the sheets up without further thought and tossed them in the hamper. As soon as the errant footgear was located, they were out the door, intent on getting a quick breakfast at the Diner to start the day off right.

"Morning Boys!" A cheerful Debbie greeted them before they even made it to a booth. "Just coffee? Or, have you got time for food, too?"

"Food, please, Deb! I'm starving," Justin decreed and placed his usual gargantuan breakfast order.  

"You want your usual, Brian, honey?" Deb asked perfunctorily, already starting to turn away from the table.

"Uh . . . No, Deb. Actually I'm pretty hungry this morning too. I'll . . . I'll have the 'number ten'," Brian said quietly, as if to avoid drawing attention to his unusual request.

"'Number ten', got it," Debbie noted on her order pad and then dropped both the pad and her pen. "What the fuck? YOU want the 'number ten'? The 'Butch Bottom Special', Brian? Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Deb demanded in her customary loud and nosy manner.

Brian tried to play it off in his normal disdainful and nonchalant way, but Justin could tell he was a little annoyed at Debbie for making it such a big deal. "I'm hungry," Brian explain with an unconcerned shrug. "I barely ate any dinner last night and Sunshine's been keeping me busy, so, if I want a larger breakfast, what's the big deal. I AM entitled to change my order occasionally, aren't I?"

"Keep your knickers on, kiddo," Debbie relented, adding the 'number ten' to the order. "'Double BS' for the hungry Stud, Marco," Deb yelled out to the cook as she posted the order on the spinning clipboard, effectively announcing Brian's breakfast order to the entire Diner.

Brian tried to look cool and ignore the whispers and looks directed at him after Deb's announcement. Justin looked down at his napkin, not wanting to catch Brian's eye or let on in any way that he was amused by the situation. It just wouldn't do to let Brian know he found it adorable when the Big Stud was forced to admit to his humanity - apparently, even Brian Kinney got hungry sometimes.

Debbie came back a minute later juggling two coffee cups, a glass of guava juice and the carafe of hot coffee.

"Hey, Deb," Brian added as he watched the drinks being distributed. "Add an order of hash browns to that, would ya. They were really good the other day . . ."

"Whatever you say, Hungry Man," Deb kidded as she headed back to the kitchen to change their order.

Before Justin could think up some safe topic of conversation - one that wouldn't cause the grumbling, hungry beast sitting across the table from him to tear off his head - the bell over the front door rang out announcing the arrival of three more customers. Hewey, Dewey & Louis, aka Michael, Emmett and Ted, waltzed in like they owned the place, as usual. Michael's 'Brian Alert' radar was functioning within acceptable parameters, which meant that he saw Brian at the very instant he passed through the doorway and he was immediately drawn towards the booth where his Best Friend sat waiting for his breakfast.

Michael slid in next to Brian, as was his god-given right as the Best Friend, leaving Ted and Emmett to squish in next to Justin. The young artist watched quietly from his corner of the booth. Since none of the three newcomers were aware of Brian's already ugly mood, it was highly likely that at least one of them would inadvertently say or do something to set off the ticking Brian-time-bomb in mere seconds after their arrival. Justin was prepared to be amused by the impending spectacle and was even kind of hoping it would be Michael who got today's royal tongue-lashing.

Unfortunately, Justin's entertainment never happened. The young man watched in amazement and confusion as the grouchy beast that had been Brian changed in a heartbeat into Little Mary Sunshine. Brian welcomed his friends, greeting them all with cheery little hellos and a huge, very un-Brian-like grin. Everyone was happy and cheerful and complimenting each other and Brian didn't even say one snarky or demeaning thing, even to Ted. Justin was starting to get worried.

"Well, well, Mr. Kinney," drawled Emmett as soon as he could get a word in edgewise. "You seem to be in a very good mood this morning. We were all worried after you got sick last night that you'd be a real bear to deal with this morning."

