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Author's Chapter Notes:

This is a shorter chapter with only one scene but I hope it's satisfying!! ENJOY!!!    

The room was dark when he woke up. Eyes closed he still could still feel the pleasant soreness throughout his body from loving his partner from the minute they reached home. Both couldn't get the door open fast enough; couldn't fall into the house soon enough. They'd fucked standing in the doorway, against the wall...on the floor right, there in the foyer. His knees and back ached a little but he wouldn't have traded a second of the discomfort for all the money in the world. Nothing could compare to the fulfillment of being wrapped by and inside of Justin. To hear him and feel him take what he wanted while giving himself totally was what Brian dared not ever dream of or hope to have...yet he had it and he'd be damned if he'd let anyone take it from him.

The empty side of the bed was still warm from Justin's body heat, the pillow still dented where his head had rested. Brian laid there silently listening to discern where in the huge house Justin might have gone. Nothing. The bathroom light was on yet he could smell Justin's soap he used when showering as if it were right under his nose. Getting up quickly- perhaps a little too quick based on the protest of his bones- he threw on the silk robe which had fallen to the floor when they finally made it to bed. The downstairs of the house was silent and still as he walked through. The doors were locked, something Justin must have thought to do before they went up. All Brian could think of was getting him into bed to start the game all over again. The subtle waft of cigarette smoke pointed him to the studio upstairs. Why he didn't think to look there he would never understand or why he had a sudden panicked feeling from not finding Justin downstairs.


Grabbing two glasses from the cabinet in the kitchen and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue, he headed up the three flights of stairs. The door was open, the custom built horizontal easel dominating the large space. Brian hadn't been in there since he'd bought the last painting Justin did of the two of them in Toronto. It was of Brian sleeping, hand splayed wide over a white satin pillow while Justin stood in the corner watching- a mixture of pleasure and pain in his cerulean eyes. Brian would never forget the first time he'd seen it being displayed in a gallery in SoHo while he was in New York on business. It caught him off guard seeing himself on canvas but more of the surprise was the expression on Justin's face which drove him to charge into the gallery and have it shipped immediately. It was the beginning of the decision which led to where they were; the beginning of the acknowledgement that Brian could not live without Justin. He could breathe but that wasn't living. That was existing. Upon returning from New York, he'd spent many hours staring at the painting, making decisions, arguing with himself, fighting urges and ultimately giving into them. But the payoff was well worth it since Justin was in their house.


Placing the items in his hand softly on the surface relatively the size of a table to seat six, Brian stood just watching Justin work. He'd updated the programming but kept the computer Brian bought him so many years ago when the incident first happened. It gave Brian a twinge of pleasure to know he'd kept it and still used it. He never would have guessed it because of Justin's penchant for updated electronics. Brian smiled inwardly at the fact that he also had the same obsession with gadgets. After it was finished he knew Justin would print two copies-one for himself and one for Lindsey- to get the proposal for Avlossa done and transferred to the boards later. He wasn't worried about it. Even from what Brian could see of the presentation already it would be good but he was more concerned with the tense set of Justin's shoulders. Justin always said Brian had a remarkable gift for looking beneath the surface of his work to get to the issues plaguing him. It was true. Brian could always see what Justin was feeling through his work, reading the brushstrokes the way someone would decipher Morse code. And right then, Brian knew Justin's mind was somewhere other than on his work.


He exposed the nape of Justin's neck placing a soft kiss there, smiled at the slight hitch of breath Justin gave. He loved how responsive and unabashed Justin was. He applied a little nip at the top of his spine and relished the soft deep moan released. "What's on your mind, Sunshine?" He asked low, nipping him again.


"Just working," Justin answered, dropping his head forward to give Brian better access.


He nipped again and laved the spot while caressing Justin's the soft skin covering Justin's ribcage. "Liar." Brian felt Justin smile against his bowed head as he trailed his lips around to Justin's pulse, feeling the slow but steady tempo of it against his tongue. "Full-disclosure, remember?" Justin spun around on the office chair as Brian knelt before him, visually drinking him in. He'd always thought Justin beauiful but there in the dim lighting of the computer monitor and the colors playing over his features, he'd never felt more so. Vulnerable was a word very few would ever associate with who Justin Taylor was now as opposed to who he was as a teenager-and back then it was visible only at the rarest times. The usually chrystal clear sparkle of Justin's eyes were clouded with emotions some of which Brian had seen often, others never. "C'mon, Justin, what is it?"


"Just couldn't sleep. Had a lot on my mind but I don't want to talk about it, Brian. I'd rather fuck." He kissed Brian quickly but before Justin could take it further Brian pushed him away gently.


"Are you thinking about the meeting?"


