The Guy Next Door. by starlight


The couple, Phillip and Grace, were driving me up the wall. They kept stopping to check out things. I wanted to yell at them that the fucking beach looks the same every time they stopped, asking me to take pictures of them.

“Sorry, we just got married,” Philip tells me.

“We just want pictures to show everyone when we get back home.” She gushes.

“We really didn’t plan to go to Sandcove, but we heard they have a lot of free things you can do there,” Phillip tells me.

“My boyfriend is running the campaign. I should have come with him, but I couldn’t leave town when he did. He’s likely driving all the men crazy, waiting for me to show up. Guys are all jealous that they can’t have him. Hell, even straight guys want him.” I brag.

“Boyfriend?” Phillip asks.

“We’ve been together for years. Well, as friends, but we are moving towards a relationship.” I tell them.

“You’re a sodomite?” Grace asks.

I realized maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Phillip started smiling at me, and it worried me for a second.

“Grace, it’s not a big deal.” He tells her.

“Sorry, I was just kidding. We should go if we’re going to get to town.” She tells us.

I walked behind them when they walked to the car. I was ready to tell them not to worry, that I could get there on my own. I checked my wallet, and I had enough to get there if I was careful with what I spent. They seemed harmless enough, so I figured I would just ditch them when we got into town. When we got back on the road, I closed my eyes, figuring I could take a nap so they wouldn’t need to bother with me. I woke up when the car stopped and didn’t see anything that looked like the beach.

“We wanted to stop and see a family friend,” Phillip tells me.

“I can find a way to Sandcove, I really wanted to get there today,” I tell him, refraining from sneering at them.

I followed them into the house, hoping it would be a short visit. An older woman came out with drinks, handing them out to each of us. I took it, trying to figure out how to hurry this up.

“I really need to get going,” I tell them, downing the drink and going to the door.

“Now son, we wouldn’t be good hosts if we let you leave.” She tells me.

“Why not?” I ask.

“You most likely won’t make it very far.” She tells me, and I’m feeling kind of weird.

“Don’t worry Michael, they’ll help set you on the right path. Phillip and I were confused like you are...” Was all I heard.


Brian was calling around to see if he could find someone to work on a problem with the graphics for the screens. I sat there wondering if he remembered there was someone sitting in front of him that could probably help him. Granted I was building a huge mound of sand, and that possibly made him forget what I used to do. Daphne, Ben, and Blake were helping me gather the sand from different places so we didn’t leave a huge crater with the amount of sand I needed.

“He does realize that you and I could do what he wants, right?” Daphne asks me.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to assume you would do it,” Blake tells me, sitting down.

“He might think it would be taking advantage of your relationship. Why not offer to help him.” Ben tells me.

“I didn’t want him to feel like he had to say yes,” I tell him.

“Say yes to what?” Riley asks, dropping his board.

“To helping him with whatever graphics problem he’s having. Just because we’re together doesn’t mean he wants me and Daphne to help him.” I tell him.

“Justin, will you help my company by helping Brian with whatever the hell had me running from Ginger a few minutes ago. She is losing her shit that everything won’t be perfect.” Riley tells me.

“Ginger needs to take a few Xanax. Anybody want to slip them in her drink?” Gran asks us.

“Mother, how many times have I told you, no slipping people drugs.” My mom tells her, laughing.

I got up and ran to my mom. She told me she wasn’t sure if she was coming. “I have so much to tell you,” I tell her.

“How fucking hard is it to get this shit right?” Brian growls into the phone.

“Jen, meet Justin’s boyfriend.” Gran tells her.

“He’s normally much more friendly after getting laid,” Deb tells her.

“I think they switched you and Deb at birth,” Riley tells my mom.

“Brian, come over and meet Justin’s mother, so she doesn’t think you're a foul mouth hooligan,” Gran tells him.

“Trust me, it’s what makes Brian lovable,” Deb tells my mom.

“After being raised by the biggest hooligan on the planet, I’m sure Brian won’t be any worse,” Mom tells her.

“I was dealing with a problem I thought was solved. It’s nice to meet you.” Brian tells my mom.

“You know, Daphne and I could probably help you,” I tell him.

“I know you could, but my team needs to be able to solve these problems. I don’t want us to always have to stay in Pittsburgh.” He tells me.

“I want you to be able to spend time having fun with Gus. Tonight we have to get the statues all over town, so I’ll be busy.” I tell him.

“I let you help if you take a nap with me. Only a nap.” He tells me.

“I need to get everything done,” I tell him.

“Justin, between Deb, Vic, Emmett, and I the cooking is covered. Vic said you told him everything you needed to be marinated, and what he doesn’t know we’ll improvise.” Gran tells me.

“For me, I need a nap after last night,” Brian tells me.

I didn’t need to tell Brian what announcing anything like that would do with the group of pervs in front of us. They all hooted and whistled for us to show them.

“I guess we’re taking a nap. Just show me what the problem is first.” I tell him, yawning.

“It sounds like I need to get to know you. He never gives in this easily.” My mom tells him.


Brian went with Justin when he got finished, and told me to make sure he didn’t wake up to chaos. Jen was sitting in at the table reading a recipe, ignoring Gran.

“How did you end up like your father, needing directions in order to do anything? Even with a road map, he managed to get lost on the road. Don’t even get me started on his total lack of understanding anything to do with the female…”

“I know Mother. How he managed to make me was the mystery of the ages.” Jen tells Gran, interrupting. “You know, the biggest mystery of all is why you stayed with him till the day he died.” She tells her.

“He wasn’t the most exciting man, but your father was dependable and he loved you,” Gran tells her.

“He would have loved everyone but the idiot I married,” Jen tells me.

“Darling, I’m convinced the raiding of your temple by the idiot was to provide me with my wonderful grandchildren,” Gran tells her.

“Um, like I could raid your temple,” Riley tells them when the mood was a bit melancholy.

“Riley do I have to explain to you that you're gay? I can give you the speech in case you need it.” Deb tells him.

“You mean wanting to see if Emmett’s height has any correlation to other parts means I’m gay? Oh God, Gran you have to stop me from my sinful thoughts.” Riley tells them, lunging at me.

“Or sinful actions, not that I plan on stopping you.” I giggled, as Riley’s hands travel lower.

“I could show you, I just don’t want Gran to be jealous,” Riley tells me, pinching my ass before walking out the door.

“One day that boy is going to have to live up to his mouth,” Gran tells me.

“I like that he doesn’t take anything too seriously,” I tell them.


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