Almost But Not Quite

Chapter 6





"Come on, Justin. Hurry up," Daphne called as she waited at the door to the Gay and Lesbian Center which was located just off Liberty Avenue.

"What are we doing here?" Justin asked as he caught up with her.

"You'll find out. Follow me," Daphne ordered as she pushed the door open and walked inside.

Justin followed her a little reluctantly. She had hijacked him after school and made him go with her. He had no idea they were heading to Pittsburgh's Gay and Lesbian Center. If he had, he wasn't sure whether he would have come with her or not. Daphne and Justin stood looking around at the inside of the building. No one seemed to be around.

"What are we doing here?" Justin asked. He felt funny being in this place, even though it was for gays and lesbians. Not being out with his sexuality made him feel a little uncomfortable about stepping inside the GLC.

"They're having an art show," Daphne stated.

"So?" Justin asked with a frown.

"May I help you?" a pretty blond woman asked as she came through a door.

"I hope so," Daphne said with a smile. "I'm Daphne Chanders and this is my friend, Justin Taylor. He's an artist."

"Is he now?" the woman asked as she shook hands with Daphne and then Justin. Justin could feel her eyes studying him, probing to size him up. He didn't like that feeling very much. "So, you're an artist?" she said, her voice soft but not overly friendly.

Justin felt himself blush. "I want to be."

"Show her some of your sketches, Justin," Daphne prodded, giving him a little elbow to the ribs.

"I … I don't want to take up your time," Justin said modestly. He wasn't sure he wanted this stranger looking at his sketches. He liked them, but they were very personal.

"I have time," the blond lady chuckled. Her demeanor seemed to change when Justin said he didn’t want to use up her time. "I'd love to see your work. I'm Lindsay by the way."

Justin nodded and reached around to pull his backpack off and find his sketchbook. "Can I choose the ones you look at?" he asked before he opened the pad.

"Of course," Lindsay replied. She watched with interest as Justin pulled out his pair of sketchbooks that he always carried with him.

Justin flipped through the first sketchbook. He stopped at a sketch of Chris Hobbs in his football uniform. He had captured the well formed ass with the tight pants covering it. Chris’ shoulders were bulky with the pads, but they showed the football star perfectly, at least in Justin's eyes. He pulled that sketch carefully out of the book and handed it to Lindsay. While she looked at that one, Justin pulled out the sketch he had done of Brian's back. And also the sketch of Brian's beautiful eyes. He then pulled out the sketch of his jeans jacket and handed it to Lindsay.

Lindsay studied the four sketches. She knew talent when she saw it. "These are very good," she said slowly as she continued to look at them, flipping from one to the other.

"Thanks," Justin said. “Do you really think so?” He wanted an honest answer. He reached for the sketches. If they were just good, then he had no chance of making it in the art world. They were his best stuff.

Lindsay stepped back so that Justin couldn't retrieve the sketches. She continued to stare at them. Just then a baby's cry rang through the building.

"Oh, excuse me," Lindsay said, handing the sketches back to Justin. "That's my son. I need to see to him. Can you wait for a minute?"

"Sure," Daphne replied as Lindsay hurried into the room they had first seen her come out of.

"Let's go," Justin said, shoving the sketches carefully back into his sketchbook.

"She asked us to stay," Daphne told him. "Wait."

Justin shook his head. He knew from Lindsay's reaction that she wasn't overwhelmed by his sketches. He didn't want to be patted on the head and told that his sketches were nice. Fuck that shit! He wanted to get out of there.

"Sorry about the interruption, but Abe wanted to be changed," Lindsay said as she finally returned carrying her baby.

"He's beautiful," Daphne gushed. "Can I hold him?"

"Sure," Lindsay smiled. She handed the baby to Daphne.

Justin looked at the little bundle. He sure was a cute baby. Justin's fingers itched to sketch the little face. "We should get going. Don't want to take up any more of your time," Justin muttered.

"I'm getting ready for our art show," Lindsay said cheerfully. "It starts Friday night. Would you like to see some of the pieces that are going to be in the show?"

"Um … I…" Justin stammered. He didn't really want to look at artwork that Lindsay obviously considered better than his.

"Go on, Justin. I'll mind the baby," Daphne encouraged him. She carried Abe over to a chair and sat down, holding the baby carefully in her lap.

"Come with me," Lindsay said leading Justin to the back of the hall. "These are some of the pieces that have been framed." She pointed at some paintings and sketches leaning against the wall. Justin walked along the line of them studying each in a cursory manner. "What do you think of them?" Lindsay asked him.

"Um … this one's good," Justin said pointing to a painting of two men locked in a kiss.

"Yes, that's one of my favorites too."

"Really?" Justin asked turning to face her.

"I'd like you to submit your four sketches for the show."

"You would?" Justin asked in surprise.

"I would," Lindsay laughed. "You're very talented."

"But…"

"But what?" Lindsay asked with a frown.

"You didn't say much when you looked at them. I didn't think you liked them."

Lindsay chuckled. "I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. I was studying your work. I don’t like to make hasty decisions. I think you have talent, Justin. I could see that immediately. But…"

"But?" Justin asked feeling his heart sink.

"There's something about those eyes that you sketched. They're mesmerizing. I guess I was staring at them rather than complimenting you."

"Oh!"

"Whose eyes are they?"

"Um … just someone I met a few months ago."

"You don't know their name?"

"No, why?" Justin lied. He knew they were Brian’s eyes, but he didn’t want to get into an explanation of why he had drawn them and how he had come to encounter his Brian.

