CHAPTER SEVEN

The Ninety Day Rule

Seeing each other for the first time in nearly a year, neither could quite grasp that it was real. Except for the garment bag Brian had dropped when Justin had crashed into him, there wouldn't have been any evidence at all that it happened since Brian had managed to retain hold of his carry on. Steady hazel eyes met panicked cerulean blue ones.

"Where you going?" Brian asked calmly.

"Home," Justin stated equally calm. It was taking every ounce of strength in him not to tackle Brian, shove his tongue down his throat right there in the middle of Pittsburgh International Airport. The smell of his cologne and that scent which was innately, uniquely Brian, clouded his mind enough where it was hard to form anything else but a monosyllabic answer.

Brian smiled slightly before answering. "Well if that's the case, you're going the wrong way. You up for coffee?"

Justin smiled in return. It was classic Brian to not ask for what he really wanted, just dropping hints. "No."

"Home then," Brian said.

"That depends," Justin said. At Brian's confused look Justin continued, "On whether you feel like another plane ride or not. I just raced halfway across a fucking airport, I should damn well get on the plane."

"Forget the plane and come home with me," Brian said smiling. He bit his bottom lip which at his age should've been completely illegal considering it was sexy as hell. Brian still held his eyes captive and Justin could feel his resolve weakening little by little. Maybe it would be easier this way.

"Okay," Justin answered as he resettled his bag on his shoulder.

Settling into the driver's seat of the Jaguar F-type R, he watched as Justin settled into the passenger seat after depositing his bag in the trunk beside Brian's. "Comfortable?" Brian asked smugly, watching Justin's reaction to the car.

"Yeah. Nice car. New?"

"Fairly. Business has been good," Brian answered. "Ready to go or-"

"Or?"

Brian smiled. "Or am I going to have to ask for a kiss hello?"

Justin undid the seatbelt, leaned and gave him a chaste peck on the lips. Again Brian smiled and shook his head.

"You said you wanted a kiss hello. You got one," Justin said and chuckled.

Brian undid his seatbelt in return and slung his arm around Justin. He waited patiently until he felt Justin relax into him and look at him directly. For the first time in many years, Brian wished he'd had his Jeep back wanting nothing more than to have Justin then and there in the parking garage of the airport. Resolving if all he was allowed to have then was a kiss he was going to damn sure make it good. Watching Justin, he brought his head closer pausing just slightly before touching his lips gently to Justin's. He relished in the release of breath he felt as Sunshine released the pent up breath he never realized he held whenever they kissed. Brian added a degree of pressure to the chaste kiss encouraging Justin's mouth to open for him. It did. At the first taste, Brian felt as if he'd come home after a long time away. Relief and lust, not necessarily in that order, flooded him as Justin responded in kind. Passion ignited in the two-seater, neither could get close enough to the other. Brian's fingers locked themselves in Justin's hair, the silky soft strands sliding between his fingers. Justin's groan of pleasure sounded like music to him and he deepened the kiss again, felt Justin suck on his tongue to bring him even closer. Breaths mingling, tongues tangling, hands groping-Brian wanted nothing more than to be naked and making love to the man in the passenger seat right then. Breaking the kiss before he lost total control, he advised Justin-flushed and breathing as heavy as he was-to attach his seatbelt and he drove like a bat out of hell from the parking garage.

They rode in silence for a time, each absorbed in his own thoughts. As soon as Brian exited the garage he put the top down on the car and they hit the interstate almost immediately. Traffic on the other side of the road was almost at a standstill, many people trying to make their flights. The wind felt good on Brian's scalp which was still a bit heated from the exchange with Justin. The blond dynamite analogy popped unbidden into his brain again and he it became a little tough to concentrate on the road with his hard on taking over.

"Um, Brian," Justin said interrupting his thoughts. "You just missed the exit to your place."

"No. I didn't," Brian answered him.

Justin laughed. "Considering I rented a car when I got here, I'm pretty sure the exit to Liberty Avenue was back there."

"I haven't lived on Tremont for the past nine years. I only stay there from time to time when I have early meetings the next morning. A lot has changed since you've been away."

"Apparently," Justin said quietly. "Brian-"

"Uh-uh." Brian cut him off remembering that particular tone from many years gone by. "We'll talk about things when we get home. In fact we're almost there." Brian took the next exit.

