BRITIN

LINDSAY

We were driving to the place Brian wanted for Justin. I never understood why Brian picked a place so far from everything that once mattered to him. I know I didn’t like what Brian was doing, but it was more not understanding that Brian changed. He was no longer willing to live in Neverland, because the real Wendy left. Justin wasn’t like Michael and I, who loved the things Brian dared we never could. Justin wanted Brian not Peter, and for once Brian wanted something other than Neverland. It scared me, he was leaving behind the life I lived vicariously through Brian. I know I made it seem like I wanted more from Brian, but he was doing the things I never could. He didn’t worry what anyone thought of what he was doing, and for all my bohemian lifestyle, I still cared how people viewed me. Sometimes I lived through Justin, he didn’t let people tell him who he could be or what he was capable of. He always accomplished what he wanted, and got Brian to follow behind his lead.

I looked as this house came into view and it took my breath away, why did I ever think I knew Brian?

MEL

I looked at the house and thought ‘shit that is going to cost the boys a lot in maintenance’. Not that either of them would worry about that. It must have had Justin thinking Brian had lost his mind to buy this to keep him. I could see Lindsay was at a loss when we pulled up, it’s the house she always wished for, but it was what Brian gave to someone he loved more than Wendy.

“I never knew him.” She tells me.

“What do you mean?” I ask, staring at the house.

“I thought he was changing everything because of what happened at Babylon.” She tells me.

“What do you think now?” I ask.

“I think what I did was wrong. I butted in thinking I was saving them from a mistake.” She tells me.

“By telling them Justin should leave?” I ask.

“No. By going behind Justin’s back and getting Brian to make him go.” She tells me, wincing when she told me what I had sort of guessed over the years.

“Justin knew why you did it.” I tell her.

“Why do you think that?” She asks me.

“I saw the way he reacted to you the first time we saw him after we all left Pittsburgh. Before, Justin would be sharing what was going on with his art with you. When he came with Brian for Gus’s birthday, he barely mentioned to you what he was doing. I got the feeling he was angry at you, not that I knew why or even asked him.” I tell her.

“Why didn’t you?” She asks.

“I just didn’t like the idea that you, in a way, wanted Justin and Brian apart. It’s always been one of my insecurities, that Brian meant more to you.” I tell her.

“I know part of it was the way I made it seem like Brian couldn’t function without me. It’s just, I see this and know I never knew Brian the way Justin did. I wanted to keep Peter, when Peter was becoming Brian, who belongs only to Justin.” She tells me.

“Is that all you see when you look at that house?” I ask her.

“It’s a beautiful house, one that could only belong to the prince of Brian’s dreams. You helped us pick a house for us. What do you see?” She asks me.

“I see lots of maintenance.” I tell her seriously, as she dissolves into laughter.

BEN

“You think they’ll at least look at my pictures?” Michael grumbles.

“I think bringing four photo albums is excessive.” Jenny tells him.

“It was just that there was so much to see, I wanted everyone to experience it with us.” He tells her.

“Daddy, there’s experience, and then there’s taking a picture of a rock.” Jenny giggles.

When we got back, Michael was impatient to get home and see how Jenny and Hunter survived without him. Then it was checking to see what Mary thought of using Britin for the wedding. Which had him calling Justin to make sure Mary and Dean could come over to see the house. Which led to Deb being called and told about the offer. When he was done he ran out to get the photos developed. He still can’t get used to uploading it to the computer, saying it doesn’t really make photos as real when you can edit out mistakes. Justin told me it’s just a change in the world Michael was unwilling to accept.

We pulled in behind the girls and got our first view of the house. It made me want to ask Brian what caused him to pick this house out of all the houses he could have chosen. It’s a house that Brian would normally sneer at.

MICHAEL

Jenny got out and ran to the front door. I looked and decided to thank Brian for picking a house that could hold all the people we needed to invite. I looked at Ben, who was looking at the house like it held some secret to life.

“At least it’s big enough for what Hunter needs.” I tell him.

“Is that all you see when you look at the house?” He asks.

“It’s what Justin wanted.” I shrug.

“Why do you say that?” I ask him.

“When Justin told me Brian bought him a house, he was worried that the only reason Brian did it was because he thought it was what Justin wanted. I had to remind Justin that Brian didn’t do shit unless he wanted to. After that, Justin stopped seeing the house as Brian’s reaction to what happened at Babylon.” He tells me.

“You always manage to surprise me with things.” He tells me.

“Like what?” I ask, confused.

“Like not barging here to see the house, or how you and Justin managed to become friends. For a long time, I didn’t think you could put aside your friendship with Brian to see Justin for who he was.” He tells me.

“He was a brat who got what I wanted, it took a few years for me to stop being jealous of that person Brian fell in love with. It wasn't until Brian punched my ass out that I realized it was never going to be me.” He tells me.

“I wouldn’t have picked your ass up if I had known why he did it, but why did that make you see it?” I ask.

