JUSTIN

I woke up to a banging on the loft door, Blake went to the door, signaling for me to get out of sight. He opened the door and called me when he closed it. He had food in his hand and a smiling Deb standing next to him.

“Hi Sunshine, Brian asked me to get some stuff for you. I brought you a few things.” She tells me.

“Justin, he’s already telling people where to find you,” Blake tells me.

“I’m the only mother Brian knows, and I already told him I wouldn’t let anyone know Justin’s here. He wanted Gus to be able to have his date with Justin, knowing the diner wasn’t an option right now. I just wanted to tell Justin, good job at becoming a light brighter than the sun.” She tells me.

“Thank you for making me see my life wasn’t over that day. You gave me more than words that day, you gave me a reason to keep breathing.” I tell her, hugging my savior.

“Sweetheart, there is never a reason to let the bastards win. Now, how about we get dinner ready so Gus can finally have his date with his hero.” She tells me.

“Daddy, my tummy is hungry.” Ryan comes out, rubbing his eyes.

“I have all sorts of things that should help you fix that,” Deb tells him, smiling.

“Daddy?” Ryan asks me.

“Come meet Ms Deb,” I tell him.

“Deb or Grandma, I’ve never been one for formality.” She tells us.

Brian comes through the storage door and Ryan runs to him. Deb was smiling ear to ear when Brian picked Ryan up and he snuggled into his neck. “I guess Brian won another heart.” She tells me.

“Grandma?” Gus comes out rubbing his eyes.

“I brought you some things to treat Justin to dinner with, I guess everyone was sleeping? I should have waited, but I wanted to see you.” She tells us.

“I didn’t realize how tired I was when we got here,” I tell her.

“Ryan wanted me to snuggle with him. He says his teddy bear was at home. I guess I fell asleep.” Gus tells us.

“We didn’t leave Teddy behind. It’s in my loft, along with a few more of your things.” Brian tells Ryan.

“I think I was wrong, Ryan won the heart,” Deb whispers to me.

“He’s hard not to love,” I tell Deb.

“Which one?” She asks, patting my cheek before grabbing the food from Blake. “I hope you like spaghetti, I made the pasta from scratch,” Deb tells us, and that, of course, had Ryan wanting to be put down.

“I think Ryan might love YOU best,” Brian tells Deb, kissing her cheek.

“Honey, cook and they will come.” She tells me.

“I’ll leave the cooking to you. Making them come is my skill.” Brian tells her.

“Brian, how about not saying anything Mel would kick your ass for,” I tell him.

“I just wanted it out there for you to think about.” He tells me, kissing my head.

Blake wasn’t thrilled at more people he felt would just bring on the possibility of outing where we were. He kept shaking his head at me, and I think it's time to let him go hang out in Mississippi. Normally I don’t have problems with Blake, but it was getting to the point where I was about to yell at him. I asked him to come to the bedroom so we could talk. Brian followed me to see what was going on.

“What exactly is your problem? It can't just be about people finding me.” I ask.

“I'm just doing my job,” Blake tells me.

“Blake, we have never had this much of a problem working together. You need to tell me what it is, it seems personal to me.” I tell him.

“You know I came from here too?” He asks.

“You've mentioned it, but why does that have anything to do with this?” I ask.

“I know the guy, you don't. I've seen Brian in action.” He tells me.

“When?” Brian asks.

“I’ve clubbed here before, working for Drew. Everyone knew Brian’s rule. Once only, no repeats. It hasn't changed. A few guys I know still talk about Brian and his beliefs on relationships. He's just 'fuck and forget', you'll just be his latest conquest.” He tells me.

“Which isn’t your business. Your job is to keep Ryan from anyone I don’t want around him. It doesn’t matter to me how you feel about who I chose to let be around me. I think it would be better for you to trade places with Drew, who knows his job. I don’t want this to become a reason we can’t even be friends.” I tell him.

“Your thinking with the wrong head.” He tells me, angry.

“Are you sure it’s not you thinking with the wrong head?” Brian asks him.

“I’m concerned for Justin and the misconception he has about you. You’re not a white knight saving the day. When you get what you want, you're not only going to hurt Justin but Ryan. Messing with a grown man is one thing, but think about how Ryan is going to feel when you take off looking for your next trick.” Blake tells him.

“Blake, call Drew and tell him your changing places with him. You want me to worry about Brian’s being here, but you seem to be the one with the problem.” I tell him.