Knowing something was weighing heavily on Justin, Brian immediately went into planning mode. There wasn't much he could do given they had literally run into each other at the airport of all places but Daphne had given him quite a bit of insight into Justin's mind and he absorbed it like a sponge. He'd thought of every possible argument to combat Justin. You didn't spend five years living with someone nor ten years off and on living apart but still connected and not know or remember little nuances about them-like the way he cradled his right hand whenever he was frustrated or nervous about something. Or the way his chest rose and fell when there was something he wanted to say but was unsure how it would be taken. As much as Justin had changed over the years, Brian was glad those things hadn't. It meant there was hope for him...for them. The silence lengthen again as Brian drove on, making a left into a quiet park. The trees were thick with leaves; the summer breeze slicing through the still quiet of the neighborhood.

"What are we doing here?" Justin asked. So he remembered it, did he?

Brian stepped out of the car, leaving the key in the ignition. He looked up at the beige and brown building. "It's home," he said simply.

Justin stepped out of the car in shock. Brian guessed he was remembering the first time they arrived at the house together. Brian had presented it as "The Country Manor of his dreams."

"You live...here?" Justin asked looking at Brian in shock.

Brian returned the look smugly. "Yeah for the past nine years."

"But-"

"Yeah, I know. Come on." Brian grabbed Justin's hand, climbing the three short stairs to the front door.

Gone was the tarp covering the furniture the last time Justin had been there. The same Italian fixtures Brian had installed at the loft, were continued in the living room of the manor. The furniture alternated between Mid-Century modern and Old world Italian; a new Barcelona chair graced a corner on one-side of the fire. The naked guy painting had been given a place of honor on the other side which made Justin laugh.

"What?" Brian asked, enjoying the sound of Justin's sharp bark of laughter and the sight of Justin smiling since they walked in. He was a little concerned the shock of him living there would have been a little too much.

"I was just thinking of how much the naked guy would probably appreciate the fire when it's lit."

They burst out laughing again. And it felt good. It felt right. "Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to get a drink. Want one?"

"Jim Beam if you have any," Justin answered. At Brian's raised eyebrow, Justin said, "Liquid courage."

While Brian was off fixing their drinks, Justin had time to absorb all that had happened from the time of their meeting at the airport. The kiss in the parking lot curled his toes which kissing Brian always had. He even found himself briefly wishing for the Jeep again; the Vette was never large enough to consider the hot activities they were accustomed to in the larger vehicle. Chuckling silently, he remembered how many blow jobs he'd given in that damn vehicle and the very brief first encounter the night Gus was born in the back of it before Michael, in his jealousy, swerved the car. His smile disappeared remembering Craig Taylor and the time he'd hit the first one. The good memories mixed with the bad memories so much, Justin snatched at his hair a little while staring out the front windows.

"What's on your mind?" Brian asked. Justin was so lost in remembering he hadn't heard him reenter the room.

"Nothing. Thanks," he said taking a relatively large gulp of the drink. Brian raised a single eyebrow and stared at him until Justin decided to tell him. "This isn't working for me anymore."

"What the drink? You just got it," Brian answered wryly before taking a sip of his own.

Justin looked at him directly. "You're going to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about?"

Brian took a deep breath. "I know what you're talking about. It's why I went to see you in New York."

Justin breathed a sigh of relief. Wait! "So we're in complete agreement?"

"If you're asking if we're in complete agreement that we should finally take this further then yeah we're in agreement."

Justin pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. Justin moved away from Brian and the window, sinking heavily on the couch. This was going to be harder than he thought but there was no choice but to just say it. "No. I mean we should end this-us. It can't go any further. We've tried, have been meeting for ten years. Your schedule isn't letting up, neither is mine. It's becoming...difficult to not want more but neither of us can give any more than what we already have."

Brian slowly placed his glass on the ledge, walking toward the fireplace. Justin couldn't bear to look up at him. Keeping his eyes lowered he swirled the amber liquid around in the glass hoping Brian would just let it all go. There was just no way in hell it would work but he knew Brian pretty well. If there was one word to describe Brian Kinney it was determined, even though arrogant and persuasive always followed close behind. And despite of how easy Justin wished this would be he knew there was no way Brian was just going to let the matter go. He was right.

