Chapter 38 - It’s Not Easy Being Green.

Kevan wasn’t sure about the mushy stuff that was the same color green as the walls of his favorite room. It looked nice. The green color was pretty. But what the doo doo was Kevan supposed to do with the stuff?

The Papa held up the strange looking thing with silver on one end and purple on the other. Kevan thought it looked interesting enough and figured he would put it in his mouth because sometimes you needed to do that to help you figure out what new things were. He was still new at this figuring out things stuff so he liked to use all his senses. You couldn’t just look at something. That didn’t really tell you the whole story, especially about new things. You had to touch them, and smell them and listen to them and taste them. That was the only way you could really get to know a new thing and figure it out all the way.

So Kevan was all for putting the silver and purple thing in his mouth. But then The Papa went and stuck the new thing in the green stuff. That was quite a strange combination, Kevan thought. He would have preferred to get to know each thing separately first before mixing them all up like that, but what the hey! He was a daring baby and he could live outside his diaper a little for a change, right?

So Kevan let The Papa put the combo of the silver and purple thing covered in green goop into his mouth . . .

But Kevan was not at all sure he liked the combination. The green stuff tasted way TOO green. It was so green that it was overloading his senses. It overwhelmed the silver and purple. In fact, Kevan couldn’t really get a read on the silver and purple at all. This was just too much.

Kevan spit out the green stuff right away.

The Papa and The Daddy then had a long discussion using very concerned mouth sounds and looking at the green stuff at length. The Daddy seemed to not like the green very much at all. That gave Kevan a bit of a pause, because if The Daddy didn’t like the green, maybe Kevan shouldn’t like the green either. Hmmmm.

After a few minutes, though, Kevan decided that he’d figured out the green stuff. It wasn’t really meant to go in his mouth at all. No wonder he hadn’t liked the taste much. The green stuff wasn’t a mouth thing. It was a hand thing. It was a TOY! Yeah, that’s what it must be. See? When you played with the green with your hands it was tons of fun. Look! You could make the green fly through the air and go all over. This was great! Even The Daddy had some green on him now. What fun!

Kevan decided to like the green as long as it didn’t have to go in his mouth any more.

“Shit, Justin! What the fuck are you making in here?” Brian complained as he made his way into the kitchen early on Wednesday morning and noticed the stench of something unmentionable wafting from the direction of his son’s high chair. “Whatever it is smells worse than the Liberty Baths after a busy Saturday night in August. Please don’t tell me that you expect me to eat after smelling that?”

“No. You don’t have to eat anything. That’s Kevan’s job,” Justin responded, trying to sound positive. “But, I’m beginning to think your son’s as picky of an eater as you are. Come on, Kevan. Try a spoonful of these yummy mushed peas for Papa. Please, Kevan.”

“Sunshine, not only does it smell like a moldy jock strap, but it’s mushy and green. Nobody would eat that shit!” Brian commented, looking over Justin’s shoulder at the bowl full of goop that his partner was trying to shove into Kevan’s tightly clamped little mouth.

“Baby food is supposed to be mushy and green. Or at least the mashed peas are supposed to be green,” Justin defended his concoction. “I made it myself. Dr. Dahl gave me the link to this site that has all sorts of homemade babyfood recipes. It’s completely organic and really, really healthy. So stop encouraging your son’s poor behavior and come help me get him to eat this shit.”

“I’m not getting near anything that green, Sunshine. And I’m not going to encourage my son to eat it either. It totally reeks. I don’t think you followed the recipe right or something. Seriously, Justin, it’s just foul.” Brian backed away as far as the coffee maker and started to pour himself a cup into his travel mug. “Besides, I don’t have time to fuck around with mashed up mold. I’m supposed to be back at work this morning and I don’t want that shit on my clothes.”

“That’s a good boy, Kevan. Yeah! See. It’s yummy, right?” Justin crooned as he finally managed to spoon a large dollop into the baby’s mouth . . . only to groan when the baby immediately spit the whole thing out. “Ohhhhhh! Kevan! You can’t keep spitting it all out. Yuck!”

“Ewwww! It looks even worse coming back out,” Brian winced, covering his mouth and nose with his hand to try and keep the odor of the gunk out. “Look, Sonny Boy, I wouldn’t eat that crap either, but you let your Papa put it in there so let me just give you an important life lesson - If you’re going to put something in your mouth, you have to swallow all of it. Don’t spit. Nobody likes a spitter, trust me.”

