Chapter 21 - Reluctant Roles.

‘Why was it that all the big people things in his life seemed so tense all the time?’ Kevan wondered . . . or at least that was the equivalent of what his baby mind was thinking. He didn’t actually know what the term ‘tense’ meant yet. But that didn’t mean that he couldn’t feel that the Yellow One - The Papa - wasn’t his usual relaxed and happy self tonight.

The Papa was all stiff feeling. He was holding Kevan a little bit too tightly. And The Papa’s voice wasn’t all soft and happy sounding. The noises he was making were shorter and clipped and harsh and not really happy but it was a not-happy that was trying to hide underneath the usual happyish noises. Kevan could feel each time The Papa made his mouth-sounds to The Nice Smelling One that there was something not happy there. Something that was unsettling to Kevan, who liked his People Things to be happy so that they would be completely focused on the important things in life - namely HIM! And that didn’t seem to be happening right now.

It was all very confusing for Kevan’s four-month old brain.

The Daddy was also exhibiting some very Non-Kevan-Approved tenseness. The Daddy’s mouth sounds were small and tried to hide behind a fake funny-ness - and they definitely didn’t sound the way The Daddy usually talked. These mouth-sounds were not happy. They didn’t make Kevan feel safe and warm the way he usually felt whenever The Nice Smelling One was home. The Daddy seemed like he was almost afraid of The Papa’s mouth sounds only The Daddy was trying not to show it.

And neither one was paying any real attention to Kevan.

Overall, it was a total relief when the happy, silly ‘Curly One’ showed up and took over. At least she wasn’t all tense and unhappy. And she paid lots of attention to Kevan. It was one of the first times that Kevan remembered being glad when The Daddy and The Papa left the house.

Kevan and the Curly One would be shiny happy people and to doo-doo with The Daddy and The Papa if they couldn’t get with the program!

“Okay . . . I said ‘okay’ already . . . yeah, yeah, I heard you . . . Enough! I said I’d be there, so back off already!” Brian growled, tapped the icon on his phone to end the call and then angrily tossed his phone onto the nearby sofa.

“Lindsey or Michael?” Justin asked, coming into the Greatroom with Kevan propped up on one hip and his messenger bag full of schoolwork in his other hand. “Wait. Don’t tell me. Let me guess . . . Based on your level of pissed-offedness, I’d say . . . Lindsey. Am I right?”

“Ding, ding, ding! You win, Sunshine,” Brian confirmed that Justin’s guess was right on the money. “She’s been relentless ever since I missed dinner last week. I finally had to give in to save my sanity.” Brian looked up at Justin guiltily from under his long dark-auburn lashes. “I told her I’d come over for dinner tonight . . .”

“Brian . . . I thought we were finally going to get a night out by ourselves,” Justin heard himself whining but couldn’t help it. He was so disappointed. “I got Daphne to babysit and I even made reservations at a restaurant that isn’t the Diner for once. Can’t you do dinner with the Merciless Munchers another night. Please?”

“I know we had plans, Sunshine, but I’ve already put Lindsey off several times and she was getting pretty nasty. I just couldn’t take her implied digs about me ‘abandoning’ Gus anymore,” Brian did look truly repentant, but Justin was too crestfallen to even look him in the eye - instead, the disgruntled blond flopped down on the couch and proceeded to pout. “Listen, Justin. I know this is last minute and that it puts a bit of a crimp in our plans, but it doesn’t have to ruin the entire night. I figure I’ll go to dinner at Muncherville and get that over with so that Lindz will back off for a while. Then, after dinner, I could go meet Mikey and the crew at Woody’s for a few quick drinks and get him off my case too. And then, as long as Daphne doesn’t mind staying the night, you and I could still meet up at Babylon later, dance the night away and maybe end up at the loft for a night of peaceful, child-free, rampant sex . . . What do you say, Sunshine? That way I can kill three birds with one stone in one night.”

“Well, I’m not sure I want to be one of the ‘birds’ you feel it’s necessary to kill off . . . But, I guess that would be acceptable. And it will get Mikey and Lindz off our backs for at least a few days - I hope,” Justin didn’t sound very enthusiastic about Brian’s brilliant plan, but Brian didn’t think he had any other options.