I'm so glad to see you, now I have the chance to say

Our love's been growing freely, what must I do to make you stay?**

"You always look so innocent when you blow me off, do you know that?" Brian said.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I seem to recall a situation similar to this one only the positions were reversed and you were determined to get me back. You were young and inexperienced then-innocent. I seem to miss that Justin right about now."

Justin laughed outright. "You're the one who took my inexperience for innocence, Brian. That was your fault not mine."

"Maybe so but now you're as experienced as I and definitely no longer innocent. How about trying this-us again? No bullshit. We both know what we want now. I want you not for a day or two weeks every two years nor by accident; I want you for good... permanently."

"Well you can't always get what you want."

Brian laughed. "Sexually? Since when? But this isn't about that."

"I'm not a toy, Brian," Justin said vehemently. He knew he was in for a fight but damn-

"I know that, Justin. You want proof of much I want you? Well you'll have to give me a chance to prove it."

Justin looked at Brian again shaking his head. "This whole conversation is fucking unbelievable."

Brian smiled that sly, slow and seductive smile causing an reluctant smile from Justin in return. "I thought we'd already established that I am." Brian moved toward him while keeping Justin's eyes captive;his stride purposeful yet evenly measured as if in no hurry. Brian stopped in front of him, leaning down to look him in the eyes. Justin had almost forgotten to breathe, his arousal rising with Brian's proximity. He was close enough Justin could feel his breath ghosting across his chin. "In fact it was right here, in front of the fire on the floor, tenderly then roughly but thoroughly that I proved to you just how UN-fucking-believable I am. Any of that ringing a bell? Or do you need a reminder?" His raspy voice asked as he stroked the side of Justin's nose with his own.

"What do you want?" Justin whispered before he could stop himself. Brian's lips had begun to rub softly against his own. Fuck! Brian had no need to use sex as a weapon. Brian was sex personified, a walking, talking, breathing aphrodisiac and he was obliterating Justin's resolve inch by inch.

"Ninety days," Brian whispered back, placing a slight but clinging peck to Justin's lips. "I already know your schedule is clear except for a few minor things so you can't hide behind work."

Fucking Daphne and her big mouth. How much else did she tell him? "Fine," he answered. "What else?"

"Later," Brian said diving onto Justin, stretching them out on the couch and kissing him thoroughly while blowing Justin's mind to bits.

Don't Go**

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Brian's POV

Ten years... Ten fucking years it took me to get to this point. When I think back to the night we met and all the things we've gone through, it really is a miracle that both of us still have our sanity. Between the bashing and the bombing alone both of us should be either drugged up or checked into a psych ward with a straight jacket, three meals a day and all the Xanax we could handle as fast as we can. That doesn't even include the other traumas of childhood, family and friends. I honestly wouldn't have made it through a lot of it without Justin by my side. I can admit that now- if to no one else but myself. Waiting for him hasn't been an issue...well not much of one. I understood that he did what he felt he needed to do. It was his life to lead and it still is. But I'll be damned if I let him leave now when we're finally at the place we've fought so hard and waited so long to be in.

I feel the time is right

‘Cause my love for you has grown

Up until this very night**

The boy- who was never really a boy in my eyes- is a full grown, self-assured man. More than the man I'd hoped he'd become. He's intelligent, has business savvy, gifted in so many ways and as sexually insatiable as I am; my equal in every way. And now he wants to leave? No! He spent the first five years of our non-relationship wearing me down, repeatedly breaking down my walls at every turn, surprising me around every corner and invading every aspect of my life only to want us to go our separate ways in the end? Bullshit! And now that I've actually accepted that I cannot and will not live without him, he wants to give me up? NO! These last ten years of covert meetings- some planned and some not- has taught me the most valuable lessons of my life with Justin. When we met fifteen years ago, there were things I never expected to find, love and unconditional acceptance were two of them. Unlike many people in my life, the only thing Justin has ever asked of me was to love him. Everything else I've done for him was because I wanted to. It took me awhile to understand the theory and stop running from the fact that I really did love him since that first night. Yeah, it started off as a healthy dose of lust but being with him- being inside him- quickly turned into something more. Something meaningful. Something life-altering. I can admit that the reason I ran and fought so hard against it was the fear of change and of giving myself to another person. I had belonged to my parents and look how that turned out. I was their son but they abused me. I was Michael's friend- still am- but he used me too. So did Lindsey, Melanie, Emmett and Ted. However intentional or unintentional it may have been, they did even if it was just for living vicariously through me or financially. I was happy to provide them with endless fodder to keep them from the inner recesses of my ice cold heart. Keeping people at bay was a skill I'd cultivated but I can't lie and say that their judgment and preconceived notions didn't hurt. They did but I'd learned a long time ago to just bury it and move on. But the arrival of a blond man trapped in a pubescent teen body changed all that.

