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BEFORE I LET GO: CHAPTER 5

ALEX:

 

I arrive at Liberty Diner, thoroughly pissed off! How dare she? How fucking dare she?! I swear between her and her son, neither should ever have become a zygote in their mother’s wombs. This definitely proves that traits such as temperament are indeed hereditary. I take a seat at the back booth, waiting for my turn to speak with the bane of my existence. What’s worse is that I didn’t even hear of the issue from my clients, but from Cynthia, who was on the verge of needing a psych eval due to being arrested for murder. I told her that the temporary insanity plea might have worked had Jennifer Taylor not been within Brian’s office. I really can’t wait to get Brian and Justin away from here for their sake...and my own.

 

“What can I get ya?”

 

I look up to see where the harsh voice originated from. I already feel the curl of my lip at her appearance, but I smooth my face over into a mask of indifference. Brian Kinney may have mastered the look, but like Justin, I was born into it. The WASP nest had many uses; this is clearly one of them. “Deb, I would like to speak with you. Please have a seat.”

 

“Only for a moment. My feet are already killing me and my shift just started.”

 

“I imagine they would be with your run all over town this morning.” I cut right into it. If she’s looking for sympathy, she’ll get none from me. From what I’ve seen over the years, she and her manipulative offspring get off on it. “Why exactly did you feel the need to go into Kinnetik? Brian’s personal business is just that...his.”

 

“Bullshit! We’re family. That means that if one has a problem we all have them. Besides, I didn’t like the way he was treating my son!”

 

“Oh, but by what you just said, you’re all family.” I couldn’t stop the sneer that time and I wasn’t going to try. “If that is the case, has it occurred to you that your son might be the one causing his own issues?”

 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

 

“It means that before you run around town, offering unsolicited opinions, and trying to fix your son’s continuous fuck-ups, you should at least ask questions and get the facts, not hurl accusations.”

 

“So because Brian ran to you, now you think you have all the answers? Boy, did he snow you.”

 

I take a calming breath before I imagine being co-defendants with Cynthia. “For the record, Brian didn’t call me about your behavior, someone else did. Deb, I know that you love Michael for whatever reason you do, beyond giving birth to him. But let’s face it… he’s sabotaging his relationship with Ben and in the process trying to dismember those of his friends.”

 

“Like hell he is! Michael loves Ben!”

 

“Michael loves himself! And if you would open your eyes and stop allowing him to use the same guilt you apply to everyone else on you, maybe you would see just how immature, selfish, deceitful, and manipulative he is. But that’s your choice. I’m here for one reason and one reason only, and that’s to tell you to stay away from Brian and Justin. They have enough to deal with between their businesses and each other, that they don’t need the bullshit you and your son bring into their lives.”

 

“What? What is happening with them? I have a right to know!”

 

“No, you don’t! That’s what you and Michael can’t seem to get through your heads. They are not your business. If they want to involve you, fine, since then it’s their choice. But I happen to know that they don’t. So mind your own life before you lose your new husband while you’re preoccupied with everyone else.”

 

Before she could spew a retort back at me, she’s interrupted by a quiet voice to her left. “He’s right, Deb.” Carl tells her. “I don’t know how many times I have told you this, but now I’m just about ready to walk. I married you for better or worse, it’s true. But I did not sign on as a lapdog or doormat. Michael, Michael, Michael is all I ever hear. It’s like you are still nursing a thirty-five year old man and can’t seem to stop. It’s time to let him grow up and live in his own reality, not the one you’re trying to make for him.”

 

“So you would leave me?”

 

“Is that all you heard of what I said? Deb, I want you. I love being married to you. But I don’t love being married to Michael’s mother. You remember when we started dating? How unhappy he was then?”

 

“Yes. But he’s grown out of that childish jealousy; he’s come around.”