Blake walked out, calling Drew. I didn’t want to do it, but it wasn’t another problem we needed. He came back, telling me that Drew would be here later tonight, and was told to let Brian handle everything while Blake caught the first flight out. He went to Ryan to tell him he was leaving for a while but that Drew would be here. Ryan didn’t help by saying Brian was here to take care of him.

Brian pulled me into the bedroom to talk, while Deb watched the kids for us.

“He wasn’t making any of that up,” Brian tells me.

“If you're only looking for a one night stand, then I will make arrangements for Ryan and me to go somewhere else. I should have just flown my mother and sister to Colorado, it’s the one house no one could find.” I tell him.

“Justin if they wanted to find you they could, anywhere. There isn’t one place that will stop them. Sooner or later they would dig up something. It was bound to happen when you fired Rita. She knows your parents, and will eventually think to look here. I was only buying you time to see if you wanted to bother with your family.” He tells me.

“You still didn’t answer what you expected from me,” I tell him.

“I expect you to give me a chance to show you I’m not the whore of Pennsylvania. That if I found a reason to change, I wouldn’t want the life I’ve been living. I liked that you didn’t know anything about me, and could only make a decision based on the guy you were getting to know.” He tells me, frustrated.

“I keep asking you this, but other than who I am, what makes you think I’m worth the bullshit that comes with me?” I ask.

“Why do you think you're not worth being with?” He asks.

“I guess because no one has ever wanted me for me,” I tell him, honestly.

“I’ve spent years having people want to be the person who could change my mind about relationships. I didn’t meet a single one who could, until you.” He tells me.

“Just know that when I said it wouldn’t be easy, that you were warned,” I tell him.

“I don’t care how easy or hard it is, I just want to know that you're willing to succeed before I fall any harder for you.” He tells me.

“What?” I ask, needing to hear it again.

“I think I could love you, but I won’t risk that unless you will.” He tells me.

“Brian, who the hell is Jules?” Deb asks, coming in the room.

“Yes,” I tell Brian. “Mel sort of called me Jules, and said I’m Lindsay’s cousin when Michael barged into the house,” I tell them.

“Michael saw you and didn’t recognize you?” Brian asks.

“He was trying to convince me to go out with him. Mel had to kick him out.” I tell him.

“He’s been trying to convince me to let him pick Gus up from the girls. All so I wouldn’t run into you, the new love of his life.” Brian laughs.

“He texted me that I needed to go find out about Jules,” Deb tells us.

“I don’t need Michael figuring out who Justin/Jules is,” Brian tells her.

“Brian I swear on Vic’s grave, I won’t tell Michael. I can’t believe how he seems to run from one love interest to the next. Ben might not have been someone I wanted for Michael, but he’s a great guy. If Michael had put more attention on Ben than on you and the guys, he wouldn’t be avoiding Michael now.” She tells us.

“Ben didn’t like the way Michael lied about things to him. He kept telling Ben we wanted to be set up with his friends, then surprising all of us with it. It’s why we took off to look for Justin.” Brian tells her.

“Brian, he’s like a yoyo with you and any other guy. I’m sure he just sees Justin as another person to be with until you decide you want him.” She tells him.

“The way he talked about Justin, it was different. Normally he wants me to meet the new love interest. This time he’s thinking of ways to keep me away from Justin.” Brian tells her.

“I’m not interested. No offense, but he’s not the kind of guy I go for,” I tell them.

“I could tell Michael you're seeing someone. Mel and Lindsay would agree with it.” Deb tells me.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to lie to your son. I’m just worried at the way everyone thinks Michael would out me if he knew who I was.” I tell her.

“He’d do it without realizing what he did,” Brian tells me.

“I love my son but Brian’s right about that. Michael tends to say things without thinking of anyone but himself. He would tell people because he was angry that you didn’t want him.” She tells me.

“All of you put up with him?” I ask.

“He’s my son for better or worse. I love the shit, but I’m not blind to who he is. He really believes that what he does, Brian and the guys want him to do. The boys only put up with it for me.” She tells me.

“You loved us when our own parents didn’t,” Brian tells her.

“All of your parents are idiots if they can’t see what wonderful boys you are. Maybe one day my son will grow up to be like the sons of my heart.” She tells him.

“You’ve always held a place in my life, for telling me the things you did in the diner. I can see why they would do anything for you.” I tell her.

“Do something for me, love this one.” She tells me.

“Deb,” Brian says as if to get her to stop.

“I think every day I find a new reason to like him more, who knows what will happen given more time,” I tell her.

“We have the rest of our lives,” Brian tells me.