"You look particularly enchanting today, Dr. Chanders." And she was as she always had to him. He heard her shocked gasp of surprise just before she turned around to face him. Daphne Chanders was as bright-eyed and intelligent as she ever was and Brian was so fucking happy to see her doing so well for herself. She and Justin had been best friends since the days of grade school and she looked like she hadn't aged a day.         

"Brian!" She jumped on him shamelessly, clipboard and all, locking him in a vice grip. "What are you doing here? It's been a long time. Is Justin with you? Wait! You're not sick are you?"

He hugged her back reveling in the familiar feel of the fastest talking female he'd ever met. He couldn't help but chuckle remembering exactly how they met. Justin was living with him then having left home due to his homophobic father, Craig. Brian had been oversleeping when he heard Justin and some loud, almost squeaky voice in the kitchen. He remembered opening the door naked as the day he was born and the shocked yet intrigued look on young Daphne's face even as she reluctantly looked away. It was one of those moments he would always remember with humor and longing. They became true friends that day despite their age difference and whenever Justin was in trouble, she came to him. Now he was in trouble and he needed her. 

"No, I'm not sick. I came to see you and no, Justin isn't with me. In fact he doesn't even know I'm here," He answered her. "Do you have time to grab coffee?"

"Sure. I have one more patient to see and then I'm free for a little bit. There's a park across the street so you can wait there. I know you hate being in here so it must be pretty serious," she said looking him in the eyes as if examining him. 

"Go play doctor and I'll be outside," he said laughingly. He watched her hurry down the hall, disappearing into the room at the end of it.

Stepping out into the sunshine which was partially shaded by the huge buildings, he took a deep breath. Even though it was stifling with the August heat, it was still better than inside. Daphne was not wrong about his aversion to hospitals. It had been eleven years since he'd set foot into the last one; the same one Michael had been in the night of the bombing of Babylon at the "Stop Prop 14" benefit when he'd nearly lost his life. Prior to that, it was for his own surgery for Testicular Cancer, which is still in remission.  Ben had nearly loss his life because of pancreatitis--a side effect of his HIV medication. Michael had called Brian to help him through his meltdown. But the worst time was fifteen years ago when he had almost lost Justin thanks to a homophobic teen. 

Brian sat heavily on the park bench remembering the fear, the heartbreak and the guilt. Even all these years later, he remembered everything vividly. He arrived at Justin's prom unexpectedly wearing his Armani tux with a white silk scarf around his neck. Daphne had seen him first so he stood there waiting until Justin noticed him. It was easier to pretend shock at finding him in the vast sea of hormonal teens. When Justin said to him, "I thought you wouldn't be caught dead in room full of eighteen year olds," Brian had smoothly replied, 'I thought I'd recapture my lost youth,' his intentions were sealed in that moment. They'd danced and it felt like they were the only two people in the room. When they kissed it felt like nothing Brian had ever felt before. Whisking him away, Brian kissed him even more thoroughly, untying Justin's tie in the process. Down in the parking lot, they had danced around, sung with Brian swirling Justin around and capturing him when he sang "and in whose arms you're gonna be." It was magical and fun. Ridiculously romantic. It was their moment. He kissed Justin a final time, said "Later" and watched happily as Justin left him to return to the prom. Only he never returned to his rite of passage. Brian closed his eyes to the memory of the bashing, resulting in some of the worst moments of his life.               

"Must be some daydream you're having, Brian," Daphne's voice thankfully woke him up from the more bitter than sweet memory.          

"Yeah but it's over. Ready to go? Starbucks?"        

"Nope. I prefer some place a little more quiet," She answered cheerily. Her chipper attitude rubbed off a little on him and he couldn't help but smile. It still amazed him that with all her inherent optimism she became a surgeon.

Arriving at a little hole-in-the-wall coffee shop about three blocks from the hospital, he almost hesitated to go in but she promised him Starbucks would taste like mud compared to the coffee at Stapletons. Giving the barista a single wave, the robust lady shuffled right over. "Dr. Chanders, you're a little early today," the lady said while eying Brian up and down a little frown creasing her forehead.

