Almost But Not Quite

Chapter 13





Justin drove his mother’s car along Liberty Avenue. He’d have to get some wheels of his own. He was sick of living at home, working for his father, driving his mother’s car, carpooling to work with his father. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be when he graduated from universityHe shook his head.

He looked along Liberty. It hadn’t changed much since the day he had come there with Daphne to find an outfit to wear to his first art show at the Gay and Lesbian Center. He smiled a little at the memory. He had been terrified to be on Liberty Avenue again, so soon after his abbreviated meeting with Brian. He kept expecting Brian to pop up at any minute, and sweep him off his feet, or sneak into the fitting room of Torso and fuck him senseless, or walk right past him and not care that he was there. But none of those things had happened.

With a sigh Justin pulled into a parking space down the street from Torso. He turned off the engine and sat there for a minute.

What was he doing there? Looking for something to wear to Babylon was the quick answer. Getting more comfortable with his own sexuality was part of a more complicated answer. Trying to find the outfit that would seduce Brian Kinney and would lead to the night with the handsome brunet that had been stolen from him so many years before. That was the actual reason.

Justin got out of the car. He locked it and started walking towards Torso. He let his mind wander back to that first night on Liberty, remembering how afraid he had been. But he also had had determination. He had been sure of what he wanted that night. He didn’t think he had ever been that sure about anything since.

Stopping in front of Torso, Justin looked at the suggestive clothing in the window. Was he more ready to wear that now than he had been four years ago? He doubted it. He pushed open the door of Torso, wondering if that guy who had waited on him back then would still be there.

Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on your point of view, there was a new sales person that Justin had never seen before. This guy wasn’t nearly as exuberant or out there as the other one had been. In fact this one seemed rather bored. He found a few outfits for Justin to try on, after Justin had looked through the racks. The guy didn’t suggest anything or make any encouraging comments when Justin pirouetted in front of the mirror with an outfit on. Justin wondered how the guy made any sales, but in the end Justin picked one of the outfits and paid for it. Maybe the salesclerk had the right idea after all.

As he walked back to the car, Justin couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like at Babylon that night. He wanted to see Brian again, wanted to dance with him, wanted … everything.



*****



Brian dried himself off, having just showered. He fastened the towel around his hips. It was already almost eleven. He had been going to go to Woody’s until it was time for Babylon, but something had held him back. The guys would have been there, and they might have suspected that he … sorta kinda had a date. And how the fuck was he going to explain that? Brian wasn’t at all sure what he was doing with this Justin Taylor, and he definitely knew that he wouldn’t be able to explain it to the boiz. Hell, he couldn’t fucking explain it to himself.

Brian threw some clothes on the bed and looked at them. Maybe he should just forget this whole thing. He could go to the baths and get his dick sucked, and nobody would be any the wiser. He could tell Michael and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern that something had come up. They all understood what that meant.

But then … what about Justin Taylor? Fuck! Brian didn’t want to hurt him. He was definitely attracted to the blond. He would like nothing better than to fuck him. So, why the fuck was he doing all this dating crap, or whatever the fuck it was? He should go to Babylon, find the blond and bring him back here to fuck. Maybe one dance would be enough to accomplish that. With a little bit of luck he might not even run into the gang. Maybe they’d be too busy hooking up for the evening. Yeah, right! Who was he kidding? They’d be at the bar waiting for him to arrive. Then they could watch his latest exploits.

With a heavy sigh, Brian began to put on the outfit he had selected.



*****



Justin got out of the cab and looked down the alley to Babylon. There was already a long lineup. He sighed. There was a chance that he might not even get in. He’d be standing outside while Brian found someone else inside. Shit! He knew he should have come earlier, but he hadn’t wanted to seem too eager. He got into line behind the last person.

“Hey!” the guy in front of him said, turning to size him up. “I haven’t seen you around here before.”

“That’s because I haven’t been here before.”

“You should go to the front of the line,” the guy said appraisingly.

“I should?”

“Yeah, you’re hot!”

“I am?”

The guy laughed. “Yeah, sweetie pie, and so fucking adorable to boot.”

Justin frowned. He wasn’t used to this kind of thing happening to him. He’d been hit on before, but not like this. Is this what Babylon was all about? Justin wondered if he should just leave. It didn’t look like he’d get into the club for at least another hour.

“Save me a dance when we get inside?” the guy persisted.

“Actually, I’m supposed to be meeting somebody here,” Justin explained.

“Isn’t everybody?” the guy said knowingly.

The man obviously didn’t believe him. “He’ll be here,” Justin said defiantly.

The guy made some kind of noise that said he didn’t believe that either. “You won’t find anybody better than me,” the guy told him.