“Great advice, Brian. Let’s hope he remembers that when he’s old enough to learn how to give head. But, in the meantime, you’re really not helping much.” Justin stuck his tongue out at the cowering brunet who acted like a little mashed peas would kill him.

Unfortunately, while Justin had his back turned mocking Brian, Kevan had discovered that the icky baby food was just fine for using as finger paints. He’d already smacked his hand down on the green puddle on the high chair’s tray and was now splashing his hands in the mess, making it fly everywhere. Including a large glob that landed right on Justin’s cheek.

“Argh! KEVAN!” Justin threw the bowl down on the counter and turned to the sink to get a wet towel. When he noticed that there was even more drippy green all over his shirt, he decided to just give up and go change. “Brian, can you please watch the Little Devil Child for a minute while I go try to find a clean shirt. Oh, and remind me to go back to rice cereal for another week or two starting tomorrow. Either that or I’ll have to buy all green clothing.”

Justin passed the wet rag he’d been using to try and clean Kevan up to his co-parent and jogged out of the room without waiting for Brian’s agreement. Brian was still standing at the far edge of the kitchen with his hand covering his mouth. He thought that the smell of the baby food was really, truly, horrible. He didn’t blame Kevan for not wanting to eat it. He was having a hard enough time keeping his own food down these days. He really did NOT need to see Kevan spitting out freshets of green goo. And even if he could bear the smell and the sight, there was no way he was going to get within five feet of the Green Goblin in his new Armani suit.

While Brian was standing there trying not to breath too deeply, Kevan got a little more enthusiastic in his splashing and, with both hands together, he brought his palms down with a resounding ‘splat’ against the tray. Slimy green blobs flew everywhere. Kevan’s face and chest were covered with the great, grey-green, greasy gobbets. Brian felt his stomach give a lurch at the sight. Kevan looked up at his daddy with a joyous smile on his little face, obviously thrilled with what he’d accomplished, while another dribble of green dripped out of the corner of his sweet little - green - lips.

“Oh fuck!” Brian dropped the towel and ran for the bathroom, almost plowing Justin over as he rushed towards the toilet and emptied the coffee he’d just drank, along with everything else in his stomach, into the porcelain bowl.

In spite of the rocky start to the morning, Brian had still managed to make it to work by nine am. He was still feeling a little green - pun definitely intended - but he thought that his stomach would calm down as long as he didn’t have to even look at food for at least the next four hours. Cynthia was there to greet him as he got off the elevator. She handed him a cup of coffee, prepared exactly how he liked it, and Brian sighed with relief. Now, all he needed was to get to his office where he could sit peacefully and try to get the sound of his wailing son - who didn’t want daddy to leave him - out of his mind.

“Morning, Boss. Welcome back!” Cynthia articulated as she took his briefcase out of his hand and exchanged it for an inch-thick sheaf of papers. “I thought you’d want to start the morning off with a little light reading.” Brian’s assistant was chuckling at his disbelieving look. “Those are the monthly reports for all your current clients so you can bring yourself up to speed. Gardner had me schedule a meeting between the two of you for eleven am, so you better get reading. He’s been on the warpath since word of your rescue came last Monday. I think he was actually hoping you would have stayed missing indefinitely.”

“Fuck!” Brian shook his head. “Well, there’s nothing like the ‘sink or swim’ method of business, I suppose. Let’s get started. Oh, and Cynthia . . . Just in case, would you make sure you’ve emailed me the contact information list for all my clients and any other accounts whose contracts are coming up for renewal in the next six months. Send it to my home email account, please.” Cynthia gave him an appraising stare. “You just never know when you’re going to need that kind of information, you know?”

“No, you don’t. That’s an excellent idea, Brian. I’ll get right on that,” Cynthia nodded and then sauntered off with her high heels clacking on the shiny faux-marble floors all the way down the hall to her own office.

Brian followed her at a more leisurely pace. So much for easing his way back into the daily pace at work, huh? And so much for having a peaceful morning too, Brian thought as he was greeted boisterously by pretty much everyone he passed. The fucking tabloids and their over-zealous reporting of his ‘rescue’ had apparently made the rounds at the office too. Brian was almost wishing for some horrible natural disaster to strike some small third-world country or something so that the spotlight would leave him sooner. Well, if he hadn’t been sick of the celebrity life before he left Cancun, he certainly was now. His resolve to get as far away from that life as he could was stronger than ever.