"They seem very familiar to me."

"I doubt that you and I would know the same people," Justin said quickly.

"Why's that? You're gay, aren't you?"

Justin blushed. "Yeah, but I'm not out to my family or anyone … but Daphne."

"I see," Lindsay replied slowly. She studied his handsome face. "Would you like your work in our show?"

"It would be awesome, but…"

"But you don't want anyone to know about you," Lindsay said sympathetically.

Justin nodded. "I'm not ready to tell my parents … yet."

"I’ve always found that honesty is the best policy, but I can understand how difficult it can be to tell your family.” She thought about the reaction of her own parents to her and Melanie being a couple. “I think it's very unlikely that anyone from your circle of family and friends would be here for the show."

"That's true," Justin said hopefully.

"I’d really like to include your sketches in the show. You haven't signed your pieces. You could use a pseudonym or your initials. No one has to know who you are."

"Cool," Justin smiled. "But you're selling the art for fundraising, right?"

"Yes. All proceeds go to the Center. If you don't want them sold, we can mark them as 'not for sale'."

"Oh no, it would be cool to sell some of my work, even if I don't get the proceeds. I just wondered if someone bought something … wouldn't they want to know who drew it?"

"We could just say it was the work of JT, an up and coming young artist."

Justin's grin almost split his face. "That would be awesome!"

"Then let's see about getting your sketches framed."

Justin and Lindsay picked out some frames for the sketches while Daphne continued to rock Baby Abe. It didn't take long to make the choices, and Lindsay informed Justin that he could see them framed if he came back to the Center in a couple of days.

"I'd love to draw Abe," Justin said staring at Daphne and the baby. "He's so cute."

"He is pretty awesome, isn't he?" Lindsay said proudly. The smile on her face reflected her love and pride.

"He looks a bit like you around the mouth, but his eyes…"

"They're like his father's," Lindsay supplied. "That's where the dark hair comes from."

"Are you married to the father?" Justin asked with a frown. He thought Lindsay was probably gay since she was working at the Center.

"Oh, no, he's an old friend of mine," Lindsay said, her face softening at the thought. "I'm a lesbian. My partner is Melanie, but..." She stopped not wanting to explain that she and her partner were currently separated.

"Oh," Justin said when Lindsay stopped. Her family story was quite a bit to take in all at once. "Um … I'd still like to draw Abe."

"Maybe when you come to see the framed sketches we could find some time for you to do that," Lindsay suggested.

"That would be awesome."

Lindsay smiled. "I guess I'll see you in a couple of days. Come after school and I should be here … with Abe."

"That's a date," Justin laughed as Daphne handed the baby to his mother. They quickly left the Center.



*****



"Yeah?" Brian said into the phone as he picked it up.

"Brian, it's Lindsay."

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

"You mean other than the fact that I'm unemployed with no prospects in the foreseeable future. Why nothing's wrong, nothing at all," Brian responded sarcastically.

"I'm sorry about all the … problems. I just thought you might like to come to the Center for our art show Friday night."

"Why the fuck would I want to do that?"

"I thought it might cheer you up," Lindsay said. "You don't have to be so nasty about it."

Brian sighed. "Don't count on me."

"It would be good for you to get out and participate in your community," Lindsay said. She knew Brian had been holed up in his loft since Ryder had dismissed him. "You can't stay in your loft forever."

"I can do whatever the fuck I want to!"

"I … I know you can," Lindsay conceded. "But locking yourself away isn't doing you any good."

Brian had to give her that one. He felt more shitty as each day went by. "I'll see what comes up on Friday."

Lindsay knew what that meant. "If you come around seven, I'll have Abe there. Wouldn't you like to see him?"

Brian frowned. He had made every attempt to keep his distance from his son. Abraham, how the fuck he hated that name, was Lindsay and Melanie's son, not his. And yet, Lindsay insisted on trying to throw them together at every opportunity. He had to admit that somewhere deep inside he wanted to see his son, wanted to hold him.

"Um … I doubt I'll be there," Brian said, deciding he couldn't let himself have those thoughts.

"Please, Brian, for me," Lindsay wheedled.

He'd always had trouble refusing her anything. "I'll see," he said grudgingly.

"Thanks."

He could hear the smile in her voice. "I didn't promise," he cautioned.

"I know," she replied cheerfully.

'Shit!' he thought. ‘She's expecting me to be there.’

"See you Friday," she added before cutting the connection.

Brian stared at the phone for a minute before setting it back in the base. He was screwed. He might as well reconcile himself to going to the art show. He wondered why it mattered to him that he not let Lindsay down. Maybe it mattered because she was one of his only true friends, she and Michael.

It was too bad that Michael was involved with Dr. Dave. He was some sort of hotshot chiropractor that Michael had met when he put his back out at work. Dr. Dave worked on the Pittsburgh Penguins hockey team, and seemed to think he was God's gift to … Michael. David Cameron hated Brian, and Brian detested him right back. Brian found him to be a pompous prick who liked nothing better than to control every detail of Michael's life. They had recently moved in together, or rather Michael had moved in with Dr. Dave. That meant that Michael had even less control over his own life. Dr. Dave paid for everything and decided everything. Brian had tried to warn Michael. But when his mild warnings went unheeded, Brian decided he better stay out of it.

Brian would have liked to spend the evening with Michael, but he refused to call his friend and cause problems with the good doctor. He sighed and headed for the refrigerator. He needed something to eat. He had never felt so alone in all his life.