Keeping all the various factions in Brian’s life satisfied wasn’t easy these days - they seemed to all want a piece of him and there weren’t that many pieces to go around. Brian sometimes felt that he was being pulled in so many different directions he was about to come apart at the seams. There were so many different roles he was expected to fulfill these days: father, partner, best friend, stud, celebrity. If only his friends could agree on which role he was supposed to be playing at any one time. Unfortunately, they all seemed to want something different from him. Which is why he felt like he was constantly changing masks - slipping in and out of whatever personality his audience wanted at that particular time. It was tough trying to keep up with all of them, but what other choice did he have? Brian didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

So, tonight, he would have to juggle his friends and his various performances. First, he’d be the loving friend and confidante that Lindsey expected while at the same time demonstrating just enough fatherly attention towards Gus to keep Lindz happy without making Mel jealous. Then, he’d switch hats, put on his carefree gay lothario costume and go regale Mikey and the boys with enough tales of his reckless youth to keep their hero worship fueled for a few more weeks. And finally, he’d meet up with his romantic little twink, seduce the pants off the boy and carry out his duties as a caring and devoted partner. And he’d do all of this within the span of just a few hours in order to keep all his fans happy because that’s what they all expected him to do.

In other words, it was going to be a hectic night.

“Thanks, Sunshine,” Brian leaned over and kissed both his boys. “If I leave right now, I’ll have time to get in a decent workout at the gym before heading to Lindsey’s. I’ll see you at Babylon around 11:00, Sunshine. And I’ll see you, Sonnyboy, tomorrow morning. Be a good boy for Auntie Daffy.”

And then Brian was off without even a goodbye, leaving his boys still blinking on the couch.

Brian stumbled down the walk from Lindsey & Mel’s house, got into his jeep and let his head slump back against the headrest. Dinner at Chez Munchez had been painful and long and emotionally draining. And that was only the first third of his evening. He still had to get through the gauntlet of Mikey and the gang at Woody's. But after the dinner from hell he didn’t know if he had the energy.

Lindsey had seemed so glad to see him when he first arrived. She’d ushered him in and solicitously offered him a beer - which Brian turned down, reminding her about the whole nursing thing - before explaining that Mel had ended up working late, which was fine with Brian. He actually started to relax, thinking that with Mel out of the picture the evening might not be so unpleasant after all. Lindsey carried on, gushing over him the way she usually did - all smiles and compliments. Only, her compliments, more often than not, ended up being subtle jabs at what she saw as Brian’s failings as a friend and a father. She couldn’t just say, “Gus is excited to see you”. She had to add, “It’s been so long since you’ve spent any time with him that I’m not sure he still remembers who you are,” laughing as she said it but still implying that he’d left it for far too long. It sometimes felt like nothing Brian did would ever be good enough. He would never live up to her standards as a father to Gus or as a friend to her. It made him wonder why he was even trying.

As the night progressed, Lindsey moved on from criticising Brian to taking jabs at the rest of his little family. Every single time Brian even mentioned Kevan’s name, Lindsey had deflected his words, pointing out something that Gus had done that was somehow better or brighter or smarter than anything Kevan would ever be capable of. Gus had mastered rolling over weeks earlier than Kevan. Gus had slept through the night by three months and Kevan was still getting them up for at least one nighttime feeding. Gus had been able to sit up for a few minutes at a time by the time he was barely five months old and Kevan didn’t seem even close. She had even intimated that maybe Kevan had some kind of learning disability, since he seemed so far behind the amazing Wunderkind Gus. Of course, all these observations had come with seemingly well-intentioned advice on what Brian should be doing to help poor dim-witted Kevan catch up.

Lindsey had then moved on to critiquing Justin’s parenting skills. She’d started off by intimating that maybe Kevan’s ‘slowness’ had something to do with Justin’s home studio area and that the paint fumes from his work were negatively affecting the baby. Brian quickly nixed that idea, explaining about the top of the line ventilation they’d installed up in the choir loft where Justin’s studio space was located and reminding her that she often painted in the house around Gus too.

