Cruel Intentions

*I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be

So desperate for me to find a way out of my world and finally breathe

Right before my eyes I saw my heart it came to life

This ain't easy

It's not meant to be

Every story has its scars*

Brian laid there watching Justin sleep, looking around the room that Daphne and Troy had decorated to make Brian and Justin's first official night special for them both, since the previous night had been ruined by Michael and Ian's devious tactics. If this had been any other occasion, Brian might have secretly regretted asking Justin to marry him...or in their case commit to him. But he couldn't. After more than fifteen years of hard-won battles fought-- both individually and collectively-- Justin Taylor was finally his, permanently and irrevocably, and that fact made it all worth it.

But now there were all these new revelations; things Justin had been keeping from him. Justin's stated reason was to spare Brian, but Brian didn't believe that was the only deciding factor. Justin was scared. And it wasn't only a specific kind of fear either. It was that paralyzing, thought-provoking kind of fear; the kind which was the source of recurring nightmares both sleeping and awake; the kind Brian himself fought daily for many years after Justin's bashing. Sarah had told Brian to let her and her team handle the Sapperstein mess, but Brian knew from personal experience that the law could only work within limits. Chris Hobbs and the release of James Stockwell back into society was proof-positive of that. Brian wasn't about to let Gary and Sean Saperstein get away with what they had tried to do to Justin. If that meant Brian would have to do jail time because of the ass kicking he was about to administer, then so be it-- whatever it took for Justin to feel safe again.

*No river is too wide or too deep to me to swim to you

Come whatever I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through

Your love it is my truth

And I will always love you*

Brian watched as the blond tossed in his sleep, seeking the warmth and safety that only Brian's love could provide. Justin clung to him as one would a raft given to a drowning man. The incoherent mumbles coming from Justin continued to batter Brian's already bruised heart as he realized yet again that he couldn't help Justin through this. It was another of the side effects from the trauma inflicted on him years ago. All Brian could do was croon reassuringly and hold Justin a little tighter to let his sleeping blond know that he was there. After a time, when Justin finally quieted, Brian exited the bed and poured himself a drink while looking out over the landscape from their bedroom. He relished the familiar burn of the amber liquid sliding down his gullet but the pristine view of the grounds surrounding the mansion did nothing to quell the inner turmoil Brian had experienced, the feelings of helplessness and misplaced shame he felt for not knowing the brand of mental anguish inflicted on Justin and his powerlessness to stop it...again.

*When the pain cuts you deep

When the night keeps you from sleeping

Just look and you will see

That I will be your Remedy

When the world seems so cruel

And your heart makes you feel like a fool

I promise you will see

That I will be your remedy*

Making a split second decision, he headed toward the closet, pulling out his favorite pair of black jeans and a dark turtleneck. Donning his well-worn leather jacket, Brian made his way back over to the bed. Justin was still sleeping; his breathing evening out, letting Brian know that he was no longer dreaming. Brian bent over and placed a gentle kiss on the blond mop top he'd come to know and love, then exited the bedroom before he had a chance to change his mind. He raced down the stairs toward the kitchen, hoping to get out of the house before anyone woke up. It was just before four a.m. and he knew that Drew in particular would be up for his morning run momentarily. Grabbing the keys off the hook, Brian was surprised when a voice came from behind him.

"I figured you'd be up soon, if you even bothered to go to sleep," Sarah said, sitting at the counter as if she magically appeared out of nowhere.

"Should I add ninja to your long list of talents, Agent Morrissey?" Brian asked, his voice dripping with exasperation and reluctant respect. He sighed. "What the fuck are you doing up this time of morning?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Brian, except that I already had you pegged for a vigilante the moment I met you," she said smiling, her respect just as grudging as his toward her. She understood where Brian was coming from and told him so. "Ordinarily I would agree with what you have planned, but you and I both know that this is not the way to avenge Justin."

"And just what do I ‘have planned?'"

Sarah scoffed at his attempt to play dumb. "You're going after the Sapersteins. Don't play ignorant, Kinney, it doesn't become you."

Brian gave up all attempts at being civil. "All you care about is getting this case solved and getting to the big fucking fish, whomever it is. I care about Justin and Justin only."

"I'm perfectly aware of that, Brian," Sarah agreed. "But if you think that is my only stake in this, then you don't know me too well. Why don't you fix us some coffee and I'll tell you a story."

"I don't want to hear any fucking fairy tales. I don't have the time for it," he said even as he unconsciously tapped the start button on the machine.

"Good because I wasn't going to indulge your need to be coddled with happily ever after. This isn't that type of story." She raised both of her eyebrows, daring him to challenge her reasoning or assumptions in reference to him. "Just make the goddamn coffee and sit your ass down. It might actually help you to understand a few things about the people we're dealing with, including me."

Brian rolled his eyes and smirked at her response, acknowledging that there was more to the statuesque agent than met the eye. Somehow that bit of knowledge helped Brian to calm down enough to hear what she had to say whether relevant or not.  Grabbing two mugs from the cabinet, he took his time about pouring. He couldn't help the smile which graced his lips when Sarah confirmed that she took her coffee similar to the way Brian made his own. The grudging respect continued as she took a sip and nearly moaned aloud at the flavor of the robust Italian dark blend.

"Now that you have your morning fix, you want to tell me what the fuck is going on? Why did you and Nicole feel the need to ambush Justin like that?" Brian was still pissed off that they had done it.

Sarah nodded. "That was Nicole's idea, and from the results, I'd say we were right to do so. Although she had kept his confidence and didn't reveal all of contents of their meetings through the years to me, she did warn that he would be more than reluctant to talk about any of it. Justin has developed an avoidance disorder. I suppose it has served him in the past but he can't afford to indulge it anymore."

"It didn't just start," Brian said. "It's a defense mechanism which began many years ago. I'm partially at fault especially after the bashing. You see, as much as Justin was going through his own trials trying to come to terms with it all and what it meant for his career, so was I. It was just easier for both of us if we didn't speak about it. Self-medicating was the better option." Brian smirked.

"You mean drugs, alcohol and endless sex?" When Brian nodded, so did Sarah. "Been there, done that, wrote the handbook and made fucking t-shirts." Brian snickered before she continued. "I did the same right after my sister died because of them. It took me awhile to understand that. It was just easier to blame everything on myself, you know?"

"What happened to her?" Brian was genuinely interested. If this slight but strong creature had some inclination of who was trying to destroy them, then he was all ears. All Brian and Justin wanted to do was live their lives, have sex, and be rich, successful and together while doing it. They weren't interested in furthering a political agenda as most with long money would be. They just wanted to live in peace; they deserved that much.

"My sister worked for a Microsoft-esque company with ties to the ‘organization' hell-bent on eradicating everything which doesn't serve their purpose including gays, the working middle class and poor people. If these people were to pool their resources and talents together, the folks currently in office who were in charge of let's say, the drug trade in America, wouldn't have been elected. Instead it is to their benefit to spread hate and keep everyone divided."