"Bite your tongue, Emmy Lou! I'll never be a BEAR!" Brian teased, smiling at his nelly friend and not even remembering to call him 'Honeycutt'. "Actually, I feel great this morning," Brian continued. "Whatever that was last night must be out of my system because I woke up this morning with tons of energy and feeling better than I have in ages. If I didn't have to get the young 'un here off to his place of higher education, I might have even been tempted to go out for an early morning run. But, no worries, Justin here helped me get my morning exercise in other, far more pleasurable, ways."

Brian laughed at his own innuendo and gave Justin a sweet little smile. Now it wasn't only Justin that was concerned - the whole table sat and stared at the pod person that had taken over Brian's body. Brian was never - NEVER - cheerful at breakfast. In fact, most days, he usually wouldn't even speak to his friends until after his third cup of coffee. Even Michael, who determinedly overlooked all of Brian's faults including his bad temper in the mornings, knew that something was very wrong here.

Nobody had time to voice their concerns though, before Debbie interrupted with a tray-full of food. Resting the tray on the edge of the table, the long-time waitress deftly unloaded plate after plate of food, more than half of which she set in front of a beaming Brian. The man was already stuffing a slice of bacon in his mouth before Deb was even finished serving all the food.

"Oh, thank you, Deb," Brian voiced his deep appreciation. "Fuck, I'm hungry. Hey, could you bring over the syrup and some butter."

Nobody else at the table said anything. They all just watched in slack-jawed amazement as Brian Kinney tucked into his plate of hash browns with utter abandon. He was halfway through the hash browns, a piece of greasy bacon clutched in one hand and his fork in the other, before he even stopped to take a breath. He was so focused on his food that he didn't notice that no one had moved, Debbie hadn't said anything in more than sixty seconds and Justin hadn't even bothered to start eating yet.  Brian didn't even notice how quiet it had gotten until he'd slurped up two 'sunny side up' eggs and was halfway though the stack of pancakes he'd drenched with butter and syrup.

"What the fuck?" he groused angrily, finally putting down his fork as soon as he realized they were all staring at him. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing, Brian. No problem here!" Ted insisted holding up both hands as if to ward off his friend's imminent anger.

"You sure you're feeling okay, Brian?" Michael asked with true concern. "You know, David thought you really should have gone to the hospital last night. I mean . . . Are you sure you're okay?"

"I told you, I'm fine. I feel great and I definitely don't need to go to the hospital just because of a bad case of indigestion," Brian maintained. "Now, Mikey, leave me alone and go get a hobby other than annoying me."

Brian tried to go back to his plate of sausages, which he uncharacteristically swiped through the puddle of syrup from the pancakes before eating, but when they all just continued to stare, he gave up.

"You done, Sunshine?" Brian asked the boy who had quickly turned to his own meal, shoving as much down as he could before Brian pulled him away. "Let's get going. Mother Taylor will probably bite my head off if I don't get you to school on time." He picked up the forgotten glass of guava juice while he gave Justin a minute, and took a large swallow, then spit most of it back all over the floor beside the booth. "Fuck! This juice has gone bad, Deb. It tastes like shit. What are you trying to do, poison me at two meals in a row! Damn, I got some on my fucking tie."

Brian's return to his more customary snarky morning persona was reassuring to everyone. Deb finally walked away to go check on the suspect juice, the three stooges got up so Brian and Justin could leave and normal levels of conversation restarted all around them. Brian sent a glare around the entire room before taking out his wallet and dropping enough cash to cover the meal on the table. Justin inhaled two more bites of his eggs and then trotted after Brian's retreating back.

As soon as the door closed behind the two men, Emmett leaned in towards his two co-conspirators and, after making sure he had everyone's attention, broadcast his theory.

"Okay, who remembers that scene from 'Alien' where the guy wakes up after having this pod thingy sucking his face for like days, and then he starts eating like crazy, totally famished, until . . . (he paused for the full dramatic effect) . . . All of a sudden the alien tears its way out of his chest with blood and guts flying everywhere . . ."

The entire Diner erupts with laughter.

From behind the counter, Debbie holds up the plastic guava juice bottle. "It's a brand new fucking bottle. I just opened it this morning. It tastes fine to me."

Nobody really paid Debbie any mind.