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This story is a true piss you off, make you cry, all emotion, encompassing tale that will leave you satisfied by the end. -Jazzepoet
As we know from the show, Brian promises Justin a week-long vacation in Vermont but instead ends up going to Chicago to win the Brown Athletics account and save his job. Feeling hurt and betrayed, Justin goes snowboarding at Sugarbush Resort without his "boyfriend." Fuck him! But then Brian shows up in the middle of the night and their griping eventually leads to seriously hot make-up sex. Unfortunately, Brian's condoms are not designed to accommodate an impressive cock like Justin's. Breakage is all but inevitable. What happens when it actually occurs? (Considering the fact that the tags say "mpreg," I'm willing to guess that Brian gets pregnant.)
Also, can Brian snowboard without lessons?? What about give birth? Read and find out.
Believe it or not, despite being an mpreg fic, this story is not schmoopy (at all), and Brian and Justin are not OoC. Go, me!
Categories: QAF US, Admin Pick
Characters: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor, Other Cast Regulars
Tags: 100k+ Word Count, Anal Sex (Lots of it!), Bottom Brian, M/M, MPreg (Yup! Went THERE!), Season 2, Toppy Justin, What if...
Genres: Alternate Canon, Angst w/ Happy Ending
Pairings: Brian/Justin
Series: None
Chapters: 24 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 135816 Read Count: 70904
Date: Jul 20, 2017 Title: Chapter 17: Barney's, Bergdorf, and Saks Fifth Avenue
So, thanks for some levity! It’ so great how you picture and characterize Michael – makes me want to shake him, but also laugh so much!
Oh, poor Brian. Must be hard to hear those things, but they’re not worth a second thought. And as mean as this moment was, the more beautiful is how you picture them walking home hand-in-hand, lying in bed and feeling these movements together. This is such a awesome moment!
And thanks again for another "topping Justin" scene - hot, cute and beautiful!
Date: Jul 20, 2017 Title: Chapter 19: Dark Brown Hair and Blue Eyes
I was aware that not everything could stay this way… quiet… harmonic… But these developments I haven’t expected. And Brian, he’s so brave. Justin’s reaction is strange, but again, he’s only human. So cute how you describe her as a mix between Brian and Justin. Must be a beautiful baby!
Date: Jul 20, 2017 Title: Chapter 18: The List and the Letters
What a beautiful chapter. Those letters are so gorgeous and affecting. They show this other side of Brian which also belongs to him. If he just wouldn’t be so afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt, then he could /would show this side more often. I think, at least now, Justin should have an answer to his question (“Or was he hesitating on the threshold because he'd glimpsed Brian's soul and found it so complex and so beautiful that all of his complaints seemed trivial in comparison?”).
Date: Jul 20, 2017 Title: Chapter 20: The Face that Launched a Thousand Ships
Wow! This is such a beautiful but also sad chapter. Brian’s really changed – I hope it stays this way. It’s so cute how he’s looked for a name which includes in some way the person he loves so much. And he’s so protective and caring about his daughter, he already loves her so much. Justin – Sometimes it’s different than you think and I must agree with Brian - maybe Justin has just imagined too much – you have to live it, not imagine it. It’s so beautiful how Brian tries to support Justin in bonding with their daughter through giving him time with her alone. I’m so afraid about the trouble which surely will come. And I also don’t trust Michael…. And by the way, I don’t want your story to end…
Date: Jul 20, 2017 Title: Chapter 21: Ireland's Legendary Warrior Queen
I’ve already thought so. Justin told Brian before, he would be okay with him tricking again after giving birth. But he’s not, and somehow, it’s understandable. I just hope their rules will function.
Oh Lindsay is such a bitch. How can she try to separate them, separate not only Justin from Brian but also from his kids??? That’s so awful. I’m so shocked. I’m so fucking angry at Lindsay right now. As if she would have done this when there hadn’t been the kids. But I would have a solution for them. I don’t know if this exist in the USA, but here in Germany, you can take parental time over three years. Brian just could accompany Justin with the kids. This would be so great and Lindsay would be so angry….