A little later, Lindsey made yet another comment about Justin’s insistence that they not start Kevan on solids until after he was six months old, explaining to Brian just why she thought that was silly and suggesting that’s why the baby wasn’t sleeping well. Lindsey had apparently started Gus on solids as soon as the pediatrician gave them the ok and she insisted that it had been the primary reason why Gus had slept through the night so early. She didn’t fail to add that moving to solids would alleviate Brian’s issues with pumping - not that he needed Lindsey to point that out to him or interfere in the decision making process over this issue. Brian and Justin had already had numerous discussions on this particular issue. Justin had been pretty persuasive about why he wanted to wait before moving to formula or solids and had shown Brian the medical and behavioral research that backed him up. Even assuming he bought into her anecdotal evidence, Lindsey’s boasting about Gus and her pompous attitude made Brian even less inclined to follow her advice, even if it would get him out of pumping earlier.

As soon as Brian had gotten Lindsey off the solid foods rant, she once again started nagging him about how little time Brian seemed to have these days. She wondered why Justin didn’t want to stay home and take care of the baby so that Brian could get out once in awhile, but then in the next breath mentioned that Justin really should be contributing more towards all the expenses of the new baby. This led to Lindsey asking if Brian thought that Gus needed some nicer clothes, because she didn’t want him to look like all of his clothes were bought at the Big Q when Kevan was wearing designer clothes. When Brian proposed that he and Justin would make sure to get Gus some new things next time the boy came over for a visit, Lindsey changed the subject.

A little later, when Brian tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of Gus coming over for a visit, and maybe a trip for both boys to the zoo, Lindsay said that was a great idea. She almost immediately volunteered to go with them, until Brian added that Justin was the one who’d suggested the zoo idea and he would be going too. Then, all of a sudden, Lindsey changed her mind, saying that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to take Kevan since he was still so little and it would be more fun if it was just her, Brian and Gus, adding in the subtle dig that this would be a good opportunity to make up all the time he’d missed with Gus since the new baby arrived. Which, of course, led back to the topic of Justin needing to stay home with Kevan so Brian had more free time. The whole conversation felt like a vicious circle to Brian and he was itching to get out of there long before dinner was over.

And, as if all this harping over dinner hadn’t been enough, Lindsey made a point of pulling Brian over to the couch after dinner to have a ‘serious’ discussion with him. She apparently felt it necessary to reemphasize how concerned she was that Gus might be jealous of Kevan when he grew up because Brian spent so little time with Gus and so much with Kevan. She reiterated - for the hundredth time that evening - that Gus really needed a more stable fatherly influence in his life. Of course, being Lindsey, she had lots of suggestions on how Brian should remedy this problem including the repeated entreaty that he plan on spending more time with her and Gus without Justin or Kevan. She also added that, since Kevan had another father, Brian could afford to spend more time with Gus. Lindsey seemed to think that Brian was somehow being unfair and that by not spending time with his first son he was favoring the second son, all the while leaving out any discussion of the fact that Gus already had two full-time parents of his own.

To round out the evening nicely, Lindsey let her WASPish side show full-on by throwing in a plea for money. Brian had expected this, of course, because when had Lindsey not brought money into the equation any time Brian’s parenting of Gus was discussed. So, when Lindz segued from the topic of not favoring one child over the other into her concerns about how she always wanted her child to have all the best opportunities life had to offer and that it bothered her that these things were so expensive, Brian knew what was coming next. By the time Lindz finally got around to mentioning the new Montessori pre-school that was opening down the street, Brian was already reaching into his pocket for his checkbook. Brian was so eager to escape by that point that he considered the $5,000 he’d had to shell out a bargain. It was simply the cost of doing business - er, raising a child - with Lindsey Peterson. And it DID shut her up finally.

In the end, Brian was just glad to get out of there. He was worried that dealing with Mikey would be almost as stressful. But at least Woody’s would have copious amounts of alcohol to make the trials of dealing with the rest of his friends slightly less painful.

A chorus of ‘Brian!’ greeted him as soon as he stepped through the doors of Woody’s.

“What the hell?” Brian groused, trying to keep in character even though he was warmed by the show of friendship. “This isn’t ‘Cheers’ and I’m not Norm Peterson. You don’t have to all greet me in unison whenever I come into the fucking bar.”

“But, Honey, we just LOVE having you here. Your sunny disposition always brightens up the place, you know,” Emmett teased with good-natured sarcasm. “Now, just plant that gorgeous tushy right here, Mr. Kinney, and start spreading all that joy that seems to just follow you around everywhere you go.”

“Fuck you, Honeycutt.” Brian responded, right on cue.