"What does that have to do with Justin and me?"

"It's simple really. You two have entirely too much money between you. If one of you did decide to have a political agenda, you certainly have the money to back whomever would serve your own purpose. Anyway, my sister found out about one of the higher ups in the organization and the man just happened to be her boss. Fred Pierce, along with his adopted sister, Tamara St. Giles, ran the biggest drug and human trafficking operation on the East Coast until a few years ago. Tamara, also known as the drug pin Queenie, has a son by a Senator who was helping her gather information. At the time Lissette found out about Fred, she was dealing with her husband's leukemia and the effects of that as well. Fred, whose public persona was good and upstanding..."

"Much like Jim Stockwell's--" Brian added.

"Exactly like Stockwell's." She nodded before continuing. "He had done a lot of good for the community including erecting 24-hour daycare centers for single parents who had to work nights. Yeah, he was a real fucking good samaritan to those who didn't know the bastard who began to blackmail her. Either she fucked him until he said he was through with her or she could kiss her job goodbye. No matter how he phrased it and made it seem like consensual sex, it was rape. Unfortunately, she didn't confide in anyone until it was entirely too late. Due to the leukemia, she and her husband couldn't have children so imagine what happened when she found herself pregnant."

"Fuck! How...is she?"

"Dead. She killed herself," Sarah said, sighing deeply forcing back the tears. "I didn't find out until after she was already gone. A friend of mine who worked for the same company was put in the same position. Thanks to her, we've put Tamara away, but it still has not lessened her influence."

"And this Fred guy? What of him?"

"Tamara killed him personally. Dismembered, disemboweled, and decapitated him."

Brian winced at Sarah's matter-of-fact tone. He couldn't imagine women being such vicious and cruel bitches as the agent was describing. Brian swallowed hard at the thought as he continued to piece together the information Sarah was giving him. "This friend of yours... is that the friend of Justin's?"

"Julienne McKay. Indeed it is. She's as blonde as Justin and just as fucking smart and brave. Her story is... well it would have been unbelievable if I hadn't been a part of it. If you think it was your worse fate to have a mother like Joan Kinney, you should have met Julienne's who had contracted her own daughter into sex slavery years prior to this case to pay for her and her husband's repeated drug use. Fred and Tamara had inherited the business...or more accurately Tamara ordered assassinations in her father's name while he was on vacation. She put hits out on the head of the other families under her father's rule before she forced him to turn the business-- both to include drugs and human trafficking-- over to her. It became Fred's job to lure the women; Gary Sapperstein was a lure for the men since he was gay and had access to that world. Sean was the tool which Gary used for obvious reasons since the twink is extremely attractive with his dimples and curly hair. As for Queenie, she lured both men and women since she's bisexual and attractive."

"And they wanted Justin?" Brian asked bewildered.

Sarah smiled but there was no warmth in it at all. "Their purpose in wanting Justin was three-fold. First they wanted to fuck him but that's a given. He's beautiful and picture perfect; any man would want him...women too, I suspect. He is like Julienne in that they are both beautiful, blond and have an innocent quality about them even though they are anything but." This time when she smiled, it went straight to her eyes which softened as she thought about the blond sleeping upstairs but then she got back to business. "The second purpose was to have revenge on both of you. There was no question that Justin was totally and completely in love with you, and although you have an open-relationship.."

"Had," Brian corrected immediately and without thought.

"No shit?" Sarah's eyes connected with Brian's trying to gauge the truth of his words. Everyone within their world-- gay or straight-- knew about Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor's sexual proclivities. It wasn't something they bothered to hide. "Well that's news to me. Anyway, it rankled that he wouldn't even consider a ‘relationship' with Sean since the boy was head-over- heels in love with Justin. Sean knew that the only way to get him away from you was to fuck him, not the other way around. It was public knowledge that no one other than Brian Kinney got into Justin's ass. So Sean figured that if he fucked Justin, you wouldn't want him anymore and he would take Justin from you by default. Then when he was done, he'd hand him over to Gary for either sale or as his personal slave."

Brian nodded at her revelation. "And the third reason?"

"It would destroy you," she said simply. "Justin meant more to you than you would let on, but it doesn't mean other people haven't or didn't take notice."

"So they would destroy him to get to me?"

"They would destroy BOTH of you, Brian. This is NOT your fault. They are warped in ways you can't possibly imagine and they are power-hungry. Based on what you and Justin did with the Stockwell campaign, they have reason to fear you should you two choose to organize again."

"But Justin had little to do with that..." Brian began only to be silenced by Sarah's look. He shook his head and released a harsh sigh. "Okay, I'll give you that, Sarah. Justin and I have always worked well together."

"Yes you have, and although individually you guys are great, together you are unstoppable. Look at your careers. By yourselves, you each have made vast amounts of money, but now Maserati won't even consider a company like Vanguard to look at their campaigns."

"That's just good business," Brian waved the compliment away.

"No. That's the magic of the Taylor-Kinney faction and this is no different."

Brian swallowed a large gulp of coffee while digesting her words. "So you're saying that they will try to make a play for Justin again?"

"I'm not sure but I trust no bitch or mitch, and you guys certainly seem to attract both."

"So what can we do?" Brian asked, already knowing the answer but needing to hear it anyway.

"Let us handle it," Sarah said almost pleading with Brian to understand the importance of her statement. As expected, he started to argue, but she cut him off. "Brian, these people... they're ruthless and will use anyone and anything to achieve their goals. I don't want Justin, or you for that matter, to end up like Lissette or Julienne. She still has nightmares and panic attacks. If you don't believe me ask Gareth, Celene, Anthony and Sheila since they have been through it with her and they know what we're facing. The network is very large and very dangerous."

"If that's the case then how the fuck are you going to be able to protect us, Sarah? Justin and I can't hide ourselves away, if that's what you're thinking. Our businesses and families depend on us more than you could possibly know or understand."

"I get it, Brian, I really do. So our only other option outside of protective custody, is to guard every one of you. You, Justin, and those closest to you including your son Gus."

"Gus?"

Sarah almost bit her tongue off for what she just disclosed. But she reasoned that if she was going to gain Brian and Justin's trust and cooperation, then she needed to level with them as much as her job would let her. "There was some question about whether Gus-- as a straight man and regardless that he's your son-- could be turned against you. With John's defection from the organization, they need another insider."

"And they would think to use my own son? That's fucking sick."

"If they used Craig's hate for Justin and John's pseudo-hate for you, what would make you think they wouldn't stoop so low as to use your own flesh and blood?"

Brian thought about what she said. There was bad blood between Craig and Justin as there was between Brian and Craig. John's situation was a lot different because the opinions he'd originally formed of Brian and Justin were not his own; they were Claire's and Joan's. "Fine."

"Fine?"

Brian shrugged. "Yeah fine but I want a favor."

Sarah looked at him cautiously over the rim of her coffee cup before taking a sip. "What kind of favor?"

Brian made his demand without hesitation. "I want to deal with Saperstein personally."