I had doubts your love was strong enough

To break me down

Now I'm caught up in this web

You've spun for me tonight

Don't go**

Justin was the surprise of my life that I had no right or reason to expect. His innocence- even if he doesn't call it that- and his honesty reminded me of what I should have been like at seventeen instead of the worldly creature I was. I'd learned how to toughen up and harden my heart by then so to see an openly giving young man with a fabulous body, sparkling eyes and an untapped source of bravery, it was easy to want him- easy to fall for him. Then as time marched on, he became an addiction. I craved him, not just his body but his company. We would laugh for hours and fuck for hours and talk for hours. Many people would be surprised to know that about Justin and I. People just minimized our compatibility down to just sex because there's no question that we're both hot and whereas he was young, it was even harder to believe that the Stud of Liberty Avenue was more attracted to the Twink King of Babylon's brain than his ass. It was easier to put us into that box- to justify the ongoing attraction- especially amongst those who we consider friends. Little did they know that it was so much more than that.

It takes a gifted man, To release the love in me

So far you're the only man, Who has gone this far for me**

From the night we met, Justin has been there for every major event and crisis of my life including the birth of Gus and my father's death. Almost losing my job to a bogus Sexual Harassment lawsuit, John's lie about molestation, Stockwell and Cancer were other examples of how he'd been there. Whether it was just him listening or gathering information to help me out like the situation with John, he did more than just sit there. Sometimes it was just knowing that he supported me throughout it all, that made the difference. I never wanted to depend on another person for anything, yet I found myself doing just that with Justin. The more I fought against loving him, the deeper I fell. It's like a rip current- the harder you fight to swim against it, the faster you sink or the more exhausted you get. The funny thing is that Justin is easy to love unlike me. He isn't whiny or dependent nor is he aloof or combative. You never have to wonder what he's thinking- at least most of the time. From speaking with Daphne, I know that the distance and scheduling has taken a toll on him just as it has me but I think it was harder for Justin. I also know that for a period of time, something happened to change Justin but he hasn't said what and although my initial inclination is to push, I won't do that. He'll come to me or tell me when he's ready... if he ever is. All I know is that I can't lose him again. Yeah, he broke my heart once but considering how many times I've bruised and broken his, I'd call us even. If he leaves this time, I know I won't survive it.

I feel it's out of my hands

Can't think twice, it's much too right

This may be my only chance

Don't go**

Damn how morbid are my thoughts. Anyway, he's not going anywhere because I won't let him. It's as simple and plain as that. We've worked too hard, have sacrificed too much. I know it sounds kind of stalker-ish but there it is. He's. NOT. Going. I've always been the type to achieve whatever I set my mind to and this is no different. He's spent the better part of his adult years making me admit things and making me feel things so now it's my turn. I know beyond everything, including his sudden need to be free of me, that he loves me. Not superficially but that deep and abiding love that people spend their entire lives searching for; that elusive depth of emotion that permeates everything from decisions to the act of breathing. He's in love with me and I am with him. I just have to make him remember that he is. He hasn't stopped loving me and he never will but he has managed to suppress it- I know that all too well. So now the time has come again to put up or shut up and I have no intention of giving up. Of course there could be meaningless romantic gestures but really what tops a house? No, the key to Justin is much more elemental and primitive than anything I could buy for him. Besides he has his own money and could buy it for himself. What could I offer him at this point except all of me- my fears, my triumphs- my heart which is what he's wanted all along. I know he's had it even if I didn't tell him or show him that it belonged to him everyday. And he knows he has it, too. He wouldn't have stuck it out if he was unsure. No, our problem is that although I've wanted him and vice versa, I've been guilty of the same thing Justin has. I haven't asked for what it is I've wanted too afraid of stunting his growth as a man and as an artist. Too afraid of needing him. Well it's now or never. Either I show it to him or he's gone and that is just... unacceptable to me.

