Brian:

When I woke the next morning my head hurt like a bitch, never in my life I've felt such pain. No hangover or beating by the bastard of Jack made me feel like this, it is as if the sorrow in my heart was being reflected in my body... and it hurt.

"You know, smacking your head against the headboard won't make the pain go away. Drink this, it's a mix herb tea that will surely help you calm down" I froze when I heard the uninvited person's voice, it was familiar, but at the same time I couldn't place it "It will take a few days until it'll be gone, but after today I'm almost sure it will become bearable and you'll be able to go back to work. Taking in almost six years of experience in one night, it's a toll, especially in a human's body. Talk about changing over night" she laughed at her own joke, but I could only stare at her with my jaw hanging- not understanding what the hell was going on "By the way, I sent a text to Cynthia from your phone telling her that you are taking a sick day. She's a dear, this early she loves you and cares for you. You better call her later, she was quite worried considering the messages you received from her in the last ten minutes" Mysterious Marilyn placed a cup of smoking tea on the night table next to the bed "Drink it" she ordered me "We have a lot to talk about" with that said she left the room and headed towards the small kitchen of the loft.

I stayed sitting in my head, leaning against the headboard, not believing that just happened. After a while of just staring at space, blinking stupidly I closed my mouth and shook my head, trying to chase the illusions away. I decided that I've finally lost my mind and headed towards the bathroom to take a shower.

What the hell did she mean by 'changing over night'? It took me almost five years for that? More than one almost death experience? And the death of the love of my life?! I thought confused by all this. And that about 'in a human's body? If I'm not human what am I?! Also, HOW THE HELL DID SHE GET IN?!

I decided to take my time, if she barges into my loft uninvited and demands things from me. I will make her wait and give her the whole Kinney experience... and it's not a pretty one. I shaved, brushed my teeth and fixed my hair before heading to my room to dress up with a pair of yoga pants and a Calvin Klein's wife-beater. Then I took the mug from the night table, surprised that it was still warm, and exited my bedroom.

"Took your time" Mysterious Marilyn accused me, crossing her arms with pursed lips and a true queen's glare. She huffed when I didn't say anything "It doesn't matter. Sit down, we have a lot to talk about. I made you chocolate chips pancakes, you have to eat something".

"Justin's favorites" I said under my breath, and just like that all the pain came back to me. And no matter how many times it happened before, it's weight still crashed me and took me by surprise.

"He never really died, you know" her words froze me. I stayed still for a long time, before I finally took my gaze away from the pancakes towards her. My look said it all: 'Are you insane?!'  "Look at the date" she handed me a newspaper.

"Why the hell do I care what the damn date is?!" I finally yelled at her, snapping out of my shock "You broke into my loft, made yourself at home, demanded stuff from me as if I were a puppy waiting for your call and then... then you tell me that Sunshine is alive! HE DIED YOU STUPID WHORE! He's been dead for a year now. Do you enjoy playing these sick games?! Making me hope for a minute, even knowing how impossible it is, that my sunshine might be alive to then crush them into dust and dance tap on my heart. I saw his body! His bloody..." I couldn't finish the sentence because I had to rush towards the bathroom so I wouldn't puke all over my expensive sofa.

I hated to show this kind of weakness, not that I think about it so much anymore. Not since his death. But every time I think about the time I found Justin's dead body... it made me sick. The headache amplified while I was throwing up.

What the hell did I drink last night?! I complained in my head. Suddenly a newspaper was held in front my head, from someone behind me. I was about to yell at Marilyn again and threaten her with calling the police when someone caught my eye. What the fucking hell?!

"It's impossible... that can't be today's newspaper..." I thought out loud, not believing my eyes but my guts told me otherwise. However, I ignored them. I couldn't let myself hope... it would destroy me.

"It is, why don't you check your phone, then" she advised me.

I wanted to kick her out, call the police on her and forget this morning ever happened. But... if there was a possibility... no matter how small or impossible it is... I couldn't live with myself knowing I didn't take it. So I followed her advice and rushed towards my bedroom, where my phone rested on my night table. I scrolled through my messages and still couldn't believe my eyes, no matter how imposing the evidence was.

"Why is Cynthia telling me to not worry about Ryder, because I am his favourite. Or Lindsay asking if I've finally decided if I am giving them my sperm. Or the bastard of Michael asking me where I am, over and over again. As the meaningless puppy, he is" I demanded to know, sitting down on my bed because everything was too much.

Did I time travel to the past? I asked myself, not knowing what else could be happening. Did someone hear my praying last night and decided to give me a second chance?

"Before you start jumping to conclusions: no, you didn't time travel and NO, no one was brought from the death. Those two things go against nature and are very dangerous. You DON'T want to mess with time or life" she told me, crushing my hopes all over again "What you just experience is a premonition" now she had my attention back "Last night when you went to sleep, you were in 2006 and when you woke up you were back in 1999. But that's not really what happened. Last night when you went to sleep you had come back from a family dinner in Debbie's, where the girls ambush you with the big question in front of everyone. The three of you had a big fight before you cut your visit short and returned here. You went to bed, woke up with me in your home... and here we are" she explained.