After running the gauntlet of his co-workers, Brian finally made it to the safety of his own office. He hustled inside and immediately pulled the door closed behind him in an attempt to deter further social calls. He was going to have enough to do to get caught up sufficiently to keep Gardner off his ass without wasting even more time with his in-house fan club.

Of course it wasn’t that easy. Brian was having the hardest time concentrating on what he was supposed to be reading. Instead, his mind kept drifting off to Kevan and Justin and the way the baby had screamed and cried while Brian was trying to leave the house that morning. The poor little thing had been so devastated that Brian was leaving. Brian felt incredibly guilty. And those pitiful cries just wouldn’t stop echoing in his ears even now. Add to that the fact that Brian himself didn’t much want to be away from Kevan or Justin yet, especially after the relaxing and almost idyllic few days they’d just spent together, and you didn’t really have a recipe for productivity. He must have looked at his cell phone at least a dozen times, wondering if it would be too pathetic for him to call home this soon just to make sure everyone was okay. And, yes, Brian knew he was being ridiculous, but right at that moment he was having a hard time finding the energy to care.

“Brian! Welcome back!” Vance boomed jovially as he barged into Brian’s office without knocking.

“Gardner . . . I didn’t think our meeting was scheduled until eleven,” Brian replied cautiously, eyeing the stack of reports he still hadn’t really made a dent in.

“I know. I know. But I just couldn’t wait to see you. There’s been some big changes around here while you were off on your little vacation, so I hope you had a good time and are ready to get back to work,” Vance announced with a deprecatory little chuckle.

“Vacation?” Brian picked up on that right away and stared back at his boss with incredulity. “Well, I guess, if you think being kidnapped, drugged out of your fucking mind and then held against your will while some crackpot threatens your family qualifies as a vacation, then yeah, it was just great. Maybe we should add that to the company benefits plan and then all your employees can enjoy the same wonderful vacation I had?” Brian snarled with a frown at a gaping Gardner Vance. “So, while I was off having so much fun, what life and death developments happened around here, huh?”

Vance just blinked up at Brian with a deer-in-the-headlights expression. Brian smiled coldly back, unwilling to cut his boss any slack or help him out by being the first to break the silence. Eventually Gardner looked away, trying to find some way to change the subject and get back to the business he’d come here to deal with.

“Uh . . . you’ve got something green on your collar,” was the best Vance could come up with, pointing up towards Brian’s shirt and the lapel of his brand new Armani Spring Collection suit.

“Fucking peas!” Brian moaned as he tilted his head to the side enough to get a glimpse of the glob of mushy, greasy green that was smeared across the fabric.

Justin was sitting at the dining room table with his laptop open trying to catch up on some of the homework he'd let slide over the past few weeks. Kevan was sitting on a blanket spread out over the floor by his feet. The little tyke had been moody all day, but at least he'd given up on the screaming thing about a half hour after Brian left. For the moment at least, he was quietly chewing on Uglyworm’s tail.

Both boys looked up expectantly when they heard the sound of the back door opening and then being slammed closed. This was followed by heavily stomping footsteps in the hallway and then another door slamming - probably the bedroom door, Justin surmised. He looked at the clock on his computer and noted how early it was. Considering how long Brian had been gone, Justin hadn't expected him home for hours yet.

“I guess that means your Daddy didn’t enjoy his first day back at work,” Justin observed to Kevan, who had already dropped Uglyworm, flipped over onto his tummy and was wiggling his way across the floor in the direction of the new arrival.

Justin quickly saved his work and closed up his computer. The fast little commando crawler was just passing the kitchen entrance, causing his Papa to smile. Kevan was such a smart little guy - he must have instinctively known it was his Daddy who’d arrived and he was intent on getting to him as quickly as possible. Justin decided to let him go for a bit and see how far the baby would get on his own, mentally thanking Emmett for already installing the baby gate at the top of the stairs down to the basement.

Kevan was most of the way down the hall when Brian finally emerged from the back wearing his standard relaxation uniform - faded blue jeans, partially unbuttoned, and a soft-looking, black, wife-beater tee. He scooped his son up from the floor without even pausing and continued padding towards the kitchen, his bare feet barely making any noise on the hardwood floor. He shifted the baby into a football hold under his left arm and reached into the fridge for a beer with his free hand. Kevan giggled, enjoying being hoisted around and juggled by his Daddy.