The end of the chapter is so beautiful. They are so great and cute and beautiful together. Please, don’t separate them…
Date: Jul 18, 2017 Title: Chapter 12: A Mother's Milk
I suffer with them! Don’t let anything happen to Brian and the babies! And I think Justin is really mature – he recognizes when he needs help and asks for it! And he has a great mother!
I like the way you let them reconcile. They don’t need lots of words. And as cruel as Brian can be, he can also be so lovable. Telling Justin quite casually about his breakdown when he was sixteen, telling him through this story that it’s okay to have a breakdown, is so awesome.
Oh, Lindsay… I must admit – in the show I don’t like her any better than Michael. It was always so confusing. Sometimes she supported Justin and Brian, but as often she also wanted Brian to always stay the same, drinking and fucking, being her Peter Pan forever, not wanting him to find anyone to stay and be happy with – and it felt as if she was somehow proud of the fact that only she has this bond through Gus with Brian. So, this behavior suits the Lindsay I saw in the show. Must be terrible for her that Justin not only has this special place in Brian’s heart and life but now also are going to have this special bond through their kids. I love Brian’s reaction and how he includes Justin. Made me laugh so hard. Great! You pictured them so well!
Date: Jul 23, 2017 Title: Chapter 22: Who's Your "Daddy"?
You broke my heart. Again. Maybe it would be right if they would be separated for some time. And they’re really in a mess. Brian – it’s great that he changed so much for his kids, I would have never expected him to be so absorbed in his role as a father – and Justin – it’s not okay to accept this scholarship without talking to Brian before. But – the same as in the show – I don’t like the way Lindsay interferes with their relationship and what I like even worse is that Brian let her have her way. She loves the house, too? She’s not the one who has to love it, she won’t live there. It should have been Justin there by his side when he bought this house. But both are to blame – why aren’t they talking to each other…
Date: Jul 23, 2017 Title: Chapter 23: The Glint of Dawn off the Wing of a Plane
I’ve already known this, but I’m glad you mentioned that Brian sees through Lindsay’s bullshit. I still think she’s a bitch. She wants to have Justin out of the way? So, she can imagine that those kids are hers and Brian’s and play little straight family for some times I can’t help myself, I don’t like her.
I don’t know what I should think about it. One thing is for sure, Brian can love unconditionally. He just wants what he thinks is best for Justin. He is able to let him go. He knows that his love is immemorial. That’s great. But what I don’t like about it, is, that he has consciously prevented a bond between the children and Justin. He was already in the process in building a cliff. Again, he decided what would be best for Justin. In my opinion, he has taken away from him the opportunity to choose. That was the thing I loved so much about “Monogamy” – in the end, they’ve chosen together. I am still of the opinion that there could have been a different solution for them. On the other hand, you have clarified that Justin is just too young and too confused. He must find out what he wants. Even if it is terribly painful. Beautifully written. It affected me so much, but it also hurt.
Date: Jul 18, 2017 Title: Chapter 9: Mr. Barkley
How sad. For once, they talk but don’t find a solution. No compromises. And I do understand both sides. Justin don’t want Brian to trick with their baby growing inside Brian and Brian… I was very amazed about his speech. It’s rare that Brian opens up so much… "What happened to us being ‘partners'?" … “If anyone should - or needs to - be here, it's you.” “What'll happen when I wake up in the middle of the night fucking freaking out over the fact that my life is going to change beyond recognition and I'm going to have to figure out how to be a father when my own was such a shitty role model?" Damned Michael. If he wouldn’t had come so fast, then maybe…
Twins!? Really!? OMG!
Michael is so pathetic… “It should have been me if Brian was going to get pregnant” – He really should reconsider his relationship with Ben.
“Hear about Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum?" – That’s so cute! And I think they found a great solution for their problem. It’s hot and suits them!