"Brian, I can't--"

"You want my cooperation, this is the price of it."

"Not your life?" Sarah asked, trying to make him see reason.

Brian answered, determined to make her see his point. "I could give a fuck about my life right now, as long as Justin is safe. He IS my life, Sarah. All that matters to me is that he's free to live his life fearlessly."

"And you think taking care of Gary and Sean will achieve that?"

"For me it will. Well at least at first. I know that the Saps are the little fish in the big pond but they have the best chance of getting to Justin especially since John is no longer available for service. Look, you can even go with me as long as you don't get in my way."

Sarah laughed. She looked at the man before her again. Brian Kinney was a man on a mission, and as determined to protect his partner as she was to do her job. Sarah shrugged her shoulders before answering him. "Well I always did enjoy walking the fine line between upholding the law and operating just shy of it. One thing though...you can't kill him."

Brian smiled for the first time since finding out about the Sapp and his nephew's machinations. "I wouldn't dream about killing him. I just plan on issuing a sternly-given warning. Gary Saperstein always was a coward and an opportunist."

"Both of which you plan to take advantage of?"

"I wouldn't be as successful as I am if I wasn't good at manipulating the situation to suit my own ends."

"Does that go just for business or in life as well?" Sarah asked genuinely curious. Brian struck her as unfailingly honest.

"A little of both. The largest and most lucrative part of selling an ad campaign is creating an idea in a customer's mind that they can't do without what I'm selling."

"And did that work for Justin as well?"

"Not a fucking chance," Brian laughed. "But then, the little blond imp has always been on to me."

Sarah joined in the laughter. "Based on all he's written in his journal, I can say that the feeling is entirely mutual. But that brings up one more issue."

"And that is?"

"Ethan Gold and Michael Novotny. Justin was pretty clear on his feelings about both of them." At Brian's sudden wary look, she rushed to reassure him. "He hadn't written about Ethan for many years except in the comparison to Sean Saperstein which was given in detail and was a major turn-off, per his words. But there was more regarding Michael Novotny. Enough for several volumes really. I have to say I was surprised by his ambivalent feelings regarding the man especially since Justin is a man who either takes a strong like or an even stronger dislike to someone or something."

Brian nodded. "To say there is a strong feeling of dislike between them at the moment would be an understatement. I suppose someone told you about what happened at dinner last night?"

"Yes. Jennifer, with numerous interruptions by Debbie of course."

"Of course." Brian sighed audibly, the sound reminding Sarah of heartbreak and weariness. "Michael has always been territorial. From the very beginning of my involvement with Justin, he's done many things to interfere with that. On any number of occasions Justin has tried to overlook or excuse his behavior refusing to put me in the middle and force me to make a choice between my childhood friend and the love of my life. It continued to be a sore point until yesterday."

"Justin said he was more hurt than angry, and then his attitude toward Michael became irate and combative."

"That sounds about right but it wasn't without good reason. Outside of the fact that Michael is a person that doesn't like change, he also doesn't like that Justin was able to get something from me that he wasn't."

"Your heart?"

Brian raised his eyebrow. "Among other things."

Sarah once again laughed. "Well if your reputation is any indication of what he wanted then I believe there will be a lot more people trying to separate you both."

"Justin has a similar rep as a top but honestly, he's the only one who could keep up with me as a bottom. Besides, the very man that Michael wants is the man that I've become, but only for Justin. And that's Michael's problem. I would only change for Justin and yet I haven't; Michael is the only one who sees it that way. He liked the mystique of me, the devil-may-care persona I showed everyone, but wanted out of me what Justin has brought out. If anything, Justin dared to pick at and peel the layers which kept the ‘real' me hidden away and whereas I still don't show it publicly, the people that matter know about it. Justin, Daphne, Jennifer, Lindsey, Gus, Emmett, Ted and Cynthia-- the people who have been with me and stood in mine and Justin's corner during our separation-- know what Michael refuses to accept. Justin Taylor-Kinney is and will always be the only man for me. The sad thing is that his churlishness and childhood dreams of ‘us' may have cost him a good man who loves him unconditionally. Ben deserves better."

Sarah agreed. Justin's account of the mess with Michael Novotny and the other accounts of the man she'd heard about, made her almost relieved that he was no longer a part of their lives. He would have been a complication and a possible tool that they just didn't need. Someone filled with that much hatred against one of the Taylor-Kinneys was definitely someone who would have to be watched carefully. Based on what he'd already done by having Ethan Gold show up in a place he was clearly not invited nor wanted just proved how spiteful and unscrupulous Michael Novotny could be. Shifting her focus to the problem at hand. "So how should we confront Gary Sapperstein?"

"Well since I doubt you'd let me borrow your gun, I guess we should come up with some nonviolent, ineffectual plan." Brian rolled his eyes as he refilled their coffee to continue his conversation with a woman who looked like anything but an FBI agent.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Why Not Me?

Michael woke up from yet another dream of reminiscence. In his dream he relived the waking nightmare of just a mere twenty-four hours ago. The one where his best friend had officially traded his irrevocable and pure love for that of a blond twink. Brian had been more than clear that he wouldn't like the result of making him choose, but Michael had refused to listen, kept believing that their friendship-- that their relationship-- was worth more than Justin Taylor. He couldn't still couldn't believe that Brian had dumped him faster than a hot potato. What did Justin have that he didn't, other than a really hot ass?

When he had arrived on David's doorstep, it had been a welcome surprise to the older man despite his partner, Joseph's aversion to his presence. As far as Michael was concerned, Joseph could stick his own dick up his ass and get glad because Michael wasn't there to see him anyway. At first David had fussed and fawned over Michael, examining his still-battered face with gentleness and care he had not received from Daphne and Troy the night before. When David had asked what happened to him and who was responsible for turning his once brown eyes black, Michael couldn't help but spill the entire story, naming Justin as the culprit. Even as David radiated sympathy, Joseph laughed and said that he was lucky all he got was a couple of black eyes and a busted lip to show for his efforts to ruin what was supposed to be a happy occasion. David had sent Joseph into the other room stating that Michael had not needed to hear that at the moment. Michael was gratified by David's actions.

Michael readjusted the pillows on the guest bed as he thought back over their conversation once Michael was cleaned up. David had asked Michael if he finally understood why he and Brian had never gotten along while he dated Michael. Michael's response was because both men loved him in the same way. David had shaken his head at Michael's answer before speaking again.

"Michael, Brian never loved you the way you wanted him to. I thought so at first but after we broke up, I noticed that I held Brian responsible for something that was not his fault. I wasn't the only one to do that. Melanie did as well. You and Lindsey..."

"That's bullshit, David and you know it. Lindz and Mel had their own problems and Brian had nothing to do with that."