Justin waited until Brian had taken his first sip of beer before joining them in the kitchen. A freshly stressed-out Brian could be tricky. You weren’t always sure how to handle it. Sometimes it was best to let him simmer for a bit before approaching with any type of sympathy or advice. So, instead of asking what was wrong, Justin simply helped himself to his own beer, popped the top and then leaned back against the counter, waiting patiently for his partner to speak.

Brian finished his beer in one long swig and then took a big, deep, cleansing breath. Then he twirled Kevan around so that the baby was upside down, lifted the infant above his head, blew a raspberry on the chubby little tummy and finally spun the little body right side up again before situating Kevan comfortably on his hip. Kevan’s peals of unrestrained laughter rang out and filled the air around the two men. Justin saw Brian visibly relax as soon as the older man heard the cheerful sound. That, as much as his child’s laughter, elicited an answering smile from Justin.

“Fuck it! It doesn’t matter. THIS is all that matters,” Brian proclaimed and held his hand out to Justin invitingly.

After a calm evening of Thai delivery for dinner and an hour or so of playing with Kevan before the baby’s bedtime, Brian came back out of the nursery and wandered upstairs to Justin’s choir loft studio space. He plopped down on the small futon couch and just sat there contentedly, sipping at a glass of scotch while Justin painted. It felt so peaceful. Even if it was a little out of character for the dynamic man to simply sit and do nothing for such an extended period of time.

Eventually, Justin reached a stopping point. He dropped his brush into the waiting jar of solvent, wiped his hands off and then plopped down on the futon next to his lounging partner. Brian shifted over to make a little more room for him and stretched out his arm behind Justin’s shoulders. It was cozy. In fact, it might almost be considered ‘cuddling’ if it weren’t Brian Kinney who was involved. Justin wasn’t going to say anything though because he was rather enjoying the moment.

“Do you want to talk about what ‘doesn’t matter’ that pissed you off at work today?” Justin asked after about ten minutes, figuring that he might as well get it over with so they could enjoy the rest of their evening.

Brian didn’t answer at first. He’d long since finished his one glass of scotch, but was still playing thoughtfully with the glass. Finally, he seemed to come to some conclusion or other and nodded his head decisively.

“You’re taking a Graphics in Advertising class this term aren’t you,” Brian asked, to which Justin nodded. “How’s that going?”

“Great. I’m acing it. I used a variation on something I did for Ryder for my last project and got an A+ on it,” Justin announced with pride. “It’s really pretty fascinating, actually. We’re learning a lot more about the advertising side of the business rather than just the artistic side. I’m learning tons. And it gives me a lot more appreciation for what you do.” Justin emphasized his point by leaning in to leave a kiss on Brian’s temple.

“So, is that something you could see yourself doing for the long run, Sunshine?” Brian asked, looking sideways at the younger man as he waited for a response. “I mean, I know you love to paint, and you’re fucking talented as hell, so I’d understand if you thought you’d prefer to try your hand at painting for a living or something like that.”

“I do love painting,” Justin began, feeling the way Brian stiffened slightly as soon as he spoke, so he hurried on. “But I don’t think I’m interested in trying to make a living that way. I figure I can always paint on my own time. And if I end up getting my stuff in a show and maybe become famous, that would be great. But that’s not the only way to be an artist. I always thought I would go into some type of commercial art career and make my living that way. Maybe doing graphics work or more of the stuff I’ve been doing for Ryder and VanGuard. It’s still art, but it pays much better than being a starving artist living in a damp garrett somewhere.” Justin huffed a small laugh at the image of himself in a crumbling old loft with peeling walls and dirt-encrusted windows. “I don’t think I’m cut out to be the starving artist type . . . and I doubt you and Kevan would enjoy the experience either. So, if I want to keep you two in the style to which you’ve become accustomed, I figure I better get a job that actually pays some real money.”

“Hmmm. You're going to take over being the sugar daddy in this relationship?” Brian teased, melting Justin's heart with the crooked little smile he shot sideways at him. “I guess I could learn to live with that.” Then he got serious again. “So, you'd be okay with a job in graphic arts instead of the fine arts then?”

“Sure. That's where I've always seen myself anyways, why do you ask, though?”

