MICHAEL

Lindsay showed up with my Honeybun and I forgot to mention Hunter’s news. I was thrilled that they were finally moving closer, but it was ironic that now I could afford to go there, with what Justin did for Ben and me. I wanted Ben to be able to scale back and rest more. It wasn’t like his HIV was causing him any problems right now, but being able to rest more couldn’t hurt him. He argued that he could still work the way he did. I argued that being able to be home with me should be important too. I told him Justin knew what was important to him, and a career wasn’t it. Ben agreed to not offer to teach any summer courses, since we’d be traveling. It was exciting to think we were going to see all the things Ben talked about.

Lindsay seemed down for some reason, but she and I never really talked about her problems. I think for me it still stings a little what she did when she was suing Mel and I. None of us were right, but using Hunter and Ben to win was harder for me to let go of. I understand she didn’t want to lose her rights to be in Jenny’s life, but it was really wrong to use Hunter’s life as if he had any choice in what he did. I managed to at least get to the point where we could talk to each other before they left, and to at least stay somewhat friends. I just didn’t get involved in anything between her and Mel anymore. I learned that it really wasn’t my business after the whole mediation.

“I have some good news.” I tell her, when Ben took Jenny and Gus to play outside.

“I could use some, I’m depressed for no real reason.” She tells me.

“Are you and Mel okay?” I ask wanting to shut my mouth.

“We’re the best we’ve ever been, it’s just something else that bothers me. I feel like a friend is still pissed at me for what I did years ago.” She tells me.

“I’ll listen, but usually I’m crap at giving advice. Ben is the person who knows how to do that, probably from the years of having to rein me in.” I joke.

“This is going to sound like I’m jealous and I am a little. Justin needs a new assistant and he didn’t even think to ask me.” She tells me.

“Um, you know, it might be better for you to talk to Ben.” I tell her, wishing I went outside with the kids.

I know she was only thinking of Justin’s career, but even I didn’t like that she went behind his back and got Brian to agree that he needed to let Justin go. Brian had finally stopped fighting what we all knew, that Justin was the only person he’d ever love. How she could think taking that away was good for either of them, really bothered me.

“Michael, I know you have an opinion, so say it.” She insists.

“Just remember, I always put my foot in it, so it’s likely I’m going to again.” I tell her.

“I’ll deal with it.” She tells me.

“You seem to always think you know more than Justin does about what he wants. You’ve never worked with Justin, I have, and he knows what he wants and he does what it takes, no matter what anyone thinks. I asked him why he gave in so easily and you know what he said? He told me that he knew he’d eventually have to take on New York, but at the time he wanted to be happy with Brian. That for the first time, they weren’t fighting to be with each other. You going to Brian screwed that up, after he already told you he didn’t want to do that. So he probably knows that you’d be trying to run his life, not work for him. You do that, take things too far, hell we all do. I get why Brian and Justin didn’t want everyone at the wedding, we’d all be trying to change what they wanted. Something neither of them ever did to us.” I tell her, not sure how she’s going to take what I have to say next, but I’m not going to let her ruin Hunter’s moment. “He asked Hunter.” I tell her.

“Hunter doesn’t know anything about the art world, he’ll end up saying something he shouldn’t in front of people he shouldn’t. Justin needs someone who knows artists.” She tells me.

“To be his assistant, because Hunter’s job is only to make sure things get scheduled and that everything Justin needs done is done. He doesn’t need to know who painted what, but he does, because Hunter is interested in art. He told me that sitting with Justin and discussing what he saw in a painting helped him to see it differently. Hunter really loved the shows that we went to when Justin made me go. I look, but we all know I prefer comics, Hunter told me that painting speaks to him, and he can see his life in art. He might never be an artist, but he saw beauty in some of the ugliness that artists bring to life. You know which ones Hunter said showed him all he needed to know about Brian and Justin, the five Justin never allowed to sell. He said it was like Justin found the most important things in their relationship and brought them to life. Justin didn’t paint Brian or himself in them, but that each one was as if they left the room and what you see are what was left of them in those paintings. You don’t get to say that Hunter doesn’t know art, when he seems to understand it the way Justin does and you never could.” I tell her, angry that she dismissed Hunter like that.

“Michael, I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way.” Ben says, leaving the door open so he can see the kids.

I walked into Ben’s arms because I knew he’d understand why I’m angry. Hunter’s had to fight all his life, and Lindsay making it sound like he was still the kid we first met angers me. Hunter became a better man than any of us.

“I shouldn’t have said it that way. It’s not like I could even do the job, but it hurts that Justin didn’t even offer it to me.” She tells us.

“Michael go play with Jenny and Gus.” Ben tells me.

I walked out and let Ben handle it, because he’s not hot headed like me.

“Lindsay, I don’t fucking like the way you dismiss our son like he’s still the kid we brought home.” I hear, smiling at how much Ben and I think alike.

