Chapter 41 - Not a Tupperware Party!

WOW! The world was just zipping and zooming all over around Kevan today and he loved it.

He’d started off the evening just doing his usual tricks - you know, tilting the world so he could see it from a sitting position or making the world spin around him. However, that was getting to be old hat to Kevan and he was a little bored. None of the big people things were paying him any attention, no matter how much he showed off his world spinning skills, so Kevan quickly gave that up. It was really very annoying when his people didn’t give him the appropriate amount of adulation.

Well, fine, then. Kevan knew when he wasn’t wanted. If they were all going to just sit around making useless mouth sounds at each other for the whole night, especially when Kevan was working so hard to entertain them, then he wasn’t going to stick around. Kevan would pull the world around until that room full of boring big people things disappeared and a new, hopefully more appreciative place, appeared.

Kevan started off by lying on his belly on the hard brown of the floor and then using his hands to pull the world towards him. Like usual. But he was a little antsy tonight, seeing as he’d been woken up at a strange time, so when he felt the need, he added a little wiggle in with the pulling. Who knew what new permutations that might add to his world pulling fun, right?

In his enthusiasm, though, Kevan got a little out of control with the wiggly parts. The wiggly started to almost take over the pulling after a bit. And then there was a new and difficult combination of wiggly pulls for a few feet. Those wiggly pulls were some crazy doo-doo too. When Kevan wiggly pulled, the world moved in all kinds of random and wiggly ways. And before he knew it, Kevan had wiggly pulled himself in a whole new direction that he’d never explored before. How exciting!

A few more wiggly pulls later, Kevan made the accidental discovery that a really big wiggle would leave him balanced for just a moment with both hands and both knees pressing against the hard brown stuff underneath him. That was new. It felt so much higher up than Kevan’s regular perspective on the world. He could see soooooo much farther from these breathtaking new heights. How cool was that?

Then, in the most outrageous feat of world bending magic yet seen, Kevan invented an entirely new form of universe shifting that almost blew his little baby mind!

Kevan invented the Knees and Hands Together World Pulling Thing!

And boy was that some speedy doo-doo! The rate at which you could pull the world around with both your knees and hands working together was staggering. Before Kevan knew it he’d pulled the entire room around him until he was right up against this tall brown thing that had all sorts of interesting things to look at and touch and smell and taste . . . It was all so tempting. Kevan didn’t know what to investigate first. Hmmmmm. That big white roundish thing looked like it wanted to be tasted really badly. He’d start there and then move on.

*CRASH*

Kevan had reached out and grabbed hold of the white thing but quickly learned it didn’t actually like being tasted. Instead, the white thing wanted to jump out of Kevan’s hands and go crash on the hard brown floor. Now the roundish white thing wasn’t round anymore. It had turned into about a bajillion small pieces of untasty white.

Oh, well. Kevan didn’t really want to play with the white thing anymore anyway. He wanted to go back to the Knees and Hands Together World Pulling Thing and make the room zip and zoom and twist and turn around him faster and faster and faster . . .

Which was just what Kevan was planning to do until The Daddy swooped him up off the hard brown into his strong-soft arms and ruined all the fun!

“You're absolutely sure about this, Brian?” Mel asked for the third time that night as she gathered up the paperwork strewn across the table.

“Yes, Mel. We're sure,” Brian rolled his eyes at the annoying and repetitive question. “I was sure the last two times you asked me the same question and I'm still sure this time. If Justin and I weren't sure about what we wanted, we wouldn't have called all of you over here tonight so that we could finalize all this fucking paperwork and we would've thrown a Tupperware Party instead.”

The three other people gathered around the dining table turned conference room in Britin’s Chapel laughed at the Stud’s always ready wit. Justin was almost as fed up with Mel's repetitive doubts as Brian was. At this point, he was beginning to think they should have used some other attorney for the incorporation and partnership agreements they needed for the new agency. Yes, Mel was a friend - he knew Brian was trying to throw her a bone, preferring to pay Mel instead of some stranger for the work - but then again, a stranger would have come without the attitude.

