BRIAN

I keep trying to ignore this need to read more about a guy I've never met. It was becoming an internet stalking at this point. All day I had to stop myself from kidnapping Emmett and taking a drive to Hillbilly, USA. It's how Emmett described his hometown when he wasn’t calling it even worse things. Rita called to say that until she found Jus, she wouldn't need us. That should have been enough for me to go on to other actual clients. But for some reason, I can’t help trying to dig and find anything I can to keep me in Pittsburgh, and not have me heading to Mississippi. Why the hell can’t I let it go?

Gus came running in with Lindsay, and I managed to shut my laptop before he saw the picture of Jus.

“We came by to see if you wanted to go to lunch,” Lindsay tells me.

“I had a half day,” Gus informed me.

“I’d love to have lunch with my sonny boy,” I tell him.

When Lindsay suggested the diner, I made the sacrifice and said we could go to burger hell with the playground. I figured I could talk to Lindsay about my insanity. I'm sure she'd come up with some romantic garbage that would screw my head on straight.

“Have you ever looked at a picture or painting and couldn't let it go?” I ask, not really sure if I want to tell her my actual dilemma.

“Yes, it's like something pulling at you that you need to understand. Why?” She tells me.

“I’m just trying to figure out something that bothers me,” I tell her.

“It has to do with your question?” She asks.

“It's just... I got offered to do the PR on someone. Normally I assess the person and figure out everything about them. This client has been labeled as a nightmare for anyone who's done PR for him. I was really going to turn it down because I won’t work with someone who won’t listen. It's just small things about him that bother me.” I tell her.

“Like what?” She asks as Gus sits next to us, eating bites of his lunch in between running back and forth to the play area.

“You could almost label him... me, if what others say is true about him,” I tell her.

“Brian, regardless of the way the family acts, we all know you care about all of us.” She tells me.

“I'm not saying it so you can deny it, but to give you an idea of what I've been told about the guy,” I tell her.

“Okay, then what's bothering you?” She asks.

“He does things, really great things, without looking for a press feed. He shows up out of the blue at hospitals, entertaining kids, or in one instance, he paid off the whole bill for a kid’s treatment. He doesn't use it to get attention, the way others do. Hell, the only reason anyone would know is that the parents of these kids post what he did.” I tell her.

“So it bothers you that he might not be the asshole others tell you?” She asks.

“It’s just, I was looking at pictures of him that he has at his house, and it was like he was actually looking back at me, not at the camera. I’ve just never experienced a feeling like that before. I’m running around trying to find anything that explains the two different people in one person. He owns this house that would have you panting, and it’s like a place I expected. A house to show off with, but nothing there isn’t staged in a way to further the myth that he’s self-absorbed. He doesn’t live there at all, but I think he uses it to hide where he really goes. I’m normally right in my assessments of people, but he’s like a complete mystery.” I tell her.

“You seem to have thought about it a lot. This is the first time I’ve ever heard you obsess over someone.” She tells me.

“I didn’t even meet him, apparently he took off on his agent. She’s not a happy camper right now. I get the feeling he does this a lot, and she’s in the dark about where he goes. So, as of right now I have no real reason to keep looking him up.” I tell her, wanting to roll my eyes at myself.

“I imagine if he’s really famous, it’s the only way he can have normalcy. I couldn’t imagine what it’s like to have people chasing you all the time to take pictures and find out your entire life story.” She tells me.

“That’s the other strange thing. Most of my clients have their whole life leaked out, and with this guy, there isn’t anything out there about his family or where he came from. There is nothing with his real name out there.” I tell her.

“How did he manage that? There is no such thing as secrets when the press wants to know.” She tells me.

“He’s at the top of his field, but has managed to hide everything about himself,” I tell her.

“Just like Jus T does,” Gus tells us.

“What do you mean Lambskin?” Lindsay asks, not noticing me praying it’s just a coincidence.

“I sent him a letter asking for an autographed picture and if he would come to see me. I offered to buy him lunch at the diner. He told me he missed the cheeseburgers from there. He even knew Granny Deb.” Gus tells us.

“Did he say how he knew her?” I felt like shit for interrogating my son.

“Just that she served him food and made him smile by the way she talks,” Gus tells us, running off.

“Brian, what was that?” Lindsay asks.

“Fuck, just do me a favor, no one can know who I might be representing until I’m hired,” I tell her.

“I’m not one of the guys who blabs everything.” She tells me.

“It’s Jus T,” I whisper.

“You're obsessing about a rock star?” She whispers, before laughing her ass off at me.

“I just don’t understand why,” I tell her.

“What caught your attention?” She asks, curious. “Brian, when I met Mel all I could see was this woman who I wanted to spend every minute of the day learning everything about. What about him has you unable to ignore him?” She asks when I didn’t answer the first question.

“It’s like, I feel like if I don’t meet him, I’m going to be losing something important,” I tell her.

“Then let's get Gus’s letter and maybe I can quiz Deb for you. She never forgets anyone who passes through the diner.” She tells me.

Lindsay and I became the parents we hated, snooping on our son. She found the letter in Gus’s desk and we sat reading, not a standard letter to a fan, but an actual handwritten letter.

