Chapter 59 - Hormones, The Revival!

On Wednesday morning Emmett showed up with an armful of packages gaudily wrapped in chocolate brown wrapping paper decorated with olive green polka dots and gauzy green ribbons. He delightedly skipped over and plopped the stack of gift boxes down in front of Brian. Brian was eyeing them warily, apparently unsure whether or not they might contain pregnant-man-eating carnivorous plants or some other equally dangerous creature.

"Since you refused to let me throw you a baby shower, Brian, I forced everyone in the gang to chip in and we got you these. It's more of a Prego Stud Shower present. Go on. Open it. I swear it doesn't bite," Emmett urged the reluctant man to open his gifts.

"If this is full of orange pleather baby clothes, I'm warning you, Honeycutt, you better start running now because I don't care how pregnant I am, I'll catch you and strangle you." Brian warned good naturedly as he grabbed the top present and carefully started removing the paper

Tied together with one green ribbon were three small 5x7-sized packages. Brian was one of those annoying types who refused to just tear the wrapping paper off the boxes. Instead he tediously unwrapped each box, trying to keep the paper intact as much as possible, and then folded the used paper neatly before even looking at the presents inside. Thankfully, Em had come earlier than usual, or Justin would have been late to school after waiting for Brian to unwrap everything.

When he finally finished with the first set of packages, Brian found he was now the proud owner of the first three 'Pirates of the Carribean' movies.

"See, now you've got at least six hours of Johnny Depp ogling to keep you busy while you're forced to stay in bed, Brian," Em announced enthusiastically, explaining that everyone agreed the fourth movie wasn't worth watching, even for Johnny Depp.

Brian thanked Emmett, even though he wasn't sure he could spend that many hours watching goofy pirate-ness. Next, Em directed Brian to open the biggest box and, to save time, gave the other small present - another set of three small DVD-sized boxes tied together - to Justin to open. Justin had his three gifts unwrapped before Brian had even untied the ribbon on his package, but that was okay because he'd already guessed what was in the big box after seeing what he'd uncovered. He set the items he had aside where Brian couldn't get a good look at them and waited impatiently with Em while Brian finished opening the biggest present.

Inside the wrapping of the large present, Brian discovered a brand new Xbox Game System, complete with extra wireless controllers and two wireless headsets. Justin handed over the items he'd unwrapped which turned out to be three video games - Lego Pirates of the Carribean, Lego Batman and Lego Indiana Jones.

"Knowing you, Brian, we figured you probably had already bought all the baby stuff you'd need. So, instead, we got you stuff you'd never buy for yourself to keep you entertained while you're on best rest and for your recovery time afterwards," Emmett explained while Justin excitedly looked over the game system and Brian nodded grudging approval as he scanned the backs of the games' boxes to see what they entailed.

"This is awesome, Em," Justin seemed thrilled by the gifts, which had been part of the idea behind the presents. "I can't wait to challenge Brian here to a couple of games. I'll have to pick up a copy of 'Tomb Raider' later. It used to be my favorite," Justin informed them as he rushed to gather his books and art supplies together to go out and jump in the car with Cynthia. "But for now, I've got to run or I'll be late. Be good, Brian. No more vacuum 'cleaning' - remember, you promised. Later!"

Em followed the young artist towards the door, asking about the vacuum cleaning comment as Justin hurried out. Justin explained about catching Brian in his late night cleaning frenzy. Justin warned Emmett to keep an eye on the sneaky compulsive nester.

"Why do you think I got him the movies and the Xbox, Honey?" Em laughed. "There's no WAY I was going to go through another day like yesterday, Baby. That man almost ran me ragged. Hopefully I can get him so caught up in one of those games he won't have time to force me to clean anything else until after baby Kevan gets here!"

Justin was still chuckling over his friend's brilliant strategy when he got out of the car at PIFA fifteen minutes later.

Emmett was able to distract Brian from his cleaning frenzy, but only until early afternoon. That's when a UPS delivery arrived with the first of the organizational aides Brian had ordered online the day before. Unfortunately, neither the movies nor the games were enough to keep Brian's attention once his new gadgets had arrived.

Poor Em was forced to completely reorganize two cupboards and three drawers that he'd just organized completely the day before, now with the added fun of fitting everything into the organizer products that Brian had purchased, which of course didn't fit exactly as Brian had planned and required further adjustments. The new organizers also inspired a host of ideas for further organizational upgrades, and set Brian off on a new spate of online purchases. Before this baby arrived, Britin's Chapel was likely to be the most organized home on the planet, if Brian had any say in it.