“I just want you to think about this one last time, Brian,” Mel tried to explain her misgivings. “This is a huge risk you're taking and now that you're a father you've got a lot of people relying on you and your judgment. You can't just go off half-cocked, not giving a damn about the consequences, the way you used to.”

“Mel, I think you're being overly-cautious,” Ted intervened. “I've gone over the numbers with Brian and Justin and I think what they're proposing is doable. We've put together a good business plan and, based on Brian's track record the past few years, I think he'll do just fine. Besides, trust me, just because you think you have a good steady job one day, there's no guarantee that you won't be fired for some trumped up reason the next. At least if you work for yourself you don't have to rely on the whims of some flighty boss who couldn't give a shit how long and hard you've worked for his company in the past.

Nobody said anything more for a minute or two. Poor Ted had just been fired the week before when his boss at Werkshafter’s had caught him watching porn on his computer at the office. Ted was pretty much devastated by what he saw as an unwarranted discharge. Justin reached over and gave Ted's arm a short, consoling squeeze followed by a smile to acknowledge the truth of what he'd said. That was one friend that Justin wasn't hesitant about employing.

The other friend who was there with them wasn't shy about voicing her own support for Brian and Justin's new venture. “I for one think it's a brilliant plan and I have no doubts at all that we’re going to pull this off,” Cynthia stated assuredly. “If Brian can bring over even a tenth of his accounts from VanGuard, we’ll have more work than we know what to do with. Brian's always been hands on with all his accounts and the clients appreciate that. They know him and his work and that counts for a lot. And so far, the few clients Brian and I have approached have all been supportive.”

“Not to mention all the ideas we’ve been working on to pitch to new clients,” Justin added, looking at his own pile of documents which included pages and pages of notes from the brainstorming session he, Brian and Cynthia had been involved in before Ted and Mel arrived. “I can't wait to get started on some of these boards. We're going to knock their fucking socks off.”

“Well, pardon me for not lifting a pompon and rushing to join the Kinney Pep Squad,” Mel let her sarcasm fly. “All I'm saying, Brian, is that either you’ve got balls made of pure titanium or else you're certifiably insane, and I'm really not sure which it is at the moment.”

When Brian just continued to frown at Mel without responding, though, she finally relented. “Fine. Whatever. I'll get the paperwork filed with the Secretary of State’s office first thing tomorrow.” She put the last of the documents into her briefcase and then snapped the case closed. “So when, exactly, are you going to announce your big plans to the rest of the world?”

“Not till we're ready,” Brian looked over and nodded at Justin and Cynthia. “I want to have signed commitments from at least two of our new prospects before I give my notice to Vance. Luckily, Cynthia's already got us an appointment with one of the potential clients on our list and has a lead on getting us in the door at another. Now it's up to Sunshine here to do his artistic thing and then I'll waltz in and sell them on our ideas just like I always do.” Brian sounded as smug as ever. “I'd say we’ll be good to go in two weeks . . . Three, tops.”

Just then the meeting was interrupted by the unexpected ringing of the doorbell. It was fairly late on a Wednesday evening, they weren't expecting anyone and both Brian and Justin were a little leery of surprise visitors these days, but Brian got up from his seat anyways. The rest of the group took that as the signal that they were done for the evening and started packing up their stuff. When the doorbell rang a second time - resoundingly - before Brian could get to the door, it was followed by the sound of crying emanating from the back of the house. Justin, fully annoyed that anyone would dare to wake up his son, whom they had JUST managed to get to sleep, sighed and trotted off to go see to Kevan.

Brian peeked through the window before opening the door, and was a little miffed but not at all surprised to see Michael waiting impatiently on his doorstep. Brian had been avoiding his oldest friend ever since his return from captivity. He was astonished that Michael had actually held off so long. Brian figured it was past time to face the music, though, so he put on his best fake smile and opened the door.

“Mikey. What brings you by here after nine on a Wednesday night without calling first,” Brian asked in his most facetious voice.

“Hey, Brian! What’s going on over here? I saw all the lights on and there’s lots of cars out front,” Michael greeted Brian with his standard kiss on the cheek and charged in without really being invited. “Oh, hey, guys,” Michael waved at Ted and Mel who were just then getting up from their seats at the table. “What’s up, Brian? How come Mel and Ted are over here tonight? Are you guys on your way out? It’s still early, if you want to hit Woody’s for a bit.”