“Don’t call me Honeycutt!” Emmett replied, following his script just as assiduously.

“What took you so long, Brian? You were supposed to be here a half hour ago,” Mikey nagged, his voice edged with a nasal whine that just screamed ‘jealous wife’.

“Don’t tell us . . . Something ‘came up’, right?” Ted supplied the standard answer before Brian could even open his mouth. “The only real question is was he blond, brunet or a redhead and how big was his dick?”

“Oh? What’s the matter, Theodore? Are you running out of material to jack off to? Is that why you’re hitting me up for the details of my sex life - because you’ll never have one of your own?” Brian snarked right back, earning himself a wry grin from Ted and a few giggles from the peanut gallery.

“Shit, Brian! I thought you were supposed to be going to Mel & Lindz’ for dinner? Only you could manage to pick up a trick when you’re out to dinner with a pair of bona fide dykes and your kid!” Mikey enthused, his voice betraying his pride in his friend’s amatory accomplishment even though the words themselves sounded reproachful.

“What can I say, Mikey? Sometimes it’s like I have to beat them off with a stick,” Brian quipped, playing along with the ruse.

“As opposed to the rest of us who have to just beat ourselves off,” Ted’s self-deprecating comment closing out that round of banter.

The advent of the waiter bringing over another round of drinks forestalled Brian having to make any further contributions to the inane conversation for at least a few minutes. The gang had moved on to discussing which recently outed celebrity they’d fuck and why - typical Saturday night fare for this group. The exasperated brunet sipped at his light beer slowly and let the usual chit chat whirl around him. He was having trouble getting into the spirit of the familiar joking exchange of gossip and teasing, though. For some reason, tonight it all seemed entirely pointless. It was essentially the same conversation he and the gang had every single time they got together. It was like a perfectly choreographed routine and none of them ever ventured out of their assigned role or forgot their lines. Except that Brian no longer felt like playing that role anymore.

Brian felt totally out of sync with the other three sitting around the small bar table. He didn’t know why but he just felt so out of place. Which was strange really. It wasn’t that long ago that Brian had spent pretty much every single night either here at Woody’s or out at a club with these guys. They used to spend hours doing this very thing - sitting around drinking, gossiping, joking with each other and generally acting like juvenile boys. Now it just seemed so incredibly tedious. Had he really enjoyed listening to this drivel every single day?

Thinking back, Brian realized that whenever he’d become bored with the gang’s banality in the past, his response had been to look around the bar, pick out the most likely trick and use that as an excuse to distance himself from the mind-numbing inanity. Hmmmm. Well, that had worked pretty well for him before - maybe it would work again tonight? He’d do anything to relieve this nagging boredom.

Brian quickly scanned the possibilities in his immediate vicinity without any real fervor. There were a couple of guys that seemed vaguely interesting, but nobody that really turned his crank. The fleeting image of a slight, alabaster-skinned blond with a more-than-proportionally-sized dick and an almost endless sex drive flittered through his mind briefly, but Brian carefully avoided examining that thought too closely. He was out at a bar on a Saturday night and for once he didn’t have an overly solicitous blond dogging his steps - he really shouldn’t waste this opportunity, right? He was still Brian Kinney, Stud of Liberty Avenue. What was he waiting for? He’d been constrained by circumstances to just one man for so long now that he’d almost forgotten what it was like to pick up a trick. It really was past time for him to get back into the swing of things. There was nothing holding him back anymore. He figured he owed it to himself to go for it. He deserved this. Right?

Zeroing in on a likely target - a tall, dark-haired muscle queen with big brown eyes and a sizeable bulge in his jeans - Brian slammed back the rest of his beer, clanked the empty bottle back onto the table and rose to his feet.

“Be back in a minute, boys. There’s somebody I’ve got to do,” Brian announced with all the bravado he could summon up from his studly past as he strutted off towards his intended prey.

“Mmmmmm! La Kinney’s Next looks like a very yummy morsel,” Emmett burbled as soon as the trio located the man that Brian appeared to be heading towards.

“Looks like our Studly Leader is back and as bad as ever,” Ted pronounced with an appreciative nod at Brian’s retreating form. “And he appears to have reverted to type too - looks like short, cute and blond is out and tall, dark and dangerous is back in style again.”

“It’s about fucking time,” Michael trumpeted gleefully. “It’s good to see Brian acting like Brian again. I was beginning to think that Boy Wonder had him totally dick whipped.”