I've been such a fool, To have kept my love from you

Could have lost your love, Searching for the truth

Don't go**

I haven't set foot in the master bedroom since I had it remodeled. I've been sleeping in one of the numerous guest rooms instead. I hadn't had a desire to enter it until Justin came home. Opening the door and guiding him inside, I'd forgotten how much this really is our room.Everything in it, from the cherry wood furniture to the organza and cashmere drapes is ours. The bay windows and doors filled the room with bright sunlight which bounced off Justin's blond locks just like I'd always imagined it would when he'd finally came here.

"You like it?" I asked already knowing the answer but needing to hear it anyway.

"I can't believe you remembered, Brian." His voice was full of awe. We'd talked about the design at length on the way back to Pittsburgh the day after we got engaged.

"How could I forget? A whole half hour of listening to you ramble about designs and patterns on the way back to the loft while stuck in traffic."

Justin laughed. "You did your fair share of rambling yourself. When did you do this?"

I couldn't help but shift from foot to foot in nervousness. I'd already told him that I've been living here for the past nine years but admitting that I'd had the house redecorated while I was missing in action for the eighteen months after he left...well that was another matter. But I can't lie to him, not at this stage and no matter how tempting it may be to save face. "It was one of the first rooms I had redone before I moved in but I haven't been in here in awhile." He looked at me waiting for me to finish. "I didn't want to be in here without you." There I said it. Now it was my turn to wait.

Justin walked from bedroom to the walk-in closet, stopping to peek inside the bathroom and finally to the bay windows which lead to the balcony outside of our bedroom. I watched the blue eyes take in the landscape; watched the steady rise and fall of his chest as he absorbed everything he'd seen and heard from me so far. He moved to stand directly in front of me and although I itched to grab him, I stood there and let him touch me. This had to go at his pace for so many reasons; it had to be his decision how far he wanted this to go and how fast. I know that sounds strange coming from a known and self-proclaimed control-freak but I know what I'm doing when it comes to Justin. It's about Free Will- a concept that makes this his decision now. Mine is made and no, I'm not above seducing him until agrees to what I want but it wouldn't mean that he would stay. I could kiss and fuck him to within an inch of his life but it would be just a fuck to him. We would get off but it would still mean ‘goodbye' instead of him actually acknowledging that he wants to try this for real.  

"Brian, why do you want this now?"

"The question, Sunshine is why don't you?"

"It's not that I don't...not exactly." He swallowed hard and licked his lips. Standing there while he's unbuttoning my shirt and not touching him in return is slowly killing me but I know everything has to come from him in this moment. "It's just that it may be too late, Brian. That's not to say that I want it to be. There's nothing I've wanted more than this but our lives are so different now. I'm not that little kid who used to follow you around."

"I know that, Justin, probably better than most. In fact, I know that better than everyone except probably you yourself. And I've never treated you like you were mindless; never handled you like a kid."

"No, you haven't."

"So what's the real problem, Justin?" I have to ask it and he has to answer. If he really wants to be with me, then what's stopping him?

He hesitates and then kisses me skillfully in the way I like to be kissed. I know he's evading the question but because his lips, his scent, his nearness- everything about him- makes me instantly aware of him, I'll let him get away with it...for now. It escalates quickly which is another thing I don't mind. I haven't laid eyes on him in a year but it feels like it's been a century. As hungry as I am for him, he appears to be just as thirsty for me. The whimpers and moans escaping him tells me that. The feel of his nails scraping down my spine makes me involuntarily shiver while I'm constantly devouring his lips. I want to be in him-no scratch that- I need to be inside of him so fucking badly, that it's taking all of my focus not to strip him and flip him onto the bed in the center of the room. But I won't do anything beyond this until he asks for it.