“Wow, is that the time?” Mel looked at her wrist - which didn’t have a watch on it by the way -  picked up her briefcase and bustled over to where her jacket was hanging on the coatrack by the door. “I’ve got to get home or Lindz will give me no end of shit. Night, everyone.”

“Goodnight, Mel. Thanks,” Brian said and closed the door behind the fleeing lesbian lawyer. “I repeat, what brings YOU by tonight, Mikey.”

“I just missed you, Brian. We haven’t spent any time together in ages, you know. So, I thought I’d just drop by and see if you were free,” Michael admitted. “And I know it hasn’t been that long since the whole Taggart thing, so if you don’t want to go out, that’s cool. We could just hang out and have some beers here, if you want.”

Brian could see that Mikey was trying to be on his best behavior. He had even dialed back the whining to a significant degree. It HAD been a long time since they’d spent any time together, and he would have to bite the bullet and deal with Mikey sooner or later, so Brian relented with only a hint of misgiving.

“Come on in, Mikey. We were just finishing up, so your timing isn’t too bad,” Brian waved his friend over to the main seating area and plunked down onto one of the big black couches himself. Michael followed him, with a big puppy dog smile on his face. Ted, who had just finished stowing his own paperwork in the tan leather satchel he used for such things, ambled over to join his friends while Cynthia continued to scroll through something on her tablet computer and make notes over at the table. The party was complete when Justin came plodding out of the back with a sniffly Kevan in his arms.

“Sorry, Brian. The doorbell woke him up and I can’t get him to go back to sleep. Could you try your magic on him and I’ll get everyone a drink,” Justin offered as he handed off the baby to his other father.

“Awww, Sonny Boy. Buck up, kiddo,” Brian deposited a comforting kiss on his offspring’s cheek and then reveled in the feeling of contentment that came over him when the child grabbed onto his neck and snuggled down into his shoulder as if his Daddy was the only thing in the world that mattered at that moment.

While Brian was still busy talking Kevan out of another crying jag, Justin came back with beers for Michael and Ted and a ginger ale for Brian. He tried to take Kevan, but the baby was having none of that - he just burrowed deeper into Brian’s side and refused to be displaced. Even laconic Ted smiled at the sight.

“So what were you guys all up to tonight?” Michael asked for the third time, unable to let it go that almost all his friends had been gathered together without him.

“Just a little business meeting,” Brian offered the quickest explanation he thought he could get away with. “Mel’s doing some legal work for us and Ted’s my accountant so I asked for his advice on some financial stuff.” Then, to change the subject, “So, where’s The Professor tonight, Mikey? Didn’t I hear through the grapevine that the two of you are hell bent on shacking up?”

Brian’s machiavellian distraction tactic worked perfectly and in no time Michael was off, telling his old friend all about the pending move and everything he and Ben had done or said or eaten together in the past month. Brian and Ted nodded and gave noncommittal verbal responses wherever appropriate, but didn’t really need to do much else to participate in the conversation. Justin had returned to the table, still working with Cynthia or sketching and completely ignoring the gang’s talk.

All that talking was apparently thirsty work, though, and Michael had finished his first beer in record time. Getting up off the couch with the empty in hand, he offered to get everyone else another round as well. Which was when he noticed that Brian was drinking a soft drink instead of anything alcoholic.

“What the hell are you drinking, Brian?” Michael lifted up the bottle of ginger ale and eyed it as if it might bite. “Since when do you drink this shit?”

“I’ve been having some stomach problems,” Brian responded evasively.

“Well, just so long as they’re not the same stomach problems you were having last year about this time. Right? Hahaha,” Michael joked as he gathered the rest of the bottles and took the lot off to the kitchen, returning with fresh ones for all three of them.