“I’ll take my chances,” Justin retorted.



*****



Brian found a spot for his Jeep and headed into the alley that led to the entrance of Babylon. He saw a familiar blond head at the end of the line of men waiting to be admitted to the club. Justin looked hot. He had tight jeans and a sweater that skimmed his slim chest. It looked soft and … very touchable, as did what was underneath it.

Brian moved closer. He heard Justin tell the guy in front of him that he was meeting someone. Me, Brian thought with a smirk. He heard the guy telling Justin he wouldn’t find anybody better than himself. Brian snorted and stepped forward.

“He already has found somebody better,” Brian declared and gave the guy a withering death glare. The man turned around immediately. He didn’t want to mess with Brian fucking Kinney.

“Brian,” Justin said with relief in his voice. “I … I didn’t know where to meet you.”

“Come with me,” Brian ordered. He took Justin’s elbow and propelled him to the front of the line.

“But…” Justin tried to protest. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself when they turned him away.

“Hey, Brian,” the bouncer at the door said.

“Hey, he’s with me,” Brian proclaimed and they slipped into the club.

“How … how did you do that?” Justin asked.

“They know me.”

“Seems like they do,” Justin said looking at Brian with different eyes. The bouncer knew Brian’s name, and he had let them right in. How much time did Brian spend there?

He was about to ask when Brian said, “Let’s get a drink.” Brian pushed Justin ahead of him towards the bar. He ordered two shots of scotch and immediately threw his shot back. Justin sipped his. He looked around at the barely clad men on the platforms that surrounded the dance floor. The men on the dance floor didn’t have a lot more on themselves. Justin suddenly felt overdressed.

“Interesting place,” Justin finally yelled to Brian above the thumpa thumpa of the music.

“I take it that gay dance clubs aren’t really your scene,” Brian observed.

“Is it that obvious?” Justin joked.

“Just a tad.”

“I bought a clubbing outfit specifically for tonight,” Justin said holding his arms out so that Brian could get a good look.

“I approve.” Brian felt his cock harden at the thought of divesting the scrumptious Mr. Taylor of his clubbing clothes. “Do you dance?’

“I’ve been known to.”

“Come on.” Brian led him out onto the dance floor.

Justin was all set to show off some of the moves that he and Daphne had perfected over the years when they were in high school. He never got the chance. Brian pulled him against his body and started grinding his crotch against Justin’s. Justin gasped as he realized what Brian was doing. He had never “danced” like this. Brian’s hot breath was against Justin’s ear, followed closely by his tongue. Justin felt himself grow hard.

“Brian,” Justin groaned.

“Want to get out of here?” Brian whispered in his ear.

“I…”

“Brian! Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you,” a voice whined from behind Justin.

Justin forced his eyes to focus on the source of the voice.

“Mikey,” Brian said, “what the fuck do you want?”

Justin recognized the dark man who had called Brian away from him that night on Liberty Avenue. He groaned inwardly. Was this guy going to take Brian away from him again?

“We were up on the catwalk and we saw you dancing,” this Mikey person said. “You were supposed to meet us.” There was a hint of accusation in the man’s words, Justin realized. And a great deal of possessiveness, if Justin was interpreting those words correctly.

“I’m busy,” Brian stated shoving his hard dick against Justin’s groin.

“Briiiaaan,” Mikey whined. “Come have a drink with us. Ted and Emmett are over by the bar.”

“We were just about to leave,” Brian said.

“Come have a drink with us, and then you can take him to the back room.”

“Excuse me!” Justin interrupted indignantly. He had no intention of going to the back room, and he certainly wasn’t going to be told what to do by this Mikey person.

“Don’t mind Mikey. He has no manners,” Brian told Justin.

“Brian, come on,” Mikey practically begged. “I never get to see you anymore.”

“I’m busy, and I thought you and the professor would be at home playing happy fags.”

“I’m out tonight. Ben’s teaching an evening class.”

“Fuck!” Brian reacted. “Okay, one drink and then we’re gone.”

Mikey smiled. He had got his way. Brian grabbed Justin’s hand and led him over to the bar. Justin felt relief that Brian hadn’t abandoned him in the middle of the dance floor to go with his friend. He supposed he should be happy with small mercies such as that. However, he just felt ticked that his night with Brian had been interrupted by Brian’s whiny friend once again.

“Two scotch,” Brian told the bartender.

“And who do we have here?”

Justin glanced at the man who asked that question. He immediately recognized the guy from Torso, his first visit there. Emmett, yes, that was the name, was wearing tangerine leather pants and a see through top. Where else could that outfit have come from except Torso?