Gus,

I sent you the picture you asked for, unfortunately, I’m on tour in Europe right now and can’t make it for lunch. I would have loved to have a burger at the diner you invited me to. I’ve actually been there, and love the way it was more like a home than a diner. Your Granny made me smile at the way she talked and didn’t let anyone feel like a stranger. If I ever come there, I promise to take you up on your invitation. Give Granny Deb a big hug for me and tell her she really made things seem better that day. Take care and write again sometime.

JT.

I couldn’t believe Lindsay and I really took off to see Deb when Mel came home. Lindsay took the letter with us, as an excuse to talk to Deb. Michael was there and seemed to be pissed that I’d hadn’t called him all day.

“Did you lose your phone?” Michael asks.

“I was busy, was there an emergency?” I ask him.

“I was calling to tell you about Ben.” He tells me.

“What, did he want you to teach his class again?” I ask, sarcastically.

“No. Ben wanted to invite you and the guys over for a party with some of his friends.” He tells me.

“Michael, just because you're in a relationship does not mean I need to be set up with any of his zen friends,” I tell him.

“Deb, I wanted to show you something,” Lindsay says, interrupting what was sure to be a long lecture on how it was time to stop tricking and get into a serious relationship.

Lindsay shows Deb the letter and the picture. Deb kept tilting her head back and forth at the picture. “The hair is wrong, but yep, that’s Sunshine.” She tells us.

“You remember him?” Lindsay blurts out before I did.

“He came in looking like he just needed a place to go. His sat at the counter and I talked to him when it was slow. His parents didn’t handle his coming out well. I wanted to see him smile, so I kidded around with him. His smile really could brighten a room. He left and never came back, I’d hoped maybe it was because his family managed to accept their gay son. What’s he doing writing Gus?” She asks Lindsay.

“He’s Gus’s favorite musician. I just thought you’d like to see that he remembered you.” Lindsay tells her.

“Who is it?” Michael asks, looking at the picture.

“He goes by Jus T, no one really knows his real name,” Lindsay tells him.

I could kiss Lindsay for making it sound like she was the one curious and not me.

“You should really get Gus interested in better things than a spoiled brat rock star,” Michael tells us.

“Michael, at least Gus’s heroes actually exist,” Deb tells him. “Tell Gus if he writes to Sunshine again that I want to add a note telling him I’m thrilled for him,” Deb tells us, handing back the letter.

“I guess he used to live in Pittsburgh?” Lindsay questions.

“From the way it sounded, yeah.” She tells Lindsay.

“Brian why don’t we go to Babylon and leave them to fawn over the guy,” Michael tells me.

“Brian promised to tuck Gus in tonight,” Lindsay tells him.

“I’m sure he can do it some other night, it’s not like Gus isn’t used to his absence lately,” Michael whines at us.

“Sorry, but what Gus wants, I deliver. Go let Ben show you how to dance.” I tell him.

Michael left, not happy that I wouldn’t go with him. It was just, I got a piece of the puzzle and I was greedy to get more.

“So why are you so interested in this, Brian?” Deb asks, proving we can never fool her.

“I might be representing him if we can find him. I can’t find out anything about him that could help his agent find him.” I tell her part of the truth.

“Right. I remember thinking he came from a well-off family. I never really got his name. When he left no one ever came looking for him.” She tells us.

I dropped Lindsay off, and once again started trolling the net for pictures of him. I called Emmett to come over, without Michael. Ted and Emmett showed up together an hour later.

“I swear to God, if Michael introduces me to another boring middle-aged man who finally came out of the closet, I’m going to murder him,” Emmett tells me, sitting on a barstool.

“At least the guy he introduced you to didn’t need a nap and a retirement home,” Ted complains.

“Brian, how does Michael never figure out that you wouldn’t be interested in a Ben clone?” Emmett asks.

“Want to take a road trip with me? And, do not tell Michael, or I’ll leave you off on the wrong side of Pittsburgh.” I warn.

“I love road trips. Where are we going?” Emmett asks excitedly.

“I want to see the place you called home sweet home, as a tot,” I tell him.

“Changed my mind, no road trips,” Emmett tells me.

“You go and I’ll make sure my clients come to you first for their parties,” I tell him.

“Why are you trying to bribe me?” Emmett asks, raising a brow.

“I want to see if I can find a potential client. All I have is some receipts from a town close to where you came from.” I tell him, pulling out the receipts I took.

“There’s a bunch of farms in Willows Bend. I have never understood naming a town after a tree that doesn’t exist there though.” Emmett tells me.

“I thought we could go see the farms,” I tell him, knowing it sounds crazy coming from me.

“I have the week off, and you want me to go to my own personal hell. Why not?” Emmett tells me.

“Brian, what are you doing?” Ted asks.

“I was just thinking a career in agriculture sounded like a great way to spend some of the money you keep telling me I need to invest,” I tell him.

Emmett left, promising to keep his mouth shut and singing ‘“Green Acres is the place to be”, on the way out of the loft. Ted got that he wasn’t going to get any more information from me. I pulled up a few pictures, studying them. I pulled up the program to alter pictures and changed the black to blond, still asking myself, what is it about him that is causing me to want to find him?