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BRIAN


It was strange to see the things the twins had been showing me in my dreams. The paintings were all moments of sadness and happiness for us. The fireflies with the twins happened on the day when Gus and Jenny started to feel the loss of Lindsay and Mel. The girls called everyday and visited every chance they could, but Mel’s career required her to be other places more often than not. At first Lindsay still worked for Justin, but eventually came to see him and told him Mel needed a wife beside her when she met with politicians and supporters of the work Mel was doing. So she quit to live the life she’d been raised to live. Which meant the visits slacked off, to what Lindsay convinced me would work when they left for Canada. The whole time before the girls were leaving, Gus and Jenny were only seeing being able to stay with their fathers, not that they weren’t going to have Mel and Lindsay there everyday. Justin and Michael were worried about Jenny and Gus when the girls had to go overseas and wouldn’t be there visiting for a month. They decided to have everyone over at Deb’s like old times for a family gathering, hoping to cheer up Gus and Jenny.


We were driving home after everyone stuffed themselves, when Justin asked me to stop. On the side of the road, in a field, there were hundreds of fireflies, and Justin let the boys and Gus go running in the field while he took pictures of them surrounded. Gus forgot about his mothers, too busy trying to catch a firefly to show Brent and Jamie. The painting became the boys standing next to Gus, excited and hero worshipping Gus’s ability to catch an insect. After the painting was finished, Gus told Justin that he stopped feeling bad for himself, because his mothers were the ones missing out on what having a family was like.


It took Justin a long time to see what the girls did as anything but selfish. He asked me why I never got pissed about them leaving the kids behind.


“They didn’t take Gus. Which meant for once he didn’t have to suffer for their wants and needs. Do I think what they did was selfish, yes. But for once, instead of Gus or Jenny giving up everything, Mel and Lindsay are on the other side of what they did to the kids. They had to sacrifice something for what they wanted, and one day they're going to look around them and find a place that you saved me from, a life of emptiness.” I tell him.


The day on the mountain was a way to celebrate Justin and Ben’s birthdays. What the boys had never let me see was the real reason for the trip, a celebration that Ben was still with us. It started during the winter, Ben caught a cold from Michael and Jenny. As the weeks progressed it kept getting worse, until Ben was no longer responding to any treatment. Michael was losing it, and no one, not even me, could get him to listen. Deb called to say Michael had left the hospital and no one could find him. The gang got together to find him. Hunter called his phone Michael style, and no answer. It was almost a week later when I got a phone call from Ethan. Ethan had been in New York playing with the symphony, and just wanted to let us know, Michael was there, completely shit faced. To say that none of the gang was thrilled that he chose to get drunk instead of stay by Ben’s side was an understatement. Justin called his mother to watch the kids and planned to bring the runaway home. I refused to go, because it pissed me off he could be that selfish when his children and Ben needed him to be the strong one. Instead Justin and I were there to make sure Jenny didn’t blame herself, and to keep Hunter from seeing this as a burden Shelby would have in the future. I only went to kick Hunter’s ass when he said he wasn’t going to have children because he never wanted his children to see this. When Ben opened his eyes and asked where Michael was, I bought the tickets to bring the shit home for Ben.


Ethan was waiting for Justin and I when we arrived, stopping me from charging in there, angry at Michael.


“He scared Brian, the doctors started saying it might be time to make decisions. He didn’t want to sign to end Ben’s life. He knows what he did was wrong, but he’s blaming himself for Ben getting sick in the first place.” Ethan told us.


“He has children who need him, and a husband who woke up. So he needs to be there, not here getting wasted.” I tell Ethan.


“Brian this is Michael, when he can’t handle something he avoids it. He leaves you and Deb to clean up the mess and then him. He needs you to help him through this.” Justin tells me.


Justin invited Ethan to go with him for coffee, leaving me to once again pick Mikey up and make him deal with his fears. I found Michael staring at the ceiling and pushed aside all the scathing words that I wanted to say and laid down next to him as he cried, thinking we were here to tell him Ben died.


“He’s asking where you are.” I tell Michael.


“What?” Michael asks.


“Ben. He managed to beat the doctor's dire prediction and wake up. While you were here replaying me when Justin left me, Ben decided staying alive was worth putting up with being married to you.” I tell him.


Michael didn’t want to waste any time getting back to Ben, only we had to wait for Justin and Ethan to get back. “By the way, thanks for giving Ethan a reason to hang out with Justin.” I joke.


We got back, and like in the past, everyone forgot they were angry at Michael. I let it go when Ben asked me to, saying everyone does stupid things when they think they’ve lost the person they love. Michael nursed Ben until he was healthy again. When Justin and Ben’s birthday rolled around we decided to climb a fucking mountain to show some life journey shit Ben believed in. Only when we got to the top, I saw my sons standing there, overlooking the world below us. The rest of the gang was praying the trip down would be easier. Justin was busy capturing the moment when Ben and Michael reached the top, so I took the picture of what he would paint as part of our journey.  


The End.
starlight is the author of 43 other stories.
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