Date: Jul 17, 2017 Title: Chapter 7: The Balcony
I’m not sure what to think about Daphne here – I understand, she only cares for Justin and is afraid he’ll get hurt, but she also knows how much Justin loves Brian, to say he’ll find a better partner – she should know that this isn’t something Justin wants to hear. At least Debbie's response is positive and supportive. I know it’s ridiculous, but every time you let Brian call this baby “Junior” you made me smile. It’s cute.
I suffer with them, it must be really hard for Brian. And the moment, he tells Justin, he’s sorry, is so tragic…
Date: Jul 17, 2017 Title: Chapter 5: Gus
So, Brian is no longer in denial. A first step. But how afraid and scared he must be… He, the Stud of Liberty Ave was knocked up, everyone will know that he has bottomed. And if he considered to keep the baby, then no more drinking, drugging… what about tricking…. He will get corpulent… And what happens after birth… taking responsibility for another person… It must be very hard for Brian, a very difficult decision what to do… And although I feel sympathy for Brian, this one sentence has to hurt Justin so much: “Junior's going to be born with a taste for the high life."
By the way, I think it's very good that you decide to have a pregnant Brian (and not Justin).
Terrible what happens to Gus. But due to this accident they are approaching again, they open up, start talking about it and – maybe the most important thing – being honest to each other. And it nearly breaks my hearts when Brian admits that he’s afraid of not being able to stop drinking.
Date: Jul 19, 2017 Title: Chapter 15: "Let's Fuck"
"Now open your fucking mind as well as your ass," Brian whispered against his ear. "And for once hear what I'm fucking saying. If you still don't get it, then fine. Walk out the door. But before you do, fucking listen to me for a change - listen to our bodies, not my words” – Wow!
Thanks for this amazing chapter, for this scene. It’s hot, beautiful, even cute, awesome, sexy, You made it so clear how much Brian loves Justin. I can only hope that this is enough for Justin for now. And I also hope, Brian starts to remind Justin more often of that – if not with words than with gestures and actions…
Date: Jul 19, 2017 Title: Chapter 14: Custody
You broke my heart… Justin’s thoughts… To a certain extent it’s understandable why he thinks this way about Brian at this time (S2). The maybe worst thing was to read that Justin doesn’t think he loves Brian anymore. But in one point he is mistaken in any case: For Brian love isn’t any longer a dirty word, for Brian love is Justin. But I think for Justin it’s hard to understand or believe this, because, sure, normally, Brian’s fucking and tricking is just like some kind of hobby, like others jog or meditate every day. But sometimes he uses it consciously to hurt Justin, because he’s so afraid of the power Justin has over him (because he already loves him so much). And if it wouldn’t be so sad once again, one could laugh about Brian’s moaning about his need to fuck Justin again and again for the rest of his life. This is so much for someone like Brian.
And even if Justin’s right with most of it, it must be so hurtful for Brian to hear this, especially coming from the person who changed him already, who changed his views about love. To hear those things from the persons he loves so much and to hear that this person doesn’t believe in Brian’s capability to change…
Date: Jul 19, 2017 Title: Chapter 13: Hormones (or "Whatever Can Go Wrong Will - Just Add Progesterone To A Shit Storm And Stir")
It’s so amazing how you pictured a pregnant Brian who has to deal with his hormones. And again, I must say luckily, it is Brian who is pregnant. Don’t understand me wrong, I love Brian very much, but I asked myself, would he has been so considerate with Justin, especially when Justin would be clingy?
Oh no, what happened to the “great Mom”??? Why didn’t Justin go after Brian? And then, this pathetic asshole Ethan shows up. No, no, no – I hate it, as everyone always interferes. So it was often in the show. Especially Michael and Lindsay, who most of the time only thought about themselves.
Date: Jul 17, 2017 Title: Chapter 6: Team Cold Turkey
Hi again! They’re so hot together and also cute “Junior's changed his mind." – Beautiful… And Brian asking their friends to help them – again it shows that he isn’t just a selfish asshole… I love how you let them take small steps in the right direction. And although Brian is drunken once again, I think the most important thing is that he admits that he’s scared. It’s human. Warmest regards, a.