Let's make sweet love tonight

I won't put up any fight

Your wish is my command**

Before I realize that we moved from the bay windows, I'm falling back on the bed with Justin towering over me. No one on earth could perform an eye fuck like Justin. Everywhere he looks on my body, feels like he's penetrating me- looking into me. It makes me feel hot and cold at the same time and increases my appetite for him to ravenous. As if reading my mind, Justin finishes undressing and climbs onto me. The skin-to-skin contact is incendiary as he begins kissing me again and rubbing himself all over me.

"God, I've missed this," Justin says and I can't help the small smile that formed on my lips in response.

Justin reached over to the side table and my wallet, opening it with a slight smirk finding a condom and a small tube of lube in it's normal compartment. My predictability in that regard is something he and I will always be grateful for. He doesn't waste any time preparing me or himself. Rolling the condom down my dick, he takes the opportunity to give me a hand job while plunging lubricated fingers in and out of himself. The moans and groan coming from both of us told me that we wouldn't last long this first time out. Pulling him over me, I kissed him deeply as he settled on top. I swallowed his gasp as I felt my dick breach both rings of muscle; felt him slowly sliding down, taking me in inch by inch. I held myself perfectly still absorbing the heat from him as he fully encased me, giving him time to adjust to the fullness. It took every ounce of restraint in me not to ram my hips upward while holding him down by the shoulders, making him take me hard and fast but this was Justin's show. If there was a time when words failed, our non-verbal communication never did. That's what sex is for us mostly- a way to say the things which could never be spoken aloud. Sure it's fun and burns a shit load of calories but it's also when Justin can't hide things from me and vice versa. We're most honest and vulnerable when we fuck. It's just our way.

Lay me down upon my bed

And make me feel the heat

Of your body next to mine

I just have one demand

Don't go**

Justin rode me fast and furiously, rotating his hips at the base to swipe across his sweet spot. His nails raked down my chest while my fingers dug into his sides. I knew there would be bruises on his fair skin but he didn't care; neither did I. The frenzied pace he set was punishing, an inhale on his ascension and an exhale of emotion on his descent. His eyes held mine captive measuring my understanding of what he could not and would not speak, letting his body convey the messages. The fear. The ecstasy. His wants and needs. The challenge of keeping him. I gripped his shoulder-length hair, pulling his face closer to mine while he continued to grind down onto me. I wanted him to see the assurance that this is what I want more than anything, willed him to see my acceptance of his challenge and my ambition in meeting it; I am not letting Justin Taylor go...EVER.

You send chills down my spine

I surrendered all my love

You captured all my life**

"Mine," I said through gritted teeth. A moan of surrender escaped him. I repeated it so that there would be no mistake or misunderstanding between us. He was here and here was where he was going to stay.

In just one night of ecstasy, You brought me to my knees**

Flipping him on his back without breaking the connection, I set about making him mine all over again just as I had some almost fifteen years ago. There was no fucking way, I wasn't going to fight for him with everything in me. Just like I fought for my life escaping my father and the streets in a past I won't talk about. Just like I fought the bullies who wanted to beat me down because I liked dick. Just like I fought for my scholarships and my career and my business. I will fight for the most important person in my life. Without Justin, I merely exist. He makes me want to live. I never feel more alive or aware than when I'm with him and I cannot go back to that other existence. I will not go back.

Your first bite was just too strong, You left a scar on me**

Justin's body stiffened underneath me and I knew he was coming right before I felt the sticky wetness between us and felt him tremble. I fucked him through it and then released within his tight ass. I wiped the tear out of the corner of his eyes while just looking at him in our bed where he belonged.

"Love me, Justin," I whispered hoarsely.

"I already do," he answered equally gruff.

"Then give me what I'm asking for."

"Ninety days. You've already got it."

"No. Forever. That's what I want."

"Brian-"

"Don't tell me ‘no' just yet, Sunshine. I know what you want and vice versa."

"But?"

"No buts. I promised you time. That's all it ever is. We've given everyone else their time; now it's ours."

"'It's only time.'" Justin smiled slightly. "Those were the last words you said to me before I left for New York. So what is this? Full-circle?"

"No. Their hourglass has run out. Their time's up. And ours is just beginning."

Don't go nowhere, you know I care

Stay right here with me forever, baby

I need you right here with me

Don't go**

**Don't Go (sung by En Vogue)- McElroy, Thomas Derrick/ Foster, Denzi