"Amongst other things," Justin said. He shook his head. "I would rather not talk just now."


"Well too bad and too late, Sunshine," Brian said smiling slightly. "You asked me for honesty. I've given you that; more than I've ever given anyone. So shouldn't you give me the same?" He bent his head to recapture Justin's eyes which slipped deliberately from his own. "Tell me what's going through that little blond head of yours."


Justin sighed heavily, handing Brian his cell phone in the process. He reached up to scratch his forehead while pulling his hair back in frustration. "You know the passcode, so open it."


Brian did as Justin said and was surprised to find twenty messages all from the same person. Ethan. All but one were still closed although the way his and Justin's phones were set up, the message could be read without even accessing the messaging application. Based on Justin's look, he'd seen every one of them. Brian opened each one beginning with the one Justin had gotten during the meeting.


Ethan: You're still MY MUSE!


Ethan: I can't function without you.


Ethan: I love you.


Ethan: Why are you ignoring me?


Ethan: What's wrong with you?


Ethan: Why are you with him again?


Ethan: You didn't learn your lesson from the last time?


Ethan: LOL you're just a glutton for punishment, aren't you?


Ethan: He's just going to fuck you over again.


Ethan: Come back to me. Please.


Ethan: I want you back.


Ethan: I'll do anything to have you back.


Ethan: I'm sorry.


Ethan: C'mon Justin. Answer me!


Ethan: Remember when you promised you wouldn't leave me? Now who lied?


Ethan: You once said it wasn't about the money. ‘Fuck the money. I only want to be with you.' You lied then too!


Ethan: He doesn't love you. I DO!


Ethan: We were always so good together.


Ethan: You're ONLY good for a fuck to him.


Ethan: What if he wasn't here anymore? Then what? Then will you come back to me?


Brian read all of it, glancing at Justin's face ever so often to gauge his reactions. Anger and desperation reached out from the text messages and into the person who sat still before him, eyes still downcast. Brian placed the phone gently on the desk after locking the screen. He reached for his right hand which Justin gripped tightly within his left. Brian knew he was replaying all the events of that time gone by in his head and linking every word of the text messages together. When Justin closed his eyes and reopened them there were tears and confusion.


It's a long road but it's longer without you


And with each passing day, I grow more uncertain


Been away for so long, but I'm dying just to find out


What took you so long to come back around


If I'd only been dreaming, you weren't always hiding


It took two to break us down*


"What do you want, Justin?" Brian didn't want to ask the question but he had to know.


"You, Brian. It's always been you."


"So if you know that, what's the real problem?"


"I wonder if there is more truth to those texts than what I've told myself."


"It's the past, Justin, and we were both stupid assholes then. Why should that effect what we have going now?" Brian shook his hands forcing Justin to look at him. When he did, Brian touched his face, gratified when Justin leaned into it automatically. "What do you want to do? And this is strictly about you, Justin, not me and not us."


He watched Justin search for the answers within himself; sitting quietly while Justin unraveled whatever conflicting feelings he had at that moment. Brian didn't doubt that Justin was staying with him. This whole emotional journey Justin was going through was one of self-forgiveness. Brian knew because he'd had to go through the same process before deciding that he could not and would not live without Justin Taylor again. But it was something only Justin could do. It wasn't about Ethan or anyone else...just Justin.


"What if he was right, Brian? You were my security blanket for a long time."


"And now? Am I still your security blanket now? If there was anywhere else in the world you could be-"


Justin answered immediately. "I would still be here, Brian but this isn't about that."


"Then what?"


"What if I turn out to be the liar he called me? Look- the last thing I want to do is hurt you...again. I think I've done enough of that in all these years."


Could you prove me wrong?*


"There was hurt on both sides, Justin."


He smiled slightly. "Yes but this isn't about what you've done to me but the other way around. I apologize for it."


"Sorry's-"


"Bullshit, I know." He smiled. "But it doesn't mean I shouldn't say it. I love you, you know."


"Yeah, I do."


"How?" Justin chuckled.


"Well for one you let me fuck you how ever many times I want," Brian said smiling.


"Yeah but that benefits me, too," Justin retorted quickly. "So seriously, how?"


"You picked your whole life up and moved back here to be with me yet you didn't sacrifice a fucking thing to do it. But are some other things I want from you."


"What free rein of my mouth and ass isn't enough?" Justin joked and Brian poked him in the ribs right where he was ticklish.


"Those are always welcome and we'll get to filling those again in a minute." Justin looked at him and Brian mentally breathed a sigh of relief. The sparkle was back- even if it was just for a little while.


"Okay," Justin said, shrugging his bare shoulder.


