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Author's Chapter Notes:

Just a note Impossible won't be updated until sometime tomorrow. 

BEN  


Michael always acts like Hunter has been away for years. It was like he thought Hunter couldn’t find a grocery store every time we visited him at college. He spent all day shopping for food to put in the loft for Hunter and Shelby, but then filled a cart with food for our house for Hunter. Which wouldn’t be so bad if Deb wasn’t doing the same thing for us, all the time. I finally had to stop him if we were going to have room to pick up our son, before he had to take a cab to get him.


We were both proud that Hunter landed his first job because Justin believed in him. It was why I was angry at Lindsay, Hunter overcame so much and worked hard for his degree. He never slacked off, he told us he wanted to be more than a kid from the street. He stopped seeing his life as if it was already over and told me that one day he wanted to do everything, and experience the things he kept seeing as out of reach.


Brian showed up in my office one day and told me it was great to love Hunter, but Michael and I needed to stop seeing the kid who we wanted to wrap in blanket. Hunter needed to make mistakes and Michael and I running around trying to coddle him was driving the kid insane. I asked Brian if he remembered who his best friend was. Michael is a mother hen.


I will say I’m surprised by who Hunter brought home, because up till now it’s usually a girl. As usual, Brian didn’t seem very surprised by it. Brian always seems to know things before the rest of us, but keeps it to himself. We like Shelby, but Brian is right, Hunter brought home a version of Justin in a way, but then no one will ever be Justin to any of us.


When Justin left for New York, Michael at first started almost acting as if he was glad Justin was gone. It took me witnessing the many phone calls to see that Michael missed Justin. They developed a relationship outside of Brian, that even Brian admits scares the hell out of him. Michael told me when we left Babylon after the reopening, that Justin called him and told him to get Brian out of the loft. That Babylon needed to go on as the place they all found each other. Every time Justin called, Michael would drop what we were doing to check on Brian and report back to Justin that we got him out.


We all knew something was going on during the third year, because Brian was hard to deal with. Brian wouldn’t tell us what was going on, but the only time Brian acted like this was when he and Justin were pulling away from each other. Finally Brian took off, and came back happier, but didn’t tell us why. It was when we started seeing less of Brian, because he was going to see Justin’s shows and generally spend time with Justin and Gus.


Michael and I were jealous that we couldn’t see Jenny as much, but she couldn’t travel the way Gus could. Justin offered to have Rachel pick Jenny up and deliver her if there was a problem getting her from one place to the other. Michael took him up on it for the summers, and we got to see Jenny more often. We would go to the girls in Canada, but it wasn’t something we could afford often.


I came out of my musing when Michael was practically running to get to Hunter. Hunter might roll his eyes at Michael’s enthusiasm, but loves all the attention that he gets from us.


“You know we just saw each other a week ago?” He asks, when Michael practically strangled him to death.


“You know that you still have to see your grandmother, and your sister, who was very upset that you got to see Justin. Do you realize Jenny is going to want to know everything about Paris and what you did while you were there.” Michael tells him, leading us to baggage.


“I’m sure it’s Jenny who wants to know.” Hunter tells him as we wait.


Michael grabbed the suitcase Hunter took with him, turning to leave when Hunter stopped him pointing at three more that were coming out.


“What did Brian do, make you bring home his shopping trip before Justin figured it out?” Michael asks.


“No, actually Justin and Rachel took me shopping for my new job and for presents for everyone. He found you another troll for the front yard.” Hunter tells Michael.


“I put one troll in the yard and Justin can’t resist sending me one everywhere he goes.” Michael pretends to complain.


“I think he’s got you this one for the JT doll you had made for him.” Hunter tells him.


Michael groaned as we made it to the car. Michael had the doll made when they reached fifty issues, not realizing how many strange places the gang were going to put JT. It became a game when Michael complained that Justin didn’t call or come home enough. Emmett would steal the thing and dress it like a busboy and have it sitting on Michael’s plate. Ted would have it sitting on the bar with a shot of Beam when we were out. Brian scowled at it a lot, asking Michael why he thought Ken looked anything like Justin, but would put it in his pocket before leaving. Justin really never got to have the doll for any longer than his visit.


BRIAN


Justin and I were eating dinner at a small restaurant when Gus called to talk to us. I was hoping with it being summer, that Mel and Lindsay would let him come stay with us. I think Gus was hoping his Jus would talk them into it. Justin handed me the phone, after telling Gus that he'd see if Michael could bring him.