Brian, who couldn’t help but hear all of these comments, wasn’t sure if he should be pissed off at the way his friends were talking about him or gratified that they still all looked up to him the way they did. On the one hand, he hated hearing Michael talking about Justin that way, implying that Justin somehow controlled him. But, on the other hand, Brian was too happy to hear the approving tones of Michael’s comments to really make a fuss over the content of the statements. It had been a long time since he’d felt that sense of validation from his long-time friend.

Before he had time to think the matter through any further, Brian came up to the group of guys huddled at the end of the bar that contained his target trick and he gratefully shoved the introspection to the back of his mind. It was time to get his mojo back. Time to treat himself to a trick. Time to recover his Stud status.

“You! Let’s go!” Brian grunted, barely even slowing down as he strutted past the big musclebound beefcake, and just assuming that the guy would follow - they always had before and Brian wasn’t about to let on that he was even the slightest bit nervous that this time it wouldn’t work.

Luckily, the bravado paid off and the prey followed Brian as expected, practically tripping over his heels with eagerness all the way to the john. Brian didn’t smile - that wouldn’t fit with the aloof personae he was going for - but he was actually relieved that this had worked and glad to see he hadn’t lost his pull. He didn’t stop until he came to the big handicapped stall at the end of the row of toilets, knocking open the door with his shoulder and manhandling the trick inside without any discussion at all. In fact, everything was going swimmingly until the trick, who’d obediently dropped to his knees as he worked at the buttons of Brian’s fly, glanced up and finally got a good look at the stud hovering above him.

“Oh my word! You’re that pregnant guy, aren’t you! Brian Kinney! Wow! I can’t believe I got to meet you! You’re so amazing!” The trick climbed back to his feet so that he could fawn over Brian more closely. “You HAVE to tell me - what’s it like to be pregnant? I mean, it’s got to be just amazing! Having a baby - another life - inside you! That’s got to be just amazing, right? And little Kevan - he’s such a doll - I’ve got a picture of the two of you as the wallpaper on my computer at work. You looked just SOOOOO amazing in that GQ spread!”

“Yeah, it was amazing,” Brian replied dryly, wiping at a tiny spot of spittle that the guy had sprayed on his shoulder along with his boundless enthusiasm. “Now, why don’t you get back on your knees and show me how amazing you can be while you blow me, buddy.” Brian used both hands on the trick’s shoulders and pressed down more forcefully than he normally would, hoping to get this proceeding back on the right track. “I didn’t pull your ass in here to listen to you babbling. I’d rather get sucked off than be sucked up to, so get to work.”

“Of course, Brian! Anything for YOU!” The trick instantly fell to his knees and addressed himself to the remaining buttons on Brian’s jeans, but continued to chatter all the while. “I can’t believe I’m going to get to suck Brian Kinney’s cock! This is like a dream of mine! I can’t wait to tell everyone in the chat group! They’ll never believe me! Before I go, could I maybe a get a picture of the two of us together. OOoooooo - maybe with your cock in the pic too, so I can prove that I sucked you off! My buddy, Matt, is going to just kick himself for staying home tonight!”

By this point in the proceedings, the Trying Trick had Brian’s fly open and his pants down below his balls. He’d also unbuttoned Brian’s shirt, allowing his hands to roam freely all over Brian’s belly and up to his chest. Brian was trying to ignore the inane blabbing and just concentrate on the feeling of Trying’s tongue lapping at his balls, his pubes and then his belly. He kind of wished the guy would just shut the fuck up and get on with it. Unfortunately, TT seemed to be too busy rubbing himself all over Brian and muttering crazy shit to actually get around to the sucking part.

“I love your belly, Brian. I wish I could have felt it when you were pregnant . . . Mmmm, you taste so good . . .” As the rubbing and licking and mumbling went on the sentiments seemed to get even more wild, the words disjointed and only a phrase here and there was understandable. “I want to touch ALL of you . . . Tongue bath . . . Lick the sweat from your armpits . . . Drink your bathwater . . .” Brian tried, at this point, to dislodge TT’s hand from where it was seemingly latched onto his tit, massaging at the slightly swollen pec almost painfully while he continued to salivate all over Brian’s belly. “. . . Big blue dildo and naming it Brian . . . Be your sex slave . . .  Love that you smell like sweat and sex and milk . . .”