Ted noticed the odd look that Brian had barely hidden after Michael’s last comment and the fact that he hadn’t responded to the little joke. The perceptive yet mild-mannered accountant looked over at his friend and wondered. Brian pointedly avoided Ted’s gaze and continued busying himself with Kevan, who was now wiggling energetically and seemed interested in getting down out of his Daddy’s lap. Ted had noticed earlier that Brian hadn’t been drinking anything alcoholic. He wouldn’t say anything, of course, but he did think it was odd and out of character for the Brian Kinney he knew.

By the time Michael got back with the drinks, Brian was totally engrossed in Kevan’s ongoing antics. The baby was rolling around on the carpet in front of the seating area looking like some crazy rolly-polly bug or something. Brian and Ted were both laughing at the acrobatics. Michael glanced at the baby, but couldn’t see what the big deal was - okay, so the baby was rolling on the carpet and wiggling and looked pretty silly, but he really didn’t like the distraction it caused. The more Brian focused on the baby, the less attention he gave to Michael, who’d been waiting for this time with his best friend forever it seemed. Michael looked over to the table where Justin and Cynthia were chatting, completely blind to what was going on. Michael wished that the twink would come over and take the kid away so that Brian wouldn’t be so preoccupied. He knew better than to say anything though.

“So, hey, Brian,” Michael finally spoke up when it felt like the baby was never going to stop sucking up all Brian’s attention. “It seems like you’re doing a lot better. Do you think you’re up for a night out? Maybe this weekend? We could meet at the Diner, have dinner and then head over to Woody’s for drinks before hitting the club. It’ll be great. Just like old times again. What do you say?”

Brian exhaled heavily. He’d known that this would be coming, and had been dreading it. “I don’t know, Mikey. I’m going to be swamped with work stuff for the next few weeks. I doubt I’ll have the time or the energy for clubbing for a while.” Brian looked away again, using Kevan as a focal point so he wouldn’t have to see the disappointment he knew would be in his old friend’s eyes.

“That’s bullshit, Brian,” the expected response came right on schedule. “You’re always busy and you’ve always worked hard but that never stopped you from going out and enjoying yourself. The excuse that you’re too busy at work doesn’t make sense. I listened to what the twink said when you first got back and I’ve been patient, but it’s been weeks now. What’s really going on, huh? Why don’t you want to go out or spend any time with your friends? I just don’t understand. This isn’t like you, Brian.”

“Yes, it is, Mikey,” Brian insisted, raising his voice. “Or at least it’s like the me I want to be.” Seeing as Michael had already opened his mouth, prepared to argue the point, Brian hurried on. “A lot of insane shit has happened to me over the past year, Michael. I had a fucking baby for fuck’s sake! As life altering experiences go, that one definitely takes the cake. There’s no way in hell that I could go through something like that and not grow up. Add to that the fact that I’ve been hounded by the media, stalked by a lunatic and ended up being kidnapped and held against my will. There’s no fucking way anybody could go through all that and NOT change, Mikey. And that aging club boy I used to be - well, there’s just no way I could still be him anymore after all this. Don’t you see, Mikey?”

“No, I don’t see. I don’t see why everything has to change. Why you even want to change?” Michael stood up and looked down at Brian. “This is the way it’s always been with you and me, Brian. You would go out and party and live it up and I would be there to take care of you. That’s the way you said you wanted things. You SAID you’d never settle down and become a family man. You SAID you didn’t do all that wanna be hetero stuff. You liked your life before. We always had fun together. We were a team. That wasn’t supposed to change, Brian. We were going to be best friends forever. So why would you go and change and just forget everything you’ve ever believed in? Why would you just cut me out of your life like this? Tell me. Why?”

“Oh, Michael,” Brian didn’t really know where to begin after that harangue. “Most of this has nothing to do with you.” Michael started to turn away, but Brian stood up too, putting out a hand to stop him. “Listen to me, Michael. Are you listening?” Brian demanded.

“Yes.”

“We’re not a couple of fifteen year old kids anymore, Mikey. The shit I was spouting back then about how I wanted my life to be and what my goals were, was all a heaping pile of bullshit,” Brian shook his head when Michael looked like he was going to object. “Yes, it was. It was all bullshit made up by a scared little kid. I had no idea where my life was going to lead me when I made up all those stupid rules. And I shouldn’t have to be held to the rules made up by that KID now that I’m thirty.”