Brian seemingly switched gears when he next spoke. “While I was gone, that asshat Vance gave away three of my biggest accounts - including the PittSteel account - to this new guy he hired. Some twenty-five year old hot shot just out of school named ‘Brandon’. The guy talks big but who knows if he can actually perform or not. If you ask me, he's way too big for his britches already. But Vance has such a hard on for the guy, I felt like I was just wasting my breath trying to talk him out of it.” Justin could hear the frustration in Brian's voice but there was also something else there, something oddly hopeful. “The thing is, I KNOW I'm good. And considering I've brought in more than half of the accounts on Ryder's - and now VanGuard’s - books, they should know it too. But instead I'm being shuffled off to the side. Guys like Vance don't care what you've done for them in the past. They only see what you've done for them lately. And I'm tired of doing for them at all.”

At this point Brian sat up, put his empty glass down on the floor and shifted so he was facing Justin directly. “While I was stuck in that room with nothing to do for almost a week, I had a shitload of time to think, Sunshine. And one of the things I thought about was how fed up I am working my ass off for someone else's benefit. I’ve put in a ton of hours bringing in major accounts like Armani and PittSteel but neither Ryder nor Vance ever seemed to appreciate my efforts for longer than it took to spend the money I made them,” Brian complained while searching Justin's eyes to measure how the younger man was taking things. “Don't get me wrong, I like what I do for a living but if I've learned anything in the past year, it's that my job isn't the most important thing in my life anymore. Kevan, Gus, you - you guys are what's important. And spending all of my time slaving away for someone else just means that I'm spending less time with the people that really matter. Plus, I'm getting relatively little in return for my trouble. Sooooo,” Brian grabbed Justin's hands in his and smiled with an expectant gleam in his eyes, “I was thinking that it makes more sense to work for myself instead.”

Justin was astonished by this abrupt idea. “You mean, quit VanGuard and open your own agency?”

“Exactly. I could work for myself and not have to deal with idiot bosses who didn't appreciate my work or who took advantage of my skills to line their own pockets,” Brian began to explain, an edge of excitement leaking through in his words. “Plus, I'd have more flexibility to spend time with my kids when and if I wanted to. We could even have on-site childcare at the office if we wanted and then I could see my kid whenever I felt like it. And I also thought that, maybe, you might like to run the Art Department for me, Sunshine? I mean, you pretty much did all the artwork on the B4 Project single-handedly and Armani loved it. I've seen your work and even without a degree you're ten times better than anyone Vance has working for him. Of course, you could still go to school and get your degree - we'd work around your schedule. I doubt we'd need a full time art department right away anyway, at least not until we built up a solid client base. But I never signed any kind of a Non-Compete agreement so I'm free to try and steal any of my existing accounts away from VanGuard.”

Brian’s words were coming faster and faster, his eagerness making him more animated until he paused, all of a sudden unsure of Justin’s response. Justin looked into Brian’s eyes. He could see how exhilarated and passionate the man was. He was also being so incredibly open about this. Open and honest about his feelings, hopes and dreams. And Brian didn’t even seem a tiny bit scared by the fact that he’d left himself vulnerable at that moment. Justin realized then just how traumatic the past few weeks had been, because it would have taken something really truly alarming to get Brian to open up like this. Not that Justin was complaining at all.

“What do you say, Sunshine? Wanna be my partner, partner?” Brian asked with a hopeful and trusting little smile that was absolutely impossible for Justin to say no to.

“How could I say no to a proposal like that?” Justin beamed his best sunshine smile at his partner.

Brian responded with a pretty sunshiney grin of his own, before leaning in and tackling Justin into a full-out, all-body, tackle-you-and-don’t-let-you-up, kiss.

And the kissing went on and on. Justin felt like he was a teenager again . . . well, he still technically WAS a teenager . . . but like a much younger teenager who was making out with a super hot guy that he really liked for ages and ages . . . until Brian started moaning and kind of writhing around. Justin thought that he was just a really good kisser and Brian was getting ready to move on beyond the teenagers making out stage, which was just fine with him. But then the moaning was dampened by a tiny little whimper, and . . . well, Brian didn’t usually whimper, at least not during sex, so Justin stopped the kissing for a minute and looked at his partner.

Brian didn’t look like someone in the throes of passion . . . he looked like someone in pain.

“Oh fuck! Hold that thought, Sunshine,” Brian panted, then quickly got up off the futon and ran down the stairs, galloping all the way down the hall till he reached the guest bath. The next sound that Justin heard was that of someone retching into the toilet. And the next sound after that was the toilet flushing and then another, louder, groan.

“Hmmm. I never made someone puke just by kissing them before,” Justin wondered aloud as the noises of continued gagging made their way all the way up to his studio loft.