“What the fuck?” Brian interrupted the desperate drivel, disgusted by the suggestion that he might smell like milk, and tried to push the TT away from him but the man now had one arm wrapped around Brian’s waist and had established a death grip so that he wouldn’t be disturbed in his attempt to lick every inch of Brian’s stomach. “Hey! Buddy! My cock is about four inches to the left of where you’re licking. What the fuck are you doing down there?”

“I love your stretch marks, Brian. Shit, they are so hot!” TT responded as he again licked at one of the stretch marks on Brian’s abdomen - one of the one’s that Justin had repeatedly assured him barely showed at all and therefore he’d been ignoring. “Can I please suck on your tits, Brian. Please? I just want to taste you one time,” TT pleaded as he licked his way up Brian’s torso even as the annoyed brunet was trying to fight the guy off. “Please, Brian! Don’t go! Please!”

Brian shoved with all his might and finally managed to dislodge Trying Trick’s grip. He quickly pulled up his pants, fumbling a bit with his fly but getting enough buttons refastened to ensure the pants would stay up and then struggled past the TT and out the door of the toilet stall. The TT followed, shuffling after Brian while still on his knees.

“Don’t go, Brian! Please! I just want to show you how amazing I think you are! I’m sure I can do anything that little blond can do for you! I could be the father of your next baby. Please, stay with me, Brian! I would even have YOUR baby, Brian! I’d do ANYTHING for you, Brian! ANYTHING! BRIAN!”

Brian practically ran out of the john, barrelling his way past the gallery of onlookers that were now congregated around the doorway, laughing and pointing at the TT who was on his knees in the middle of the bathroom floor, his hands clasped together, pleading for a retreating Brian Kinney to return so he could prove his unending devotion.

“Brian? Where are you going, Brian?” Michael called as his best friend flew past the table on his way to the exit. “Brian, come back! You haven’t finished your drink.”

All Brian could think of was that Justin was supposed to meet him at Babylon. He just had to get to Babylon. He had to get to Justin. Justin, who was the only person left who didn’t completely make him insane.

Justin was barely through the door at Babylon before Brian swooped down on him.

“Thank fuck you’re finally here, Justin!” Brian exclaimed loudly enough that even the blaring club music seemed quiet by comparison.

“Not that I don’t appreciate being missed, Brian, but what brought this on?” Justin asked, trying not to trip as Brian literally towed him through the crowd to a quieter spot at the far end of the bar.

“These people are fucking crazy, Sunshine,” Brian half explained, pulling Justin’s body around almost as if it was a shield that could protect him from the insanity of the general public.

“People are crazy . . . Well, I won’t argue about that. But are we talking about any specific people, Bri? Or were you just making a general comment on the nature of humankind as a whole?” Justin responded laughingly, adding a kiss to his partner’s frowning lips so that there wasn’t any sting to his words.

“Ha, fucking, ha, Sunshine!” Brian sniped back, feeling better already and not really minding that his blond was teasing him just so long as he kept the crazies away. “Just keep the fucking nutbars away from me, will you? These so called ‘fans’ are fucking annoying.”

“Oh. Poor Baby!” Justin couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of Brian trying to hide out from his many fans. “I thought you liked being the center of attention, Brian?”

“Yeah, well, I can live without the ones on their knees begging to suck my tits because they think I smell like fucking breast milk and offering to father my next baby, Sunshine,” Brian retorted, knowing that the image of some rabid fan pleading to suck any part of his partner would be all that was needed to get Justin to see his point.

“Seriously? Fuckers!” Justin spat, immediately looking around him to make sure none of the tit-sucking, boyfriend-fucking, fans were anywhere near his man.

“Exactly.” Brian agreed, but feeling better already just knowing that Justin was standing next to him. “Now, come on, Sunshine. I’ll let you buy me a drink, then we can dance and you can try and make me forget the horror of it all.”

Brian waved to the bartender, who obligingly brought over two bottles of water. And Brian was just starting to cool off - both physically and mentally - when he caught a glimpse of the rest of the Liberty Avenue Gang sidling through the crowds towards their end of the bar. Brian sighed deeply and tried to prepare himself for the onslaught he already knew was coming.