Date: Jul 17, 2017 Title: Chapter 4: Failure to Thrive
A very exciting chapter! I'm so sorry for Justin. His fears for their baby and his despair are so palpable. I love the way you show their clear bond and connection (for example when Brian reacts to his voice, talks to him, chooses him to accompany him to the hospital …)
“A question darted through Justin's mind: how could he be so calm and Michael so distraught? Did Michael love Brian more than he did?” – A few words to Michael… I have to admit, I don’t like him very much. There were too many scenes in the show in which his behavior has annoyed me so much. For example this scene when he told Brian he knows about the cancer, crying; asking Brian what he should do without him – in my opinion, he’s very selfish. So, I think how you describe Michael here suits him very well.
I love the way you turn dramatic scenes also into something funny “Justin, show the Doc your dick" - :-) Great! And then it turns into something so heartbreaking and again, I feel so sad for Justin. And Brian - how to be angry with him, he still didn’t understand what happened to him at all…
Date: Jul 17, 2017 Title: Chapter 2: The Test
I love their conversations about cows and frogs and other things… Yup... :-)Again, you’ve done a fantastic job – I love these telephone conversations between Justin and Brian and later between Justin and the Doc – especially when Justin talks about the broken condom and about his fears to confront Brian with the truth. You describe his confused feelings so well. Warmest regards, a.
Date: Jul 17, 2017 Title: Chapter 1: The Broken Condom
Hi again! After reading “Monogamy” I was looking forward to this new story, although the description has made me a little afraid. I don’t mind mpreg (I even liked it in some stories), but I always suffer if the two hurt each other too much…
Really good start. And again, a scene in the show where they should have talked a little bit more… I love your idea that Brian would’ve followed Justin to Vermont. And what should I say… I love your writing-style, how you characterize them (and stay in character), how you let them fuck each other (it’s so hot) and also how you let them talk with each other. – “I was there all day, every fucking day, until you were out of a coma, and then I was there every fucking night. I knew your progress in therapy better than your own fucking mother, speaking of whom, she told me that if I cared about you, I'd leave and never come back. I think you're smart enough to figure out what it meant . . . what it means . . . that I complied with her wishes." – I’ve always imagined it to be a little bit more romantic, but it suits them. :-) And if Justin hasn’t known or felt so far, now, he would have to understand how much he means Brian, how much Brian cares…
Date: Jul 19, 2017 Title: Chapter 16: Okay
No, no, no…. I was probably looking forward to early. How can Brian build up so much distance again after this moment of proximity and love…
And again, Jennifer is confusing me. Now, she is the one, who defends Brian and reminds Justin not to condemn him, but to give him time and a chance.
Damned! This whole incident was so needless, a dangerous waste of time. Why can’t Brian open up a little bit. I can’t blame Justin, to be honest, when Brian mentioned to be going to be busy on Saturdays, I assumed the same as Justin. He could have spent this afternoon together with Gus and Justin. But okay, would probably been too much to asked for at the moment. At least, he could open up a little bit more. And Justin has to learn to trust Brian more – and here, Lindsay is right, Brian has never lied to Justin or broken a promise.
Now, I think it would be a good time for a little levity again! :-)
Date: Jul 17, 2017 Title: Chapter 3: The News
“Baby” and “He’s the father of my child” – You made me laugh. I said it before, you describe his confused feelings so well. And then, the tragedy starts… Brian is in denial. But who could blame him for this… It’s so exciting, so far… Thanks again for another great story!
Brian told Justin to get some friends his age – what if the kiss Michael saw was misconstrued? What if miscommunication was only the start of it all? Just how far does the butterfly effect go?
Categories: QAF US
Characters: Brian Kinney, Ethan Gold, Justin Taylor, Original Male Character
Tags: Jealousy, Overdose, PTSD, Rage, Real Life Issues, Season 3, Tearjerker, What if...
Genres: Angst
Pairings: Brian/Justin
Series: None
Chapters: 36 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 195503 Read Count: 59561
Date: Jan 23, 2022 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Oh, that's so sad! And on the show, while I don't particularly like Ethan, I think Ethan was necessary because both - Brian and Justin - learned something from it. Although I sometimes had my doubts about Brian (see for example that stupid 11:00 trick - well, whatever). But I'm glad that in your story and the situation he's in, Justin has such good friends in Ethan and Daphne and probably in Sam too.