Michael still didn’t look like he was willing to concede anything, so Brian grabbed at the first example that came to mind. “Fine. Look at it this way . . . If I remember correctly, when you were fifteen you told me that once you were an adult, you were never going to eat another vegetable again. You said you’d have pizza every night if you liked and become an anti-vegan. You also said that you would never go to bed before midnight and your big career plans were to become a superhero sidekick. And now that we’re both all grown up, you don’t see me trying to dissuade you from eating the occasional salad or complaining because you and Ben went to bed before eleven last night, do you?” Brian huffed out a little laugh at the very idea. “It’s the same thing for me, Mikey. I’m not going to hold you to the vows you made at fifteen and it’s not fair that you would hold me to mine. A lot of life has happened since I told you I never wanted to ever settle down. And now that I’ve got two kids and a partner, I think I’m settled even if I didn’t want to be.”

“But that’s just it. You don’t have to be this new, boring, settled Brian if you don’t want to be. You’re letting them make you into something you never wanted and that’s just plain wrong,” Michael refused to see the distinction. “You liked being the ultimate Stud, fucking whatever hot guy you saw and not giving a damn about what happened in the future. You LOVED that life and I loved being there with you.”

“Maybe I did like that life . . . some of the time. But I don’t see myself liking it anymore, Mikey.” Brian was getting frustrated, feeling like Michael was intentionally trying NOT to understand. “Maybe you’ll never really understand unless you have kids yourself. I don’t know. All I can say for sure is that, while I was locked up in that room for days and days with nothing to do, I had a hell of a lot of time to think. And all I could think about - all I really wanted - was to get home. Back to my family - my kids and Justin. I told myself that if I ever did make it back to them, I wouldn’t waste any more time on trying to prove I was the next greatest fuck or the most attractive fag in the world or that I could out party everyone. I realized that none of that ever really mattered. All that did matter to me was getting another chance to spend time with Kevan and Gus and trying to be the best parent to them that I could be.” Brian shook his head, smiled sadly and then sat back down on the couch again, continuing to speak in a subdued voice. “And there’s just no way that I can keep being the Brian Kinney you think I should be and still be the person I want to be. I’m actually, truly, sorry about that. But I don’t want to be your hero anymore, Michael. I just want to be me.”

While Brian had been talking, Justin had silently come up from behind, ready to provide whatever support was needed. He knew how hard this discussion would be on Brian and he wanted his partner to know he was there without getting in the middle of things. So, without saying anything, the teen quietly seated himself on the arm of the couch, putting one hand on Brian’s shoulder and biting his tongue every time he felt like speaking out.

Everyone else’s attention was focused on the tense scene as well. When Brian fell quiet again, the room was absolutely silent. Michael eventually sagged down into the couch seat behind him, but he didn’t say anything more either. Underneath the silence, you could hear Michael’s whole world crashing down around him like a noiseless private apocalypse. It was a painful silence that nobody was willing to interrupt.

Well, almost nobody.

There was one person in the house who didn’t seem fazed by the momentous happenings around him. A very busy little person who’d wiggled and rolled around until he accidentally discovered that he could crawl much faster if he lifted up his backside and pushed with his knees instead of just belly crawling. So, he did. And before Kevan knew it he was crawling across the floor in a direction he’d never gone before, taking full advantage of his newly developed love of speed.

Thankfully - or maybe not so thankfully, depending on whether or not you were the owner of the shattered vase - the awkward silence was broken by the sound of crashing porcelain. All the adults jumped to their feet, ran around the couches and then groaned at the sight of an unrepentant and giggling Kevan crawling away from the scene of the crime. Brian leaped in and snatched the little vandal up before he could hurt himself on the shards of broken pottery. Or break something else.

“He’s crawling . . .” Brian and Justin both announced at the same time, looking at each other with a combination of pride and dread.

“Shit! I really liked that vase too,” Brian moaned and in those words you could hear the mourning of an era come to an end - the era of Brian The Stud.

“I just hope my mother doesn’t notice the vase she gave us as a housewarming present is missing,” was Justin’s sensible and serene reply.