When Justin arrived home from classes that afternoon, Emmett was up to his bobby socks in piles of baby onesies that he was refolding and rolling up for the third time, at Brian's direction, so they could be properly arranged in the drawer inserts Brian had obtained to go in the drawers of the dresser in the nursery.

"The games didn't work?" Justin asked with a barely concealed grin as he came into the room.

"No," Emmett replied curtly. "And now, he's all yours, Baby. Enjoy!"

Emmett dumped a pile of baby clothes into Justin's arms and then practically ran out of the house, fleeing from a tyrannical and obsessive Brian.

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Wednesday night was a repeat of the night before. Brian insisted that he couldn't sleep - he had to get up to pee every fifteen minutes and he just couldn't get his brain to turn off in between the frequent trips to the john. This time, though, Justin woke up and stopped him before he could disassemble any more of their appliances in his cleaning craziness.

Justin insisted that, since they were already awake, Brian should eat something rather than clean. He refused to assist Brian in his cleaning schemes until the Prego had at least eaten a snack. Brian caved easily - he knew Justin's 'stubborn' face and also knew he wouldn't get the blond to budge until he complied. As soon as his tummy was full, though, Brian got sleepy and Justin was able to persuade him to head back to bed. And, in spite of the fact that Brian still got up three more times in the night to pee, Justin managed to keep his man in the bedroom until morning.

The next time Justin woke up to find Brian missing, he found his man standing naked in front of the bathroom mirror instead of cleaning.

"Is it possible to become less pregnant than I was yesterday, Sunshine," Brian asked with concern as he stared at himself and rubbed at his belly.

"I don't think so, Brian. I'm pretty sure, at this point, the only way you can get 'less pregnant' is by having the baby and I can clearly see he's still in here," Justin reassured his partner, standing behind Brian and patting at the large bump.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that yesterday this," Brian rubbed his distended belly again, "was bigger. I mean, yesterday morning I could I hardly tell where the top of my stomach started and where my tits ended. I felt like I was about to explode. Now, there's a definite space between the two. And, I can actually breathe better today."

"Sorry, Brian, but as far as I can see, you're no less pregnant than you were yesterday," Justin advised, raising up to his tip toes to leave a kiss on Brian's stubbly cheek. "The baby probably just shifted into a different position where he's not pressing against your lungs as much anymore. Which has to be a good thing, right?"

"I guess . . . It's just weird. Which is saying a lot considering how completely bizarre this whole experience has been from the start, you know," Brian finally gave up trying to figure out the subtle changes in his figure and moved towards the shower.

Justin joined him as Brian turned on the hot water. They both started into their regular shower routine, helping each other clean those hard to reach spots, all the while exchanging tender kisses and gentle caresses. Everything seemed just like normal, at least at first.

"Unnmmmmh," Brian groaned a few minutes later right as Justin was soaping his partner's back. Justin could actually see the muscles around Brian's middle contracting this time. Brian leaned his head against the glass wall of the shower and tried to concentrate on breathing through the contraction as Justin coached him. Since this set of contractions hadn't been preceded by dangerously acrobatic sex acts, Justin handled the situation much better than he had a few nights before. Justin didn't panic at all and at least partially redeemed himself for the 'Desi Arnez' incident.

Slowly the contractions eased and Justin felt Brian's muscles relax. He massaged at Brian's back and shoulders until he felt Brian was completely calm again and his breathing evened out. When Justin was sure that the contraction was an isolated incident, he turned Brian around, rinsed off the remaining soap suds and then hustled the now worn out man back to bed.

"Brian, you've GOT to take it easier. You're worrying me. All this night time cleaning and roaming around the house is tiring you out," Justin calmly and gently admonished his partner, who didn't look at all contrite for some reason. "You used to only get these Braxton-Hicks contractions when you were tired at the END of the day. Now you're getting them first thing in the morning? I think you're trying to do too much. Maybe I should stay home today so I can keep an eye on you . . . ?"

"Bullshit!" Brian insisted immediately, completely losing his cool in an epically proportioned full-on hormone-driven queen-out, the likes of which hadn't been seen within a hundred miles of Pittsburgh in several decades. "You're NOT missing school to stay home and babysit me. I thought we already HAD this discussion, Justin. I'm fine. I've been having these stupid Braxton-Hickey things for a few weeks now. They're no big deal."

"And I'm sorry that I can't sleep at night. YOU try sleeping through the fucking night with a bowling ball pressing down on your bladder all the time and someone kicking the shit out of your ribs from the inside. I'm the one who's got to fucking deal with all this crap all the time, not YOU. So just lay the fuck off, okay. I'm the one stuck here all day, every fucking day for, it seems like, forever. If I want to get out of bed once a day, it's really not that big a deal! I'm the one going stark raving shit crazy with boredom! Just get the fuck off my back already!"