"That's right, he didn't, Michael. But same as you, Lindsey never hesitated to inject Brianisms into every conversation, or seek his advice on things that had nothing to do with him or try to keep Brian Kinney in a box specially marked ‘my youth' so that he would never grow up and change. When he did, you felt threatened Michael. Whereas Lindsey had long-since grown out of her fascination with the man and allowed him to live his own life as he wanted-- with the man he wanted to-- you have not, despite the fact that you are married to an amazing man yourself." David said calmly, wishing more than anything that Michael would finally take heed to him.

"What would you know about it, David?" Michael asked. "When I met you, you were already settled in your life. You had a career, had been places...you had a son for fuck's sake."

"That's true, but so did Brian, Michael."

"Yeah but you wanted yours. You were more than a drop-in dad whenever the mood suited you. You didn't go to Babylon or drink and drug to excess."

"And I'm willing to bet that when Justin showed up in Brian's life he was on the verge of giving all of that up, too," David told the brunet. "There was a weariness about Brian no matter how much he tried to hide it from himself, from Justin, and from the rest of you who expected him to stay the same as he always was. You constantly told him to grow up while encouraging him to stay the same playboy he'd always been. However, Justin wouldn't let him. That kid allowed Brian to be the man you all kept him from being."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

David sighed. He really believed that he and Brian could have been at least decent acquaintances had he seen all of this when they were a part of each other's daily lives. It had taken Joseph to point these things out. "It means that you were in love-- are in love-- with a man who never existed Michael. You put Brian Kinney upon a pedestal, living vicariously through him and his exploits while safely achieving the dream you wished for you and Brian, with Ben. It's a case of ‘wrong man, right life.' And now that you have seen that Brian is with his own Mr. Right, you have systematically destroyed both of the most important relationships in your life. Your marriage may very well be over, and you said that Brian wants nothing more to do with you because he won't jeopardize what he has with his husband."

"Justin is NOT his fucking husband," Michael retorted the venom clear in his voice.

"Semantics, Michael." David sighed. "For all intents and purposes, Justin Taylor IS Brian Kinney's husband. The announcement which was in the society paper yesterday here in Portland stated that clearly. They are officially Domestic Partners and Justin has added Brian's name to his own. In reality, their ‘partnership' is more legally binding than having a marriage certificate Michael, and a helluva lot harder to get out of than a simple divorce." David got up and handed Michael the paper, watching his face pale as he read the same words David spoke.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do now?" Michael asked, the brokenness evident in his voice. When faced with Brian and Justin's commitment in the black and white print, he knew there was no longer a way for him to deny that Brian was serious about Justin-- something he'd happily done for the last fifteen years. The article even talked of their beginnings and living in separate cities even as they continued to have a ‘relationship' of sorts.

David had reached across the table then to hold Michael's trembling hand. He spoke softly, his voice full of sympathy for the man he still considered a friend. "You're supposed to move on, Michael. You're supposed to decide what's best for your life. With or without Brian or Ben in it, you still have to live your own life. It's time to grow up now and stop living on the fringes of adulthood Michael. The first step to that would be to take responsibility for your actions."

"But I've done that, David. I've apologized to Brian," Michael argued but David shook his head.

"Brian's forgiveness is not the one you need. Justin is the one you harmed with your childish antics and churlishness."

"What the fuck do I have to apologize to him for? All I did was call attention to his and Ethan Gold's ongoing relationship."

David laughed but there was no humor in it. "You still don't get it do you? Whether there was a relationship or not-- and there certainly is NOT-- it wasn't your place to interfere, Michael. Your obsession with Brian Kinney has cost you more than you can admit even to yourself, yet you still refuse to acknowledge your part in its destruction." David got up from the table. "You can stay as long as you need to Michael, but you really have to decide what you want to do."

"Oh I'll just bet Joseph will love that."

"No he won't like it at all but he knows he has nothing to worry about where you and I are concerned, Michael. And also because he loves me, he won't mind me wanting to help my friend. The only question he will have is if my friend will be willing to accept the help. I'll leave you to think about that."

David moved off in the direction of the atrium. True to his word he explained Michael's presence to Joseph and although his reception wasn't warm, Joseph accepted Michael's presence with as much grace as the man could muster. His manner reminded Michael of Justin and Linsdey in its pseudo-warmth and Country Club affectations when they would really rather not be bothered. During dinner, Michael had looked at his cell phone. He had twenty-six missed calls from his mother but none from Brian nor Ben. He wasn't sure how to feel about Ben not calling but Brian not calling to check on him had such a feeling of finality to it that his already bruised heart shattered. Perhaps David was right and it was time to let Brian go since it had seemed that he had no problem letting Michael go. But again how the fuck was he supposed to do that? Either way, he needed to decide what to do about Ben. Was he really prepared to spend the rest of his life without love or getting to know someone again before love bloomed between them. Or was it better to go home and work things out with Ben? He really didn't know what he wanted anymore. Everything, his entire existence since he was fourteen, was centered on Brian, a man who no longer wanted him-- who had never wanted him the way Michael had wanted him. So now, what the fuck was he supposed to do?

Michael tossed in bed again. He knew in that moment that there was no way he could leave David's until he figured that out.  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

For All His Faults...

Ethan left the hospital, still sore from his self-inflicted injuries and thoroughly disheartened from Justin's defection. What the fuck is it about Brian fucking Kinney? The thought popped in his head, not for the first time, since meeting Justin Taylor all those years ago. While he laid in his hospital bed he'd done a google search on both Brian and Justin trying to figure out an angle to get to Justin again. Yes, Brian was handsome but then so were a lot of men. Looking at Brian Kinney's net worth, Ethan was both appalled and envious by turns, thinking that if he had a tenth of what the man had, Justin would flock to him like flies to shit. But then when he looked at Justin's net worth he had to reevaluate his stance about wealth. Justin had just as much money and property as Brian Kinney and that was saying a lot. He went through Justin's online art portfolio finally acknowledging that Justin's talent, which he had only thought of as a hobby when they were together. It was beyond fucking lucrative, his paintings now selling in the six-figure range. He was a fucking genius and once again Ethan felt the loss of Justin Cole Taylor keenly. He looked at their joint ventures as well as Justin's business, JT Designs and the Kinnetik annual report for 2014. All of these things were public knowledge and it became blaringly evident that Justin was not with Brian for what he could do for him financially. The last page of his search caused Ethan's heart to ache in ways that made his bruised ribs feel like a scratch. There in the society pages of Pittsburgh OUT was the announcement and full history of the Domestic Partnership of Brian Aidan Kinney and Justin Cole Taylor-Kinney, the latter who had officially added ‘Kinney' despite a state issued marriage license. What the fuck?! Ethan realized in that moment that short of Brian dying, Justin would never leave Brian, especially for him.