“My name’s Justin.”

“I’m Emmett. And what a cutie pie you are! How does Mr. Kinney find them?” Then Emmett frowned as he studied Justin. Justin thought maybe he recognized him. “That outfit came from Torso, didn’t it?’

Justin chuckled. He supposed he wasn’t nearly as recognizable as he thought he was. Brian didn’t remember him, and now neither did Emmett. “Yes, the outfit’s from Torso. Isn’t yours?”

“Yes, it is. I used to work there.”

“But you don’t anymore?” Justin asked. Brian handed Justin one of the glasses of scotch and he took a sip of the strong liquor.

“No, I’ve started my own party planning business,” Emmett said proudly.

“Emmett’s in fag heaven telling people how to decorate and what to eat,” the other man at the bar said. “Hi, I’m Ted.”

“Hello, Ted,” Justin said shaking Ted’s hand.

“Have we met before, sweetie?” Emmett asked.

“Why, do I look familiar?”

“Yes, yes, you do.”

“But you don’t remember from where?” Justin teased.

“No, but I could swear…”

“No swearing in my presence,” Brian stated tongue in cheek.

“Yeah, that would make his sensitive widdle ears burn,” the Mikey guy piped up.

“Always looking out for me, aren’t you?” Brian asked pulling Mikey into a hug.

“You know we always look out for each other,” Mikey said.

“The Brian and Michael show,” Ted said rather sarcastically.

“You’re jealous because you’ve never been part of any kind of a show,” Brian retorted rather uncharitably.

Ted scowled and said, “At least I understand when it’s a show, unlike some of us.” He looked knowingly at Michael.

Brian merely raised an eyebrow and polished off his drink. “Time to go,” Brian said.

“Wait, Brian. Dance with me before you leave,” Michael pleaded.

Brian looked at Justin who shrugged. Justin wanted to leave, but he wouldn’t stoop to being a whiny shit like Michael was. He seriously hoped he was a cut above the tactics Michael used to get Brian’s attention. However, Michael had effectively managed to ruin their evening.

“Come on, Brian. One dance,” Michael begged.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Brian said to Justin as he let Michael drag him out onto the dance floor.

“Does Michael always get his way?” Justin asked Ted and Emmett, interested to find out more about this man with claims on Brian, and horrible timing where Justin was concerned.

“With Brian?” Ted asked with a laugh. “He doesn’t get nearly everything he wants, not by a long shot. And he never will. But I guess he gets enough.”

“There’s never enough,” Emmett observed, “to quote our fearless leader.”

“Sometimes there’s too much,” Justin said watching Michael fawning all over Brian.

“How long have you known Brian?” Emmett asked observing Justin’s reaction to the Brian and Michael show on the dance floor.

“Why do you ask?”

“You don’t seem like one of Brian’s usual tricks.”

“I’m not a trick,” Justin declared. He had decided that he wasn’t going to settle for that tonight, or maybe ever.

Ted nearly spit out his beer when Justin made that declaration. “It certainly appears that Brian thinks you are.”

“Is that right?” Justin asked with a frown.

“Brian doesn’t do anything but tricks,” Ted said. “You get one night and then you’re out.”

“That sounds like Project Runway,” Emmett chuckled.

Justin looked at the two men and then out to the dance floor where Michael and Brian were still dancing. “I have to go,” he said. “Tell Brian I’ll see him another time.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Ted called after him as Justin headed out of the club.

Justin stepped outside and walked to the corner to grab a cab. He felt a huge pressure in his chest, and there seemed to be tears that wanted to come out of his eyes for some reason. He fought them back as he climbed into the cab. He wouldn’t cry over Brian Kinney. He had done that once before, and it had got him nowhere. This time it would be different. It was time to cut Brian Kinney out of his life and out of his memory. Obviously they weren’t meant to be together. He’d wasted enough of his life thinking and dreaming about Brian Kinney. He finally recognized a lost cause for what it was.

He gave the cab driver his home address and leaned back into the soft seat. It was time he got on with his life. Tomorrow he would tell his father he was gay, and he would find a car and start looking for an apartment of his own. Then he had to decide what he was going to do with the rest of his life. Tomorrow was going to be one hell of a day.



*****



Brian finally got Michael to let him go and he walked back to the bar. Emmett and Ted were still propped against the bar, but there was no sign of Justin.

“Did Justin go to the restroom?” Brian asked with a frown.

“You know his name?” Michael asked.

“Yes, I fucking know his name. Where is he?”

“He left,” Ted said. “He asked us to tell you that he’d see you another time.”

“Fuck!” Brian said as he stared at the exit of Babylon.