"But... that's impossible... it's been more than six years since then" my eyes widened at the scariest thought of my life "Wait! If yesterday I was at Debbie's and it was 1999... what about Justin?!".

"He was at home, after his first junior day in St. James. Family dinner, played with his sister for a while and then slept late after talking for more than two hours with Daphne over the phone" she told me, smiling sympathetically "He hasn't met you yet... and you technically haven't either".

I've... I've never met Justin?! No. No, that can't be true. It can't be true that the only good thing that has ever happened to me... never happened. I CAN'T RETURN TO BE THAT MAN AGAIN! The hollow man that nothing meant anything for him, the man that never knew love... the man that didn't have Sunshine in his life. My head was exploding with every passing thought, as I felt another panic attack starting.

"Oh my boy..." absent-mindedly I heard Marilyn sigh sadly, and felt her arms around me as she calmed me down. But I could only concentrate on making sure to find a way to never forget every memory I had of my loved one "Calm down Brian, no one is taking your memories from him. Justin and everything you were supposed to go though will always remain with you... for good or bad".

"I don't understand" I murmured brokenly, not knowing what else to do anymore. My world has been turned upside down for a third time in less than a decade... or day? I don't know anymore.

"I know my boy, but that's why I am here. I'll explain everything" she assured me. She waited for me to calm down before starting to talk again, but not letting me go "Everything that you remember from this day on didn't really happen. You were given the ability to see your future and the chance to change it. Justin was never meant to die that night, the one that was supposed to get hurt was Michael. But the bastard... the bastard of Michael changed that outcome. The worst thing is that he would have survived the bombing and there wouldn't have been any lasting effects. Not like Justin after the bashing..." with every word she spoke I felt my anger return, but this time towards the one I once thought as my best friend and his betrayal "You were supposed to find him and tell him you love him. You were supposed to buy him a state, a palace worth your prince. You were supposed to propose to him" I felt my eyes watering again. We were supposed to have such a beautiful future... but it was all taken away by the bastard of Michael! I should have ended our friendship after the munchers' party "Now you have the chance".

"You are are saying that I saw the future... my sunshine is alive and out there waiting for me to find him?" I moved away from her embrace so I can see if she was telling the truth. I might have turned into a pathetic pussy since Justin's death... or future death? But I will never be stupid, and my bullshit detector was still in perfect shape.

"Yes, Justin is out there waiting for you" she assured me, and just like that all the life came back to me "But remember that he is still sixteen, take it slow with him. You don't have to wait a year to have him in your arms again, but at least wait until he turns seventeen and is ready to show the world who he truly is".

"I can at least drive towards his school to see that he is truly alive? I need to see him!" I sounded desperate, but that was only fair when I felt even worse. It was kind of ironic that me who was so against the idea of needing anyone but myself, now I needed someone to be able to breath without feeling as if my world was crashing down. When she nodded her head, I breath a sigh of relief. But there were still some questions unanswered "Who gave me this ability? Was it a one time thing or will it happen again? Why was I given this chance?".

"I can't tell you who exactly did this, but I can tell you that I work for them and they can be trusted. Don't worry, it was just a one time thing, it doesn't mean that you'll start seeing the future out of the blue. And as to why... that is something that I don't even know. What I do know is that they care a lot about your future with Justin being a happy one, so try to not commit the same mistakes that you did last time".

"I won't, I promise!" I swore "I learned my lesson, I will treat Sunshine with respect and let him in".

"But you'll have to remember that the Justin you'll meet isn't your strong and independent partner, he'll be an adolescent and just starting to discover who he is" she warned me, making me chuckle.

"Sunshine has always been strong and independent. He has always known who he is. What changed during the years is that he finally figured out what his place next to me is and what he really meant for me, but even when he was seventeen he already started guessing that he was more than just a warm body. That annoying genius!" I smiled sadly and happily, at the same time, at the memory of my beautiful lover... or future lover? It will take some time before I get used to this "He never should have gone through questioning his worth or how important he is, and he will not suffer like that ever again... or won't suffer at all? Cause that never really happened...?" I looked at her for an answer.

"Exactly" she smiled sweetly "You love him very much".

"More than life" I replied without thinking, but not regretting my words at all. It took me a lot of time... was going to take me a lot of time? to have the confidence to admit out loud how much I love Sunshine. But I am not going back to being like that, I'll shout it in the middle of Babylon if I have to.

"You know... you don't have to use this second chance to just repair your relationship with Justin. You can also fix things with Gus... and Hunter" my smile vanished at the mention of Hunter. The little boy who I let down and... and that happened to him after Sunshine died.

"So tell me Brian... what will you do now?"