He pulled the collar of his trench coat around him a bit more to try to ward of the chill from the air but mostly the cold emanating from the inside of him. Without Justin he never felt warm. Love radiated from the blond like heat from a well-serviced furnace and he spent years feeling like he was lost in a wilderness without Justin. The worse part of it was that he'd thrown it away with lies and fucking other people. The funny thing was that Justin didn't care about Ethan fucking someone else; he had his own promiscuous tendencies after being with Brian. It was that he'd broken a promise to Justin that was the deciding factor. Ethan didn't understand that at first, but he did now. The promise or idea of fidelity is not the same as being faithful in terms of relationships. All Brian ever promised Justin was to be honest with him, whereas Ethan promised that he wouldn't fuck anyone else; that Justin was enough for him. In retrospect, Ethan understood where the breakdown in their communication had stemmed from. And there was no way Ethan could get Justin back. There was no way Justin would let him take back the worst mistake of his life.

During the drive back to Pittsburgh from somewhere in West Virginia, Ethan tried to go through all of the scenarios that would destroy Brian and Justin's idyllic happiness. Everything he had tried thus far hadn't worked-- the serenade at the suggestion of Michael Novotny, Brian's planned arrest for his ‘assault,' the intentional text messages which were designed to cause an irreparable rift between Brian and Justin...none of it resulted in Justin being free of Brian Kinney. Instead all of his efforts resulted in several restraining orders forbidding him from showing up anyplace Justin and Brian would be like their homes, businesses and certain eating establishments. He wasn't supposed to call or text Justin at all and had been advised that the police would be keeping an eye on Justin's phone records but he wasn't going to give up on Justin Taylor (he refused to acknowledge that he was married) now or ever. He would fight to regain Justin's friendship and ultimately his love. In his mind, Justin owed him at least that much.

He knew he had to have help but Cody was no longer a part of his life. He'd called Ethan while he was laid up in the hospital bed to tell him that it was over and that he'd received a job offer in New Jersey which he was taking. It pissed Ethan off more than anything, since he had been depending on Cody to pay the rent for the apartment he'd moved back into after his career tanked. He didn't know what became of Michael Novotny and honestly didn't care. He had served his purpose in getting Justin to notice Ethan at all in the presence of Brian Kinney. Of course that hadn't turned out the way he and Michael had planned but still it had gained Justin's attention so it was worth it to Ethan.

The more he thought about the impotence he felt in achieving his goal, the angrier he became. He hit the steering wheel, yelling "This is not supposed to be my fucking life," blaming Brian for all his carefully laid plans of the last fourteen years going wrong. He'd always thought that Justin would come back to him especially after he'd tried to isolate him from his ‘family,' the group of misfits who had taken Justin in when he was kicked out at seventeen. He reasoned that if Brian hadn't taken Justin back all those years ago, then he and Justin could have picked up where they had left off. He would have apologized-- groveled if he had to-- and Justin would have taken him back because the sweet blond was forgiving and a naive needy little thing back then. But Justin isn't that man anymore, if he ever was, his more rational mind thought even while the selfish part of Ethan argued that there was no way Brian could make Justin happy. It never even occurred to him that Justin knew within his own heart that he and Ethan would not last; that he was simply a diversion and a self-inflicted punishment to Justin.

Ethan suddenly felt weary of thinking while reliving the past. Taking his eyes off the road while reaching for the radio, he switched the station until he happened upon the latest haunting ballad sung by Adele simply titled ‘Hello.' As he closed his eyes briefly to absorb the lyrics into his soul and thinking how much the song resembled his feelings for Justin, he wasn't at all prepared for the upcoming traffic or the gray sedan which was heading in the opposite direction. He skidded into across the divider as he swerved to avoid crashing the car in front of him. He continued to press the brakes with both feet trying his best to stop the car which had hit the driver's side of the passing vehicle but due to the icy road there was no way to stop the inevitable. As a result both his and the other car fell off the ravine on the highway, both flipping numerous times. Ethan smelled the blood, burned rubber of his tires and the strongest odor of gas. He could only pray that it wasn't from his vehicle but knew the chances of that  not being the case were slim to none. Tears fell from his eyes as he suddenly stopped seeing the world upside down when the car was jarred. He looked at the tree which had stopped his car's progress almost laughing at his luck but cursing the fact that he could not move. Ethan looked down at his mangled wrists, the smell of gas still permeating his nostrils. He watched in slow motion as the driver of the other car sat up, eyes wide; watched as realization dawned in the other man's eyes that he also could not move to save himself. The guy was saying something to him but Ethan could barely understand. ‘You. Fucking. Idiot. You fucking faggot.'Then Ethan couldn't hold his neck up anymore to pay attention to the other driver. Whatever the guy was going to say couldn't have been that important anyway. Ethan already knew his type-- a bigot even in that. His last thought was Justin, I love you as the darkness enveloped him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Crossroads

Kevin Dixon had his orders from the ‘Boss.' As a result he was on his way back out to the mansion known as Britin to dispose of Brian and Justin Kinney personally. It would be his pleasure but first he had to ask for pseudo-forgiveness from Justin himself. It was the only way to gain his trust and do what his assignment called for. By all accounts of the young man he had become, Justin was quick to forgive even sometimes at his own detriment. The problem with that was that the blond was also intelligent and wise beyond his years. From what he remembered of Taylor before he announced he was gay, was that the boy was a good judge of character. He sure had his father pegged all the years they'd been estranged, and even before that really. Justin never stopped trying to reach Craig Taylor emotionally but eventually he realized it was a lost cause, especially when the older Taylor had the younger arrested. It still puzzled Kevin how Craig could actually work with the Hobbs family regardless of the reasons or the fact that Kevin had arranged for the bashing in the first place. He didn't know if he could be that heartless...but then again, he didn't have children for that reason either.

He was still pissed off at the Taylor-Kinneys and their offspring, Gus, for causing him to lose his fiancee and with it the joint account Janice was close to setting up with his name added on. Although she was well off individually, she was also a trust fund baby which was unusual as a black embedded in the WASP nest. Daphne Chanders and her family were another of the phenomenon. No, they would never reach the upper echelons that he, Samuel Hobbs and Jennifer Taylor's husband, Tucker, had reached but they were damned close. A little too close for his cohorts' comfort, which was why he'd been ordered to snap Janice up and keep control of her.

Now that he had failed in containing the Kellys, it was up to him to permanently contain the Taylor-Kinneys from the inside out. He had also been ordered to dispose of John Townsend who knew too much and had entirely too much loyalty to his queer uncle to be trusted. Kevin had noticed the younger man he was with and wondered what the connection was. It was something that no one had been able to pinpoint or if they had, no one had bothered to mention the association. There was too much about the Taylor-Kinney faction that didn't add up including why Jennifer Taylor...or better yet Jennifer Armstrong was still associating with Justin. He was given to understand that they were estranged as well. Apparently, Craig Taylor had not been as forthcoming with information and one had to wonder why. He'd noticed Molly Taylor at the reception and while she looked daggers at him, she had kept her distance. Was there some opportunity in that direction?