Date: Jan 23, 2022 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Thanks for another great chapter! Your writing style is so wonderful. I have to say when you mentioned Justin giving his POA to Daphne I was concerned that it might have had something to do with Sap's party and I was really worried that you might have changed that storyline and didn't let Justin got off so lightly there (I don't think he would had got away in real life. If these men had really wanted that, how could he have defended himself in his condition. But as I said, I'm glad you didn't change it. This storyline always touches and scares me very much).
Oh, and then the first time Michael opens his mouth, bullshit comes out again. What's wrong with him? "How were they kissing?" "Like you kiss me" - And that was also something that always annoyed me. Sure, those rules might have been a little silly, but why did Michael and Brian keep kissing all the time.. Oh, okay, was I too hasty? The last straw for Justin was the conversation between Justin and Michael. I just rewatched this scene in QAF and also without the awful line that Brian should have left Justin lying there, this scene and Michael's behavior is bad enough. "I have lost him and for what? A fucking kiss between friends?" - As I said, I really really don't like Michael and he's a big part of what's happening, but then again it's not that simple. They all contribute their share and Brian's share is not small either.
Debbie's speech to Michael is wonderful and she gets all things to the point! I also completely agree with Justin's classification of the family. You really have the gift of getting things straight to the point, including the way Lindsay is portrayed (that's exactly why I don't like her) - "the first and only Mrs. B.A Kinney" haha. Unfortunately, Brian sometimes didn't clearly draw the line here either. I love Mel's reaction at the end!
Date: Jan 23, 2022 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6
And again, intense and amazing chapter! I like how you present Alex, how he's also coming straight to the point, not holding back. In this short conversation he already shows Brian so many truths, which Brian didn't see or didn't want to see, but which he hay to accept and deal with if he really wants to help Justin. And I'm sure he will choose the second choice! And then the real work begins because long before Justin needed therapy Brian would long already needed it. Don't get me wrong. I love Brian and I love Justin and I love their love, in my opinion they belong together. Both of them made mistakes and I didn't always or I did often not agree with the way the authors let them go through some storylines. Such complex characters, Brian who is already damaged when he meets Justin. Justin who goes through so much in the first season... So many interesting storylines which stayed sorts of open... And this damned 5. season with this stupid end where it looks as Brian just goes on to living his life as he has before Justin. Pathetic. I'm looking forward to continue to read your story because from what I've read so far I'm sure that you will open many of Brian's wounds and let him work through them. In order to help Justin he will have to really open himself!
Date: Jan 24, 2022 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12
Ah, what can I say? Another great chapter! And I love that Brian confronted Gary S. and punched him out! Great!
Regarding Lindsay... I have to say I think about her as badly as I do of Michael. some "best friends" they are... She pits Mel and Brian against each other, even in the first scene. In my opinion, a child's name should be chosen in peace between the partners and not make it a contest. And while at times it seems like she's supportive of Brian and Justin's relationship and hopes Brian will grow up a little, there are also those totally opposite moments like before their wedding when she talks Brian into going to a crappy White Party instead attend her wedding!? Where he is going to do what? Fuck guys like every day? I didn't understand that at all!!!! In my opinion she is a manipulating bitch.
Alright, back to your story. OMG, that moment when Justin takes off his beanie, Gus recognizes him and the two of them are just so incredibly happy. Even if it was manipulative, i agree, he needed this moment of joy and happiness. Awesome!
Oh, and by the way, I really really like Sam!
Date: Jan 24, 2022 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14
Interesting to get a little insight into Brian's thoughts and it's another small step in the right direction that Justin is contacting Brian. They talked too little to each other on the show and kept too many things from each other. As I've written before, a lot of the so interesting storylines weren't finished in my opinion, were left open and you always wondered if the other person found out or not. But it was a TV show and it wasn't just about Brian and Justin...