Brian finished his rant with a dramatic fist waving in the air as he stomped angrily out of the bathroom with his towel dropping off his hips just as he cleared the doorway. His cute little naked butt flashed cheekily at Justin as he walked away, kind of ruining the angst of the whole scene. Justin barely managed to hold back a chuckle. He knew it would only add fire to the raving, unfairly accused, completely innocent victim, who was intent on proving his point. When he heard his adamant, clearly irreproachable partner stomping off down the hall, Justin cautiously emerged from the bathroom. Making sure Brian had truly left the vicinity before he ventured forth, Justin finally came out, got dressed and tentatively followed the raving lunatic who was his baby-daddy into the main part of the house.

Justin found a naked, sobbing, tear-drenched Brian sitting at the kitchen counter on one of the bar stools, crying into a bowl of Cheerios.

"Brian? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Justin hesitantly dared to ask the weeping mass of Prego Stud he found.

"Nooooooo! I'm not OKAY! Do I LOOK okay to you?" Brian demanded, his mood shifting almost instantly from weepy to angry without any warning, and then flipping back to sad again in a heartbeat. "I'm fucking crying into my breakfast cereal. What the hell is wrong with me?"

Brian pushed the cereal bowl away from him violently, causing the milk and cereal to spill out onto the counter and most of the floor as the bowl spun off into a corner. His hands went up to cover his eyes as his shoulders caved in and his whole body shook with racking sobs. Justin stood for a few moments in shock, unable to decide what exactly to do with this madman that he didn't even recognize as his cool, always collected and competent partner.

Finally, Justin shook himself out of his lethargy and gingerly approached the stranger that was crying in his kitchen. Justin carefully patted at the sobbing man's shoulder, clearly unsure if he should intervene or maybe just run away screaming. Brian almost immediately turned his body and halfway threw himself off the tall stool into Justin's unprepared arms. Brian grabbed at Justin's forearms as if he was afraid he'd drown without the support.

"What's happening to me, Justin?" Brian wailed as he clung to his confused blond.

Justin was asking himself the same question right then, so he didn't have any answer for his crying partner. All he could think to do at the moment was hold Brian in his arms, rocking him gently back and forth and crooning soothing nothings. "It's okay, Brian. You're going to be okay. I'm here . . ." Justin kept whispering, along with other sweet, consolatory nonsense.

And then, thankfully, the front doorbell rang and Justin had a good excuse to retreat from his suddenly insane partner so he could go answer the door.

It was Emmett. Justin had completely lost track of time while dealing with the crazy emotional upheaval in his kitchen. He breathed a huge sigh of guilty relief as soon as he realized that this meant he could escape the pregnant lunatic asylum for a little while and venture out into the world with other sane people. Justin almost laughed in gratitude to Em for giving him the opportunity to escape. He briefly contemplated going back to console Brian further, like a good partner and soon-to-be-father should. But a quick glance down at the snot stained shoulder of his tee shirt quickly dissuaded him from that idea. Cowardice was truly the better part of valor - at least when it came to an illogical, emotionally unstable, pregnant partner.

"Hi, Em," Justin greeted his friend with as much fake cheerfulness as he could so as not to tip off his relief to the virtual maelstrom he was voluntarily entering. "I've got to run today. Can't stay and chat. See you later. Call or text if there's problems. Bye!" Justin yelled over his shoulder as he scooped up his school things and practically ran out the door, not waiting for any goodbye, and pulling the door closed behind him as rapidly as he could.

"Bye, Baby," Emmett belatedly waved to the already closed door.

An unsuspecting Em turned around and found himself staring at a glowering, completely nude pregnant man who was waiting for him with feet set widely and arms crossed in anger in the middle of the living room floor.

Emmett immediately suspected that this wasn't going to be a good day.

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When a repentant and conscience stricken Justin finally re-entered the house later in the afternoon, he was greeted by an unhappy Emmett. There was no sign of Brian in the Greatroom area. He couldn't hear any yelling or screaming, though, so Justin thought it was probably safe to come all the way inside.

"Hey, Em. How'd it go today?" Justin asked, trying to sound nonchalant. "Where's Brian?"

"His Prego Majesty is having a 'Time-Out'," Emmett informed Justin humorlessly. "I sent him to his room after the third temper tantrum of the day. I swear to god, Justin, I'm NOT reorganizing another cabinet or drawer in this house. If Mr. OCD Kinney doesn't like it, he can get some other lackey to follow his every order tomorrow! Fucking Prima-Donna! I'm through!"

Emmett picked up his sparkly, gold lame shoulder bag and strode angrily out the door without further comment.

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