BRIAN

I woke up and knew I must be still dreaming. I was at Britin, and could see painting one in the hall outside my door. I got up when I heard giggling, and went out the bedroom door to the backyard. Out of the corner of my eye I see two blond children running into the woods. I run after them, because they’re too young to be by themselves. It was like they were popping in and out of sight as I chased them. I passed painting two as if it no longer mattered, and three, then I saw four propped up on a tree and heard a childish voice say it’s not as good as the ones ahead. I ran in that direction and saw not five, but a new one. It showed the blond children surrounded by fireflies they were trying to catch, and I saw another where they were holding Gus’s hands pointing out over a mountain range.

“Don’t forget to take us there one day.” One of the boys says, peeking out from behind a tree.

“Who are you?” I ask.

“You’ll meet us one day, time to wake up Daddy.” He yells, taking off with the other boy.

“Brian, wake up.”

I opened my eyes to Justin looking at me strangely. I launched myself at him putting my head on his chest, hearing his heart beating. Only instead of freaking out about it, I felt really good about it.

“Sorry to wake you, since you seem to think whatever you were dreaming about was funny, but Michael said he needed to talk to you. I came in to tell you he sounded upset.” He tells me.

“He’s always excited or upset.” I tell him.

“Not the way he did on the phone, I think Lindsay pissed him off.” Justin tells me.

“Can we just be us for a second?” I asked him.

“We can be whatever you want for life.” He kisses my head.

It’s different that Justin and Michael are better friends than Lindsay and Justin are. Not that Justin and Lindsay have a bad relationship, it’s just, as time went on, Justin outgrew what Lindsay could teach him. He told me that Michael was still teaching him, by learning to accept changes in life. Justin doesn’t see that Michael learned from him that life could be more by wanting things and working to get them. Justin came from the same background as Lindsay, but didn’t need approval and status to make him happy. It’s something Lindsay still has a hard time with. She craves the approval of her peers.

I grabbed my phone when Rachel showed up with Hunter in tow. Justin and Rachel were taking Hunter to get clothes. I would have gone, but Rachel understands style, so I called Mikey, waving them out the door.

“You have Justin worried, and that leads to him wanting to talk, not fuck.” I kid.

“Sorry to ruin the marathon.” He says glummly.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“You know I’m thrilled that Hunter’s going to work for Justin.” He tells me.

“Don’t worry, we won’t let your baby get lost.” I joke.

“Brian, I know Justin will take care of him. Lindsay just pissed me off.” He tells me.

“She’s upset because Justin never offered her the job.” I tell him.

“I get that, but she kind of put down Hunter and I just needed to talk so I don’t keep being pissed about it.” He tells me. “Normally I’d talk to Ben, because you know he’s the reasonable one between us, but even Ben is pissed. Lindsay’s now trying to say that it might be better not to move back. I don’t want Jenny and Gus in Canada.” He tells me.

“What did she say, and don’t take an hour to explain it.” I tell him.

“I should have just told Justin, but he’d be on the first plane to yell at her too.” He grumbles.

“Mikey.” I say, to get him to talk, and talk he did.

“Why is she acting like Hunter is still the kid we all first met?” He asks when he finished.

“Because he’s going to live in a world she wanted to. I’ll talk to her.” I tell him.

“No you won’t, because it’s time for us to take up the mantle for you. You and Justin have twins to birth.” He laughs, hanging up.

MEL

I wanted to surprise everyone by coming down for the weekend. Lindsay and I need to pick a house that we both like. I got to Michael and Ben’s house and found Lindsay sitting outside, upset. I don’t get it, she was happy when she left, saying it would be nice to see everyone.

“Mel maybe it’s a mistake to come back.” Were the first words out of her mouth when she saw me.

“Why are you saying that?” I ask, when she hugged me tightly.

“Michael and Ben aren’t really thrilled I’m here.” She tells me.

“Lindsay, it’s not that we aren’t thrilled, but we don’t like the way you talked as if Hunter wasn’t qualified to have a job working for Justin.” Ben said.

“You both took it as if I was putting Hunter down.” She tell him, with tears in her eyes.

“How else would we take you saying Hunter would embarrass himself in front of people in the art world?” Ben asks.

“Lindsay why?” I ask.

“Justin didn’t even ask me if I wanted the job.” She tells me, which explains it all.

“It’s time you stop trying to live a life you gave up, or start trying to do it yourself. I know you say that you couldn’t do what he does, but you didn’t even try. I want you to try to achieve your dreams without the excuses you give. Being here will make it possible for you to do it because I’ll be making enough that you can paint or sketch. Jenny and Gus will have family that can help us so you don’t get bogged down trying to use them as an excuse for why you can’t do things. We need to move back because you’re being held back, just like I was in Canada.” I tell her.

“I love you, you know.” She tells me, and I can see she understands now. “I wish I didn’t say what I did.” She tells Ben.

“We all say things that we know better than to say.” Michael tells her.