“Brian isn’t prone to violence, and me saying what I did brought that out in him. I knew at that point there was only one person Brian loved, and I was going to be the loser if I didn't accept Justin’s place in Brian’s life. It helped me see what I was doing to you too, by treating Brian as if he meant more to me. He just didn't get me the way you do, or make me feel the way you do.” He tells me.

“How do I make you feel?” I ask, loving him more than ever.

“Complete.” He kisses me getting out and yelling to Justin. “The backyard better be more impressive than the house!”

“It's always weird how they get along.” Lindsay tells me as we walk towards the house.

“I always thought Justin was who Michael admired.” I tell her.

“Not Brian?” She asks.

“No, Brian was who Michael loved, waiting for me.” I tell her, knowing it was the truth.

JUSTIN

I finally hired Emmett for Hunter. Michael and Mary wouldn't get the wedding planned before next year if we left it to them. Lindsay came in, grabbing Brian to give her a tour. Gus followed, rolling his eyes at his mother. Mel let me drag her to my studio to show her what I'd been working on. My mother, as usual, played hostess for us.

“Justin, is there a reason you don’t show Lindsay anything?” She asks me.

“She sees my stuff.” I tell her.

“I know she sometimes feels like you disclude her from all of this.” She tells me.

“It’s not because I want to, it’s just that I don’t need her thinking she can tell me what I need.” I tell her.

“She told me in the car when we got here, what she did.” She tells me.

“It wasn’t like I didn’t know I had to eventually leave Pittsburgh. She came in, making it sound like I was going to miss the opportunity of a lifetime by being with Brian. You sort of implied the same thing to me. It’s just, you stopped when you knew it was my decision. She went to Brian behind my back and had him acting like a shit to me to make me go. I did what I knew would keep him from tossing me over a cliff. It’s the one time I didn’t fight for what I really wanted, and I wanted to blame Lindsay, but I know part of me wanted to see if I could do it on my own. Which also meant I couldn’t let Lindsay be a part of what I was doing. What she did sucked, but in a way it also made me realize that I couldn’t lean on her, if I wanted to say I made it without help.” I tell her.

“You did, but I never doubted you.” She tells me, looking at my newest stuff. “You always leave me feeling like I know everything about the subjects you paint.” She tells me.

“When I met Elaine, I saw how I want my life eventually. She’s surrounded by love and loves Bradley even more now than the day she married him. It’s a love we all aspire too.” I tell her.

“And few people find. I know for a long time I saw what happens when the love you once felt is gone. It’s something I hated about family law, which really should have been called anti-family law, since it’s the reason people came to me.” She tells me.

“Why didn’t you ever change fields? Watching people destroy the family they once loved, had to be hard to watch.” I tell her, grabbing a sketch pad and sitting her on a stool.

“I wanted to help people not lose everything. I hated how, when one of the cases I was working on became more of a show than a case of who was best for the kids. It actually took Brian telling me that I was acting like it was personal to me, when they chose a straight man to represent them with the work I did. Then listening to Ted tell me to accept the things I can’t control.” She tells me.

“The serenity prayer?” I ask.

“It really made me see that they were doing what was best for them, and it was my pride getting in the way.” She tells me.

“Did it really help you feel better?” Justin asks.

“No, but helped me to see that law was as big of a game as politics. It’s never about who was right or wrong, but perception. I should have learned that when your case came up.” She tells me.

“It was who had the most influence, Hobbs family could make me or Brian sound how they wanted. I had to get past letting Hobbs change who I was. I stopped letting him control me, by succeeding when he didn’t. He’s still working for his family as a foreman, I’ve done everything I ever wanted to.” I tell her.

“I want to fight for people who get shafted because of people like the Hobbs.” She tells me.

“Then do it.” I kiss her, throwing my pad on her lap.

“How do you do it, make us look so different?” She says tracing the sketch.

“I didn’t, that was you talking about your passion.” I tell her.

I walked out with Mel, when Shelby comes over and hands me the box I asked for. I let Shelby walk off with Mel and went to my room with it. I opened it to see the first sketch I did of Brian, looking under it I found receipts from a hospital, and a ticket to California, dated for when I was there. I sat there staring at the receipts, because Michael told me Brian planned to see me but changed his mind when he thought I wasn’t coming back. Brian walked in sat next to me.

“I always liked that picture.” He tells me.

“I guess so. Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask.

“I didn’t tell you things because it showed you things I wasn’t ready for you to know.” He tells me, laying back.

“You were at the hospital, why keep the proof?” I ask, sitting on top of him.

“I figured, one day when I died, your little romantic heart could have something to see how much your ass meant to me.” He smirks.

“Please, all I have to do is lean back to know that.” I tease him.

“I always planned to tell you.” He tells me.

“I think sometimes there are secrets we never tell, but only because we didn’t do what we did for any reason other than because we love each other.” I tell him, leaning over to kiss him.

“Ignore the two of them, they can’t spend two minutes unless they’re all over each other.” Michael says to Mary from the door.

“MICHAEL!” Brian growls.