"Okay to what? I haven't made my demands yet." Brian slid his hands up the softest and silkiest pajama bottoms he'd ever felt Justin wear. The midnight blue material was warm with his body heat and they felt almost as good against Brian's palm as Justin did...almost.


"Whatever you want," Justin said, running his hands through Brian's hair.


"Whatever I want, huh? You do know that's a dangerous offer you're making." Brian barely stopped the moan escaping behind a hard swallow as Justin dug his nails into his scalp just right. God I love it when he does that and then he... Justin pulled his hair back with the right amount of pressure and bit softly into Brian's neck. He couldn't help but release the groan which sounded loud and deep in the semi-dark room.


"H'm-mm," Justin whispered against his neck. "Whatever you want."


"Marry me then," Brian said. The sudden stillness at his neck and within himself shocked him as much as it apparently did Justin.


"What did you say?" Justin looked into his eyes.


"You said I could have whatever I want and I want that. I want you to marry me."


"Brian, I-"


"This is the third time I'm asking, Justin." He met his eyes steadily.


"You're fucking unbelievable," Justin shook his head.


"I thought we'd already established that."


Justin chuckled. "To me we're already married, Brian and have been for years regardless of the years of separation. It's why whenever I tried to move on, I couldn't. So I stopped trying and now here we are and it's right, Brian- finally fucking right. We live together, we're in each others' face, place and space. We're good how we are."


"Okay so the answer is ‘no' then," Brian said moving to get up.


Meet me in the middle


Tell me something


That could change my mind*


"You didn't let me finish," Justin said pulling him back down and holding his face. "We've never been about locks on the doors, Brian. I may not want a ceremony- a dinner party maybe to celebrate the commitment- but I don't ever want to have to go through what Mel and Lindz are going through. So we'll wear our rings but honestly I think my soul married yours long before you asked the first two times. My soul married you when I was a lost seventeen year old looking for love in a very wrongplace." They both smiled at the last.


"Are you sure you want to leave the door open, Justin?"


I couldn't let it be known this is the deal


Every time I refuse to say goodbye*


Justin thought a moment. "I don't consider it leaving the door open unless one of us chooses to fly away. I'm not going anywhere and I know you're not. We've fought too hard to get here. And who knows maybe someday soon we'll want to seal the door shut and hot glue that bitch closed forever but it will be because we're both sure that it's what we want. Yeah, it's legal here now and that's great but a piece of paper won't change who we've always been and who we are now. You already own everything I have on earth but most importantly you own my heart. Why the sudden need for the title? You've always been my husband, my forever and nothing is going to change that. Not hell, not the high water and certainly not Ethan or whatever else comes against us. I love you, Brian Kinney. Only you. Always you. You're my focus and my distraction, the heart of me, the soul of me and everything that makes me strong and weak at the same time. No piece of paper is going to change that at least not for me. But if you should get tired-"


"I won't, Justin. I won't get tired of you. Angry yes. Sick of your griping and fussing, absolutely but never you. You've been it for me for a...long time." Brian kissed him gently. "So for better or worse?"


Justin kissed him more deeply before pulling back. "In sickness and health."


Brian kissed him even deeper, standing and bringing Justin with him. He wrapped one arm solidly around his waist while using the other to grip Justin's hair just the way he liked it. Hearing the soft moan he sought, Brian ran his tongue over the hot spot in Justin's neck before saying, "For richer and richer. We don't do poor."


Justin laughed. "As long as it's mutually beneficial for both of us."


"Ah- forever then," Brian said as he fell backward onto the couch, Justin on top of him. "So how do you want to spend your honeymoon?"


Justin smiled down at him and once again Brian thought he'd never see anything more beautiful. "I thought it was kind of obvious seeming how you're naked under this robe."


He untied the sash holding it together and Brian nearly moaned at the feeling of the silk pajamas against his bare legs. He and Justin were always hedonists and the only thing more enjoyable than feeling silk sliding on his skin was sliding into Justin. He was more than ready to do that. Instead his back bowed at the sudden feeling of his dick fully enclosed in Justin's hot mouth. As usual Justin wasted no time getting Brian to the brink before backing off and building his orgasm again and again. Somewhere in the midst of the foreplay which had him gasping for his next breath, he realized Justin had tied his hair back giving Brian an unobstructed view of his cock disappearing into the cavity of Justin's mouth over and over. He wanted to close his eyes to heighten the sensation but couldn't bear to look away. "God," he muttered as he watched Justin hollow his cheeks and felt the strong steady pulls from the rhythmic sucking action. He licked Brian from base to tip before taking the plunge again. Fuck! He was gonna come. I'm gonna come if Justin does that one more fucking time. As if Justin heard him, he raised himself up on top of Brian, shoving his tongue down his throat. The taste of himself in Justin's mouth drove him closer to the brink with each passing stroke of their tongues dueling.


