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JUSTIN


I was following behind Ryan, who was peddling his toy tractor down the dirt road between the fields of wheat that I paid the neighbors to plant on my land. Tom came over a couple of weeks after I bought the place and asked what crops I planned to grow. I honestly never thought about it when I bought the place. I told him I wasn’t really planning on growing anything. He told me that it would be a shame to leave the land to die. Daphne and I talked about it, but we didn’t know anything about farming. I went over to see him and asked if I paid for him to work the farm would he be interested. He and two others took me up on it and there were fields of wheat, cotton, and corn. The profits were left in an account that Daphne used to help the town when they needed anything. It made it so no one really questioned a farm that wasn’t being used.


I saw Tom coming towards us, smiling at Ryan pretending to use his tractor to work the fields.


“How long you in town for?” He asks.


“I’m going to be here a while, it’s time for me to be the one taking care of Ryan,” I told him.


“The town is going to have a dance tomorrow, you should come and meet some people. Maybe Daphne will offer the guys a dance with a pretty girl.” He tells me.


“I’ll think about it. I just wanted to spend time with Ryan.” I tell him.


“Son, we all bring the kids. It’s just a dance and a way to kick back and shoot the shit.” He tells me.


“Sounds like fun. I’ll see if Daphne wants to go.” I tell him.


“That girl needs to do more than take care of the animals. There are plenty of boys who were hoping she’d go out with them. Hell, my wife offered to watch Ryan, so she could have a night out. This way if you all go she can’t argue about it.” He tells me.


He walked off, saying he would pick us up and drag our butts with him and his family. It was nice the way Tom and his wife Camie looked out for Daphne and Ryan. I was starting to wonder if letting Daphne putting her life on hold for mine wasn’t selfish on my part.


“Daddy, I planted it all,” Ryan yells, peddling back to me.


“I bet you're hungry, how about we go see what Aunt Daphne cooked for us?” I ask him.


He got off the tractor and left it there, telling me he was too tired to drive back. I let him climb on my back and walked us back to the house. Daphne was putting spaghetti on the table. I took Ryan to clean up before eating, even though he tried to get to his favorite food.


“Tom came by, saying he was going to drag our butts to the town dance tomorrow,” I tell her.


“It sounds like fun.” She tells me.


“Why aren’t you dating?” I ask her.


“I work all day and really don’t want Ryan spending all his time with babysitters.” She tells me.


“Daph, not every guy is going cheat on you. It wasn’t you, it was the people who cheated. September didn’t give a shit about your friendship when she and Dean were messing around behind your back.” I tell her, wiping sauce off Ryan’s cheeks.


“I don’t think every guy is going to cheat. The guy I want to ask me out hasn’t yet.” She smirks.


“We are going to the dance, just so I can see the guy we need to get glasses for if he didn’t see he should have already asked,” I tell her.


“Daddy, I wanna dance,” Ryan tells me.


I picked up Ryan and danced him around the kitchen. While he giggled and flung his arms up, trusting me to keep him from falling.


BRIAN


“What made Ben so special?” I ask Michael, ready to bang my head on the table for asking anything that Michael will interpret as jealousy.


My only excuse was the two tricks were boring as shit and no one else made me even want to try again. Michael was rambling on and on about something he found on eBay that was one of a kind. I was really just trying to move the conversation on. It was really stupid of me because I could already see he was gearing up to help me change my wicked ways.


“We're all getting too old to party the way we did in our twenties. Ben offered me a chance to have an adult relationship. Something you need to see at our age as a good thing. If you would just come to one of the parties with me, you might meet something other than tricks. There is one of his friends that we hang out…” The rest became static when someone played a song by Jus.


His voice could hit high notes, but then lower as if what he was singing was for you and only you. None of that compared to the eyes though. I found a picture of him looking off in the distance. It made me want to see what was there that interested him. It was staged for a photo shoot, but his eyes were hypnotic to me. I turned when Michael was telling people to change the music.


“What’s wrong with it? I like it.” Emmett told him, sitting down.


“I’m just tired of hearing about him. Ma acts like someone she barely knew was so great when he remembered the waitress who served him a burger. Really, Brian, you should steer Gus towards real heroes, not a rock star.” He tells me.


“We all idolize someone when we’re growing up,” Emmett tells him.


“I just think it’s unhealthy for kids to idolize guys who think they’re gods because they belt out a song. When the guy OD’s or does something stupid, then you’ll see you should have pushed Gus towards a healthy hero.” Michael tells us.


“Not every rock star is an asshole or addicted to drugs,” Ted tells Michael.


“Please. The guy treats interviews like it’s a waste of time to give his fans his time or any information.” Michael argues.


“He sent a handwritten letter to Gus, instead of the standard form letter. He signed a picture and welcomed Gus to write to him. To me sounds like he just likes his privacy. If you noticed, when they interview him, until they ask personal questions, he answers.” I tell them all.


I looked up when the gang wasn’t saying anything, they were staring at me. “What?” I sneer.


“Have you been watching a lot of interviews?” Emmett smiles at me.


“I pay attention to the way people present themselves. Gus watches anytime they interview people.” I pull out of nowhere to cover my ass.


“Hey, there’s Ben.” Michael points as if we should all pay attention when Ben enters a room.


I heard Emmett groan and Ted bang his head on the table. I turned, and really, why would they think any of these three guys behind Ben would interest Emmett, Ted, or me. I got up, with Emmett and Ted rushing to follow me anywhere but here.


“Guys, it’s rude to leave when Ben just got here,” Michael tells us, trying to block the way.


“Did I forget to mention that we all have an early morning? It must have been all the titillating conversation about how Ben managed to show you a real relationship. I was interested in how your action figures fit in.” I tell him.


“Funny Brian, but you know, one drink and a conversation that doesn’t start with ‘suck my dick’ could do wonders for you,” Michael tells me.


“Sounds fun for you and Ben. Later,” I tell him, moving him and walking right by Michael’s idea of the kind of guy I would want.


We were out on the sidewalk before Emmett burst out laughing. We all climbed into my jeep and took off when Michael came running out with the bald guy, who looked closer to sixty than our age.


“Why not leave now? Michael is going to be all over us tomorrow for running.” Emmett tells us.


I dropped them off, telling them to pack a bag and get to the loft. It never hurt to try to find him. I looked up the town and found a place for us to stay. I called an investigator and asked him to look into Jus T and see if he could find a link to Pittsburgh.


The loft door opened while I was packing my bag. I finished packing and came out to find Michael in my kitchen, pouting at me.


“Where are you going?” He asks.


“I need to check on a client,” I told him.


“You know, it’s really bullshit when Ben goes out of his way to bring people for you guys to meet and you run off. They were really disappointed that you guys didn’t stick around to at least say hi. Is it bothering you that I want Ben?” He asks me.


“Not even a twinge Mikey. Why not go back to Zen Ben and show us all what we miss by not having your boyfriend.” I tell him, pulling him out the door before locking up.


“I could go with you and hang out. I can close for the day.” He offers.


“What, and miss the chance to show kids some real heroes? I couldn’t look myself in the mirror again if I denied you that.” I tell him.


Michael was walking away when Emmett and Ted pulled up and threw their bags in the Jeep. I peeled away, acting as if we didn’t hear Michael yelling for us to stop.


All the phones went off one after the other. I’m sure the messages were just wishing us a good trip. All I could think was that I was possibly getting closer to my obsession.

 

 

 

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