He was so deep in thought that he pressed his brakes as a delayed reaction...Oh FUCK!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Opportunity Knocks

Craig Taylor had spent a restless night wondering what Madison was up to. He called Saul back a few hours ago advising that Madison had voluntarily left him and he had no idea where she'd gone since she'd left her cell phone behind. After getting his ass verbally chewed out and threatened that if he couldn't keep control of Madison, Saul would help her divorce him taking everything he was worth in the process, Craig had hung up the phone feeling even more disheartened than he did the night before. His world was coming apart at the seams but it didn't just start with Madison's defection. It honestly started back before Justin was bashed, when he'd first cheated on Jennifer. Even though he couldn't hold Justin responsible for much outside of his disgusting lifestyle, he knew that Justin also knew about the women over the years leading to his teen years. Craig often wondered if Justin had kept his secrets but then he would discount Justin's knowledge or involvement. He would never want to hurt Jennifer like that and if Justin was nothing else, he was loyal to the woman who had given him life. Craig still fumed that he had not inspired that kind of devotion in his oldest son, many times wishing he could go back and just make him straight. He remembered confronting Justin one time about him choosing to be a homosexual instead of being a real man, having a family and fulfilling his duty to carry on the Taylor name with dignity, honor and respect. Justin had laughed in his face stating that it was actually funny when straight parents blame their gay kids for being attracted to the same sex instead of what they deemed morally correct. He suggested plenty of contraception with spermicidal lubricant for the hetero population so they could stop giving birth to gay kids and then the species could die out knowing that they were saved from the ‘homosexual agenda.' That was the last conversation he'd ever had with the man he used to consider his son.

By all accounts, Justin was doing extremely well... and without his help. Craig couldn't deny that it pissed him off that the little faggot was almost richer than anyone he knew and even that was subject to change. He'd kept track of Justin's success even though he would never admit it aloud to anyone-- not even himself. If he was straight, Justin could be a son Craig would have been proud to call his own. But no...he was joined at the hip with that bastard child molester, Kinney. Yes, he knew that technically Kinney was well within the law regarding the age of consent but still there was a fucking twelve year age difference between his son and the slut of Pittsburgh. What was it about Justin that attracted Brian to him? Brian Kinney was the one with all the money so it had to be more sinister, right? Fuck it didn't matter in the end since Justin had made his choice. Now he would be destroyed along with his whoremongering lover.

But that would come later....first he needed to help. Without the funds in his joint account, Craig knew he was living on borrowed time. He respected the fact that he should have listened to Madison when she told him to pay off the mortgage to the condo and the cars but instead he had invested in Stockwell's defense and various causes to ferment homophobia that were now coming back to bite him in the ass. Once the divorce from Jennifer was finalized years ago, he was required to pay back every cent of the trust fund her father and grandfather had left her which he'd drawn off of. He was the executor but he wasn't supposed to touch a penny of it in case they divorced or he died. He thought he'd had plenty of time to put the money back but he'd miscalculated just how intelligent Jennifer was and how knowledgeable of his many affairs before Madison he'd had. Shaking his head out of his reverie, Craig picked up his cell phone and scrolled the phone book before he reached the number he wanted.

He was gratified when the desired voice sleepily answered the phone. "Do you know what the hell time it is in the morning, Craig?"

"I'm sorry about the time Jennifer, but Madison has left me, she emptied the joint checking account and... I really need your help."

"You don't say," the blonde answered him nonchalantly.

"Oh come on, Jenn. Don't be like that. We've always been civil to each other," Craig nearly pleaded with her.

"Correction Craig. I've been civil while you've been the same self-serving shit you've always been."

"Okay. I suppose I deserve that."

"And more," she answered, her voice sharp.

"Look, can you loan me some cash... just until Madison gets back?"

"When will that be?"

"I...I..."

He heard Jennifer laugh full and long at his expense. "You don't know, do you Craig?"

"No I don't. She just said she needed time away and she took the children with her."

"I guess she's smarter than I gave her credit for after all she got away from you while she still has her sanity."

"That was uncalled for Jennifer. I suppose you forgot all the times I bailed you out of trouble."

"What by actually paying the alimony that was due me? Craig, if anyone on these phones is suffering from selective amnesia, I believe that it's you."

"Look Jenn are you going to help me out or not?"

"I'll help you on one condition and it's non-negotiable."

"And that is?"

"You need to speak with Justin. Even if I wanted to, I can't give you the help to the extent you need."

"Ask that faggot for help? Surely you're joking, Jennifer," Craig said the disgust evident in his voice.

"Suit yourself and good luck being homeless," Jennifer said but before she could disconnect the call she heard his voice pleading with her again.

"Wait! Wait, wait, wait please Jenn don't hang up!" his desperation was more than evident in his tone.

"I'm listening although I really don't know why I'm bothering. We both know that as soon as you get what you want, you're going to become a world class asshole again."

"Fine, I'll talk to Justin. Where is he?"

She chuckled. "You didn't think it would be that easy did you? You're always telling our son...yes OUR SON, to be a man and yet you're trying to take the coward's way out. If you're serious about asking for his help, the least you can do is ask him in person-- the same way he's asked you for your help paying his college tuition when you denied him, the same way he asked you to stop the attacks when you had him arrested, the same way you stand and supported the fucking homophobes who bashed him and you celebrated with them. The least you could do is ask the man who will potentially save your miserable ass in person if he would be kind and forgiving enough to financially help the man he used to call dad."

Craig swallowed hard at Jennifer's accounting of his and Justin's tumultuous relationship. The list of his shortcomings in terms of supporting Justin was so miniscule even since before he turned seventeen. And Jenn had no problem pointing it out. He grudgingly admired her for being able to speak her mind. Married to him, she wouldn't have dared but he realized now after all these years that it wasn't out of fear and due to her upbringing but love for her children. She wanted them to have a father whom they could respect and she led by example. But when she'd had enough of his emotional and psychological abuse, she'd left him and didn't look back. He wondered if that was what Madison was doing, if she was preparing to cushion her fall from the lofty heights of being Craig Taylor's wife. He admitted to himself that he wouldn't be surprised if she was.

After agreeing to Jennifer's terms, Craig showered and dressed. Climbing into the family sedan instead of his sports car, he headed to the freeway on his way to the West Virginia estate.  As he drove along, he thought of all Jennifer had said and of the two relationships he knew Justin had been in since leaving home. If he had his pick between Ethan Gold and Brian Kinney, he would have chosen Ethan Gold. When Justin was dating him, he'd done his research on the talented violinist. They were of an age and both attended PIFA which meant the boy had a future. And yet, Justin had still ended up with that fucking Kinney. What was it about the man that appealed to every faggot known to man? The one thing he knew was that it couldn't have been about money. If it was Justin wouldn't have left Kinney when he did even though he himself was penniless since Craig had basically kicked him out. If it was about money, Justin would have denounced his homosexual lifestyle and come home, played the game, gone to Dartmouth as Craig had demanded and played straight until he could support himself. No whatever the appeal, it had nothing to do with money but then the little fucking violin player cheated on Justin. How that was any different than what Brian Kinney did to him, he did not know. And truthfully it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Justin come off of his high horse, think for himself instead of letting Brian Kinney guide his decision and decide to help his father-- the only blood male blood relative he had. Craig would say or do whatever he had to to achieve that end. God knew Justin could afford to be charitable, but whether he would want to was a different matter.