Justin slid the condom onto Brian's cock, sitting up only long enough to poise himself over it. The wicked smile on his face mesmerized Brian briefly before Justin spoke. "Tell me again."


"Tell you what?" Brian asked gripping Justin's thigh's trying to force him down onto his cock.


"You know what I want to hear while I'm sitting on your dick, Brian."


Brian did but he said instead, "Sit on it and then we'll see what comes out of my mouth." He bit his bottom lip in the he knew made Justin even lustier than he already was. Fuck! I'm the luckiest son of a bitch.


"Fine have it your way," Justin said with a smirk on his lips. Brian knew what that little gesture meant and his body tingled in anticipation. Justin wasn't going to go easy or gentle.


"Do your worse," Brian issued the challenge.


"Remember you said that when it's time for you to go to work in the morning." And Justin sank down easy, adjusting until Brian was all the way encased within him.


He sat a moment, the ecstasy plainly written on his face; another sight Brian would never get tired of. Brian tried to move into him further but Justin sat him such a way where he didn't have even the slightest leverage unless Justin gave it to him. He didn't look like he was in the mood to turn over the reins. Justin could top from the bottom as well as when he the dominant with a submissive. He clenched his ass around Brian's dick, squeezing to the point where Brian had no choice but to cry out. "Say it."


"I-" was all he was able to say before Justin squeezed again forcing another moan, louder and stronger that time.


Justin reached back, massaging his prostate from the outside. Goddamn. "Tell me, Brian, and I'll fuck you so fucking good." He leaned forward, licking Brian's bottom lip. He whispered against the wet spot, "I'm ready to, you know. I'm ready to ride you...hard. So fucking hard you'll barely be able to stand to pee." He wiggled then raised his ass and slamming it back down just to prove his point. They both trembled from the force and Justin's ass rippled around his dick again. "See? You gonna keep us waiting until you say it." Justin said breathlessly.


"Love you," Brian said on a whoosh of breath.


"Say it again." And Brian did I Justin moved up and slammed back down, grinding against him.


It became a mantra Brian couldn't stop saying even as Justin groaned and moaned at the feel of Brian gripping his hips and slamming him down even harder. Justin moved faster then slowed down when he felt Brian close to coming. He was completely at Justin's mercy and he loved every fucking second of it. Justin pulled him up by the back of his neck, long enough to kiss him roughly before pushing him hard back down on the sofa to begin riding him hard again. Justin swallowed every grunt and groan which Brian uttered, twining his tongue sensually around inside Brian's mouth. Brian smacked Justin's ass causing a yelp and the momentary stop steady breathing coming from his partner. "Oh, you like that, don't you?" Brian taunted as Justin rode him faster and harder.


"H'm-mm...Fuck yeah. Do it again," Justin moaned. Brian kept applying his firm hand even as Justin came down harder on him. He took his other hand and massaged Justin's cock and watched as Justin's hair came loose. He reached up briefly to snatch the rubber band off, digging his fingers into Justin's hair the way he liked. When Justin muttered, "Oh God," Brian pulled by his hair, mashing their lips together. The kiss was violent and passionate. I will never fucking get tired of this. Justin moaned heavily into his mouth when Brian squeezed a nipple, while still stroking his cock. "Brian-"


"Say my fucking name again," Brian growled against the plush lips. Justin did and Brian kept making him say it again and again, even as he felt his orgasm barreling through him. "God. Justin. I'm.." And then the explosion of climax happened. He felt like he lost consciousness for a second yet he was fully aware even as Justin's body stilled above him and he heard that long breathless gasp and the roughly sighed 'Ahh' that heralded his lover's release. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest and he could feel Justin's beating the same pulse-pounding rhythm on the other side. "I really do you know," Brian said breathless and low.


"You really do what?" Justin asked lazily while Brian was still inside him. Brian mentally chuckled. He always did love falling asleep with Brian lodged inside him. He suspected it only happened with him...no one else. Intimacy wasn't something Justin did with everyone, much like Brian himself. He may have discussed mundane things and joked around but he couldn't imagine Justin exposing his vulnerabilities the way he had with Brian to anyone else.


Brian nudged Justin's head out from under his jaw-also Justin's favorite place on his body-and held his head still until those beautiful blue stared down at him. "I love you, Justin Taylor-Kinney. Only you. Always you. Then and Now." He kissed Justin gently at the admission and relished the beauty of his Sunshine's smile. Foreheads together and exhausted, they fell asleep together for the first time as husband and husband- if not on paper then at least in their hearts.


 Meet Me In The Middle- Jessie Ware & Dave Okumu*

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