Daphne laughed. "Calm down, Myrna. This is my very good friend, Brian and he's gay."

Myrna visibly relaxed. "Well in that case what can I get you?"

Brian had started to place his order when Daphne interrupted. "Triple Nonfat Latte for him and a tall Hazelnut with a shot of espresso for me." At Brian's raised eyebrow she said, "Whatever you're about to say, I know I'm going to need the extra dose of caffeine." Grabbing their drinks, they moved to the last booth in the long line of window seats. "So what was so important you had to seek me out? Speaking of which, how the hell did you find me anyway? There are like one-hundred-ten hospitals in the City."

Brian took a long drought of the latte. He had to admit it was better than Starbucks--piping hot and rich. Daphne knew what she was talking about. He sank into the comfortable seating a little deeper, staring out the window for a few moments watching busy New Yorkers go about their lives. He looked up when he felt the slight touch on his hand. Daphne had been watching him so taking a deep breath, he figured it was time to tell her everything.

"I arrived in New York last night and had the hotel manager, Oliver call around to find you. He told me where you were and now I'm here. I need your advice or help. Really a healthy measure of both."

"Well as long as it's not illegal or killing someone through venipuncture or cutting them up to put in a freezer, you have it. My name's not Dexter, you know," Daphne answered.

They burst out laughing. "Geez Daph, you've become gory in your old age," Brian said as he continued to chuckle.

"Kinda goes with the job. So spill! What's going on with you?"

"I want to make things more...permanent with Justin." At her surprised look he said, "I know. Ted has already informed me that I've taken long enough to make up my mind. It wasn't that. He and I have both been busy to the point of hardly speaking for months at a time." 

"Yet you two have found time to fuck every two years over the past ten years," she answered with a little smirk on her lips. She picked the coffee up and took a sip all innocent like.

"I shouldn't be surprised you know about our arrangement. How much more do you know?"

"Enough to know that you two are the most successful, absolute idiots I know."

Brian laughed. "Your honesty is so refreshing, Daphne." He sobered and took a sip of his drink trying to get his racing thoughts under control. "Look, I know I'm risking a lot but..."

"Yeah you are. I have to tell you this. Whereas you're ready, he may not be."

"Why not? I know that our timing has always been off but this time I think we could make it work for real," Brian said.

"Oh--I know you could, Brian," Daphne assured him. "I've never met two people who are more right for each other than the two of you. You hand him bullshit and he throws it right back to you. You both challenge each other. You make each other better. I also know that after you two meet, Justin withdraws into himself for a time. Consequently, his work which is always impeccable transforms into something well beyond that. If you go the the gallery on Fifth, you'll understand what I mean."

"So you're saying being with me would hurt his work?" Brian asked suddenly feeling a little dejected.

Daphne shook her head. "I'm not saying that at all. Let me ask you something...how are you the year after you and Justin part ways?" 

He thought back to his most recent conversation with Ted. The constant need to work to keep from thinking was always to the forefront of his mind. It was an incurable restless feeling. Yet when he was with Justin, he didn't feel that way. He was relaxed, at ease with everything. He didn't think about their parting until the day of and as soon as Justin was out of sight, the anxious feelings returned with a vengeance. He couldn't sit still, would work to the point of exhaustion so his body wouldn't crave anything--so he wouldn't dream. He told Daphne all of this. For some reason, she was the only one he could tell about it. Even Theodore didn't know the full extent of what Brian went through although he knew a great deal.

"You just described Justin," she said simply. "Only there's more."

"How much more could there be?" he asked chuckling.

"He's basically turned into you from the five years of your 'relationship.' And I know how much you hate that word but that's exactly what it was, Mr. Kinney."

"Yeah I used to hate it pretty badly. Oh the fucking irony that I actually want one with him now. So what do I do?"

She thought a moment, her eyes focusing on the passersby. "The first thing you should do is book a flight." She looked him directly in the eye. "Justin's in Pittsburgh."