The road to West Virginia was icier than Craig expected and suddenly he was glad he took the sedan.... or at least he was until...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Letting Go of Ghosts

Justin had awoken in bed alone. He wasn't sure how to feel about that but since it was after seven in the morning and Brian was generally an early riser, he didn't dwell on it. Instead he focused on the revelations in the office the previous night and the long overdue conversation he'd needed to have with Brian. It definitely wasn't a want; if he'd had his way, he would have never let Brian find out about those two potentially dangerous moments in his life. He knew instinctively that Brian's protective streak was going to be more unstable than it had in the past. He'd see ghosts and shadows when there weren't any. Sometimes it was a real turn-on to know and see just how precious he was to Brian Kinney but right now they couldn't lose focus. There were people-- dangerous people-- trying to destroy all they had worked so hard to build; their businesses, their family and quite possibly their very lives. Justin shuddered to think of what would have happened if Gary and Sean had succeeded in their nefarious plans. He was well aware of Julienne's ordeal at the hands of her now deceased boss and his sister and there was no doubt in his mind that the Sapersteins were just as unscrupulous. But there was a more immediate specter of his past he needed to lay to rest.

With that thought in mind, Justin exited the bed. He was still a little stiff and sore from the previous night's lovemaking. Brian had been gentle the first two times treating him as if he was glass. By the third time, Justin had had enough and climbed atop Brian, riding him more roughly than he'd ever done. And his ass was paying the ultimate price for it the morning after. He couldn't help the small smile which graced his lips as he looked in the full length mirror seeing the bruises on his hips and shoulders when the addictive passion had become animalistic especially when Brian kept him on the edge of orgasm for over an hour.

As Justin stood under the hot spray of the multi shower heads, he couldn't help but remember the nightmares he'd endured during the night. But Brian's presence had made the night more than bearable. Even when the man wasn't touching or speaking reassuringly to him and Justin was trapped inside the dreamstate, he knew he wasn't alone. He knew Brian would never willingly leave him but it was amazing to feel that his secrets hadn't destroyed Brian's devotion just then. He was still apprehensive about facing everyone else but he decided he would take it moment-by-moment to keep his sanity and to protect Brian's. It was what he'd always tried to do and it was a habit he didn't intended to break ever.

Justin dressed quickly in a pair of sweats, his favorite t-shirt of Brian's and a pair of canvas sneakers before alighting from the room in search of coffee. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he put his hair in its customary man-bun on top of his head happy that he had the forethought to grab the band for his heavy tresses before leaving the bathroom. It was too much but Brian refused to hear of him cutting his hair. Justin chuckled to himself. Brian was always such a slut for his hair whether it was buzzed off as he'd worn it in his pink posse days or prep school look of Justin's youth. But Brian had always loved it when he could wash it and grab it; when he could tangle his big hand in the tresses and tether Justin to him or change the tenor of a kiss simply by pulling his hair and in return the action would make Justin even more anxious to fuck. Yes...There were definitely moments when Justin appreciated having a head of hair just as much as Brian enjoyed playing with it. Justin sipped his coffee lost in his salacious thoughts until a familiar voice interrupted him.

"Well. that looks like the smile of a man in lust if I've ever seen one," Jason said smirking easily discerning Justin's thoughts.

"What the hell are you doing here, Jason?" Justin asked cutting right to the chase.

"Well good morning to you too, Sunshine," Jason chuckled. "Any more coffee?"

Justin nodded as he turned around to the coffee maker and to grab an additional mug from the cupboard. He couldn't deny that Jason looked delectable even sweaty from his morning run. He always did. Justin absently thought that maybe it was time he got back into it and then shook his head at the thought. He was still in top twink form, enough to keep Brian lusting after him and that was enough for him.

Handing Jason the completed cup of coffee and adding cream liberally to it the way he knew Jason liked it, Justin repeated the question. "Now that you have your seven a.m. fix, answer my question. What the fuck are you doing in my house this weekend?"

Jason laughed. He always did enjoy Justin's feistiness. "To answer your question, I'm here with Avlossa."

"I thought you were in real estate."

"I am but I'm also a silent partner in the company. Bethany and Shar knew that the three of us are acquainted. They also know how condescending Gardner Vance could be toward women in business and thought that he wouldn't dare act that way with a man, even a gay one."

Justin nodded at Jason's reasoning and at Bethany and Shar's good business sense in this case. It was no secret that Gardner was from the ‘old school' of business where women were more valued as arm candy than for their brains. "Brian and Vance had many arguments about that very thing, Jason, so Bethany and Shar were right to bring you along."

"I wish you could have seen them. I sat silently and let them handle the meeting which they always have in reference to Avlossa. Bethany, in particular, had him almost pissing in his pants. She can be a charming tyrant when she wants to be for all her moviestar looks. Shar can be too but Bethany can be an outright bitch when needed and it was certainly needed in that meeting. She also exudes sex which didn't hurt matters in the least. In fact I think if she didn't tell him straight away that she and Shar were together that he might have tried to piss on her leg to mark his territory. The guy's a real dog, Justin."

"He used to pant after Cynthia, Brian's assistant, so I'm well aware that he is looking diligently for wife number five. But that only partially answers my question about what you're doing in my house."

"Come on, Jus," Jason sighed. "You can't still be pissed about that email. It worked didn't it?"

"It almost didn't Jason. We had a huge fucking argument because of it. You had no right--"

"I had every right, Justin. It was time for Brian to either shit or get off the pot. He needed to claim you or let you go once and for all."

Justin rolled his eyes. "It was always my decision to stay, Jason."

"I know that. You think I don't know that? When I saw you in Rochester I saw what scared you. You talked to me about your fears but I also saw what scared you and by all accounts according to what Emmett told me, you were absolutely right to fear the influence of Brian's family. That Michael guy...if he was here I would punch him in his damn mouth myself."

"Already done," Justin said. They both burst out laughing.

"Yeah. I heard about your Muhammad Ali moment. You still have that left hook that could fell a 250 pound man, huh?"

"I can hold my own but then you know that all too well."

Both Justin and Jason were lost in their memory of trick who wouldn't take no for an answer and thought he could manhandle Justin. Jason had gone to step in but Justin had taken care of it before Jason could reach him. It was one of the surprising things about the sweet-natured guy that Jason had come to love. "I'm sorry, Justin. I didn't really want to cause problems between you and Brian but I won't deny that if he didn't snatch you up, I would have."

"Jason--"

"No Justin. If we're going to clear the air and be friends as we always have, then you need to know this. You are the only guy I would ever bottom for-- at least right now. You're probably the most caring man I've ever met and that's saying a lot since Brian and I are quite similar as you well know. I would have jumped at the chance long ago to make you happy but anyone with eyes could see that only one man had your amazing heart. It was time that Brian remembered that."

"He didn't forget," Justin said quietly.