“Brian! There you are. What the fuck happened back there? Why’d you leave us and just run out of Woody’s like that? Don’t you and Boy Wonder get enough of each other at home? You didn’t have to take off and leave the rest of us like that, Brian,” Michael’s nasal whine easily cut through the thumpa thumpa drone.

“Woody’s just wasn’t doing it for me tonight, Mikey,” Brian answered, trying half-heartedly to joke about the experience in order to hopefully throw his persistent friend off the subject.

“You know, the way you ran out of there, we all thought that trick must have bit it off or something! You should have seen your face, Brian! Was the guy THAT terrible? He looked pretty hot, but I’ve never seen Brian Kinney running away from a blowjob before. Hah!” Michael, unfortunately, wasn’t the least bit deterred and didn’t let his utter lack of tact stop him from saying whatever was on his mind no matter what the unintended consequences.

Brian knew that Michael’s comments weren’t going to go down well with his Sunshine even before he dared to look over at the blond who was standing next to him. Fucking Mikey and his ‘speak first, think never’ attitude. Was he completely clueless or intentionally trying to fuck up Brian’s life? It was one thing for Brian to decide it was time to go back to tricking, but a whole different can of worms to rub it into Justin’s face like that. He hadn’t exactly thought this through, but he didn’t think that THIS was the way he would have chosen to bring up the subject with the prickly young blond.

Brian took a deep breath before turning to confront what he suspected would be an already seething partner. “Sunshine . . .” Brian hesitated, not really knowing what he could possibly say right at that moment that might help. He wasn’t about to apologize - Brian Kinney didn’t do apologies, especially not for something like tricking. He’d never promised Justin that he wouldn’t trick so, in his mind at least, there was really nothing to apologize for anyway. All that being said, though, he realized it probably was something they should have discussed beforehand. And it was also an issue that would definitely be complicated by Michael’s unwitting and unplanned disclosure at this very inauspicious moment. Still, Brian wasn’t a coward and knew that he would have to deal with the fallout now that the matter HAD been raised.

So, with resignation, he looked up into the icy-blue, accusing eyes, steeling himself to engage in the necessary damage control.

“Hey, Brian! I’m so glad to see you. You really have perfect timing - this is my favorite song! Wanna dance?” An ardent voice coming from an unseen speaker standing somewhat behind Justin’s left shoulder interrupted the pending confrontation, making Brian wonder whether he should be thankful or scream with frustration.

“Oh good. Just what we needed - another fawning fan. I hope this one knows enough to cover his teeth when he’s blowing you. Have fun, Brian. I’m going home.” Justin growled, his voice just loud enough that only Brian could hear him.

“Sunshine . . . Stop!” Brian ordered, and reached out to grab ahold of Justin’s arm right as the younger man spun around, clearly intending to head towards the closest exit.

Which was when both of them finally got a good look at the young man who had broken into their conversation and was still waiting expectantly for Brian. Distracted as they were with their own argument, it took them both a few moments to place the face. However, as soon as they did, it set off alarm bells in both of their minds.

The beaming, worshipful face looking adoringly up at Brian was the same as the one that had been repeatedly pasted over Justin’s in picture after picture in the photo album delivered to Britin’s Chapel the week before.

“Fuck! We’re leaving, Brian! NOW!” Justin announced, grabbing hold of Brian’s hand and yanking the stunned man after him through the crowded bar, not slowing down for anything and unceremoniously shoving everyone out of their path until they were both standing outside on the sidewalk in front of the club.

Brian was too confused by the series of events that had unfolded over the course of this one night to protest much no matter how much Justin was manhandling him down the sidewalk and into the car. He couldn’t remember a night where he’d felt so universally rejected. He’d set out to placate all the various factions in his life - being a confidante to Linds, a good father to Gus, a hero to Mikey, the legendary Stud to the fags of the Avenue and a partner to his Sunshine - but somehow seemed to have failed everybody. He’d set out to kill three birds with one stone, but the stone seemed to have ricocheted back and taken him out instead.

As Justin bundled a still reeling Brian into the passenger seat of the jeep the words of some old adage about throwing stones and glass houses were niggling at the back of his consciousness . . . So much for trying to please all of the people in his life. Maybe he should just stay home tomorrow? But what would that really solve? Brian just hoped that Justin would continue to be there to handle the fallout whenever he did decide what role he really wanted to play.