 

“Is that what you think? Well let me tell you, he hasn’t. Whenever you are not in earshot, he feels the need to instruct me that I will not do A, B, C, D, and E. Or my favorite lately has been when he tells me that it’s only a matter of time until you see that I was a mistake.”

 

“No! That’s not true and you know it!”

 

“Don’t I? Besides, what do I have to gain by lying to you? I never have before, unless it’s by omission, and I won’t start now by commission. And I’m not the only one he speaks his brand of shit to. Blake and Justin have been taking it for a long time. I suspect that although he never says it directly to Drew because he’d get the shit beat out of him, he’s at least thought it or said it in within the safety of his own home. It’s time you realize that the ‘lovely boy’ you want to believe you raised, is a myth of your own overactive imagination. Michael is mean, spiteful, selfish, arrogant, and a chronic nuisance to my sanity. It’s okay that you love him; I would never deny you that. But stop living his life and covering his mistakes for him. You owe it to yourself- to me as your husband- to put us and our relationship first. Michael has no place in it! So if you want to be married to your son, I’ll politely step aside and allow that. But what I will not do is remain a bed-warmer with no say in how I want my marriage with you to be. The choice is yours.”

 

I choose that moment to get up from the table. “Well Deb, I guess you can’t deny what you’ve heard with your own ears, coming from the man you supposedly love.”

 

“I do love Carl,” she says tearfully while turning to him. “I do, you know.”

 

“I know you do Red.” He answers, holding her close.

 

“Then I guess you know what you need to do Deb, and that’s put Carl first, for a change. Michael is a grown man. It’s time for you to let him be one.”

 

“But I’ve always…”

 

“Protected him? Sheltered him? Lived for him? Yes, you’ve done all those things and more. But it’s been at the expense of yourself and the others you call family. Don’t you think it’s time that you start living for yourself? Shouldn’t you now be providing your husband with mental and emotional shelter, protecting him, and living for him, the way Carl does for you?”

 

She nods at me while staring up at him. “I’ll do better.”

 

“That’s all I can ask, Red. And I’ll pull your coattail every time I see you about to misstep. I want the rest of our lives to be happy and safe. Both of us have been alone too long; we’ve searched too long for each other, even if we didn’t know we were looking. It’s time to enjoy what we’ve found, okay?”

 

She smiles. “Okay.”

 

She no longer looks as haggard as when I’d first saw her a short while ago. I don’t know why, but I have the feeling that she didn’t only see Brian this morning. “Deb, is there anything else I should know about what happened?”

 

“Other than Jennifer telling me off this morning, and finding out that Ben didn’t go home last night… nothing. Michael was really upset about it though.”

 

Somehow I doubt that, but I didn’t say that to her. “Have you seen Ben?”

 

“No. I went by his office but he wasn’t in there. I would imagine that he was teaching a class. I left a message with his receptionist for him to call me when he’s done.”

 

“I wouldn’t be expecting that call, Deb.”

 

“And why the fuck not?!” She gets indignant again before taking a calming breath. “Another thing that’s not my business, right?”

 

“That’s correct, Deb. But for better or worse, Ben and Michael will work it out.”

 

“I hope so. Michael doesn’t think they will though. He was so distraught when I saw him this morning. He said something about an island…”

 

I know she’s fishing for information, but I’ll at least tell her this much. “Yes. Michael and Ben will be going to an island to work out their issues in relative privacy. They can’t do that here since both of them are so well known.” I won’t tell her that the other couples are also going or that it’s mainly because of her that they need to. She’s been given enough of a verbal lashing for one day, I think.

 

“Well hopefully they will work it out. They fought so hard to be together.”

 

 

Again, I clamp down on my inclination to tell her that it’s because of her that they did. If there was one thing I was learning about Michael Novotny-Bruckner other than that he invents these dramas, it’s that he also does things for shock value. “Well given the time, I think they will come to the right conclusion for themselves and each other,” I say diplomatically before taking my leave.

 

Chapter End Notes:

 

 

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