"No. I reckon he didn't, but it never hurts to remind guys like us once in awhile." Jason smiled and winked at Justin. "So can we be friends again? Real friends? I have few of those."

Justin smiled brightly back at Jason. "I know. It must be that charmingly surly personality and your rapier wit."

"Don't flatter me too much, Justin. My poor heart is still fragile from your loss."

Justin laughed then. "You're so full of shit, my friend, but in the best of ways." Justin went around the counter and hugged the man whose intentions were good but had a warped way of doing things much like Brian. No wonder Justin loved both of them although in very different ways.

"Am I interrupting?" Emmett asked from the side door leading from the lounge area off the kitchen,

"Not at all, Em," Justin answered. "Just chasing some ghosts this morning."

"Well an exorcism over coffee sounds just fine this here morning," Emmett said as he entered the kitchen area fully. "Where's Brian? Did you wear him out?"

Justin blushed as the two men snickered. "He's probably at the office. You both know him."

Emmett nodded before responding. "Workaholic. Fuckaholic. It's all the same when dealing with Brian. By the way are you two..."

"What?" Justin asked.

"What Emmett is trying to ask is if you two have become monogamous?" Jason asked, shuddering as the word passed his lips.

Both Justin and Emmett laughed at the man's antics before Justin answered. "We've talked about it," he said noncommittally.

"Well it's a step in the right direction. Not the monogamy bit but that you guys are actually talking." Emmett said.

"And that there is still hope for me to convince you both that the answer should be NO," Jason said making the trio laugh.

"You would say that, Jason." Justin shook his head. "Who knows what will happen. Maybe I'll say yes, maybe I'll say no but..."

"Wait. He asked you to be?" Emmett asked genuinely surprised. He knew that Justin had wanted monogamy from Brian years ago like he wanted his next breath. But he also knew that the reason he wanted it had everything to do with other peoples' ideas and idealism of what constitued a 'real' relationship. Michael and Lindsey had been most vocal of the monogamy bullies-- one out of pity (well mostly) and the other due to pure spite (definitely). Though Lindz had her own problems with monogamy whenever dick was involved, Michael just had a problem with BRIAN being monogamous with anybody, especially true in Justin's case. Emmett often wondered why since it was more than evident that Brian would never have fucked Michael even if he was the last man on earth with an open hole. He thought that Michael's problem with the idea of Brian being monogamous with Justin stemmed from one of two things: either Michael was afraid of losing his 'Best Friend of Brian Fucking Kinney- Stud' status or the fact that Michael lived for the stories of Brian's weekend and didn't want anything or more specifically ANYONE interfering with his Monday fix. Well whatever it was, Brian had willingly abdicated his Studly throne and all for the hottest ass to ever grace the gayborhood since the year 2000. The Taylor-Kinneys (ooh he loved the sound of that!) would always be the King and Crowned Prince of Liberty Avenue by which all others are judged but this new phase they were entering was good. Personally Emmett hoped to God that Justin would take Brian up on it because he knew how much it took for Brian to even broach the subject with Justin. But he would take a page out of Brian's book and keep his thoughts on the subject to himself. He had more fun watching events like this unfold anyway.

Justin nodded. "You know Brian, Em. It's all up to me now. I'm just a little older now than the age he was when we met. He doesn't want me to feel like I'm missing out on anything. That's always been the basis by which our relationship has run even though sometimes he thought he knew what was best and pushed my ass of the Kinney Cliff more times than should have been allowed by law. But he promised no more of that shit this time which is why I agreed to-- for all intents and purposes-- marry him. God I still can't believe this happened."

Emmett smiled. "I think we all saw this coming. Well all of us except he who shall not be named."

Justin nodded again. "I almost feel bad for Michael though, Em."

"Don't, Baby. You did the right thing where Michael was concerned. You said what needed to be said and let your fists do what they have been aching to do for at least the last ten years. I know so don't deny it," Em said when he noticed Justin about to protest his valid reasoning. Only when Justin conceded the point did he continue. "Most importantly, you gave Brian the room to think and move all on his own. That's something Michael never has, never will and never would have done. He would have whined Brian into submission, forcing his compliance just to get him to shut the hell up. You would have never put Brian in the middle whereas Michael always has. And you didn't put him in the middle this time either when you had every right to as his husband. So, no, don't you feel bad one damned bit, Justin. Mr. Novotny made his bed and now he has to lie in it like everyone else. Michael is NOT the exception to the rule, sweetie. It's time he learned that."

Before Justin had a chance to respond both the doorbell and his phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he noticed it was his mom calling and asked Emmett to get the door.

"Mom, why are you calling me from upstairs? Come down and have a cup of coffee with me."

"I will sweetheart but first we need to talk. After that if you still want to have coffee with me, I will gladly come down but I think you might need some time to absorb what I have to tell you."

"Okay," Justin said, confused but willing to listen. He gingerly took a seat and settled himself. Jason noticed and chuckled knowingly at Justin's discomfort even as he moved to the other side of the counter to refill his and Justin's coffee cups. "Alright Mom, what's this about?"

Jennifer sighed before launching into her tale. "Madison has left your father. He's basically penniless and wanted me to ask you for a loan. I told him that if he wanted a loan from you, he should ask you directly so he is on his way here to do that."

"MOM!"

"I know, honey. I shouldn't have but... well it's your decision and you should be able to make it without anyone's interference. Not only that but the same way you went to his house and asked for his help face-to-face he should have the decency and balls to do the same."

Justin rolled his eyes heavenward. Will the drama this weekend never end? "I understand your reasoning Mom, I really do, but I really don't want to see Craig. I'm not sure how I should act knowing what he is trying to do to me and Brian or that he was standing by applauding when I got bashed or that he is still associated with Samuel Hobbs. I-- I just don't know, Mom."

"I understand, Honey, but you have to do what's best for you and your conscience whatever that may be. Then be man enough to let the chips fall where they may. I know that you will make the right choice for yourself, Justin and not anyone else."

"What would you do?" he asked her genuinely curious of her answer. He knew his mom was responsible for Madison leaving in the first place.

"Uh-uh, Justin. What I would do and what you would do could be two entirely different things. I will NOT influence your decision in any way. I just wanted to give you a heads up about your impending visitor."

"Okay but I want you, Tucker and Brian there when I meet with him. Craig likes to twist the truth of things to make himself look good and I won't allow him to do so. But I want witnesses. I don't trust him any further than I can throw him."

"Will do, Son. So am I invited for coffee or not?"

"Of course Mom. I'll see you in a bit."

Justin hung up the phone and thought about all his mother said. He really didn't know what he wanted to do. On the one hand, he would never be as selfish and self-righteous as Craig had been when Justin had asked for his help in the past. But the more vindictive side of Justin's personality was screaming for revenge. Justin had all the money and power this time and Craig wanted-- no needed-- some of it to live. Perhaps there was a way he could make all of it work to his advantage. He didn't have anymore time to think of it though because Emmett was tapping him on the shoulder with a weird look on his face. What now?

*Remedy by Adele