“Dad, they aren't leaving here for another three weeks. I wanted to come now. All the moms want to do is see their friends and look at houses.” He tells me.


“Your moms won’t let you travel alone.” I tell him.  


“Why can't Jus come?” He asks.


“Brian, I can go. I miss him too.” Justin begs.


Justin and Gus can always get me to cave when they gang up on me. It's something they use to get me to go along with them. How the hell am I going to survive two more?


“Just don’t get trapped there.” I tell him


“Brian, I want to talk to Lindsay about something, and I hope you’ll agree with me.” He tells me.


“Justin, don’t let her get involved in your career. We both know that’s a mistake.” I tell him.


“Lindsay recognizes talent, who better to scout it? She could work her own hours and still be able to take care of Gus and Jenny.” He tells me.


“Make sure she understands that in the end, you're the boss.” He tells me.


DEB


I knew something happened at Michael’s house with Lindsay, but they all were keeping whatever it was quiet. Lindsay could never understand that her pupil surpassed her, and wasn't looking to her for advice anymore. She's going to have a hard time when the kids grow up, not wanting her around if she doesn't watch out.


It was a lesson I learned when Michael stood up to me about Ben. I was used to Michael giving in to me, and took it too far. I was so angry at Michael for telling me who I could date that I didn’t see it was the same thing I did to him with Ben. My son fell in love with someone other than Brian, and I should have been happy for him, but instead I treated Ben’s HIV the way people treated my boys for being gay. It wasn’t a moment I will ever be proud of. I couldn’t help the way I felt, I watched Vic struggling to survive and wasting away, and all I could think was I never wanted to outlive my son. Only I was trying to ruin Michael’s chance to be happy out of fear. I’ll always be proud of Michael for fighting for Ben’s place at his side. Michael knew Brian belonged to Justin and fought it, but managed to find a brother he never had.


All my boys found happiness, now that Hunter had a young man. Vic is most likely smiling down on us, happy that he was right. He told me that one day I would be surrounded by my boys and their children. I was melancholy, I had years before Gus and Jenny will turn all our hair grey. I waited for Jen to come over, she wanted to congratulate Hunter on getting the job. I also thought we could let Lindsay talk to us if she needed to, she seemed as if she was lost coming here. She was realizing that when they left, like any relationships, distances changes the things people used to need you for. Justin didn’t need Jen or I trying to take care of him, but sometimes it was more like Justin was taking care of us. That young man grew up too fast, wanting to do everything and not being able to wait for anything to happen. Jen came in, catching Gus when he went to tell her that his Jus was coming to take him to London.


“Dad said Jus could come, but to not let anyone keep him.” Gus tell her.


“I think your Dad understands that Jus will stay a few days.” Jen tells him.


“Jenny’s jealous that I get to go, but if she came she wouldn’t get to see her Dads.” Gus tells her.


“I’m sure now that Michael and Ben can afford it, Jenny will get to do as many things as you do.” Lindsay tells him.


“Gus why don’t you go play with Jenny so she doesn’t miss you so much.” I tell him.


Jen shook her head when she heard my tone. Lindsay almost made it sound like they were spoiling Gus with all the attention. Gus ran upstairs and I pointed to a chair for Lindsay to put her ass in.


“Why are you acting like a spoiled child yourself?” I ask her.


“Mel and I are moving here so the kids can see their fathers more. And none of them are even planning on being here.” She tells me.


“Brian had business and took his husband, the same way you and Mel do everything together. Michael and Ben are taking a trip Ben always wanted to take. Why can’t you be happy for everyone?” Jen asks her.


“I guess I just feel like my life is standing still.” She tells Jen.


“Lindsay, find something you want to do. It doesn’t have to set the world on fire, just something to make you happy. You are having the same problem Michael did when he returned from Portland, everyone was moving on and Michael felt like he was still at the starting line. Michael is happy every day, because he loves introducing kids to comics. It might not seem like a big deal, but he found something to do with all his useless knowledge, and the people who hang out with him love to sit around debating what happens next. It’s about finding what you can be happy doing, not about what you wish you could do. I love feeding people, and work only because it makes me happy.” I tell her.


“Get off your ass and find what you want to do to be happy.” Jen tells her.

 

“Lindsay, how many ways do we all need to tell you that, this is your chance to forge a path.” Mel tells her.

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